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I thought a lot of boomers would die off due to obesity issues but that is looking less and less likely 
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Nov 16, 2016 22:34
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quote:I bought a painting at a thrift store to hang in my office. When my coworkers asked, I said I painted it myself. Just wanting to show off. quote:I am a victim of the liberal protests that have come in the wake of Donald Trump winning. "I'm not a racist, and I love every color of person there is" sounds like the kind of thing Trump would say actually
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Nov 17, 2016 00:43
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loquacius posted:"I'm not a racist, and I love every color of person there is" sounds like the kind of thing Trump would say actually 
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Nov 17, 2016 00:56
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quote:Richie proceeds to scream at me, calling me an idiot, out of touch, costing him his respect at the office, trying to cost him his career, etc etc etc. Every hateful untrue thing you could imagine. I just stand there and bravely take it, Come on, at least be a good writer if you're going to make up some garbage
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Nov 17, 2016 01:00
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Don't discuss politics at your workplace you loving idiot.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:01
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There's no way the trump story is true but I got a good laugh out of "my brother, but not like in a racial way."
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Nov 17, 2016 01:02
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loquacius posted:.. I am hosed because I already took the 1200 dollars, and even spent some of it on a new gasmask bong. Pay someone in SA Mart to paint it. It might cost a couple hundred bucks but it's better than nothing. loquacius posted:I am a victim of the liberal protests... You're an idiot. Firstly, whether or not it was interpreted as a racial remark it was most certainly gloating. #1 Apologize to Warehouse dude. Don't try to explain yourself, just apologize. #2 Explain to HR that it was a mistake and you didn't understand your request could have permanent implications. #3 Inform Warehouse dude that HR is off his back and that you are, once again, sorry. #4 Move on, don't assume things about people and stop trying to defend Donald Trump. That's his responsibility.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:03
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Von_Doom posted:... the most beautiful fire... Oh hey, same. And it loving sucks. Every time you declare that this is the final chance and they gently caress it up by getting high or whatever their addiction is and you walk away and mourn (again) the death of the relationship and slowly rebuild yourself until weeks or months later you get that 2:00am phone call and of course you take them back because you're soul mates and this time will be different and it never bloody is. I don't know what it is that makes these relationships so seductive but goddamn am I tired of it. Here's hoping the last break was the one that sticks for me at least.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:03
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I imagined that whole thing as happening between Michael and Darryl from the office.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:04
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Space T Rex posted:I imagined that whole thing as happening between Michael and Darryl from the office. Lol  but Andy rather than Michael.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:30
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Wizzle posted:Pay someone in SA Mart to paint it. It might cost a couple hundred bucks but it's better than nothing. Yeah, this is the best way to handle it. You know, besides giving the money back and coming clean.
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Nov 17, 2016 01:32
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Send him a painting of the gas mask bong and insist this is your interpretation of his house.
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Nov 17, 2016 02:25
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Dude could just use some of the money to commission a decent painting from a real artist, which is so obvious it makes me doubt the whole confession.
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Nov 17, 2016 02:47
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Panfilo posted:Send him a painting of the gas mask bong and insist this is your interpretation of his house. 
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Nov 17, 2016 05:09
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That Trump voter is a victim of foot-in-mouth syndrome and not much else. Well, and voting for Trump, obviously.
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Nov 17, 2016 06:01
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The Trump story is really obviously fake you guys.
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Nov 17, 2016 07:21
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quote:I got married earlier this summer to my girlfriend of the better part of a decade. We were wildly in love, and our sex life was healthy enough, we were both satisfied, things were going well. Still, since we've been together for so long, our "honeymoon phase" was pretty minor. That was all months ago. We were very comfortable together. Aw glad to hear  The lesbian cuck victim (self-described) sent a followup: quote:I honestly wasn't sure if my confession would be posted or not, so that was a nice surprise. My first long-term relationship lasted like a year longer than it should have because of that same stubbornness. It's a dangerous idea. But you are at least doing something, and that's a start.
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Nov 17, 2016 14:07
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The best thing about life is that it lasts forever, so it's okay to spend a few years of it miserable. There are people out there that will love you intensely and not treat you like poo poo, you know?
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Nov 17, 2016 14:22
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High five sex goon. My sex live is also pretty sweet right now
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Nov 17, 2016 14:34
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Not a Children posted:The best thing about life is that it lasts forever, so it's okay to spend a few years of it miserable. When I was going through safety training for my current job, there was this old guy who said, exactly "you can put up with anything for 30 years fit an eternity in heaven" in reference to his marriage that had started sucking in year 2. I could only stare in horror at the thought.
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Nov 17, 2016 14:51
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Before he retired at the end of September, my father-in-law traveled to Germany for business several times per year. One of of his last trips he told us about the story about how he was in a tavern and a German guy and a Dutch guy were talking. They were having a disagreement about something. At first it was civil, but seeing as both had a few beers in them, it quickly escalated to raised voices. The dutch guy said something about "I want my bicycle back!" and the German guy FLIPPED OUT. My FIL said he had to be held back by other bar patrons while the dutch guy was all  and eventually the German left, muttering to himself the entire time.Apparently it's a Nazi thing? I can't be assed to look.
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Nov 17, 2016 15:47
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German people can be funny but they just do not understand sarcasm at all they also really like using the n word
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Nov 17, 2016 16:20
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This german guy is quite funny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNNCqAmZzTA&index=2&list=PL2HTCtUu6np9g68qlFx-Vb-u0Km8XJ1DJ
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Nov 17, 2016 16:47
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bad boy in the boy band posted:Before he retired at the end of September, my father-in-law traveled to Germany for business several times per year. One of of his last trips he told us about the story about how he was in a tavern and a German guy and a Dutch guy were talking. They were having a disagreement about something. At first it was civil, but seeing as both had a few beers in them, it quickly escalated to raised voices. The dutch guy said something about "I want my bicycle back!" and the German guy FLIPPED OUT. My FIL said he had to be held back by other bar patrons while the dutch guy was all the nazis took the dutch peoples bikes when they invaded and it made the dutch upset because they really like their god drat bikes
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Nov 17, 2016 18:32
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bad boy in the boy band posted:Before he retired at the end of September, my father-in-law traveled to Germany for business several times per year. One of of his last trips he told us about the story about how he was in a tavern and a German guy and a Dutch guy were talking. They were having a disagreement about something. At first it was civil, but seeing as both had a few beers in them, it quickly escalated to raised voices. The dutch guy said something about "I want my bicycle back!" and the German guy FLIPPED OUT. My FIL said he had to be held back by other bar patrons while the dutch guy was all It's something you'll hear in every Netherlands vs Germany soccer match. When the Germans withdrew from the Netherlands in '44, they did it in a loving hurry and used bicycles to help their retreat. The Dutch are very attached to their bicycles. (The Germans also took all the food, and my grandmother called the winter of '44-'45 "The Tulip Winter" because that's all they had to eat)
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Nov 17, 2016 18:34
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Nice to see they have their priorities straight up there
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Nov 17, 2016 18:45
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I was gonna say, they also took all the Jews but I guess the bicycles are the important part Fun fact, if you go to Amsterdam's Jewish Quarter there's a sign that says (among other things) "this was once a thriving neighborhood". Amsterdam is a Party City but the Holocaust poo poo is a real downer.
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Nov 17, 2016 18:53
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 Netherlands: Offer me money. Germany: Yes! Netherlands: Land, too, promise me that. Germany: All that I have and more. Please... Netherlands: Offer me anything I ask for. Germany: Anything you want... Netherlands: I want my bicycle back, you son of a bitch!
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Nov 17, 2016 19:01
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MA-Horus posted:It's something you'll hear in every Netherlands vs Germany soccer match. When the Germans withdrew from the Netherlands in '44, they did it in a loving hurry and used bicycles to help their retreat. The Dutch are very attached to their bicycles. Really? I learned something new today, wasn't aware of that. Though it explains the popularity of a bicycle model called "Hollandrad" (literally means "Dutch bicycle") over here
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Nov 17, 2016 20:06
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MA-Horus posted:It's something you'll hear in every Netherlands vs Germany soccer match. When the Germans withdrew from the Netherlands in '44, they did it in a loving hurry and used bicycles to help their retreat. The Dutch are very attached to their bicycles. It gets even better when the subject comes up around Germans, because the fact that they took a bunch of bicycles doesn't really hold the same prominence in their cultural memory as, say, the rest of the war. For many, the reason that the Dutch won't shut up about those bikes they want back is a complete mystery.
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Nov 17, 2016 23:21
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Art dude: there are hundreds of art students at your local college campus that will paint that poo poo for you for $50 and a six pack of beer. Congratulations, you've found a lucrative business opportunity and a neat way to appear to be interesting for your coworkers!quote:Years of therapy have given me a sort of bizarre double vision - I am aware enough of myself to see the issues and problems with my current life, but I also feel a stubborn sense of 'I don't want to give up - if you love someone, you stay and you work at it'. I get that this is a naive sort of way of thinking, but I also can't seem to help it. And I guess that makes me stupid, or weak, or damaged. But I also won't deny those labels as well. I am pretty much all of those things and more.
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Nov 17, 2016 23:28
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quote:The cleaning lady at my office pissed me off by parking her Hyundai way over the line and in to my spot one day, so I waited until we had an angry client leave, snuck in to the public restroom we have and took a giant upper-decker, then made her clean it up after blaming it on the angry client. She vomited quote:I'm pretty sure I remember being molested by my mom. I was 7 or 8 and I was sick. I woke up and my mom was touching my butt. I asked her what she was doing and she said checking my temperature. I remember thinking that was a weird way to do it. Rectal thermometers used to be a thing (for babies), actually, they're just not generally used anymore for obvious reasons. I dunno how exactly that translates to checking a kid's temperature by touching their butt, though. It is at the very least super weird. I dunno, you know your mom best, you can decide whether to give her benefit of the doubt on this 
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Nov 17, 2016 23:33
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yeah, checking a rectal temperature is definitely child molestation. You should start a family destroying lawsuit.
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Nov 17, 2016 23:35
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She was just checking your oil dude, you were a quart low.
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Nov 18, 2016 00:17
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How loving dumb can you be to not realize rectal thermometers exist?
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Nov 18, 2016 00:17
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loquacius posted:Rectal thermometers used to be a thing (for babies), actually, they're just not generally used anymore for obvious reasons. I dunno how exactly that translates to checking a kid's temperature by touching their butt, though. It is at the very least super weird. I dunno, you know your mom best, you can decide whether to give her benefit of the doubt on this they are used all the time in medical settings and are far and away the most accurate noninvasive reading of body temperature
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Nov 18, 2016 00:20
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I don't see any mention of an actual thermometer tho
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Nov 18, 2016 00:30
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subhuman filth posted:they are used all the time in medical settings and are far and away the most accurate noninvasive reading of body temperature I think we have different definitions of "noninvasive"
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Nov 18, 2016 00:36
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its less invasive than bladder temperature.
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Nov 18, 2016 00:39
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I've had to get the butt thermometer before as a child. Usually when I had vomiting.
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Nov 18, 2016 00:39
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