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orcinus posted:See, if you take a piece of paper, and cover him from the neck down, he suddenly becomes completely realistic and lifelike! Try it! Works for Chris too, you just need a bigger piece of paper....... and cover the head too. e: bunnee anatomy lesson time 
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Nov 23, 2016 07:12
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Fat Shat Sings posted:FAU is painfully unfunny and makes terrible mod decisions, but he accidentally did something good this time. Hi everyone, hope youre all having a light hearted, emotionally balanced day. Just a quick reminder to call or visit your parents and relatives wherever possible, they love and care about you
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Nov 23, 2016 07:15
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Hello! My name is Chris and I’m abandoning our normal write-in-the-third-person format for this special news update. Plus, I think it’s unfair to put “we” on this occasion as it’s pretty much all on me. Yesterday, I that we were getting a fair few views from Reddit. I found that a particular subreddit had linked to the site to dispel the ridiculous image that Derek “Smart” had posted to Twitter. If you’re wondering who Derek “Smart” is then you’re not alone. He was a game maker back in the 90’s, but since he failed to deliver on promises to customers and then got jealous when he saw the guys making Star Citizen were doing well for themselves, he’s kinda just become some little spasm that resides on the internet. Point is, he posted a photoshopped image of our site to push his “I hate Star Citizen” agenda. As the owner of the site I was naturally pretty pissed off. I wrote about it here. I referred to what had happened as “digital rape” – and I stand by that. Since Derek “Smart” doesn’t have a smart thing to say, he deflected the fact he had posted this harmful image (which he calls a meme…) to thousands of people by honing in on the words “digital rape.” Now, I’m sorry if that offends anyone but that’s not what “digital rape” is about. The word rape doesn’t exclusively refer to sexual rape. I’ll refer to https://www.dictionary.com: “an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside.” So, my site was raped. Somebody took what was mine and violated it. It’s as simple as that. If you read that and still have a problem, well, that’s not my problem. It’s been a fun back-and-forth with the man and his hardcore group (maybe five or six cronies? The rest were just really focussed on the word “rape”) but it’s time to get back to normal operations. Since the original incident, Derek “Smart” has since tweeted another photoshopped picture of the site. I won’t bother linking it here because it is the height of pathetic. The man is a sad shell of a human that failed in his endeavors and he now spends his days trawling twitter, abusing anyone who doesn’t agree with the narrative he has created. It’s sad, really, to see a man who obviously has some sort of intellect in his head poo poo it all away by writing “I HATE STAR CITIZEN” all over his website. My advice to anyone who comes across this vile little man is to simply block him and forget he existed. It’s not hard; when I woke up this morning I’d completely forgotten who he was until he started badgering me over Twitter. Now that I’ve blocked him – and good riddance, eh? – I imagine I’ll wake up tomorrow and not remember who he is, and thankfully he won’t be there to remind me. If you’re reading this, Derek, do us all a favour – gently caress off.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:18
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I.N.R.I posted:Hi everyone, hope youre all having a light hearted, emotionally balanced day. Just a quick reminder to call or visit your parents and relatives wherever possible, they love and care about you
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Nov 23, 2016 07:20
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aeRYrT8Zso This is what happens when someone who's never seen it hears "Top Gear isn't about the cars" and takes it literally. Where are the shots of the ships with the voiceover? And the camera wobble and rapid cuts is the exact opposite of what TG/GT do. CIG is probably safe from Amazon based solely on the fact that it's so much worse than the real thing that there will never be any confusion.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:23
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Variable 5 posted:This is what happens when someone who's never seen it hears "Top Gear isn't about the cars" and takes it literally. Where are the shots of the ships with the voiceover? holy crap I just realised Grand Tour is the initials reversed! mind blown
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Nov 23, 2016 07:31
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Star Citizen's development is different from No Man's Sky in a very fundamental way, because the devs have always been very clear about what will be in the final game when it comes to features and scope. If something won't be done, if something is not planned, they will say so. If they don't know if a particular feature will make it in, they will say so. If things change, they will tell us. When the game was first crowdfunded, there were no plans to do full planet maps on release. Planets would just be town landing zones. There would not be ground exploration. The game would basically be space-only. When they got more crowdfunding, they said they would look at maybe having procedural planets. And now... well, now things have changed. Now we are getting full-sized planets that you can land and walk around on. Check out the recent Homestead video, and keep in mind, when watching, that the devs initially told us in extremely firm language that this would NOT be possible to do. Until they managed to do it. And then they let us know. The devs are very transparent when it comes to features and what will or won't be in the game. The chief problem people have with Star Citizen is release dates and delays. This has always been an issue. We were expecting the first part of the single player story campaign to be released this year. It's now very clear this won't happen - but the official website still says '2016'. For the Persistent Universe alpha and other modules, the big patches and new feature rollouts tend to be delayed as well. A lot of people don't like how long the game development has taken. Some are upset about it. If you're going to be skeptical about Star Citizen, this is the biggest reason why. However, others are of the view that... well, this is a massive undertaking and a ridiculously complex game they're building here. This stuff takes time. They've been very up front about exactly why it's complex, and very detailed about the new technological advances they've made in creating the game. They're doing some amazing stuff here if you've got any understanding of programming... I don't, not really, but from what little I grasp, it's mindblowing. No Man's Sky devs were probably way to ambitious in their promises - and never delivered. You have to remember that No Man's Sky just talked about features, features, features, they never gave much in-depth discussion about the tech and development behind those features. It's no surprise, in retrospect, that those features ended up not actually existing. For Star Citizen, a lot of us have reasonable expectations that they will deliver...eventually. Because they HAVE shown us a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff, or talked at length about how they'll achieve X, Y, or Z. For Star Citizen, the issue is more that the devs have historically been too optimistic in estimating how long it will take for them to do a certain thing. A frequent comment from backers is that, in all honesty, the game's initial release estimates were just horribly unrealistic, considering how long it takes for any other studio to develop a typical AAA game. But this is merely a timeline problem. Thus far, the developers have delivered on what they've promised, or have shown us extensive video proving that on their internal builds, a certain function or feature is a real thing, it just hasn't been released to us yet. It's not like No Man's Sky where a lot of the demo stuff... quite clearly, in retrospect, didn't ACTUALLY exist and was just mocked up for show. With all that said... as other people here have pointed out... the stuff that exists for Star Citizen at the moment is still fairly thin. What we have is... not so much a game, but a framework on which the game is being built. It may still be wiser to hold off on spending your money for the moment. The next big milestones we're expecting may give you a better indication of whether to put your faith in this, e.g. the 3.0 patch with actual planets. We're in 2.5 now, 2.6 is next and then 3.0. Multiple star systems are only coming in 4.0, however, and there is no firm date on that although there is a roadmap of planned version releases from now til 4.0.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:31
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I.N.R.I posted:Hi everyone, hope youre all having a light hearted, emotionally balanced day. Just a quick reminder to call or visit your parents and relatives wherever possible, they love and care about you My mom hopes beets probates you.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:31
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Remember this one?Ghostlight posted:
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Nov 23, 2016 07:38
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Fat Shat Sings posted:Just want to point out that multiple times in multiple places people were saying whatever they wanted, and in each case Derek jumped in and they stopped, completely. It's happened a bunch of times. Bootcha left when  ate a week probation. He was sharing poo poo right up till that point and probably weeks/months after making contact with Derek.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:44
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Marching Powder posted:What is wrong with you? This is about me and I'm not reading that. It's good advice and I'd already been doing half of what they suggest re: the thread
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Nov 23, 2016 07:49
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Fargin Icehole posted:Why won't he just come back? So what if he got banned and lost his modding powers because he broke the rules and outed a 35 year old guy pretending to be a 14 year old naive nympho.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:51
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https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/5eapux/the_amount_of_multi_crew_ships_bought_vs_amount/?limit=500 It's been a while since I've seen a thread full of delusional dreams about how the game will work. There's still a lot of citizens believing that multicrew will work. Whereas in any MMO, you almost never group up with strangers. WoW implemented matchmaking for their structured group content (raids, dungeons) in order to allow the average player to ever player the content. That you will advertise in chat for ship crew, and people will be chomping at the bit to join and stare at a shields management control panel for hours is insane. And even if you get a group and no one has to leave unexpectedly, you can bet that it will end up like a game of Spaceteam. Shouting a bunch of commands to each other and loving things up.
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Nov 23, 2016 07:52
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SelenicMartian posted:Remember this one?
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Nov 23, 2016 08:42
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TheAgent posted:I keep my manscaping up to date, thank u v much I don't have to, Enrique handles it for me. Or would if I wasn't such a plebe... SAMIZDATA FOR YOUR IDIOT KING!
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Nov 23, 2016 08:44
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Ghostlight posted:I 'member. 'ee 'u 'n 'e 'verse!
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Nov 23, 2016 08:45
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The Titanic posted:I'd like to suggest a boycott of the Something Awful people from ever playing Star Citizen because they do not deserve the treat of playing BDSSE. I mean, we've talked, and I have seen your nudes, but I don't feel I really KNOW you, and I don't open macro-compatible files from people I don't know. Google Docs it maybe?
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Nov 23, 2016 08:48
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BYOB K posted:MP is the IK we deserve. So wrong, so very VERY wrong. Try maybe more than 3 posts since February before you are one of "we", okay? Cheers. Anyone knows there is only one REAL person for Idiot King... Oh, what? Me? So flattered you would think so.
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Nov 23, 2016 08:53
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lazorexplosion posted:FAU made all the right decisions for the for the Star Citizen Thread; stamping down on doxxing-esque bullshit, being generous and giving Derek a regular ban instead of a perma so he can come back but he has to swallow his pride, putting cool people in charge and listening and not forcing that IK on us. All good things. Yeah, why g0m when there's a better IK RIGHT IN FREAKING FRONT OF YOU?! <types in a different rhythm> Yeah, why g0m? I hear that Samiz chap would be best for YOUR IDIOT KING! EDIT: This message brought to you by the Samizdata to coronate Samizdata. Hi, I am Samizdata and I approve this message. Samizdata fucked around with this message at 09:10 on Nov 23, 2016 |
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Nov 23, 2016 09:05
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BinaryDoubts posted:Maybe the saddest thing about this game is that you can really tell Chris Roberts knows it needs to be better, but lacks the talent or leadership to make it happen. Like, he knows what good sci-fi looks like (which is why he shamelessly rips it off), he knows what good games look like (which is why COD and BF1 are constantly mentioned as comparisons), but he just doesn't have it in him to produce something genuinely good on its own merits. No matter how hard he tries to micromanage his team, they never produce something that's up to his standards, because it all ultimately came from him. Star Citizen is the story of one man trapped in a mocap hell of his own creation, treading water by fleecing nerds, and forever attempting to make his lovely ideas good. The more you tighten your micromanagement Croberts, the more star citizens will slip through your fingers.
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Nov 23, 2016 09:08
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The Titanic posted:Marching Powder is a smart, discerning poster. He does not want poo poo, but instead wants facts and realities. He's grown jaded and bored of the same stream of piss people need to drink from to get by. He wants posts to nail something or somebody down and then move on, or stop until the next genuinely interesting thing happens. Reading this post is going to give him an aneurysm. His resentment and needling can be funny. This thread is six thousand pages and the fact that he keeps doing what he's doing is dedication and reacting defensively makes you more fun to heckle. IMO he should be heckling FAU because dude is reddit as gently caress as I mentioned previously and
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Nov 23, 2016 09:11
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The Titanic posted:At some point he may. Actually, it is not that more exciting (other than Frogbear), but you can go here ( https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.discord&hl=en ) if you like apps, or just rock Discord browser style here ( https://discordapp.com/ ). Since yau didn't ention what model of phone or tablet you has, I went ahead and guessed Android. There, does that help?
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Nov 23, 2016 09:22
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ArfJason posted:I think its a bad idea to doxx people and send them death threats, write there names on walls, and throw objects at theire windows. You should stop doing that. loving dogs is cool and good though.
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Nov 23, 2016 09:22
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BinaryDoubts posted:Maybe the saddest thing about this game is that you can really tell Chris Roberts knows it needs to be better, but lacks the talent or leadership to make it happen. Like, he knows what good sci-fi looks like (which is why he shamelessly rips it off), he knows what good games look like (which is why COD and BF1 are constantly mentioned as comparisons), but he just doesn't have it in him to produce something genuinely good on its own merits. No matter how hard he tries to micromanage his team, they never produce something that's up to his standards, because it all ultimately came from him. Star Citizen is the story of one man trapped in a mocap hell of his own creation, treading water by fleecing nerds, and forever attempting to make his lovely ideas good. This is the sweetest schadenfreude plum. Agent has said Chris is terrified of being laughed at and I believe it. I think it was Gorf or Beer that theorized his obsession with fidelity is out of a hideous fear that he will fail again and be a complete joke and laughing stock. He doesn't have the skills to go from fantasy of success to the real kind. You know the kind where you aren't scamming hosed up lonely nerds with $3000 dreams But he can't fail this time, everything has to be the loving BEST with the MOST GOD drat POLYGONS and beat CoD, Battlefield, GTA and Elite all in the same game. You know that idea his engineers said he couldn't do? He loving did it. Maybe Rockstar can keep up with them. JUST DO IT!! If he slips up for a split second and his belief in this as a billion dollar IP falls apart maybe that suicide prevention jpeg won't only be for the backers.
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Nov 23, 2016 09:39
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When this game comes out we have quantum computers so everything will run fine. That must be his idea also.
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Nov 23, 2016 09:47
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The reason they went with a Clarkson ripoff is that his fans are also willing to overlook a lot of poo poo just so their Idol can do his thing.
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Nov 23, 2016 09:52
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Star Citizen : Not everything is a zero sum.
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Nov 23, 2016 10:24
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Sandweed posted:The reason they went with a Clarkson ripoff is that his fans are also willing to overlook a lot of poo poo just so their Idol can do his thing. They only thing they did wrong was half assing it and not allowing players to actually go to this "virtual event" in game. Sales would've skyrocketed. But I guess not within the realm of possibility that CIG can come up with something as creative as that.
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Nov 23, 2016 10:25
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I.N.R.I posted:Hi everyone, hope youre all having a light hearted, emotionally balanced day. Just a quick reminder to call or visit your parents and relatives wherever possible, they love and care about you Never change 
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Nov 23, 2016 10:53
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Samizdata posted:Yeah, why g0m when there's a better IK RIGHT IN FREAKING FRONT OF YOU?! Make everyone itt except Samizdata Idiot King imo
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Nov 23, 2016 10:56
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The bottom has fallen out of the grey market and ships are being sold with discounts, but moma is still making a profit selling them. Sure buddy. This only makes sense if you're toast and get the jpegs for free.
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Nov 23, 2016 10:58
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ManofManyAliases posted:Sources, Backed down? For fucks sake, it's all made up. Derek POSSIBLY had one low-level guy who leaked some bullshit two years ago, but CIG found out and fired him (and two others connected). Outside of that, it's all a bunch of made up drivel by a failed game dev who tries ever so desperately to remain relevant and in the spotlight. And for what? The dude is in his 50s; he should loving finish already and live his life free and clear of this mess or anything related to space sims altogether. Who the gently caress cares when CIG will deliver a game? People who look at it as a failure won't buy-in and will move on. Others will buy and will either learn a lesson or get lucky. None of that should matter to someone like Derek Smart Phd (non accredited), with the knowledge to create massive and complex MMOs. The only reason why I think you guys tolerated him for 6000 pages was to trawl him this far for your entertainment. Poor sap never understood . . . Who gave Derek's wife an account?
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Nov 23, 2016 10:59
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Orions Lord posted:When this game comes out we have quantum computers so everything will run fine. Sorry, but even a quantum mainframe won't beat 15 - 20 FPS on CIGware. And I am being kind there. EDIT:My lack of proofreading would most certainly not mean that SAMIZDATA is not YOUR best choice for IDIOT KING! Samizdata fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Nov 23, 2016 |
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Nov 23, 2016 11:15
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Honestly, I think Marching Powder works fine as is. The lack of mod or IK status is what completes his charm.
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Nov 23, 2016 11:27
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free marching powder first ban him
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Nov 23, 2016 11:30
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no_recall posted:They only thing they did wrong was half assing it and not allowing players to actually go to this "virtual event" in game. Sales would've skyrocketed. But I guess not within the realm of possibility that CIG can come up with something as creative as that.
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Nov 23, 2016 12:10
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CrazyTolradi posted:I can just imagine Fake-Clarkson flipping in and out of the map, clipping through everything, his limbs distending in ways only the Stimperor could imagine. As someone dances naked atop the violently (and repeatedly) detonating ship in the background.
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Nov 23, 2016 12:22
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D1E posted:loving LOL: I think he has got an intern full time sweeping this thread.
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Nov 23, 2016 12:26
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I thought it was a joke but Derek has actually set up his own forum with hookers and blackjack. He really is the cherry on top of the poo poo sundae that is star citizen. I'd like to thank Crobber for getting him so deeply involved with that 8 hour letter.
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Nov 23, 2016 12:41
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does dereks forum cost $10 to join?
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Nov 23, 2016 12:46
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