|
Peanut Girl This happened a bit ago and I didn't want to post it because I wanted to wash my brain of it, but I can't seem to do that and I think maybe posting about it will help. I matched with a cute faced girl on Tantan and we got the Wechats and started talking more. Her English was great and she seemed very pleasant and had none of the weird questions or marriage fever that most of the girls had. She kept wanting to meet outside and have a walk, but I was often busy at those times, or she's busy, and can't make it happen. She lived in a different part of the city and I kept messaging her whenever I was walking by that area and asking if she wanted to hang out. One night she finally says yes, but she's tired from work and doesn't want to have a walk with me and asks if I can just meet her at her house. I had no intention for a plunge, and I was already sweaty and gross, so I accept. The thing about her is that I had seen her face a lot in photos and we did video chat a few times. She had a very cute face and looks good, but I had never seen her body, and her Wechat album didn't have anything except selfies. Normally, in the US, etc., that would be a red flag for a big mama, but this is China and big mamas are not standard (yet). Maybe she's shy, who knows. I go to her building at about 9PM after walking much of the day, and she's standing outside waiting for me. She's wearing flip flops and what looks like a muumuu, and it's covered in food stains. She looks pregnant. Like, she's not so fat, but whatever fat she might have is all centered in her stomach. LMAO, now I understand. Her face is slim and that way she looks normal, but she has a cirrhosis-style belly and chubby legs. Oh well, I'll just talk to her and leave, since we talk pretty well together. Anyway, we talked for a long time and then she suddenly kissed me. We kiss more, start making out. She's not bad at it, but this tummy is really throwing me off. I'm trying to grope her and this belly is getting in the way when we move. My fingers go in and they're working. Her vagina is kind of rigid. It's hard to explain, but it's no so soft as others. I was trying to work the G-spot and the top of her vagina feels like peanut brittle. It's weirding me out, and luckily her face tells me it's too much for her, so I slow down. She asks me to stop, and as I am taking my fingers out, some of that peanut brittle came with it. It really did feel like a peanut. I was holding peanut-sized lump of something in my fingers. All of the lights were off, but I was feeling this peanut in my hands and I seriously felt ill. I tossed whatever it was on the ground and then told her I was tired from walking. As if I couldn't be more disgusted, I rested my hand on her tummy and she laughed and said "Do you like it? It's all poo poo." I told her I had to go because I didn't want to miss the last train. I washed my hands for a few minutes and left. All I could think while walking to the Metro was what the hell was that peanut. I kept shuddering. I was able to get to on one train, but the by the time I arrived at the interchange the other train was finished, so I took a different one and then had to walk back for a while, smoking of those lovely fake cigars to get my mind off things. I told her I missed the last train and had to walk and tried to make it seem like it was a big hassle to go over there at night. Normally it's no big deal, but in Face country, whining gets you a free pass to get out of things. She kept messaging me and I told her I was too busy and I can't see her again because she lives too far away. She accepted. EDIT: God drat it. I didn't want to snipe with this post.
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 10:26
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 17:52 |
|
|
"I look forward to that Chinese movie", said no one outside of China.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 10:48
|
|
|
Haier posted:Is anyone else super stoked on The Great Wall (长城) coming out this week in China? I can't wait to see the laowai save the day. What's weird about it? Isn't it a Chinese movie? Edit: Haier, did she mean she had some sort of poo poo-holding fetish? WTF? mrbotus fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Dec 13, 2016 |
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 11:03
|
|
|
God drat, I think that's the 2nd grossest thing that I read/heard in a long time.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 11:58
|
|
|
Because of you I turned around to read it. Just so wrong. That title undersells it so much I skipped it thinking it was too boring to read. I wish I could go back to a more innocent time.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:08
|
|
|
Haier posted:Peanut Girl Goddamn it why did I have to read this before dinner. What the actual gently caress
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:20
|
|
|
Nooooooooo that was a bad story and I hate it
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:30
|
|
|
That was not something I wanted to read while eating lunch. Goddammit dude, NMS tag that poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:38
|
|
|
The Time Haier Didn't Plunge better than When the Plunger Stuck
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:40
|
|
|
That's highly bizarre. So she was severely constipated in addition to completely never washing her vagina or something?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 12:44
|
|
|
There are no acceptable answers.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 13:01
|
|
|
 edit: 
ladron fucked around with this message at 13:08 on Dec 13, 2016 |
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 13:03
|
|
|
lmao i love haier's stories
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 13:19
|
|
|
quote:I think this is a politically driven toilet vandalism that you guys might be interested in. Can someone explain it a little too?  https://www.reddit.com/r/singapore/comments/5i1eiy/i_think_this_is_a_politically_driven_toilet/
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 14:14
|
|
|
Oh what the gently caress Haier. Dude, take a break. Make some friends and stop hooking up with randos.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 14:26
|
|
|
Glenn Quebec posted:Oh what the gently caress Haier. Dude, take a break. Make some friends and stop hooking up with randos. And let this thread be destroyed by "china good" "actually, china bad"?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 16:06
|
|
|
Dude, peanut brittle pussy fingers is not...I mean, no I don't want this horrendous China good/bad to continue.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 16:40
|
|
|
Make no mistake, China is poo poo and out to kill you in one way or the other, but look to the Japan thread for the alternative. The good places have no stories like that. Talking about it is nice, pleasant and informative and sometimes brings forth a sensible chuckle. The Japan thread is like listening to grandpa talking about his last vacation to Greece or Cabe talking about which restaurant he's been to. And then there's our hero, whose stories give me shellshock on a sexual level. He went to Chinar, so you don't have to. Thank you for your service. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 16:43
|
|
|
I'm mostly just surprised at how DTF all these girls are, at least Chinese culture isn't conservative in that way
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:09
|
|
|
Didn't realize there were people that still read Modest Mao's posts, will wonders ever cease?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:11
|
|
|
JaucheCharly posted:And then there's our hero, whose stories give me shellshock on a sexual level. He went to Chinar, so you don't have to. My feelings exactly. I salute you heros.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:37
|
|
|
So many of your stories follow the same "well I go to meet this girl and I have no intention of anything sexual... *something gross or weird or repulsive that's a huge red flag or a deal breaker* ... anyways I'm about elbow deep in her at this point" Can you just like, not become physically intimate with these people? Do you think you'll hurt their feelings or something? Why do you always keep going through with it, even with people you're repulsed by? I think for most people the story would have been "So I see her, huge pregnant tummy and gross legs. We talk outside briefly and then I make an excuse and go and never talk to her again" or "We chatted for a while inside, she tried to kiss me, I said I wasn't comfortable with that and only wanted to talk. She got a bit offended so I left and never had to cover my hands with disgusting pubic brittle which doesn't make a great story for the internet but at least I didn't nearly throw up."
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:43
|
|
|
Phlegmish posted:I'm mostly just surprised at how DTF all these girls are, at least Chinese culture isn't conservative in that way I mean it's not like Haier is going and picking up random Chinese girls, if these women weren't pretty outgoing already then there wouldn't be Haier stories about them in the first place.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:44
|
|
|
I want this thread to be able to move on from that post because I don't think I can handle another mention of "brittle" of any kind I'm silently screaming in my head thinking of that post now I think I have post traumatic stress disorder How Why No No
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:53
|
|
|
We live in a new and exciting age where women, who have always been down to gently caress but society frowned on it, are finally free to find partners discreetly. I bet the same poo poo goes down in every major city in the world. I guess India is the only exception? But even then I bet they find a way. So it shouldn't surprise anyone that he could do this every day with a different girl in a city that big.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:53
|
|
|
Baronjutter posted:So many of your stories follow the same "well I go to meet this girl and I have no intention of anything sexual... *something gross or weird or repulsive that's a huge red flag or a deal breaker* ... anyways I'm about elbow deep in her at this point" Let's see how to put this: Dude grossed out by something -> acts consequently -> goes home. The End. That's a lame rear end poo poo story. Like leaving the party when you start to feel tipsy. Either it's AO running Haier as a great story joke on all of us, or the dude has the spirit of a 19th century adventurer. And yes, eventually he WILL gently caress a bear and/or get lynched by the locals for a completely asinine reason.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 17:57
|
|
|
Phlegmish posted:I'm mostly just surprised at how DTF all these girls are, at least Chinese culture isn't conservative in that way Nah, Chinese girls are relatively conservative. It's just that Haier's selecting the more desperate to gently caress girls via Tantan.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 18:01
|
|
|
at the end of Zorba, the narrator fucks a local widow and she gets decapitated by the angry townspeople. has that happened yet?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 18:04
|
|
|
The lion isn't out to kill the strongest gnu. Wait, it's the lioness who's doing all the work. Makes you think.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 18:05
|
|
|
For Haier, extra crunchy peanut butter will never taste the same, instead of criticism he sould recieve praise, for bravery is not the absense of fear, is completing a fingerbang even when you are afraid.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 18:08
|
|
|
Thank you for sharing that with us Haier and I hope it helps you get over your negative experience.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 18:54
|
|
|
Your life is peanut brittle right now. You should leave China as soon as posible.
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 20:49
|
|
|
Did it taste like peanut brittle or....?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 21:14
|
|
|
Oh god I had flashbacks to the Tuckermax anal story and the feeling of sand/grit
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 22:23
|
|
|
#1 China produces a loving spot on video about Canada's utter garbage PM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE4qbMVReTM
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 22:43
|
|
|
Jose posted:lmao i love haier's stories
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 22:52
|
|
|
Baronjutter posted:#1 China produces a loving spot on video about Canada's utter garbage PM really good documentary on the current state of sino-canadian relations
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 22:55
|
|
|
what is the most cosmopolitan city in asia tokyo? hong kong?
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 23:45
|
|
|
Fojar38 posted:what is the most cosmopolitan city in asia pyongyang
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 23:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 15, 2024 17:52 |
|
|
Is that poop still in your toilet from last week?! You can flush it down with a bucket of water even if the toilet can't flush normally. Awful app highlights "peanut" for me for all this peanut talk :/
|
|
#
?
Dec 13, 2016 23:53
|
|
