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  • Locked thread
oath2order
Oct 12, 2013

It's MAGIC. I don't have to explain shit!


lotus circle posted:

Turns out everyone is a witch or a demon.

Just wait until Ghoda reveals his true form: The Endless Saucier.

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NachtSieger
Apr 10, 2013


Forgall posted:

And then Battler was a zombie.

No man, he's either witch or demon, haven't you read the post you quoted?

AfroSquirrel
Sep 3, 2011



Since we've already established that magical lightsabers are a thing, will we be seeing Darth Mackerel vs. OBeato Kenobi? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzVBqBosf5w

EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich
I was about to say RIP Gohda and Kumasawa, but then this (wonderful, exciting) bullshit happened. :supaburn:

So, here's something that can be deduced. Kumasawa/Beato the Silver is waiting in a rose garden while it's raining, without an umbrella. That's because she gave the umbrella she had to Maria earlier (plus presumably the eagle-crested envelope). Maria will go back inside and tell everyone of the really nice and cool witch calling themselves Beatrice who gave them the umbrella, and the story goes into order.

What motivation would a magic-is-not-real version of Mackerel Beatrice have for meeting Maria in the rose garden, and giving her both the umbrella and eagle-crested envelope have? We know that she's been with the Ushiromiya family for a long time, but for some reason she doesn't have an eagle crest. This could mean that Kinzo does not care much for her for some reason. Perhaps a personal conflict? Either way, this would mean that Kumasawa is not much of an insider as the other servants are, so she would have to go about taking Kinzo's gold by a different way. She has experience about Kinzo's obsession with the occult, so she pulls an occult-themed challenge that will get the Ushiromiyas to easily take it seriously, because that's just how this family works.

Now, there's the question of why does Kumasawa, the person who is supposedly the actual Beatrice who sets off the demand that Epitaph of the Gold be solved or else, appear amongst the dead along with everyone else? That's because as we're seeing in the LP right now, there are two Beatrices. Kumasawa is one of them, and an unidentified other person is the other one. Two Beatrices, twice the fun, double the mystery.

ADDITIONAL CRACK THEORY: Kumasawa keeps mentioning mackerel around the Ushiromiya family because she's hoping that someone will eventually let something slip that will be a clue about what the hell the sweetfish part of the Epitaph of the Gold is about.

oath2order
Oct 12, 2013

It's MAGIC. I don't have to explain shit!


I will remind you that this scene is taking place at roughly 12:30 at night. The umbrella and letter thing happened more than 6 hours ago. Has Kumasawa been standing outside in the rain that entire time?

On the other hand, Mackerel are the sweetest fish of all.

oath2order fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Dec 13, 2016

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug

EagerSleeper posted:

I was about to say RIP Gohda and Kumasawa, but then this (wonderful, exciting) bullshit happened. :supaburn:

So, here's something that can be deduced. Kumasawa/Beato the Silver is waiting in a rose garden while it's raining, without an umbrella. That's because she gave the umbrella she had to Maria earlier (plus presumably the eagle-crested envelope). Maria will go back inside and tell everyone of the really nice and cool witch calling themselves Beatrice who gave them the umbrella, and the story goes into order.

What motivation would a magic-is-not-real version of Mackerel Beatrice have for meeting Maria in the rose garden, and giving her both the umbrella and eagle-crested envelope have? We know that she's been with the Ushiromiya family for a long time, but for some reason she doesn't have an eagle crest. This could mean that Kinzo does not care much for her for some reason. Perhaps a personal conflict? Either way, this would mean that Kumasawa is not much of an insider as the other servants are, so she would have to go about taking Kinzo's gold by a different way. She has experience about Kinzo's obsession with the occult, so she pulls an occult-themed challenge that will get the Ushiromiyas to easily take it seriously, because that's just how this family works.

Now, there's the question of why does Kumasawa, the person who is supposedly the actual Beatrice who sets off the demand that Epitaph of the Gold be solved or else, appear amongst the dead along with everyone else? That's because as we're seeing in the LP right now, there are two Beatrices. Kumasawa is one of them, and an unidentified other person is the other one. Two Beatrices, twice the fun, double the mystery.

ADDITIONAL CRACK THEORY: Kumasawa keeps mentioning mackerel around the Ushiromiya family because she's hoping that someone will eventually let something slip that will be a clue about what the hell the sweetfish part of the Epitaph of the Gold is about.

My hypothesis is now that Kumasawa is the mistress. :tinfoil:

EagerSleeper
Feb 3, 2010

by R. Guyovich

oath2order posted:

I will remind you that this scene is taking place at roughly 12:30 at night. The umbrella and letter thing happened more than 6 hours ago. Has Kumasawa been standing outside in the rain that entire time?

In addition to being a witch and all-around funny old person, she has been blessed with mackerel powers. She's fine.


Serious answer: She's probably busy setting up the scene where the bodies of six people will be found in the shed, the first twilight. That's why she's outside in the rain during this time.

KataraniSword
Apr 22, 2008

but at least I don't have
a MLP or MSPA avatar.
I am my own man.

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

My hypothesis is now that Kumasawa is the mistress. :tinfoil:

Well, she looks to be about Kinzo's age, so it's a lot less skeevy than what was implied earlier on?

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!
henshin

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

alcharagia posted:

ware wa nani o motomuuuuuuuuuuu~

alcharagia posted:

YAMI WO KIRISAKU OH DESIRE

alcharagia posted:

YAMI WO KIRISAKU OH DESIRE

alcharagia posted:

ushiromiya


bman in 2288
Apr 21, 2010
Question: Beatrice said that there are only 18 people on the island. She's trying to get Battler to infer that the count excludes witches. Problem is, Kumasawa was secretly a witch the whole time (?). Does that count really include her, then, or what?

tiistai
Nov 1, 2012

Solo Melodica
I don't know where you guys are getting this, even the narration says she doesn't look anything like Kumasawa. Clearly they're completely different people.

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug

tiistai posted:

I don't know where you guys are getting this, even the narration says she doesn't look anything like Kumasawa. Clearly they're completely different people.

Say it in red, witch!

Ismene
Apr 26, 2012
Pillbug
Well drat. This is surprising. I wonder just what happened differently for this iteration that had Kumasawa not just silently go along with the witch's game by playing dead?

CottonWolf
Jul 20, 2012

Good ideas generator

KataraniSword posted:

Well, she looks to be about Kinzo's age, so it's a lot less skeevy than what was implied earlier on?

I had wondered what had happened to old Beatrice, but now that they've revealed it, in hindsight it was obvious. She either had to be dead or Kumasawa, she was the only one of the right age. So was that why Kinzo "disliked" her? To hide that she'd been his mistress the whole time? But that doesn't make much sense... Kinzo definitely isn't still with Beatrice ("OH DESIRE", ect), and he doesn't seem like the type to let his former mistress stay on as a servant. Unless, of course, Kinzo doesn't know. She never goes to his room, and the others just refer to her as Kumasawa, maybe he's not aware they're the same person. It does seem like a stretch though.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Or given how delusional he seems at times, he may just flat out not recognized a middle-aged, and then elderly woman as his BEATROICCCCH, refusing to believe that his beloved witch could age and grow old.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you
I should point out that Kumasawa was around when Beatrice died. Rosa was heavily considering going to her for advice on what to do with Beatrice prior to her death.

SardonicTyrant
Feb 26, 2016

BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&



EagerSleeper posted:

We know that she's been with the Ushiromiya family for a long time, but for some reason she doesn't have an eagle crest. This could mean that Kinzo does not care much for her for some reason. Perhaps a personal conflict?
Think back to when young Beatrice was talking to Beato The Silver. If that young Beatrice was the one that died, then Kumasawa was probably supposed to be a caretaker or something along those lines. When Beatrice died, he probably suspected something fishy was going on and stripped her of her rank.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you
Kumasawa was said to be a part time employee. Who quit and came back multiple times over many years. She apparently is not too well regarded cause she is a gossip and kind of lazy.

As a part timer she is likely not allowed to wear the crest.

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
Poor Gohda, he's the only person who's not a secret wizard. :(

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug

Sindai posted:

Poor Gohda, he's the only person who's not a secret wizard. :(

He's a kitchen wizard! :eng101:

CottonWolf
Jul 20, 2012

Good ideas generator

I didn't like Gohda at the start, and while he's still a bit of a dick at times, I'm much more sympathetic to him now. All he cares about is performing his art to the best of his ability! And he keeps getting killed for it, poor guy.

Sindai
Jan 24, 2007
i want to achieve immortality through not dying
Maybe in the fourth (and last I think?) question episode Gohda and Battler will be the last to survive and have wacky buddy adventures while dodging demons.

Bliss Authority
Jul 6, 2011

I'm not saying it was witches

but it was witches

POOL IS CLOSED posted:

He's a kitchen wizard! :eng101:

Cooking, the most ancient and powerful form of alchemy.

Resurgam continues to make good posts.

resurgam40
Jul 22, 2007

Battler, the literal stupidest man on earth. Why are you even here, Battler, why did you come back to this place so you could fuck literally everything up?
Really, I'm just reacting to things as I see them. Speaking of which, today's reaction: :pwn:

This... has a lot of intriguing interpretations looking at it from a mundane perspective, but there are way too many, and all too vague, for me to go into now. They all also hinge on whether Kinzo knew that Kumasawa used to be Beatrice, or she is in disguise. Erg, still too many unknowns here.

But one thing is clear: Kumasawa is a lot more skilled, and involved, then I though. Could she have been involved in the first game? She has a reputation as an incorrigible gossip, so does that mean she's been controlling the mythology of Beatrice in some way, maybe actually dressing up as her from time to time? Was she the one who gave Maria the umbrella, as EagerSleeper hypothesized?

Like Clockwork
Feb 17, 2012

It's only the Final Battle once all the players are ready.

I can definitely see Kumasawa influencing the Beatrice mythos during her time there, and she is in the right place to have given away the umbrella, envelope, and letter... But there are too many unknown factors to say that she is certainly the person playing the role of witch.

Also: what the gently caress Kumasawa is beato the silver whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

curiousCat
Sep 23, 2012

Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?
What the actual gently caress

HiKaizer
Feb 2, 2012

Yes!
I finally understand everything there is to know about axes!
Huh. Well that's a turn of events.

I wonder if each game is the same reality though. I know each time we see new and different things, but if they're alternate realities that makes things more complicated.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?


:siren:Video: Beatrice VS Beatrice:siren:

Just by glaring at each other, they purged all spirits from that space.



"So come, Beatrice. Surrendering my name to you is the only regret I have in life. I will now correct that error by my own hands!"
"*cackle*cackle*cackle*... Tsk, tsk, tsk. You've got it wrong, Teacheer. My only error... was becoming your disciple in the hopes of gaining such a puny level of power, get iiiiiiiit?"
"What are you calling magic? What are you calling the Endless Witch? All you've got is a power that can be gained just by noticing, right? And you act as though that's so great and impressive. Your turn's long over, Teacheeeeeeeeeeeeer!!"



BGM: Fake Red Shoes













"...You poor thing. It seems my disciple is causing you trouble. I apologize."
"Wh-Who the heck are you...? Why did old Kumasawa turn into an attractive lady like this?! I mean, seriously, who are you?! I don't get it! What kind of special effects are these?! My head feels like it's gonna explode!!"
"I am the witch teacher of that child. My old name was Beatrice. When that child succeeded me, I gave up that name, so I have no name of my own."
"Like you've already said, your disciple's been a real pain to me! Please, take responsibility and do something! No, wait!!"
"I don't believe in stuff like this!! As if witches and magic could exist!! I won't accept this messed-up battle! Dammit, what should I believe?!!"



"...*cackle*cackle* I'd expect nothing less from you, Teacher. It seems this is so trivial to you, you don't even feel like opening your eyes...! But I doubt you'll be able to win unless you're prepared to wreck this whole island, seeeeeeee? Come, arise, Shoulder War Towers!!"



And on either side of her shoulders, two massive War Towers sprouted and stabbed into the heavens. They stretched up to 100 merute tall, and each had over 360 ports. They were War Towers of the gods' army corps, which had prevented even groups of ancient heroes from invading their sacred grounds. As Beatrice elegantly floated in the gap between the massive two-headed towers, she looked down on her teacher, sneering with a sense of absolute superiority. With the two massive towers lined up behind her shoulders, the witch looked very small, like a butterfly dancing between huge trees.



Over 720 ports opened on the towers, and godly soldiers readied their multi-shot ballistas.

"Is that the end of your turn?"
"Heh, famous last words!! Blast awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!"



The boorish sound as the bowstrings were played was probably even deeper than that of a reaper swinging its sickle.

"Come, arise, Fallen Tower. Split the single language and let that sin be known."



That massive falling tower and its rubble... sucked in the thousands of ballista shots, so that not one of them approached the body of the witch who had summoned it. That's right, no group of people, no matter how large, could approach the mysteries of heaven. That was the reality of the fallen tower.

"As I'd expect from you, Teacher! If you do something, you always do it big!! Khehhhuhuhuhuhyahyahya!!"
"My turn isn't over. Come, arise, Sons of Ivaldi. Bestow upon me a worthy spear."



...It was too large even for a giant's hand. That divinely beautiful Spear of the Gods was so massive, it gave the illusion that the fallen tower had turned into a spear of the same size. It was a spear of certain victory that none could escape.

"Looks like your twin towers won't help you now. How foolish, to block off your means of escape on both sides. You can't defend against even a single spear!"

When she snapped her fingers in command, the massive tower-sized spear shot at Beatrice like a lightning bolt.

It aimed right for the middle of the center of the Golden Witch's heart with extreme precision, as she danced in the gap between the towers like a butterfly, slicing straight through the air like a flash of lightning.

"Hah!! So, you use Gungnir at a moment like this!! You really are incredible, Teacheeeeeer!!"
"Burst, useless towers! Arise, Giant Soldier Battle Line. Fully block that divine spear with your shields and chests!!"

The Shoulder War Towers exploded in gold. They became several billion gold butterflies. Those butterflies took the shape of seven massive armored soldiers. Each stretched a full 50 merute into the sky, and they lined up in front of Beatrice, protecting their master and holding massive shields that towered like windmills.



Once in the past, when the massive shields these giants held had been readied by the whole regiment, they had protected King Whilhelm's castle not only from arrows, but from the wind and the rain, for when they had faced upwards and held their shields to the heavens, not a single raindrop had gotten through.

"Foolish. The shame of a witch who has forgotten to respect things sacred. Did you think mere giants could defend against a Spear of the Gods?!"
"...Indeed. No matter how much human metal you are armed with, you cannot block a Spear of the Gods. A wonderful Epaulette Mate by Madam."
"No way! Beatrice-sama?!!"
"Of course I haven't forgotten, Teacher! Come arise, disciples of Hephaestus. Bestow upon me a worthy shield!!"

A golden whirlwind arose at the feet of the Giant Soldiers. It was a cloud of countless butterflies. They attached themselves to the massive shields like gold leaf, sparkling like they were a gold mirror.

It was the absolute defensive wall given to a goddess by the chief of the gods. The Aegis Shield.



When the holy spear, which left a dignified tail behind it like a comet, crashed into the mountain range of that gold shield, there was a terrible thunderous roar. It was the creaking of the pillars that held up the heavens. The Divine Spear spun around and around... and was sent flying in the direction of the setting sun.

"Impossible... She defended against the Divine Spear...!!"
"No, that is not correct. The divine spear avoided her. It is the law of the gods that an absolute spear and an absolute shield must never fight one another. Although, in the end, it means the same thing as defending against it."
"...Your skills have improved from engaging in these fights so often."
"Or rather, it seems you're still as bad as ever at this kind of game, Teacher. It's my turn to strike back. I shall follow the code and counter a spear with a spear."

The Giant Soldier Battle Line, which had fully blocked the Divine Spear, released its holy gold shields. The shields fell to the earth, making the ground shake. When they did, another gold whirlwind arose, and the seven gold shields changed their form into seven massive spears of lightning lying on the ground. At once, each of the giants lifted one of their legs high... and firmly stomped on the tips of the handles.



As the earth shook with a thunderous sound, the seven lightning spears spun beautifully and flew up above the Giant Soldiers' heads. They scattered into a golden splash and began to fall before the giants. Each of the giants squared off, and with the force of their whole body, they kicked and smashed them. The broken pieces numbered exactly 30, and became lightning spears of exactly the same size as the originals... Which made 210 for the 7 giants. And all of those burst at once, with each splitting into 30 thorns, for a total of 6,300.

They became a barrage of thunderclouds drawing a beautiful geometric pattern, and then each changed into three bolts of lightning, so that 18,900 thunderbolts shot at the Predecessor Beatrice.

"It's oveeeeer, Beatrice-samaaa!!"
"I would expect nothing less... from Madam."



Beatrice knew immediately that she had been fooled. At that time, from the direction that the sun had supposedly set, she felt the impossible rays of sunlight. A brilliant ray of light shone on her profile. It was the figure of her teacher, holding aloft the Spear of the Gods that had supposedly been repelled a short while ago. She bore a sparkle like the sun on her back and made it shine on the incarnation of darkness.

...As Beatrice watched, she was trapped like a mouse in a cage, cornered in a dead end formed by the Giant Soldier Battle Line. By now, the Predecessor Beatrice had seized a position directly alongside that Line.



"...Have I... exposed my flaaaaank...?!"

Her bold expression hadn't faltered even once, but now it twisted for the first time. And faster than Beatrice could click her tongue, the Predecessor Beatrice released the holy spear. As it leapt through the air, it changed its form once more.





By now it was no longer a spear, but the whirlwind of a massive hammer that raised a sound like a windstorm as it flew through the air. It was the legendary hammer that had shaken even the King of the Frost Giants. So, the Giant Soldiers couldn't escape from that fear. So, regardless of how strongly their master ordered them, they couldn't get in the path of that hammer.

"Back Rank Mate! Rest in peace."
"...drat iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...!!!"

Before the whirlwind of that massive chunk of metal, Beatrice was nothing more than a mere speck. The instant the whirlwind started to suck Beatrice in, she appeared to change into a massive War Tower.

The Iron Hammer smashed the War Tower, scattering tremendous amounts of rubble, but it did not reach she who had escaped behind it. Furthermore, when the smoke started to settle, the War Tower had sucked in the massive Iron Hammer without crumbling, and blocked the way. Even the giant-smashing Iron Hammer couldn't break through the final tower protecting the witch. However, this War Tower was actually the witch's last trump card. It was a War Tower for dodging that could only save her from danger once. But this tower was impregnable. No weapon could break through it.

At that time, the moon disappeared. As Beatrice hid in the shadows of the Giant Soldier Battle Line and the War Tower, she looked up at the sky.



When she did, inside the moon was the figure of a massive horse ridden by the god of war and death. The Predecessor Beatrice rode the horse with him. His cloak had blocked the moon and swallowed it in an eerie shadow. And the Spear of the Gods was in his hand once more...



"*cackle* You got meee..."
"Smothered Mate. It was fun, Beatrice!"
"Uuuooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"



BGM: Black Lilliana

The Giant Soldier Battle Line and the War Tower split up into countless gold butterflies, wrapping the area in a gold-colored storm. Then came the sound of thunder. And the sound of the falling rain and wind. If you looked around, the rose garden was empty.

...The butler and the rest were watching the two witches confronting each other. But Beatrice alone had changed. She had been pierced straight through by the spear, from the base of her neck and her right shoulder to her left buttocks, unable to even reach the ground with her feet, horribly exposed like a pitiful pinned butterfly, tormented by the wind and rain...



"...As expected... a truly fearsome person."
"That settles it, Beatrice."



Beatrice wore a bitter smile of false courage, but a strand of blood dangled from her mouth, making her look even more pitiful.

"The title and power of the Endless Witch. You will return them to me now, along with the name Beatrice. You are too immature to call yourself an Endless Witch."
"...Stop... Forgive me, Teacher... I was just fooling around, okay...?"
"I will take my name back from you. I shall return you to your original form. Perhaps you should relinquish this power which is beyond you... and live a life suitable for yourself. Come, try to remember. What form did you have?"

The Predecessor Beatrice began to recite the words of power. When she did, small gold butterflies gathered near the skewered Beatrice... and began to swarm about her. Like butterflies sucking the nectar out of flowers... They began to suck the magical power out of Beatrice.

And it seemed to cause her intense pain. A cry of anguish issued from Beatrice's mouth. She no longer had any power to resist it...

"Come, try closing your eyes. Try to remember. What form did you have? Come, Beatrice. Repeat it with me. Let us sing a song together. Then it will be over soon. Let us end your pain as fast as possible."
"...Kuhihihi, ha, haha... You're right... How long has it been... since I've sung with you, Teacher...?"
"Come, together now. Come, try to remember. What form did you have?"
"...Come, try to remember. What form did you have...?"

When the two of them began to recite the same song, more and more gold butterflies danced around, swarming around Beatrice...

"...It will be all right, Milady. You will lose your place as my disciple, but that will not change the fact that you are the lady I serve. After that, I shall read a book for you again. I shall bake you apple pies once more. Just like it was long ago... Come, try to remember."



BGM: Mother



When the Predecessor Beatrice looked behind her, there was an eerie hedgehog curled up there. No. It was... herself.

There was another Predecessor Beatrice, whose whole body had been packed with ballista shots, lying there like a pincushion doll...

"...Come, try to remember. What form did you have? Or maybe that's not right."
"...Come, try to remember. How were you killed? Kuhihihii, kuhyahhyahhyahhaaaaaaahh!!"

The Predecessor Beatrice was stunned. Her form gradually began to fade away...

"This is... When... did you...?"



"...It was bad manners of me to say check this late. I simply must apologize. *cackle*cackle*cackle*!"



The hidden towers lurking on either side had bathed her in a windstorm of ballista shots from 720 ports on both sides, pinning and killing her. However, Beatrice hadn't wanted it to be resolved like that. She had wanted to let her teacher take her next move... and had continued acting as though the game was still on. She had immediately revived her with the Endless Power... and had made her continue the game as though nothing had happened...

Then, the Predecessor slowly remembered that she had already been killed... and began to vanish completely.

When she did, the spear that had pierced Beatrice also vanished. Beatrice finally landed on the ground. There wasn't even a trace of a scar.



"See? I did everything you told me to, right...? Didn't you tell me to always put my toys back in their boxes when I'm done playing with them? *cackle*cackle* Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"
"...Was it... an easy victory?"
"You fool, it was a tough one!! If I hadn't tricked her with the four towers, I would've been the one dead! As I'd expect from Teacher... But now I can stand proud."
"...Now, I have completely surpassed Teacher. Ronove, clean up Teacher's remains a bit. I haven't lost my respect for her that much."
"Certainly. Tonight's first twilight became a little too riotous. A little cleanup will be necessary. I shall see to it immediately. Goats, it is time to clean up."



One by one, they wordlessly stood at attention in a line behind Ronove's back.

"This time, what shall be done about the six corpses? Another closed room pattern?"
"...I'm in no mood to think now. I will leave it to you, Ronove. An extraordinary closed room to torment Battler, if you would."
"Certainly. Then it shall be extraordinary."



"...drat iiiiiiiiit... After being shown that screwed up magical storm, what can I deny?!"
"Forget just witches existing! After being shown that tremendous, flashy fantasy, what can I deny now?!! I don't get it anymore! It was like that last time too, but how can I deny these awesome, wonderful magical battles?!"
"Iiisn't that riiight?! After watching this, you can't talk your way out of it, riiiiiiiight??? Okay, Battler, let me hear some ridiculous reasoning, khehhihhyahhyahhya! Ihhiehhiehhyaaahhh!!"
"Milady, your laugh is becoming undignified."
"Oh, my apologies. But that isn't my fault. After all, if Battler tightly closes his eyes, grinds his teeth, and shows me that ever so bitter expression, it just automatically slips out of my mouth, you seeee... Kuhhihihhyahhyahaah!!"
"So, Battler-sama, why don't you return to the table without losing heart? Milady is expecting your counterattack, you see...?"
"Quit messing with me!! How the hell can I make a counterargument?!"
"In the first place, everything was already screwed up when that tower sprouted up out of the earth!! Should I say that, under the ground in Rokkenjima, there's a secret laboratory for building super-alloy combining robots or something, and that pushing a button can make these strange towers sprout up?! Right, and then those huge giants must be the robots, or maybe an evil secret association's mecha-monsters?!"
"I don't get it!! Don't talk to meeeeeeeeeee, gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!"



"If you want, I'll crush the moon and make comets fall like rain! I can even bury the whole island in those bouncy-chested babes you like so much, seeeeeeeeee?? Hihhihhihhihhi!!"
"Come on, come on, look, look, look, my turn's over, seeeeeeeeee?! Show me your response, launch your counterattack!! You can't, can yoooooouuu? Accept that there's a quadrillion things you can't do!! You're useless against this, riiiiiiiiiight? You actually like this kind of fantasy, don't yooooouuu??"
"I get it, that's been going around on the streets lately, hasn't it?! In manga and light novels, in anime and movies! Some teenage brats get a whole bunch of strange special abilities, and they blow up all sorts of stuff with the fate of the world on the line!"
"You love that too, don't you?! I know, don't hide it, you love it, right, hi-hyahhyahhyah!! Hasn't the thing you love just been displayed before your very eyes?"
"Why do you believe it in manga and anime, but you won't believe in meeeeeeeeee??"
"Believe, believe, believe it! You can't argue back, not after you've been shown something like this, riiiiiiiiiiiiight?"
"Look, look, look, answer, you don't need to think, you can just obediently say 'I'm sorry, Beatrice-sama'!"



Aumanor
Nov 9, 2012
Okay, now that poo poo was just silly. Fake Red Shoes is a pretty cool track, though.

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug
Yeah, that fight was very much like a game of pretend one upsmanship between kids. Which isn't that different from how Beato treats meta Battler.

resurgam40
Jul 22, 2007

Battler, the literal stupidest man on earth. Why are you even here, Battler, why did you come back to this place so you could fuck literally everything up?

I... I'm... sorry, Beatrice...sama. I tremble before your power, and will... question it no more. :negative:

...

:what: Is that what you want me to say? Really? A being who can smother an island in breasts needs me to pat it on the head and tell it that I believe in it? Surely, such a being would have made itself known to me from the first opportunity, and if I had resisted, would have commanded that I believe, and it would be done. Click your fingers, and I would submit... so why are you asking? Why waste time leering at me, torturing me, and rubbing my face in my own suffering, when an all powerful being could just make me believe and have done?

Because what you really want is my acknowledgement, of course. Somehow, you've convinced yourself that you are only powerful if I believe in your power, but that's never been how any natural force works. I don't need to believe in electricity for a light to be switched on, or the Bernoulli effect for a plane to fly: they simply do, because those things always work and always have worked- there is no need for prayer, or spells or other such nonsense. So surely, if you had such power, could do such things, you wouldn't need an audience, wouldn't have needed to put on such a song and dance as I saw, such an epic, visual flair over the murder of some helpless old woman in the rose garden. It would just happen, and there would be no need for me to question or believe, instead of wondering why this visual version of The Oldest Game a la The Sandman was necessary.

All this magic, all this wonder... it's just led up to more people being dead, which is no surprise at this point. It has not defied the laws of nature and physics in any way that impresses me. Accept you as a witch, Beatrice? I only accept that you are a liar, a bully, and a cheat, who is probably not even real.

Rune Full Moon
Jun 23, 2005

Jin, did you forget to buy groceries? ... Looks like air for dinner. Again.
*applauds resurgam40 unseen*

KataraniSword
Apr 22, 2008

but at least I don't have
a MLP or MSPA avatar.
I am my own man.

resurgam40 posted:

A being who can smother an island in breasts

:crossarms: I don't think I want to read that Umineko dojin.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!
Haven't you been listening, Resurgam? Witches 'exist!' Beatrice 'exists!' Uu~

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
Pillbug
Beatrice wants worship just like any divine being! :c00lbutt:

Lord Koth
Jan 8, 2012

Really, why would a being such as Beatrice command belief? Far better to slowly, and painfully, drag someone into acceptance of your existence of their own free will. Far more entertaining that way, as mind control is simply boring.

tiistai
Nov 1, 2012

Solo Melodica

EagerSleeper posted:

I do think changing things around to not be so magical was a sensible choice, because based off of episode 2, I was expecting episode 3 to have even more lightsabers, goats, and demon high schoolers. If the author changed things around to counter those expectations, then I have no idea what's going to next now.

Yeah nobody said things were getting less magical

Ismene
Apr 26, 2012
Pillbug
Before we get caught up in denying this magic straight up, perhaps we should consider why the flashy magic shows. Beatrice has already shown that she doesn't need these massive displays to be effective, assuming she was ever was really killing anyone and not simply inviting them to the Golden Land and helping them shed their physical bodies in doing so. I don't think we even saw a single magic sword in the first episode, I mean. Maybe these displays are a bit more necessary as the family's resistance to magic increases? Is Battler truly denying the Ushiromiyas a peaceful eternity in the Golden Land? Does he believe that they don't deserve rest? Or perhaps he just doesn't understand...

Ismene fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Dec 14, 2016

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oath2order
Oct 12, 2013

It's MAGIC. I don't have to explain shit!


resurgam40 posted:

I... I'm... sorry, Beatrice...sama. I tremble before your power, and will... question it no more. :negative:

...

:what: Is that what you want me to say? Really? A being who can smother an island in breasts needs me to pat it on the head and tell it that I believe in it? Surely, such a being would have made itself known to me from the first opportunity, and if I had resisted, would have commanded that I believe, and it would be done. Click your fingers, and I would submit... so why are you asking? Why waste time leering at me, torturing me, and rubbing my face in my own suffering, when an all powerful being could just make me believe and have done?

Because what you really want is my acknowledgement, of course. Somehow, you've convinced yourself that you are only powerful if I believe in your power, but that's never been how any natural force works. I don't need to believe in electricity for a light to be switched on, or the Bernoulli effect for a plane to fly: they simply do, because those things always work and always have worked- there is no need for prayer, or spells or other such nonsense. So surely, if you had such power, could do such things, you wouldn't need an audience, wouldn't have needed to put on such a song and dance as I saw, such an epic, visual flair over the murder of some helpless old woman in the rose garden. It would just happen, and there would be no need for me to question or believe, instead of wondering why this visual version of The Oldest Game a la The Sandman was necessary.

All this magic, all this wonder... it's just led up to more people being dead, which is no surprise at this point. It has not defied the laws of nature and physics in any way that impresses me. Accept you as a witch, Beatrice? I only accept that you are a liar, a bully, and a cheat, who is probably not even real.

quote:

"Why do you believe it in manga and anime, but you won't believe in meeeeeeeeee??"

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