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C-SPAN Caller posted:Who has more than 44 oz of piss in them You know, I've never really measured, but there have been occasions where the first thing I do in the morning is pee, and it takes at least a minute or two to be completely empty. One of those "you have to pee so bad it hurts" situations.
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Dec 8, 2016 13:37
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The Management posted:Women have tits and sometimes they need to bend over. And maybe they're acting extra cool about it because they know you can feel them on your greasy nerd body and they're hoping you're not going to make it awkward by expressing the creepy thoughts that they know are in your head.  sometimes my dentist's titty touches my titty and I don't make it weird because she's just doing her job and they've been putting up with my mouth for 20 years
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Dec 8, 2016 13:50
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quote:My parents got divorced when I was 10, then my mom remarried when I was 14. I was an only child and my new step-dad had one daughter, 15, from his previous marriage. quote:I have an admittedly very disgusting ritual I go through about once a month to "clean out" my whole body. I know deep down that this doesn't do anything really, but holy poo poo the placebo effect is amazing. yeah good thing you got all that sweat and cum out of there, lord knows what those natural bodily fluids were doing to your body and a bonus because it's short: quote:After reading the confession about the goon with the itchy crotch I thought that might be my problem but after 2 full tubes of anti-fungal cream it hasn't gone away which I guess means I now need to see a doctor better late than never
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Dec 8, 2016 14:40
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loquacius posted:
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Dec 8, 2016 15:35
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goon
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Lots of crotch rot among goons. Surprising.
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Dec 8, 2016 15:36
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See a cold water bit IS a good part of any hygiene regiment, ty goon.
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Dec 8, 2016 15:50
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lol at neither parent noticing or caring that their step kids were loving
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Dec 8, 2016 15:58
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Why would you use kitchen scissors to get rid of dead skin on your foot? Accident waiting to happen. Buy a pumice rock or something.
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Dec 8, 2016 16:47
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loquacius posted:cleaning ritual goon That guy's future: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSJSWy2o_1I
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Dec 8, 2016 16:53
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If porn is to be believed, all step children are loving. But seriously, it's apparently a very common occurrence for children brought together at an older age to go at it. So step-goon, it's over and you can let it go now. No reason for shame but also stop with the possessive thoughts or whatever. She's not yours to gently caress anymore, she's basically an ex girlfriend that you have to make nice with.
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Dec 8, 2016 17:16
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On average I piss around half a liter. I know this because our plumbing broke a couple of years ago so for a couple of days I used a piss bottle. Normally peeing in a bottle is a pain in the arse, something I quickly found out. The trick is to make a small hole near the top of the bottle to let out air while your dick and the mouth of the receptacle get a secure seal. When not in use just cover the hole with gaffa tape. The reason I know it's half a liter is that it would take three turns to fill it up. After that I would just pour it out the window into some bushes. Since then I've kept a similar bottle in my car but never used it.
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Dec 8, 2016 17:50
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Lodin posted:On average I piss around half a liter. I know this because our plumbing broke a couple of years ago so for a couple of days I used a piss bottle. Normally peeing in a bottle is a pain in the arse, something I quickly found out. The trick is to make a small hole near the top of the bottle to let out air while your dick and the mouth of the receptacle get a secure seal. When not in use just cover the hole with gaffa tape. You should post this in the "What are some lesser known frugal household living tips?"-thread. I'm sure there's at least one goon who would have their water shut off if they could piss more comfortably in a bottle and save the water money for video games.
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Dec 8, 2016 18:00
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Don't those guys just skip the bottle and pee straight out the window? If anything I should sit down and think up a new and better poop sock. That would be useful.
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Dec 8, 2016 18:07
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This reminds me, is there a new bachelor thread?
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Dec 8, 2016 18:28
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i like nice words
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quote:I saw another confession in the thread that prompted me. I too have sleep humping issues. Pages back but I understand your pain. I woke up once with my goon bf's dick in my mouth. I was so confused and scared and nauseous, I immediately ran out of the room and texted my two best friends and told them I woke up to being face raped. I was crying and everything. Turns out I was sleep-making out with him and proceeded to give him oral sex also while asleep. While I'm sure that was fun for him it surely wasn't fun for me. Long story short I don't think I'll be sleeping next to friends or whatever.
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Dec 8, 2016 18:41
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Shayu posted:I do not think you can describe something as "rapey"... It is either rape or not, and if they both consent then it cannot be rape. I think it is also a little sexist to say it would be worse if anon was a woman, but I sort of agree, so I suppose that I would not feel the same if he was a woman, I am a little sexist as well, then. You're wrong
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Dec 8, 2016 21:04
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Docahedron posted:Pages back but I understand your pain. I woke up once with my goon bf's dick in my mouth. I was so confused and scared and nauseous, I immediately ran out of the room and texted my two best friends and told them I woke up to being face raped. I was crying and everything. that's what i'd say too the perfect crime
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Dec 8, 2016 21:25
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Docahedron posted:Pages back but I understand your pain. I woke up once with my goon bf's dick in my mouth. I was so confused and scared and nauseous, I immediately ran out of the room and texted my two best friends and told them I woke up to being face raped. I was crying and everything. Hahahaha yeah that's what I tell my gf too. e:f;b
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Dec 8, 2016 21:28
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More retard fuckers, twin brother incest and no blood cancer dicks, thanks.
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Dec 8, 2016 21:29
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i met someone who's grandparents adopted and they grew up together nad then hosed and i think thats more weird than teens meeting each other and living in close proximity ending up loving if my dentist was pressing her tits against me i didn't notice because she was either drilling or scraping my teeth and i was more focused on the pain
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Dec 8, 2016 22:09
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that Vicks Vapor thing sounds like a good idea no joke
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Dec 8, 2016 22:50
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Jose posted:i met someone who's grandparents adopted and they grew up together nad then hosed and i think thats more weird than teens meeting each other and living in close proximity ending up loving floss your teeth then, god
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Dec 8, 2016 23:30
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Somebody had a whole bunch of things they wanted to sayquote:When I was in kindergarten, I passed a note to the girl sitting in front of me. It said: "You are ugly and no one likes you." I didn't really have a reason to do it other than maybe to see what was going to happen. Well, It made her cry and I got in trouble for it. quote:I beat up a guy while I was pretending to be an army sniper the summer after high school..... for stolen valor. I could tell he wasn't legit, he looked like a loving Mexican admiral, medals from everywhere all over his poo poo. Dude was wearing a mix of camo patterns, too. I'm guessing from context that "stealing valor" means "pretending to be a veteran" or something and that it is a Very Serious Offense among military circles
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Dec 8, 2016 23:36
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I had an army friend whose valor got stolen (his then-wife cheated on him)
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Dec 9, 2016 00:04
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loquacius posted:Somebody had a whole bunch of things they wanted to say that is what it means and if I'm remembering correctly in the US it is an Actual Crime
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Dec 9, 2016 00:21
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Valor theft is no joke. My friend who was a marine came back from Iraq and only had three months to enjoy all his accrued valor but then someone stole it. Dude is totally valorupt now; he lost his house and his job and his wife and lives on the street now, begging for accolades. One day, I swear I will find the man who stole that valor. And I will make him pay back every gallance.
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Dec 9, 2016 00:22
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Our poor troops will never be able to get their epic PvP gear or the special horse if people keep stealing their valor.
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Dec 9, 2016 01:27
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uhh that's what valor insurance is for
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Dec 9, 2016 05:17
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Stolen valor is serious, veterans get up to 30% off on donuts and ersatz retard hotdogs in hick diners all over backwater America. Do you guys think they could do that if every fucko in the country dressed up in camo and stole that discount? Food for thought.
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Dec 9, 2016 05:40
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I want to quote the last 4 posts and just say thank you for them, they are the best.
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Dec 9, 2016 06:29
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Arrhythmia posted:floss your teeth then, god i floss my teeth every day. boring confession i know
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Dec 9, 2016 09:33
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Jose posted:i floss my teeth every day. boring confession i know You are secretly trans, seek therapy and also sever.
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Dec 9, 2016 10:31
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quote:Previous confession from a fellow incel motivated me to submit my own. I'm also incel, but I have a different perspective as I'm a woman. I gotta say, yeah, that does sound like a female incel I hope you and the other incel really do find each other and are insufferable bitter assholes who no one likes together forever  quote:My company recently restructured and I ended up with the same paycheck but a different job title. Starting to slowly discover that I actually no longer have any work to do. This one rings wicked true I've never been on the GOOD side of an arbitrary meaningless corporate retitling based on the whims of visiting consultants -- once, everyone in my department had their title changed from "Software Development Engineer" (which is good) to "Integration Engineer" (which is meaningless bullshit that hiring managers skim right over on your resume) -- but yeah it happens. Don't worry, anon, the only person who's going to evaluate your performance and could decide it doesn't match up with your title is your boss, and I'm guessing they're onboard or it never would have gone through in the first place.
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Dec 9, 2016 14:00
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It reads like that great story of the guy who transferred to some remote branch of his employer and kept getting paid even though he had literally no work to do. Was he a H & S guy maybe? He had to bluff his way through meetings and everything, then the payoff was another guy from another remote outpost getting in touch and he was in exactly the same position.
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Dec 9, 2016 14:12
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Haha yeah no man would be interested in a girl with an eye patch haha... No one would ever find that hot at all, not one single man... Haha how weird would that be? They'd be ostracized like crazy lol... With good reason too haha yep no man would ever admit to being into that LMAO
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Dec 9, 2016 14:15
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I agree that male incels are horrible, oblivious, sexist assholes, and that there's a double standard when it comes to male vs. female attractiveness, butquote:magic fuckin yikes
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Dec 9, 2016 14:21
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yeah I mean it sounds like you're putting a shitload of effort into looking good and gently caress all effort into being in places where people are other than the street. maybe go to a loving meetup, find some other nerds into ~~magic~~ engineer guy, enjoy that gravy train. head down, mouth shut, feet up
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Dec 9, 2016 14:27
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hire a hooker
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Dec 9, 2016 14:33
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Those two incels should gently caress
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Dec 9, 2016 14:41
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| # ? May 10, 2024 03:51 |
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quote:But good luck finding us with your vision set to only detect "10s" and girls who are "bae" and various other garbage.
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Dec 9, 2016 14:56
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