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Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008

this entire conversation is incredibly banal

Sincerely,
- I first had the idea I could be gay when I saw the erect cock freely swinging around in meatspin and wasn't immediately repulsed. I didn't immediately want to kneel down and slobber all over someone's knob at the sight, but I thought, hey, that's kind of cool. Its a dick loving another dude in the rear end with such perfect rhythm that the other dick was dancing. Tits can bounce but don't quite get that circular motion, making that dick something unique and novel. I worked myself up a bit and tried recreating the motion myself, but there was an artistry that I wasn't able to grasp, so the image of a propeller dick stuck with me for a while as an unattainable experience that, deep down, I secretly longed for.

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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Bring back SADCHUB!

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJu8clHlhBA

cock hero flux
Apr 17, 2011



DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

why on god's green earth would i want to read your posts

don't sign, your posts

free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Soho Joe posted:

Part 4 of

These are fantastic

A Moose
Oct 22, 2009



Hey guys I read GBS and it was BAD! like really really bad! It was terrible! speaking of things that are bad, I also climbed into a septic tank and that was also very bad! Why does that place exist? We should get rid of all the septic tanks!

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord

A Moose posted:

Hey guys I read GBS and it was BAD! like really really bad! It was terrible! speaking of things that are bad, I also climbed into a septic tank and that was also very bad! Why does that place exist? We should get rid of all the septic tanks!

This metaphor only works if the septic tank contents can climb out of the tank and go walking around

Snooze Cruise
Feb 16, 2013

hey look,
a post

Improbable Lobster posted:

This metaphor only works if the septic tank contents can climb out of the tank and go walking around

Ahh yes, the cryptid known as the Swamp Ape

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

Improbable Lobster posted:

This metaphor only works if the septic tank contents can climb out of the tank and go walking around

You mean, like you emerging from your mum's vagina?

burexas.irom
Oct 29, 2007

I disapprove of what you say, and I will defend your death because you have no right to say it!

don't sign your mom

Soho Joe
Aug 11, 2006

the torment of existence
weighed against
the horror of nonbeing
Nap Ghost
Part 5 of 5 :smith:

GPF posted:

Dudes, this is totally no joke.
I was on a 3-can a day habit for the longest time. You just don't know how torn up my veins are from mainlining aerosol cheese. Once my arms were thrashed, I moved to my legs, then my hands, then my feet.
When I found myself in the gutter, Ritz cracker crumbs scattered around me like confetti and my best friend lying there dead...dead from some uncut Michigan Blue he happened to score...well, that did it for me.
Now I'm 4 years stone cold cheeseless. Don't misunderstand, though. Sometimes, I feel like cutting a quick slice of cheddar, but I know better. No more hanging out at Hickory Farms in the mall for me.

I'm living one day at a time.

Unknown posted:

It's videogames. Specifically, video games you can win or finish. That has ruined everything. When we were kids, there was one thing we all knew: The Space Invaders were coming. Yes, you could shoot at them, you could destroy them, and you might slow them down a little, but then they would resume their inexorable march. You couldn't stop them. You couldn't win against them.
Missile Command, as well. It only had one ending: the flashing words THE END accompanying the inevitable nuclear holocaust. Yes, you could somewhat postpone this, but it was going to happen. The question was not whether you'd fail, but how much time would pass until you fail.
This taught us the reality of life. There is no winning. You'll never be on top of the mountain holding the sword and the princess with your foot planted on the corpse of the villain. There is no final boss who is difficult to defeat but still possible to defeat. There is only an endless marching horde of space invaders, bearing down on you until you submit.

Unknown posted:

Kid: Who are you?
Me: I'm the assistant bus driver.
Kid: What's the assistant bus driver do?
Me: I make sure the primary bus driver doesn't shoot anyone. Also, if he dies, I take his place as primary bus driver.
Kid: Then who's the assistant bus driver when you're driving?
Me: Satan. You better hope I don't die.

free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Remember that time a bunch of goons ate pet food

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




I remember the time my grandpa did. Bought a little tin of specialty dog treats for their spoiled little yapper at christamas, and after dinner he just sat in a chair eating em. Nobody noticed until there was a lull in the conversation and we all heard the crunching

In his defense they were packaged like cookies and apparently they tasted a lot like stale shortbread but come on they were shaped like bones and it had the dog's name on the lid in marker

Hes not even the senile one

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty
One time when I was a kid my mom convinced us to try this dry kibble on the word from a coworker of hers that they really tasted like steak. I only ate one piece. It was dry, and tasted like dry dog food smells. eh, I could live off it if I were starving, but I'm not going to actively WANT to eat any more of it.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Chinaman7000 posted:

I keep clicking this but it isn't taking me anywhere, my browser is broken

BROCK LESBIAN posted:

Don't worry, I know one weird trick to fix it. Computer repair men hate me.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Tbf I am not a computer repair man and I hate you

BROCK LESBIAN posted:

You've made me a computer despair man :(

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax

free basket of chips posted:

Remember that time a bunch of goons ate pet food

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fIA7ivqId8

Remember that time when Everdraed used to still hang out here and make amazing content :sigh:

Hihohe
Oct 4, 2008

Fuck you and the sun you live under


Guy Mann posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fIA7ivqId8

Remember that time when Everdraed used to still hang out here and make amazing content :sigh:

I miss Everdraed. He was too good for this world

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Wait what happened to everdraed :(

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord
Why did goons eat dogfood? I remember when it happened but not why.

Guy Mann
Mar 28, 2016

by Lowtax

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Wait what happened to everdraed :(

He got internet famous for working on one of the biggest and most popular indie games in all of Tumblr history right at the same time that GBS reached the absolute nadir of anything resembling humor or sincerity.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer

Improbable Lobster posted:

Why did goons eat dogfood? I remember when it happened but not why.

The guy with a buttface in a pirate hat for an avatar posted a thread asking goons to help him with his monthly food budget. At the end of the budget was a listing for the dog food Beneful, which we assumed he wrote as a joke. A mod, Abe probably, came in and told him to post a video of him eating Beneful or he would be banned. I think other goons could do it too and get rewards or punish him. I remember some men not enjoying it, and a little girl eating cat food in milk like cereal and almost crying. Assface McPirate ate the beneful and REALLY did not enjoy it.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
What indie game?

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

RandomFerret posted:

I remember the time my grandpa did. Bought a little tin of specialty dog treats for their spoiled little yapper at christamas, and after dinner he just sat in a chair eating em. Nobody noticed until there was a lull in the conversation and we all heard the crunching

In his defense they were packaged like cookies and apparently they tasted a lot like stale shortbread but come on they were shaped like bones and it had the dog's name on the lid in marker

Hes not even the senile one

this story made my day, thanks

Crocoswine
Aug 20, 2010

Solice Kirsk posted:

What indie game?

Undertale

John Liver
May 4, 2009

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Wait what happened to everdraed :(

like all cool people who come to sa, he left

AlphaKretin
Dec 25, 2014

A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

He seems to still be around as recently as October, at least. :shrug:

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Oh! Good for him!

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

John Liver posted:

like all cool people who come to sa, he left

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


John Liver posted:

like all cool people who come to sa, he left

If you truly love a poster, set them free and hope they don't come back.

Crocoswine
Aug 20, 2010

Ein cooler Typ posted:

when I was a kid my dad threw a banana peel out the window once when he was driving

later I threw a chip bag out the window and he told me not to do it because it was littering. and I said but you threw a banana peel out the window. he said that was different because it was biodegradable

for the next 10 years of my life I thought "biodegradable" meant something adults are allowed to do but kids aren't

Sally
Jan 9, 2007


Don't post Small Dash!

Snooze Cruise posted:

Hi, this is the thread where you apologize for things you have done on the forums.

I will start by saying I am sorry for being unfunny most of the time.
I am also sorry that I constantly reference Portrait of Dorian Gray here despite never reading it.

Fushigi Yuugi fansub posted:

i'm sorry i clicked this thread

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

That actually explains a lot about the artwork for that game. :3: Good for him.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



I though that he designed only one of the last bosses...?

Akett
Aug 6, 2012

He's pretty much only responsible for the neutral route final boss.

elise the great
May 1, 2012

You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
I always miss the good discussions about jamming things into dicks

(possibly because there are no good discussions about jamming things into dicks)

but I (and many other healthcare goons) have jammed things into dicks and had blood come out of said dicks and kinda shrugged and wiped it off the thing I jammed in there and made a mental note to squirt some lidocaine up in there later if he starts getting feisty

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

elise the great posted:

I always miss the good discussions about jamming things into dicks

(possibly because there are no good discussions about jamming things into dicks)

but I (and many other healthcare goons) have jammed things into dicks and had blood come out of said dicks and kinda shrugged and wiped it off the thing I jammed in there and made a mental note to squirt some lidocaine up in there later if he starts getting feisty

If that wasn't a quote it is now.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost

Akett posted:

He's pretty much only responsible for the neutral route final boss.

Which is, by a mile, the strongest single moment in a game full of strong moments.

Davoren
Aug 14, 2003

The devil you say!

I wonder where XJAKK is these days...

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
I talked to his ex fiance last year, she says she hasn't heard from him since she got back on her meds and got her life together. Good for her. He's probably in an asylum somewhere.

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Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

elise the great posted:

I always miss the good discussions about jamming things into dicks

(possibly because there are no good discussions about jamming things into dicks)

but I (and many other healthcare goons) have jammed things into dicks and had blood come out of said dicks and kinda shrugged and wiped it off the thing I jammed in there and made a mental note to squirt some lidocaine up in there later if he starts getting feisty

Unlike elf dicks which, thanks to you, I now know are made to have things shoved into them.

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