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then you get the fuckers that want to join because no one will touch them with a 10ft pole and they think Hell its Vietnam 1968 or whatever and the army will take anyone and they mention they have a sex charge and you pull them up on the Sex Offender Database and it's their picture and you have to tell them no they can't join though realistically with those kind of qualifications they should probably be considered for a direct commission to o3
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Dec 11, 2016 02:05
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:i was just flipping you poo poo I know.  Hillary Clintons Thong posted:then you get the fuckers that want to join because no one will touch them with a 10ft pole and they think Hell its Vietnam 1968 or whatever and the army will take anyone and they mention they have a sex charge and you pull them up on the Sex Offender Database and it's their picture Some dude in Tacobell gave me a veteran discount. Said he was gonna try the do his part. Mother fucker failed the ASVAB. I say again, he did so bad, infantry didn't even want him and we know how loving stupid they are.
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Dec 11, 2016 02:54
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how do you fail asvab like i was a b/c student in high school and i didnt look at anything beforehand and i scored high enough for medic idk i never had test anxiety and i think with the weight of getting your mos maybe you could feasibly be stressed out enough to do lovely, but it was like 6th or 7th grade poo poo
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Dec 11, 2016 02:59
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Soulex posted:I know. failing asvab was one of hte biggest obstacles I dealt with as a recruiter. imagine for a moment taking some kid at 1600 to take asvab. you get him there and they check in and wait around for them to start the test. you sit around in a parking lot loving around on your phone for 2+ hours and this kid walks out with a 16 or something and you have another hour drive back trhough rush hour traffic and have to pretend they're still good and cool and they just need to study and they are just doing the air drums to REO Speedwagon the whole way back and you just turn off the radio because jesus christ one time some weird model chick wanted to hook up and all and it was weird too probably should have went for it though slamming body
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Dec 11, 2016 02:59
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motherfuckers would walk in and do the practice test in the office and score in the single digits and you're supposed to tell them that if they study they can like do 10x better on their test to get MI or whatever dream job they think they want or they wont join 1sg tells you you're a piece of human garbage no matter what because they didnt join before the end of month
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Dec 11, 2016 03:01
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sergeant when i was a recruiter i would have personally mentored that person to pass the test *spends 5 minutes talking to someone that cant join* sergeant why didn't you tell them to gently caress off because you couuld have made 40000 phone calls in that amount of time????? poo poo TIER SOLDIER
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Dec 11, 2016 03:03
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Everything you do in a recruiting minute to minute is a waste of time according to leadership i spent like 5 minutes telling some kid that as 300 lbs some basic poo poo like: "dude i cant tell you how to diet but maybe cut out on soda and get down to 180 and come back" but if that was during RED TIME (phonecalls) then poo poo I should probably get a UCMJ or maybe stand on the carpet for that for missing my target of phone calls no poo poo that same kid came in a year later at 180 with a bunch of weight loss and hoping hte army would cut his excess skin off but whatever, he joined as an MP i think (lol) not bitter
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Dec 11, 2016 03:06
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i said yo guys i'm not calling parents phone numbers for their kids at 5pm because its 201x and that wont work and started heavily prospecting on social media and probably got like 10 appointments a week, which was unprecedented for my area. BN came down with policies for doing that which totally were gay and army as gently caress so just to be a dick I did those rules and got 0 appointments and quit and just clicked "log attempt" on fake phone calls i'm telling you all USAREC is the most purestrain army bullshit ever. i'd take fighting literal tigers in the jungles of vietnam with an m7 bayonet over that loving recruiting poo poo if I had to do it again.
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Dec 11, 2016 03:10
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Yeah, mixing army and cold sales is a special kind of terrible
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Dec 11, 2016 05:20
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Suntan Boy posted:Yeah, mixing army and cold sales is a special kind of terrible motherfuckers that were recruiting when 20k bonuses for 2 years in 06 were a thing telling me to sell 6 years in the reserve for NOTHING like its a leadership challenge
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Dec 11, 2016 05:22
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:motherfuckers that were recruiting when 20k bonuses for 2 years in 06 were a thing telling me to sell 6 years in the reserve for NOTHING like its a leadership challenge Most of the "leadership challenges" I've heard of had nothing to do with leadership. Like sales goals, in the case of recruitment. Fun anecdote: Every shady near-post dealership I've ever dealt with has been run exclusively by ex-recruiters.
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Dec 11, 2016 08:33
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Suntan Boy posted:Most of the "leadership challenges" I've heard of had nothing to do with leadership. Like sales goals, in the case of recruitment. I wish I'd been a recruiter now just to get in on that racket.
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Dec 11, 2016 10:09
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:how do you fail asvab I went to take the ASVAB with one of the 10 worst hangovers I ever had in my life, and ended up qualifying for "anything." When I told the career counselor I only wanted a two-year enlistment, my options narrowed substantially.
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Dec 12, 2016 02:01
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Cat Army
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bird food bathtub posted:I went in knowing right from the get-go I was going to hit it and quit it. No loving way my family could afford college for even one child, now I'm graduating. I barely graduated high school because I couldn't be bothered to show up half the time. Basically enlisted because I had nothing else better to do.
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Dec 12, 2016 02:04
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I'm curious if I got hosed on my enlistment bonus. I thought I got away with bank when I grabbed a $7,500 enlistment bonus. But there were a few dudes in my basic training that said they got 15k/20K enlistment bonuses.
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Dec 12, 2016 03:55
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Maybe? When I went through in 09, two dudes in my basic both contracted for EOD. One got 6k, the other got 20. The one that got 6 was a bit upset.
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Dec 12, 2016 04:38
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My first enlistment I got no bonus, but three years at the unit I wanted. A friend went same mos, but no duty station and got like 5k. Bonuses sucked in 01/02
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Dec 12, 2016 04:40
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they're first come/first serve and change all the time, like month to month, there are a lot of variables in bonuses that are all done at some higher level you can look at otherwise identical candidates and if one is male, the other female, they'll have different jobs and bonuses. You can call and beg for overrides, but otherwise I think that's how the army tries to get diversity and other quotas without putting it on the individual recruiter. I think the Navy and maybe the USMC will have to search specifically for female enlistments while in the army really the only thing you're missioned with is education level and asvab score (over under 50)
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Dec 12, 2016 04:41
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bulletsponge13 posted:My first enlistment I got no bonus, but three years at the unit I wanted. I renegotiated a $15k bonus on a 6 year EOD contract to $5k for weather when I cross-trained after my range accident and left EOD in 01/02.
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Dec 12, 2016 04:43
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15k signing 10k MOS. Both recouped when I IST'd 
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Dec 12, 2016 04:44
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It felt good to politely decline the retention office's offer that I take a retention bonus in lieu of dropping into the IRR. Speaking of, I should probably go ahead and draft that IRR resignation letter.
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Dec 12, 2016 05:19
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4K MOS and 12k "fast ship" bonus. I was borderline stupid with this money and easily spent 3-4K on food over a few months.
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Dec 12, 2016 06:24
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psydude posted:It felt good to politely decline the retention office's offer that I take a retention bonus in lieu of dropping into the IRR. How much did he offer?
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Dec 12, 2016 06:47
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i got 7.5k and a gi bill kicker that i never used. free tuition at a cc and when i transferred they started the post 9/11 (fun fact vas: i was the first person to turn mine in at our alma mater. Jack and i spent 45 min in his office wondering where the gently caress to send it) idk what i spent mine on. prolly video games left when my parents lost their house in '09
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Dec 12, 2016 07:05
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MightyJoe36 posted:I went to take the ASVAB with one of the 10 worst hangovers I ever had in my life, and ended up qualifying for "anything." I took it hosed up on Demerol and got the same. Pretty sure I drooled on the test. Enlisted as EOD in 2008, was offered 40K, failed out and didn't see a penny. Also, literally signing my DD 214 right now so none of it matters. 
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Dec 12, 2016 17:34
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redneck nazgul posted:I took it hosed up on Demerol and got the same. Pretty sure I drooled on the test. Enlisted as EOD in 2008, was offered 40K, failed out and didn't see a penny. You sense that? The hairs rising on the back of your neck? That's freedom, my dude. Embrace it.
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Dec 12, 2016 17:39
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J.A.B.C. posted:You sense that? The hairs rising on the back of your neck? That's freedom, my dude. Embrace it. Dropping a copy off at Finance so they make sure I get my two months of terminal, then going to sign out on leave and probably blast the Mad Max soundtrack at full blast with the windows down on I-95 while screaming FREEDOM at the top of my lungs.
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Dec 12, 2016 17:43
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:How much did he offer? No idea. He started with "Well you know they're offering retention bonuses right now." And I cut him off before he got into the details.
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Dec 12, 2016 17:59
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My company's retention NCO was showing me the answers he gets to his emails that get sent out asking if people want to re-enlist. They ranged from "No" to "hahahahaha."
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Dec 12, 2016 21:35
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I did Stop Loss myself to reenlist in the Guard to get a 15k tax free bonus, which was pretty baller. Then, because of that deployment (well, in part because of it), I got Medically Retired. So, smdftb? I guess. I don't even care anymore. The real bonus was actually getting to go to war. War ruled.
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Dec 13, 2016 05:27
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bulletsponge13 posted:The real bonus was actually getting to go to war. War ruled. I didn't get to go to war. I went to Iraq. D:
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Dec 13, 2016 05:34
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McNally posted:I didn't get to go to war. D:
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Dec 13, 2016 05:36
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lol well Iraq was at least 10x the war as Afghanistan at least if we go by "amount of dudes hosed up" metric
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Dec 13, 2016 06:27
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Yeah. I don't give a gently caress who gives me poo poo for being on Balad for 15 months straight. That poo poo hosed me up some.
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Dec 13, 2016 09:10
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balad had hella mortar attacks the 2 weeks i was there
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Dec 13, 2016 09:21
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I missed my deployment/reenlistment/separation sweet spot. If I had another 3 months TIS I could have reenlisted for 90k tax free and been medically retired afterwards and kept the cash. I mean I would have wasted it on bullshit but hey it would have been a lot of it.
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Dec 13, 2016 11:52
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Iraq and Afghanistan all depend on location in the country. I was right north of Balad and did clearance from Tampa to the LSA pre-trail blazer units. It was definitely a mix of 95/5 monotony to action. Meanwhile my first time to Afghanistan I was shot at probably every other, to every third day. Iraq was substantially more stressful due to the never knowing when poo poo was going to happen and it being my first deployment. Not to mention my platoon also lost people in Iraq, but my Detachment was relatively unscathed in Afghanistan. In my last Afghan tour, I would forget I was deployed because of the relative safety and amenities at the base I was at. Everything is relative.
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Dec 13, 2016 13:36
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Yeah my first and second Afghanistan deployments were surprisingly close to each other in terms of distance, the main bases were within 25 miles of each other, but it was night and day. 2007-08 was a nightmare shitshow, we were next door to the Korengal (see Restrepo if you haven't!), had two of our bases nearly overrun and lost a lot of guys, and then a year and half later and 40 km down the road we got mortared a couple of times? And not even that well? Definitely a weird YMMV situation.
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Dec 14, 2016 07:48
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My DD-214 has 420:1 for my KDR you wanna talk about seeing some poo poo lemme tell you .....
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Dec 14, 2016 08:47
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 05:13 |
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Greetings from deployment zone. Please enjoy some recordings courtesy of the sound booth on post. https://youtu.be/T763uXxWs2A
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Dec 14, 2016 22:37
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