|
Maybe, just maybe, we should not talk about women like they're commodity goods with particular features and stock levels like you're shopping at a god damned mall.
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 14:16 |
|
|
Buschmaki posted:If you're writing multiple paragraphs about the mathematical reasons that prohibit you from dating black people maybe step back a bit. Basically this, since I spoke about that exact problem and how relatively simple it is to overcome. But I guess it's easier to get rejected by a bunch of non-black women than show up to a black professional meet up group or a black professionals singles group that will be overwhelmingly tilted in favor of black men ratio wise. Most black women date black men, and vice versa. Coming up with all these sweeping generalizations about how they don't like "black men" because you saw a few date white guys is weird, especially when y'all admitted y'all weren't exactly even trying to find black women and expected them to fall out of the sky just for you. Life don't work that way, and the expectation that black women resist the same interracial dating ideas y'all have embraced and justified as "well they don't want me, they want to be taken by white dudes" is weird as gently caress. I've never had these problems. I saw the changing demographics as it relates to my work and living space and made the nominal effort to stay connected to and around my people. Y'all sound like Trump voters or those white liberals who stayed at home when it comes to dating black women, that things have to be your way or gently caress it, you're just going to put in 100x more effort to date outside your race and overcome centuries of stereotypes. That being said, black women can date whoever they want, and black men can do the same, but let's stop with all the high level physics equations that y'all are using to show why you're entitled to black women and it's their fault that they aren't all over you.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:38
|
|
|
Maluco Marinero posted:Maybe, just maybe, we should not talk about women like they're commodity goods with particular features and stock levels like you're shopping at a god damned mall. That's the lovely thing about online dating. It breeds that mentality. 'How tall do you want your partner to be?' 'What body type do you want your partner to have?' 'What income level do you want your partner to have?' The entire filter system on most dating sites makes it dehumanizing. So it's not too surprising this was the outcome of talking about a terrible system. Could we allow the discussion in this thread to continue however? Even if it's not about online dating. The appropriate parties have apologized. And I was finding the thread informative.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:45
|
|
BAD POSTER ALERT!
|
Indigofreak posted:That's the lovely thing about online dating. It breeds that mentality. 'How tall do you want your partner to be?' 'What body type do you want your partner to have?' 'What income level do you want your partner to have?' The entire filter system on most dating sites makes it dehumanizing. So it's not too surprising this was the outcome of talking about a terrible system. Yeah, the build a bear mentality on dating sites is pretty much gross as the gently caress, but it's also a reflection of how people wish they could have dated for a long long time. The problem with online dating at the end of the day, is that it's never ever enough. There's always someone more attractive, someone who gets you more, etc etc, and always seeking that perfection in someone else leaves people doing little to no introspection on how they themselves can become better. They instead spend hours and hours a day trying to find that "perfect" as if it then makes them "perfect", and they don't have to change in any way.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:49
|
|
|
Darth Walrus posted:Those red texts aren't coming from inside the thread, dude. There's a racist white poo poo-stirrer giving Lowtax astonishing amounts of money to insult every single person who posts in these threads. I've bought a few new avatars for people afflicted by lovely redtexts, but he's definitely winning the avatar weapons race  I think I've seen like ten people with the one I have, fucker is unoriginal.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:50
|
|
|
Indigofreak posted:That's the lovely thing about online dating. It breeds that mentality. 'How tall do you want your partner to be?' 'What body type do you want your partner to have?' 'What income level do you want your partner to have?' The entire filter system on most dating sites makes it dehumanizing. So it's not too surprising this was the outcome of talking about a terrible system. I immediately thought of Tinder when reading Maluco Marinero's post. It's a lovely catalog of people who don't tell much about themselves so one can only make a choice based of some low-quality selfies.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:53
|
|
|
Schizotek posted:I've bought a few new avatars for people afflicted by lovely redtexts, but he's definitely winning the avatar weapons race Well, I don't think it's ONE person. I think it's one person that bought all of the avis that you have, but I think that person is separate from the group of people who are buying all of the racist redtext. That I think is happening from a group of people working in concert. waffles beyond waffles posted:I immediately thought of Tinder when reading Maluco Marinero's post. It's a lovely catalog of people who don't tell much about themselves so one can only make a choice based of some low-quality selfies. I mean, that's pretty much most dating sites. I mean, most people (read: men), don't read bios that are written or anything. Women are far and above more likely to put actual effort into online dating. I mean, compare messages from women who message men first versus the messages women get from men first. Men either write something lazy as gently caress, sexist as gently caress, rapey as gently caress, with a vanishingly small percentage writing something that is decent and respectable. Go ahead, ask any woman friend of yours that does online dating to look at her inbox. It's an absolute shitshow of massive proportions. negromancer fucked around with this message at 21:58 on Nov 13, 2016 |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:54
|
|
|
A lot of assumptions I had about people of color dating and various preferences have been shattered after reading people's personal experiences. I had previously been told matter of factly how black women were just less likely to date non black men, it never had occurred to be that people simply didn't want to date black women. So I had it completely backwards.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:55
|
|
|
Most people who aren't lovely are down with whomever will take their lame rear end for real for real.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 21:59
|
|
|
Fluffdaddy posted:Most people who aren't lovely are down with whomever will take their lame rear end for real for real. Ehhh...let's not go down that road.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 22:02
|
|
|
negromancer posted:I mean, that's pretty much most dating sites. I mean, most people (read: men), don't read bios that are written or anything. Women are far and above more likely to put actual effort into online dating. I mean, compare messages from women who message men first versus the messages women get from men first. Men either write something lazy as gently caress, sexist as gently caress, rapey as gently caress, with a vanishingly small percentage writing something that is decent and respectable. Exactly this. It's why I always spent the time to read the woman's entire profile and to ask questions about things she mentioned in it to make it obvious I was actually interested in having a two-way conversation and wasn't just waiting to send her dick pics. Still hardly ever got a reply just due to the amount of noise drowning out any actual signal. The main reason I used it was because at that time I was working graveyard shifts with my days off on Tuesday and Wednesday, which combined with me not being really into hanging out at singles bars, meant I rarely got to talk to anyone outside of my coworkers, so it was pretty much the only reasonable way to meet new people. Fluffdaddy posted:Most people who aren't lovely are down with whomever will take their lame rear end for real for real. This is me. My wife is the first woman I ever dated who was actually interested in my well being instead of her own, and accepted me for who I am without demanding I change to make her happier (though I am happy that she has helped educate me and open my eyes to a lot of poo poo I was previously oblivious to due to being raised in the cradle of ~white privilege~). Darko posted:Apparently so, because when explained why it happens all of the time in the first post, someone still said it was "weird." No, just stop. Even if you're genuinely interested in learning and letting yourself be corrected, you still sound like you're sea lioning. If someone says you're being misogynist, stop, and apologize with something like "I'm sorry, due to my own innate biases, I did not realize what I said was offensive, and I apologize for it. If someone would like to help me see where I hosed up, I would really appreciate if someone could help me to understand as I lack the proper perspective/personal experience to comprehend my mistake, thank you." Show that you're contrite and willing to learn, don't start rattling off statistics and trying to diminish the other person's perspective.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 22:32
|
|
|
I think it's came up in the old USPOL, but I'd like to know more about the black community's relationship with agnosticism/atheism if anyone wants to talk about that. I know movement atheism and the skeptic community are havens for racism as much as they are for misogyny, but on an individual basis what's the situation?
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 22:58
|
|
|
Kraps posted:rage fodder Maybe try reading the bit in the OP about not posting rage fodder? This is granting you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't just drive-by trolling, which may be too generous.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 23:34
|
|
|
Speaking of the rage fodder clause in the OP, it still has some parts to it specific to the Facebook group I copy/pasted it from. Could I suggest the following edits to make it more forums-specific? I also removed mentions of triggers and safe spaces because, sadly, I don't think these forums are a safe space to be using those words, but it might be possible to convey the concept in words goons can understand. proposed wording posted:'Rage fodder' is oppressive memes or posts that will simply enrage group members without purpose. Posting rage fodder tends to have the same effect as (and is often indistinguishable from) trolling, and is not welcome in this thread. If you have to share something like this, please spoiler the content and/or link without embedding, and explain how it makes you feel and what you need the group's help with when working through those emotions.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2016 23:42
|
|
|
there wolf posted:I think it's came up in the old USPOL, but I'd like to know more about the black community's relationship with agnosticism/atheism if anyone wants to talk about that. I know movement atheism and the skeptic community are havens for racism as much as they are for misogyny, but on an individual basis what's the situation? On the positive side, there is a national organization called Black Nonbelievers. They are putting out a documentary called "Exodus". I'll link the trailer here: https://youtu.be/jej6u9QCCOw Black women by and large are the most church-going, devout, tithing demographic, but a lot of black people are stepping away from the traditional church for multiple reasons (i.e. Christianity being used as a tool to enslave and control us, the point of view of pastors just taking tithes to buy fancy cars and homes, younger people not buying into religion, etc.). The black church is kind of at a crossroads at this particular juncture. Religion in general is at the same crossroad, but it finally impacting the black church is also of concern to a lot of folks. I'm a black, gay, female, atheist for the record. And, just from my personal perspective, atheism is seen as a "white thing". So is being gay. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:03
|
|
|
All these years of poo poo posting you as an Auburn fan, never knew you were female Morby. Roll Tide On subject, the black church is one of those things that I struggle with as an entity. During the Civil Rights movement it was a safe-ish haven for black folks (unless you were in Birmingham) and a great place to organize. I think some parts of the church are still good for that. But another part of me finds the origins of most black churches as part of our earliest oppression. While there are are orthodox Christian churches going back to the 1st century in Ethiopia, the churches of American black folks are not based off of those as all. And modernity has turned a lot of these churches into the most insane mix of prosperity gospel bullshit and social circle/community center type place, especially down here in the deep south. My dad is extremely atheist, but he still puts his ugliest suits on and drives his rear end out to the country for Sunday services at his childhood church.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:14
|
|
|
Black Sunday Best clothes are the loving best. It's uniquely us and as far as I know one of the few things white people have not appropriated. yet.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:24
|
|
|
Morby posted:On the positive side, there is a national organization called Black Nonbelievers. They are putting out a documentary called "Exodus". I'll link the trailer here: That was pretty neat; I'll have to keep an eye out for Exodus when it comes out in full. Have you been involved with Black Nonbelievers and if so do you find it a more welcoming environment for women, gays, etc. compared to more mainstream atheist groups? Koalas March posted:Black Sunday Best clothes are the loving best. It's uniquely us and as far as I know one of the few things white people have not appropriated. yet. Is Black Sunday Best clothes a specific style? I'm thinking the hats specifically. Whenever there's an Ascot or Royal wedding and white people start fawning over the hats/fascinators I always roll my eyes because it's not like black women haven't been keeping the awesome hat game going every Sunday for decades now.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:35
|
|
|
I am not black, nor religious, but I kind of want to go to a local church just for the music (famous steel guitar players I heard about on American Roots). I would feel incredibly awkward showing up in my jeans and a t-shirt.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:35
|
|
|
Koalas March posted:Black Sunday Best clothes are the loving best. It's uniquely us and as far as I know one of the few things white people have not appropriated. yet. They can take our suits, but they ain't getting our hats.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:35
|
|
|
there wolf posted:Is Black Sunday Best clothes a specific style? I'm thinking the hats specifically. Whenever there's an Ascot or Royal wedding and white people start fawning over the hats/fascinators I always roll my eyes because it's not like black women haven't been keeping the awesome hat game going every Sunday for decades now. Check this out: http://megachurchsuits.com waffles beyond waffles posted:I am not black, nor religious, but I kind of want to go to a local church just for the music (famous steel guitar players I heard about on American Roots). I would feel incredibly awkward showing up in my jeans and a t-shirt. Hit up that link and get you some clothes cuz
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:37
|
|
|
I assumed that Christianity has stayed relatively important to black communities because the church is one of the few institutions of organized black power that white moderates have tolerated (at least in relative terms).
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:44
|
|
|
Koalas March posted:Check this out: http://megachurchsuits.com Megachurch suits.com  The shiny, power suits, of course! I always think of them as mother-of-the-bride wear, but general churchwear makes more sense.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:49
|
|
|
Koalas March posted:Check this out: http://megachurchsuits.com I was gonna ask the same thing because when I think of Black Sunday Best I think of dresses and hats not suits and ties. I do like suits that go outside of the 2 button or double breasted norm. Denim suit tho... 
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:50
|
|
|
whydirt posted:I assumed that Christianity has stayed relatively important to black communities because the church is one of the few institutions of organized black power that white moderates have tolerated (at least in relative terms). Anytime a leader from the black churches emerges those same white people immediately move to take away their legitimacy, like MLK, Reverend Sharpton, Reverend Wright, etc. They only tolerate the black church when it is keeping black folks in their place on Sunday.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 00:51
|
|
|
Fluffdaddy posted:Roll Tide BOOOOOO! quote:On subject, the black church is one of those things that I struggle with as an entity. During the Civil Rights movement it was a safe-ish haven for black folks (unless you were in Birmingham) and a great place to organize. Even prior to the Civil Rights movement the church, our Greek-letter organizations, and and some of our institutions of higher learning see the only places we could gather without being overseen by whites. To a certain extent, that's still true. quote:And modernity has turned a lot of these churches into the most insane mix of prosperity gospel bullshit and social circle/community center type place, especially down here in the deep south. This poo poo is the absolute worst! There are churches in Atlanta that check your W2 before allowing you to join. They allow you to automatically deduct your tithe pre-tax. How convenient. quote:My dad is extremely atheist, but he still puts his ugliest suits on and drives his rear end out to the country for Sunday services at his childhood church. That sounds drat miserable. I enjoy the hell out of not having to go anywhere on Sundays when I can help it. there wolf posted:That was pretty neat; I'll have to keep an eye out for Exodus when it comes out in full. Have you been involved with Black Nonbelievers and if so do you find it a more welcoming environment for women, gays, etc. compared to more mainstream atheist groups? I've been involved with NB a bit. I found out about them when I was flying out of ATL on a business trip and saw a big advertisement with the leader of the organization. The advertisement said something to the effect of "Don't believe in a god? You're not alone." I was stunned because she was black, female, and put contact information up in broad daylight basically outing herself as an atheist. I discussed this specific fear that I had with her once, and she said she was pleasantly surprised that most of the correspondence she got was positive. I wonder if that's changed based on President Trump being A Thing. I would say that NB is a pretty accepting environment as far as gender and sexual orientation stuff goes. White atheists do have a problem with those topics, though. The thing about NB is that not only black people are involved/participate.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 01:21
|
|
|
Two Shaker Heights teens disciplined after exposing student’s derogatory commentsquote:“I’m pro lgbtqa, pro abortion but not pro black rights.” “No because they don’t work for it and as a culture they are scary, violent, rude and needy. They expect to be catered to. Like, have you seen, heard the black people in the hall? They don’t try, they don’t give a flying crap.” Well at least kids these days are getting exposed to the fact that intersectionality is a lie at such a young age (even though I feel stupid saying that cause I'm not black). I do love that it comes from the "most Liberal* city in Ohio" though. *as measured by Clarity Campaign Labs
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 02:43
|
|
|
Eej posted:Two Shaker Heights teens disciplined after exposing student’s derogatory comments I like how the kid who exposed the comments is in trouble, as opposed to the kid who made the comment. That is some pro-level discipline right there!
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 02:50
|
|
|
What do black people think about 30 something white guys in marches throwing up a black power fist and chanting blm?
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 03:18
|
|
|
That is kind of the idea, right? Raising awareness so, collectively, we can enact change?
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 03:59
|
|
|
Sharkopath posted:Also historically every time black soldiers were sought and promised a chance to show the world our mettle and be rewarded with respect from it they got dropped and forgotten as soon as the fight was over. This is from a while back, but this here connects to my experience at the local Black History Museum. It was just a couple of rooms in an annex of a local high school. Most of it was just little milestone stuff like "First Black Fireman in Town" but a big chunk of it was dedicated to Henry Ossian Flipper. Former slave. First black graduate of West Point. First black lieutenant in the US Army (leading black soldiers of course). Any guesses on how his story goes? Constantly hounded with frivolous lawsuits for fraternizing with a white woman and eventually framed for embezzlement. Didn't get his honorable discharge until 1976. Didn't get his pardon until 1999.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 07:13
|
|
|
I was taking a historical tour thing of my town a while ago. One part that stuck out was the guy telling us the town's first police force was all black. They hired a couple dozen as a sort of "town guard" but they were unarmed and had goofy uniforms. No one took them seriously, many were badly beaten when trying to actually be city-watch types and stop crimes, and eventually the whole thing was disbanded. The guy who started it all was fired too, because he was given a budget to create some sort of police force but by hiring negros he could pay them almost nothing and pocket the difference.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 07:48
|
|
|
Koalas March posted:Check this out: http://megachurchsuits.com Ma'am are you lost? Do you need assistance? 
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 08:01
|
|
|
Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Ma'am are you lost? Do you need assistance? What in the gently caress is this? I thought we agreed no rage fodder? lol
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 08:13
|
|
|
Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Ma'am are you lost? Do you need assistance? 
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 10:21
|
|
|
Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Ma'am are you lost? Do you need assistance? That dress is lost. In time and space.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 10:22
|
|
|
Tiny Brontosaurus posted:I'm not even playing this poo poo you loving dickheads. Imagine someone in here going "where's the racism?" "we're just talking numbers and sweeping demographics." HAha you're weird as heck dude maybe take a long break from the internet. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 11:56
|
|
|
Minimalist Program posted:HAha you're weird as heck dude maybe take a long break from the internet. gently caress off
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 12:00
|
|
|
I'm black and you white dudes are all fail as heck and whitesplaining (mansplaining?) things. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 12:07
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 14:16 |
|
|
Minimalist Program posted:I'm black and you white dudes are all fail as heck and whitesplaining (mansplaining?) things. Tiny Brontosaurus is a black woman. Might want to ease off on the whitesplaining/mansplaining accusations.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2016 12:09
|
|