Share your burger king BACON KING burger experiences here.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Share your burger king BACON KING burger experiences here.

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I thought it would be cool and good to try the new burger king bacon king sandwich.

Who could resist?

Well, I bought one. And I ate it.

The whole thing.

It felt amazing. From the knowledge that a dozen animals were raised intentionally for slaughter to the act of my body freeing the blessed proteins and amino acids that were begging-no, yearning to be set free from their carnal incarceration in order to apply themselves to the greater good: the gluttonous satisfaction of building a bigger and better being. Eating such a meal is a sublime experience that is ultimately peerless. Thoughts of pigs, cows, and the occasional deer being condemned at my judgment cascaded into my mind gave me incomprehensible joy. I relished at the thought of staring the animals in the face as they screamed and died around me for my consumption. They did not know anything, nor did they comprehend anything other than the imminent clasp of death fast approaching without remorse.
My only regret was that there was not enough blood spilling out with each bite, that it was not fresh enough to be considered raw, that it was not so juicy and fresh that the meat was still screaming as I sunk my jaws into its supple, beckoning flesh.

But I was not discouraged. I continued to rip apart the seared flesh of animals and to chew it into an unidentifiable pulp to be swallowed and used to fuel my body's processes. Every bite released more and more flavor and proteins onto my tongue, some even diffusing across my tongue right away to be used up. This was the only use for such beings. But something remarkable happened to me.

With every chomp, I imagined another animal's life being for forfeit and expiring. But I stopped chomping halfway through. A cold sweat drenched me in peerless peril. Why did I stop? Perhaps there was a lapse in my thinking as much of my energy was devoted to eating the meat. After all, energy pooled in one placed leaves other places without energy to work with. Would I resume? I hoped that I would. I could not stop now. Strips of muscular pulp rolled merrily in my mouth, guided by my subconscious. A flicker of a thought rushed into my mind from feeling my tongue be lightly brushed with the meat in my mouth. Once more I thought about all the lesser beings sacrificed to be consumed in a mad orgy of pleasure and superiority, as nature intended. Why discard such a marvelous source of sustenance, only for it to be cast to the worms, rotted and wasted?

That was simply not an option.

So I continued the journey of my jaws through newfound inspiration. It was from this I had disciplined myself to chew with ever growing speed and force to make up for my hesitation. Chomp, munch munch munch munch, ssssluuurrp-guwah. Another section of blood and flesh taken where it would be dealt with by my stomach to truly set those overflowing proteins free into the rest of the cells of my body. It did not take long for me to finish my meal as I spent an entire minute grinding, shredding, eviscerating such sustenance so it may be more easily transmutable into something beneficiary. The first part of the meal was finished. Now it was time for the other parts many do not think about, for shame.

The last pieces of ground up flesh had fallen down my moist cavity and into my stomach, where it briefly reunited with the prior bites. My stomach showed no remorse as it started to break down the pulp even further and extract the precious protein, awesome amino acids, and miscellaneous materials from the devoured mass. My cells rejoiced as they were greated with an overflowing deposit of nutrition spilling deep into my tissues. Immediately the cells took advantage of the surplus of nutrition to grow, strengthen, multiply, and repeat again and again and again. The building blocks of my being were flushed with lively energy, and would persist for hours. Every last conceivable infinitesimal piece of nutrition was thoroughly extracted thanks to my loyal stomach. My cells had lined up to thank my stomach to return such hospitality.

But not all of what is consumed is treated equal. Some of it was deemed too unsalvageable: too inferior to bother processing. Nothing was left worth plucking from it. It is fair to assume so, given the nature of where it originated. But there was a solution: cast out the inferior sustenance to make room for new and tastier sustenance. Its long journey throughout the lower part of my body had begun, where it would be violently expelled with a vengence as the only thing the world will ever remember it for. It took hours and hours until finally it was at the last step. Soon it would be forever gone, forever changed. I had rushed over to the usual spot of disposal and authorized its final department.

The inferior matter was permanently thrown out without a second thought. I felt every cell of the tissues responsible for disposal become jubilent as it was casting away the matter. At first very little trickled out, but soon came an almighty, unstoppable, unyielding torrent of inferior, wasteful matter being expelled. The horrible stench and noises rose and invaded my nostrils and ears to give me conflicted feelings of jubilence and momentary struggle. It was a grim reminder of what was left of the inferior beings. They had been boiled down to their core; lesser, undesirable, unwanting matter that none shall grieve over, but instead praise for coming to a just end. I only imagined that even more was on the way from even more beings getting slaughtered as my body goes through with this process. More and more of it had gushed out of me like the straneous floodgates finally being opened. A floodgate of natural, rightful carnal joy. I remained at the site for quite sometime, realizing later that there was none left to expell. I felt...empty. Had something gone wrong? Was there something else I needed to do?
That is when I had truly realized it.

There was not a void left in me but instead I had been filled with pure and righteous bliss.

The cycle would begin anew briefly...

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 03:03

crabf: May 29, 2015

EorayMel posted:

I thought it would be cool and good to try the new burger king bacon king sandwich.

Who could resist?

Well, I bought one. And I ate it.

The whole thing.

It felt amazing. From the knowledge that a dozen animals were raised intentionally for slaughter to the act of my body freeing the blessed proteins and amino acids that were begging-no, yearning to be set free from their carnal incarceration in order to apply themselves to the greater good: the gluttonous satisfaction of building a bigger and better being. Eating such a meal is a sublime experience that is ultimately peerless. Thoughts of pigs, cows, and the occasional deer being condemned at my judgment cascaded into my mind gave me incomprehensible joy. I relished at the thought of staring the animals in the face as they screamed and died around me for my consumption. They did not know anything, nor did they comprehend anything other than the imminent clasp of death fast approaching without remorse.
My only regret was that there was not enough blood spilling out with each bite, that it was not fresh enough to be considered raw, that it was not so juicy and fresh that the meat was still screaming as I sunk my jaws into its supple, beckoning flesh.

But I was not discouraged. I continued to rip apart the seared flesh of animals and to chew it into an unidentifiable pulp to be swallowed and used to fuel my body's processes. Every bite released more and more flavor and proteins onto my tongue, some even diffusing across my tongue right away to be used up. This was the only use for such beings. But something remarkable happened to me.

With every chomp, I imagined another animal's life being for forfeit and expiring. But I stopped chomping halfway through. A cold sweat drenched me in peerless peril. Why did I stop? Perhaps there was a lapse in my thinking as much of my energy was devoted to eating the meat. After all, energy pooled in one placed leaves other places without energy to work with. Would I resume? I hoped that I would. I could not stop now. Strips of muscular pulp rolled merrily in my mouth, guided by my subconscious. A flicker of a thought rushed into my mind from feeling my tongue be lightly brushed with the meat in my mouth. Once more I thought about all the lesser beings sacrificed to be consumed in a mad orgy of pleasure and superiority, as nature intended. Why discard such a marvelous source of sustenance, only for it to be cast to the worms, rotted and wasted?

That was simply not an option.

So I continued the journey of my jaws through newfound inspiration. It was from this I had disciplined myself to chew with ever growing speed and force to make up for my hesitation. Chomp, munch munch munch munch, ssssluuurrp-guwah. Another section of blood and flesh taken where it would be dealt with by my stomach to truly set those overflowing proteins free into the rest of the cells of my body. It did not take long for me to finish my meal as I spent an entire minute grinding, shredding, eviscerating such sustenance so it may be more easily transmutable into something beneficiary. The first part of the meal was finished. Now it was time for the other parts many do not think about, for shame.

The last pieces of ground up flesh had fallen down my moist cavity and into my stomach, where it briefly reunited with the prior bites. My stomach showed no remorse as it started to break down the pulp even further and extract the precious protein, awesome amino acids, and miscellaneous materials from the devoured mass. My cells rejoiced as they were greated with an overflowing deposit of nutrition spilling deep into my tissues. Immediately the cells took advantage of the surplus of nutrition to grow, strengthen, multiply, and repeat again and again and again. The building blocks of my being were flushed with lively energy, and would persist for hours. Every last conceivable infinitesimal piece of nutrition was thoroughly extracted thanks to my loyal stomach. My cells had lined up to thank my stomach to return such hospitality.

But not all of what is consumed is treated equal. Some of it was deemed too unsalvageable: too inferior to bother processing. Nothing was left worth plucking from it. It is fair to assume so, given the nature of where it originated. But there was a solution: cast out the inferior sustenance to make room for new and tastier sustenance. Its long journey throughout the lower part of my body had begun, where it would be violently expelled with a vengence as the only thing the world will ever remember it for. It took hours and hours until finally it was at the last step. Soon it would be forever gone, forever changed. I had rushed over to the usual spot of disposal and authorized its final department.

The inferior matter was permanently thrown out without a second thought. I felt every cell of the tissues responsible for disposal become jubilent as it was casting away the matter. At first very little trickled out, but soon came an almighty, unstoppable, unyielding torrent of inferior, wasteful matter being expelled. The horrible stench and noises rose and invaded my nostrils and ears to give me conflicted feelings of jubilence and momentary struggle. It was a grim reminder of what was left of the inferior beings. They had been boiled down to their core; lesser, undesirable, unwanting matter that none shall grieve over, but instead praise for coming to a just end. I only imagined that even more was on the way from even more beings getting slaughtered as my body goes through with this process. More and more of it had gushed out of me like the straneous floodgates finally being opened. A floodgate of natural, rightful carnal joy. I remained at the site for quite sometime, realizing later that there was none left to expell. I felt...empty. Had something gone wrong? Was there something else I needed to do?
That is when I had truly realized it.

There was not a void left in me but instead I had been filled with pure and righteous bliss.

The cycle would begin anew briefly...

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:43

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

when i need a bacon fix theres only one game in town, my dude

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:44

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Next you should cram the new thesaurus (you obviously just got) down your throat.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:46

KennyLoggins: Dec 3, 2004; Welcome to the Danger Zone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg-v2sXp3XE

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:46

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

I've never tried it because it's like six dollars just for the sandwich

It's not even worth eating (((fast food))) anymore

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:54

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

ops mom is p okay in the sack

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:55

myDad: Jan 20, 2010; ce n'est pas ma m�re; College Slice

Wow that's a lot of words

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:58

Fastball LIVE in concert: Jul 10, 2010

KennyLoggins posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg-v2sXp3XE

his dad is gonna be pissed he spilled mayo and grease all over his suit

# ? Nov 11, 2016 05:59

dad gay. so what: Feb 18, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

whatevs

# ? Nov 11, 2016 06:01

The Remote Viewer: Jul 9, 2001

You should eat one every day for the next 5 years.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 06:00

breaklaw: May 12, 2008

Non-ironic Bacon King fan here. Yes it is expensive but it's the best burger I've ever bought from a drive-thru.

fe: gently caress vegans :burger:

# ? Nov 11, 2016 06:40

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

It looks like a Jack in the box ultimate bacon cheesburger.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 06:40

Lost Canyoneer: Nov 1, 2009

Okay so I've tried it twice. The first one was so good (at least for a Burger King burger) that I went back a week later for another one. Unfortunately the second one had a big wad of tough, overcooked bacon in the middle that I had to eat around. I had to take big points off for that.

Also I would have been better with mustard instead of ketchup, but that debate is for another thread.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 07:29

BIG PUFFY NIPS: Mar 7, 2007; College Slice

i didnt read all that but that looks like a good if not particularly unique or interesting burg

# ? Nov 11, 2016 07:31

Howard Beale: Feb 22, 2001; It's like this, Peanut

tryhardin 'bout burger king ITT

# ? Nov 11, 2016 08:24

Genderfluent: Jul 15, 2015

luv 2 date boys posted:

when i need a bacon fix theres only one game in town, my dude

# ? Nov 11, 2016 08:25

Prokhor Zakharov: Dec 31, 2008; This is me as I make another great post

Good luck with your depression!

KennyLoggins posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg-v2sXp3XE

it is almost unbelievable what a fuckin dork this kid is

# ? Nov 11, 2016 08:31

Bill Barber: Aug 26, 2015; Hot Rope Guy

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

it is almost unbelievable what a fuckin dork this kid is

I think you forgot to turn your monitor on my man.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 08:59

GRILLARY CLINTON: Mar 5, 2016; I know the devil is real.
I know the devil is real.

EorayMel posted:

I thought it would be cool and good to try the new burger king bacon king sandwich.

Who could resist?

Well, I bought one. And I ate it.

The whole thing.

It felt amazing. From the knowledge that a dozen animals were raised intentionally for slaughter to the act of my body freeing the blessed proteins and amino acids that were begging-no, yearning to be set free from their carnal incarceration in order to apply themselves to the greater good: the gluttonous satisfaction of building a bigger and better being. Eating such a meal is a sublime experience that is ultimately peerless. Thoughts of pigs, cows, and the occasional deer being condemned at my judgment cascaded into my mind gave me incomprehensible joy. I relished at the thought of staring the animals in the face as they screamed and died around me for my consumption. They did not know anything, nor did they comprehend anything other than the imminent clasp of death fast approaching without remorse.
My only regret was that there was not enough blood spilling out with each bite, that it was not fresh enough to be considered raw, that it was not so juicy and fresh that the meat was still screaming as I sunk my jaws into its supple, beckoning flesh.

But I was not discouraged. I continued to rip apart the seared flesh of animals and to chew it into an unidentifiable pulp to be swallowed and used to fuel my body's processes. Every bite released more and more flavor and proteins onto my tongue, some even diffusing across my tongue right away to be used up. This was the only use for such beings. But something remarkable happened to me.

With every chomp, I imagined another animal's life being for forfeit and expiring. But I stopped chomping halfway through. A cold sweat drenched me in peerless peril. Why did I stop? Perhaps there was a lapse in my thinking as much of my energy was devoted to eating the meat. After all, energy pooled in one placed leaves other places without energy to work with. Would I resume? I hoped that I would. I could not stop now. Strips of muscular pulp rolled merrily in my mouth, guided by my subconscious. A flicker of a thought rushed into my mind from feeling my tongue be lightly brushed with the meat in my mouth. Once more I thought about all the lesser beings sacrificed to be consumed in a mad orgy of pleasure and superiority, as nature intended. Why discard such a marvelous source of sustenance, only for it to be cast to the worms, rotted and wasted?

That was simply not an option.

So I continued the journey of my jaws through newfound inspiration. It was from this I had disciplined myself to chew with ever growing speed and force to make up for my hesitation. Chomp, munch munch munch munch, ssssluuurrp-guwah. Another section of blood and flesh taken where it would be dealt with by my stomach to truly set those overflowing proteins free into the rest of the cells of my body. It did not take long for me to finish my meal as I spent an entire minute grinding, shredding, eviscerating such sustenance so it may be more easily transmutable into something beneficiary. The first part of the meal was finished. Now it was time for the other parts many do not think about, for shame.

The last pieces of ground up flesh had fallen down my moist cavity and into my stomach, where it briefly reunited with the prior bites. My stomach showed no remorse as it started to break down the pulp even further and extract the precious protein, awesome amino acids, and miscellaneous materials from the devoured mass. My cells rejoiced as they were greated with an overflowing deposit of nutrition spilling deep into my tissues. Immediately the cells took advantage of the surplus of nutrition to grow, strengthen, multiply, and repeat again and again and again. The building blocks of my being were flushed with lively energy, and would persist for hours. Every last conceivable infinitesimal piece of nutrition was thoroughly extracted thanks to my loyal stomach. My cells had lined up to thank my stomach to return such hospitality.

But not all of what is consumed is treated equal. Some of it was deemed too unsalvageable: too inferior to bother processing. Nothing was left worth plucking from it. It is fair to assume so, given the nature of where it originated. But there was a solution: cast out the inferior sustenance to make room for new and tastier sustenance. Its long journey throughout the lower part of my body had begun, where it would be violently expelled with a vengence as the only thing the world will ever remember it for. It took hours and hours until finally it was at the last step. Soon it would be forever gone, forever changed. I had rushed over to the usual spot of disposal and authorized its final department.

The inferior matter was permanently thrown out without a second thought. I felt every cell of the tissues responsible for disposal become jubilent as it was casting away the matter. At first very little trickled out, but soon came an almighty, unstoppable, unyielding torrent of inferior, wasteful matter being expelled. The horrible stench and noises rose and invaded my nostrils and ears to give me conflicted feelings of jubilence and momentary struggle. It was a grim reminder of what was left of the inferior beings. They had been boiled down to their core; lesser, undesirable, unwanting matter that none shall grieve over, but instead praise for coming to a just end. I only imagined that even more was on the way from even more beings getting slaughtered as my body goes through with this process. More and more of it had gushed out of me like the straneous floodgates finally being opened. A floodgate of natural, rightful carnal joy. I remained at the site for quite sometime, realizing later that there was none left to expell. I felt...empty. Had something gone wrong? Was there something else I needed to do?
That is when I had truly realized it.

There was not a void left in me but instead I had been filled with pure and righteous bliss.

The cycle would begin anew briefly...

same

# ? Nov 11, 2016 09:03

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

KennyLoggins posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg-v2sXp3XE

My man ReportoftheWeek.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 09:10

Nill: Aug 24, 2003

Yeah, but what does it rate on a Wendy's Baconator normalized scale?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 09:31

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

it is almost unbelievable what a fuckin dork this kid is

Leave ReviewBrah out of it.

e: we've had this in the UK for ages. I guess America really is becoming great again!

http://www.burgerking.co.uk/menu-item/bacon-double-xl

Theophany fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Nov 11, 2016

# ? Nov 11, 2016 10:12

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Who appointed him the king of bacon

# ? Nov 11, 2016 10:22

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

He seems like lesser bacon royalty imo

# ? Nov 11, 2016 10:23

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I like to eat a Wendy's bacinator because it has a good name and > 1000 calories

# ? Nov 11, 2016 10:29

Quote-Unquote: Oct 22, 2002

Look at all those words about poo poo-tier burgers that I'm not going to read.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 11:05

Edgar: Sep 9, 2005; Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!; Wedge Regret

It's decent, i ate it about 3 minutes over the kitchen sink. For burger King burgers, I like the a1 burger better.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 11:29

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

son of baconator from Wendy's is a better deal

I never get the baconator because it's too expensive

# ? Nov 11, 2016 11:55

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Isn't ReviewBrah legit crazy or something? Like he lives in his car and constantly moves around because he thinks people are "after him"?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:08

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Reckon that's just a western whopper without the cheese, onion rings, and BBQ sawce. :clint:

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:11

ballistics statistics: Nov 27, 2003; God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

it is almost unbelievable what a fuckin dork this kid is

He makes more money than you do, just from youtube views, so get hosed. I'm happy enough to even say I watch him on a regular basis to see if I should try some weird fast food thing or not.

EDIT: let me rephrase to "more than you ever did when you were his age." He's making thousands as a teenager before he goes to college or has to be an adult. I've been watching this guys videos for years. So have many more.

ballistics statistics fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Nov 11, 2016

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:11

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Reckon that's just a western whopper without the cheese, onion rings, and BBQ sawce.

it uses the smaller patties not the whopper patties

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:12

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

i went into burger king the other day and it was really sad. i was the only one there, but some how it still took them 15 min to make a single whopper, and it was the worst looking whopper i had ever seen. the decor did not look like it had changed or been maintained since the 80s

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:15

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

I think they should take that burger, grind it up with a mortar and pestle, roll it in egg and breadcrumb with some French toast sticks, throw that in the deep frier until golden brown, and serve with maple syrup. :clint:

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:17

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

I think they should take that burger, grind it up with a mortar and pestle, roll it in egg and breadcrumb with some French toast sticks, throw that in the deep frier until golden brown, and serve with maple syrup.

i would like to watch Gordan Ramsey try to fix a failing Burger King

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:18

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

what would you do for three pancakes for 89 cents

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:18

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

Wendy's Swiss junior bacon cheeseburger is really good irl.

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:26

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

ballistics statistics posted:

He makes more money than you do, just from youtube views, so get hosed. I'm happy enough to even say I watch him on a regular basis to see if I should try some weird fast food thing or not.

EDIT: let me rephrase to "more than you ever did when you were his age." He's making thousands as a teenager before he goes to college or has to be an adult. I've been watching this guys videos for years. So have many more.

weve gone from arguing about fast food to arguing about fast food youtube reviews and i am full of despair

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 03:03

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

Enfield posted:

weve gone from arguing about fast food to arguing about fast food youtube reviews and i am full of despair

flame broiled, eh?

# ? Nov 11, 2016 12:28

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