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quote:I hate urinals. loving hate them. Who wants to whip dicks out in front of a bunch of slovenly dudes? Does the call of the latrine echo so strongly in the male psyche? Even using them alone, there is splash-back. Unless I stand a yard from the drat thing, I'm getting tiny splashes of urine water all over my clothes. That is gross as gently caress, and has to add to a mans body odor. So I use stalls. Here's my confession from the days before Obamacare. I dunno what one of these confessions has to do with the other, though. I dunno if you know this but you're not supposed to drop even healthy normal poos in the urinals. quote:My best friend was hosed over really bad, he is in prison and he will be for life probably. I wanted to go shoot the guy responsible myself, but i couldnt do it, i was to scared to be locked in myself i was never a tough guy, but he had to die and i knew the guy responsible and after alot of trouble i was able to arrange the hot shot..how do u like the fentanyl u motherfucker?
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 14:51 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:44 |
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So we've got poo bad rear end and assassin bad rear end, quite the mix today
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 14:57 |
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loquacius posted:murder fantasy "haha I can't turn myself in, I did it for my FAMILY!"
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 15:20 |
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Fentanyl laced heroin hit my area, fiends were dropping dead with the spike still in their arms. The hosed up part is that junkies from all over started coming downtown in my city to GET this poo poo. 8 dead that I know of so far. Hopefully more to come.bradzilla posted:
I am the one who poops Harakiri Potter fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Nov 21, 2016 |
# ? Nov 21, 2016 15:37 |
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Mad pooper: you say you couldn't afford to miss work but you are fine with infecting your colleagues. Maybe some of them can't afford to miss work either but now they have to because you're an rear end in a top hat. How about some consideration for those that have compromised immune systems and for whom this can be much more serious? If you're sick stay at home, just like your coworkers do which is why you aren't sick more often. Judge dredd: the first rule of murder club is you don't talk about murder club, so zip it. Also if you could murder the mad pooper that'd be great.
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 15:47 |
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Poop doesn't get you sick, unless you are rubbing your poo poo all over handles, water spouts and toilet paper There are probably easier ways of telling us about your poop fetish, anongoon
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 16:24 |
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The Mad Pooper is the name of my OC Batman villain character, look him up on my DeviantArt page (NSFW)
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 16:28 |
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The Management posted:Mad pooper: you say you couldn't afford to miss work but you are fine with infecting your colleagues. Maybe some of them can't afford to miss work either but now they have to because you're an rear end in a top hat. How about some consideration for those that have compromised immune systems and for whom this can be much more serious? If you're sick stay at home, just like your coworkers do which is why you aren't sick more often. You have only yourself to blame, "The Management".
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 16:35 |
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I still don't exactly get what mad pooper was doing Was he pooping, wiping his butt with the TP, then wiping the toilet seat with the used TP?
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 18:34 |
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CharlestonJew posted:I still don't exactly get what mad pooper was doing I think the problem, in his mind, was that he was using his phone while pooping (without having washed his hands!!!) and then didn't wipe down his phone thus making it Disease Vector Zero but the guy is also germophobic as gently caress (as evidenced by his obsession with microscopic pee particles at the urinal) so I kind of doubt the main issue here was that he had a poopphone, it was more that he was at work while sick
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 18:40 |
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CharlestonJew posted:I still don't exactly get what mad pooper was doing I think he was supposedly wiping the toilets down after use, but knew that people would get his rear end-aids anyway
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 18:40 |
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gently caress I just hold it until I get home like drat
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 20:17 |
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Urinals suck, you can never shake off the pee completely and the name Urinal Cake is very misleading
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# ? Nov 21, 2016 20:21 |
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Text me when there's a poop in the urinal confession
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 02:16 |
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quote:Like most people. I have certain fetishes. They normally do not run my life and are contained to either pornography or fun bedroom activities. However my major fetishes are: quote:I recently moved in to a really bad neighborhood. My company did a massive re-organization and I ended up taking a nearly 25% pay cut and had my office relocated nearly two hours away. It was either that or be laid off with a 1 month severance package, and I chose what I thought was the smarter long term plan. I am currently hunting for another job, so all of this is hopefully temporary. well it's not poop in the urinal
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 03:22 |
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Mother fucker is living the life and he's asking us if he should continue? Bro unless your GF is loving redonky hot then don't be a limp dick and hit up the old bird the ages will even out and you'll probably even die before her anyway!
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 03:32 |
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The trophy husband part made it sound like a fetish thing, but he was already very open about it being like three other fetish things anyway so
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 03:33 |
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I also avoid urinals. The back is too flat to avoid splashback. Urinals should be designed like a funnel but curved down like the direction of the pee stream. A great big ceramic pee throat.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 03:42 |
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Having seen a few dead bodies in the street/alleys I'll tell you its best to just not think about it. Move if you have to, but understand that everywhere in a bad neighborhood has probably had some misfortune happen there.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 03:43 |
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trophy husband is a coward, break things off with someone before it gets worse you gigantic moron e: tell them both you've been lying to them this whole time, actually, I'm sure they'll both be thrilled
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:00 |
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Also it is 2016. Phones dont really "act up" and nobody your age is going to believe neither of the cameras are working on it. Just tell her youre busy instead of using lame excuses nobody is going to believe for long.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:06 |
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Take the old lady and live the good life you loving idiot
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:34 |
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i'm pretty sure poop is not the most common transmission vector for the flu in the office, but i guess it depends on your office, like if you work at a scat porno company or a raw sewage tasting room maybe your risk profile is different
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:40 |
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break off the long distance thing then break your dick off in the sexy old bag
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:45 |
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Wizzle posted:Most offices large enough to have dedicated cleaning staff don't have toilets with tanks. lol this isn't true at all
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:52 |
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spoiler: the goon banging the mature is gonna end up with neither
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 04:52 |
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I wish my username was My Mature Lover.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 06:33 |
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food court bailiff posted:lol this isn't true at all It has been in my experience unless it's a particularly old office Most places with public/work bathrooms seem to be going with the kind where it's just the bowl sticking out of the wall.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 07:39 |
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quote:I started a Fight Club at work. Lots of angry rednecks, including myself, looking for a way to let off aggression after a poo poo show of a day at work. please do not make fight club weird for everyone quote:My neighbor became very vocal during the election, posting about how great Trump was and how we needed to kick out illegals and freeloaders, and how strong women need to vote Trump. She was fired about a year ago from her job, then proceeded to start dating a lawyer and marry him. She still does not work, and I never see him at the house, so I assume he's working long hours. They pay a maid service to clean the house, a pro company to cut the grass, and have a catering company deliver food to their house (I am not bullshitting, this is presumably where all their meals come from since I see that drat truck at least 3 days a week). Yeah I can confirm my mental image of this woman was a 60-year-old
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 19:53 |
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Just shoot her and say that you thought she was on a killing spree These things tend to work out
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 19:55 |
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In college a couple of people I knew started a fight club. It was actually just a ruse to beat the poo poo out of a nerd guy nobody loving liked while masking it as a social event to him. Good times. Also no I didn't partake but thinking back about that guy I should have.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 20:50 |
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We never called it a "fight club" but my friends and I used to box each other all the time. We tried using that as the way to settle simple disputes....but that was a bad idea.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 20:54 |
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fight club was always gay
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 21:05 |
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We always just beat the poo poo out of the first guy to yell worldstar
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 21:22 |
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Sjs00 posted:We always just beat the poo poo out of the first guy to yell worldstar This only counts if he's also filming on his phone vertically.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 21:44 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:We never called it a "fight club" but my friends and I used to box each other all the time. We tried using that as the way to settle simple disputes....but that was a bad idea. I was eating at a Denny's.. I think in Yukon, Oklahoma and these juggalo dudes invited me to their fight club. I had to see it so I followed them over and it was just their parents driveway. They put on football pads and started hitting each other with padded sticks. It was pretty funny. I was laughing and then they started playing with lighter fluid. I left and they were yelling to me come back, come back, we're not done yet. The life of a trucker; I had a dead line and Utah needs string beans.
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 23:25 |
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Harakiri Potter posted:I was eating at a Denny's.. I think in Yukon, Oklahoma and these juggalo dudes invited me to their fight club. I had to see it so I followed them over and it was just their parents driveway. They put on football pads and started hitting each other with padded sticks. It was pretty funny. I was laughing and then they started playing with lighter fluid. I left and they were yelling to me come back, come back, we're not done yet. Bless you trucker goon! Yours are the cowboy of the modern age!
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# ? Nov 22, 2016 23:38 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:Bless you trucker goon! Yours are the cowboy of the modern age!
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# ? Nov 23, 2016 03:06 |
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Among the more extreme consequences of Trump's election is that it's really bringing out the crazies in the confession threadquote:I am following up from a way older confession thread, in which I discovered I was part of an alien/human exchange program. I want to say it was 2 thread iterations ago? Anyway, I discovered evidence buried in my parent's yard that I was an alien child, traded to humans for an Earth baby. This acted as a kind of peace treaty and also led to an exchange of technology, art, and culture. In my last confession I planned to head to the White House in order to meet with Obama and get some kind of payment/income for the years of hardship I endured as a result of this. I am in my late 20s, going bald already, have poor eyesight, and am very bad at social things. Most people call that autism or aspergers, and I even falsely diagnosed myself as having aspergers, but it's really due to my alien lineage. he's like the inverse of Superman I guess he's Bizarro basically quote:I live in a university residence with 4 other guys. We've all got a job that we do to clean/maintain the house. I am in charge of the bathroom. This week we're holding a house meeting that I called to address the fact that the bathroom is constantly covered in piss. Someone pisses all over the floor every single day and nobody will admit to it, so I have called a meeting to get to the bottom of it. I think I read this mystery novel
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# ? Nov 23, 2016 04:03 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:44 |
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anon posted:I live in a university residence with 4 other guys. We've all got a job that we do to clean/maintain the house. I am in charge of the bathroom. This week we're holding a house meeting that I called to address the fact that the bathroom is constantly covered in piss. Someone pisses all over the floor every single day and nobody will admit to it, so I have called a meeting to get to the bottom of it. Y'know, you could just say that the bathroom is dirty, you don't have to actually you know what, nevermind.
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# ? Nov 23, 2016 04:07 |