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Rodrigo Diaz posted:Certainly not by that most erogenous of zones, the taint. i sense a new thread title
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Dec 16, 2016 05:42
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The Taint, aka the Glans God Made in Anger.
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Dec 16, 2016 06:00
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I don't know which was more Catholic about my morning: actually forgetting that you're kneeling and not sitting during Mass (my church's kneeling benches are pretty comfy tho) or shooting the poo poo with a bunch of priests at breakfast afterwards and gossiping about other religious orders (“Yeah, their theology is pretty weird“) 
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Dec 16, 2016 08:15
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System Metternich posted:I don't know which was more Catholic about my morning: actually forgetting that you're kneeling and not sitting during Mass (my church's kneeling benches are pretty comfy tho) or shooting the poo poo with a bunch of priests at breakfast afterwards and gossiping about other religious orders (“Yeah, their theology is pretty weird“) My priest said Jesuits are all crazy. But then you learn that they spend (give or take one) sixteen years in the world of academia, so it checks out.
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Dec 16, 2016 15:53
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Can we institute a worldwide ban on decontextualized Bible citations? I've seen several pop up on my Facebook feed over the past week, and it seems to me to be the height of insufferable, insular Christian virtue signaling. it's entirely legitimate to want to share a passage of scripture that's touched you, but holy poo poo at least do your audience the courtesy of writing it out rather than making them do the work of looking it up. It's like the Christian version of posting sad song lyrics after your breakup.
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Dec 16, 2016 20:17
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Bel_Canto posted:Can we institute a worldwide ban on decontextualized Bible citations? I've seen several pop up on my Facebook feed over the past week, and it seems to me to be the height of insufferable, insular Christian virtue signaling. it's entirely legitimate to want to share a passage of scripture that's touched you, but holy poo poo at least do your audience the courtesy of writing it out rather than making them do the work of looking it up. It's like the Christian version of posting sad song lyrics after your breakup.  1 minute with bibledice.com and photoshop
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Dec 16, 2016 20:38
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gaaaah
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Dec 16, 2016 20:39
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Bel_Canto posted:Can we institute a worldwide ban on decontextualized Bible citations? I've seen several pop up on my Facebook feed over the past week, and it seems to me to be the height of insufferable, insular Christian virtue signaling. it's entirely legitimate to want to share a passage of scripture that's touched you, but holy poo poo at least do your audience the courtesy of writing it out rather than making them do the work of looking it up. It's like the Christian version of posting sad song lyrics after your breakup. http://babylonbee.com/news/local-family-inadvertently-prints-imprecatory-psalm-christmas-cards/
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Dec 16, 2016 20:57
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Jedi Knight Luigi posted:http://babylonbee.com/news/local-family-inadvertently-prints-imprecatory-psalm-christmas-cards/ http://babylonbee.com/news/youth-pastor-prepares-message-jesus-real-rogue-one/
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Dec 16, 2016 21:26
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Lmfao this is so true it hurts
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Dec 16, 2016 21:43
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We need to reach a consensus here today, Is Francis Peter the Roman or not
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Dec 16, 2016 21:46
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if not, might he be Literal Gay Satan instead??
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Dec 16, 2016 22:01
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Uh his name is Francis, so obv not. hth. Why, is the world ending? It's cold enough here that I welcome the cleansing of the world by fire.
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Dec 16, 2016 23:33
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Worthleast posted:Uh his name is Francis, so obv not. hth. He is the last numbered guy Not enough pope hat notches on the wall for another
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Dec 16, 2016 23:38
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Worthleast posted:Uh his name is Francis, so obv not. hth. Grandma always said, anyone who's lived through a real winter knows Hell is cold, not flames.
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Dec 16, 2016 23:46
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Bel_Canto posted:Can we institute a worldwide ban on decontextualized Bible citations? I've seen several pop up on my Facebook feed over the past week, and it seems to me to be the height of insufferable, insular Christian virtue signaling. it's entirely legitimate to want to share a passage of scripture that's touched you, but holy poo poo at least do your audience the courtesy of writing it out rather than making them do the work of looking it up. It's like the Christian version of posting sad song lyrics after your breakup. ezekial 23:20 share and type amen if you agree
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Dec 16, 2016 23:52
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The Phlegmatist posted:ezekial 23:20 share and type amen if you agree i haven't looked yet but this is the one about the bears isn't it e: oh donkey dicks, i was close
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Dec 16, 2016 23:53
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The Phlegmatist posted:ezekial 23:20 share and type amen if you agree Take JKL's link about the Christmas card scripture quote gone wrong and substitute this for a Valentine's day card. "Uh, hey babe, I think I mis-typed the Bible verse on the Valentine's Day card I sent you. Please don't be mad?  "
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Dec 16, 2016 23:57
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Christianity Thread II - Ezekiel 23:20: lust for donkey dicks and horse semen
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Dec 17, 2016 00:05
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My favorite, which I posted in the last thread, is how Matthew 4:9 tends to wind up in inspirational Bible quote collections. "All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me." literally Satan
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Dec 17, 2016 00:35
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Smoking Crow posted:He is the last numbered guy My cousin told me that once The world was ending bc the Vatican only has so many places for the pope's hat, they only had enough for all the popes until Christ came back
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Dec 17, 2016 00:39
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Smoking Crow posted:My cousin told me that once Naw they added more circles in St. Paul's while Ben was still reigning.
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Dec 17, 2016 00:58
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Smoking Crow posted:My cousin told me that once The Vaticans builders, apparently time travelling mystics.
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Dec 17, 2016 00:59
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The Phlegmatist posted:My favorite, which I posted in the last thread, is how Matthew 4:9 tends to wind up in inspirational Bible quote collections. "All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me." literally Satan there was a Chick tract that implied Jesus asked "Who but God can forgive sins?"
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Dec 17, 2016 01:19
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Pellisworth posted:AMEN BROTHER Oh, yeah, I should say that the satirical article is based on something that happened before. Matthew 19:6 on a wedding invitation got turned into Matthew 9:6 and nobody caught the error before it went to print. "But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house." welp that marriage looks to be off to a rocky start already.
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Dec 17, 2016 01:33
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Pellisworth posted:Grandma always said, anyone who's lived through a real winter knows Hell is cold, not flames. As anybody who's been touched by real heat knows: what loving difference does it make
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Dec 17, 2016 09:14
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The Phlegmatist posted:My favorite, which I posted in the last thread, is how Matthew 4:9 tends to wind up in inspirational Bible quote collections. "All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me." literally Satan I would feel awkward making fun of this, if for no other reason than because in another life I'd love to use it to suggest that all demands for servitude and submission are of the devil. 
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Dec 17, 2016 18:27
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Nerding out about art history has been interesting. In the Bible, John the Baptist (also sometimes called John the Forerunner by Eastern Orthodox churches since he was the Forerunner of Christ, and John the Baptizer by the Church of Christ because Baptist is a denomination and we can't have that, and also the Mormons teach that he appeared to Joseph Smith in the flesh) is a hard-rear end dude. He's an Essene who lives in the wilderness, eats locusts, wears clothes made out of camel hair, tells everyone to repent and baptizes them in the Jordan. So let's see how this bad mammajamma gets represented in art.  yeahh boy you got that camel hair on ya, and you look kinda sad but I'm sure that's only because the artists knew the horrifying death you'd die  whoa you've been upgraded to Angel of The Desert status, sorry about looking like a twisted crow monster but this is still in the first millennium and people aren't so hot at drawing stuff yet, maybe they'll get it right in the next! let's see what the Renaissance has in store for John the Baptist!  Caravaggio I'm pretty sure this is not Biblically accurate; like that dude ate locusts and stuff but I think he knew how to wear clothes and also he was Jewish.   caravaggio stop The Phlegmatist fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Dec 17, 2016 |
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Dec 17, 2016 19:37
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The Phlegmatist posted:caravaggio stop
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Dec 17, 2016 19:46
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this caravaggio guy can't be that bad right?quote:He had frequent brushes with the police, got into trouble for throwing a plate of cooked artichokes in the face of a waiter in a tavern, and made a hole in the ceiling of his rented studio, so that his huge paintings would fit inside. His landlady sued, so he and a friend pelted her window with stones. 
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Dec 17, 2016 20:12
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It's probably par for the course of a Renaissance artist when nobody can figure out if you died from lead poisoning or syphilis or pneumonia. Occupational hazards, y'know?
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Dec 17, 2016 20:26
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are we sure carvaggio didn't just want to be in a room with a naked boy for hours cause that would make more sense than him being like "yes this is perfect just like john the baptist. toe to tip, this is john the baptist."
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Dec 17, 2016 20:30
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Mo Tzu posted:are we sure carvaggio didn't just want to be in a room with a naked boy for hours cause that would make more sense than him being like "yes this is perfect just like john the baptist. toe to tip, this is john the baptist." if you're going to go down this road, then i think you are required to also provide an interpretation regarding the sheep
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Dec 17, 2016 21:07
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i feel like leaving it unstated is more impactful
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Dec 17, 2016 21:14
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just a naked man lovingly grasping his ram don't even get me started on St. Sebastian
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Dec 17, 2016 21:17
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yeah i'd need to see that john the baptist's id before i called him a man
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Dec 17, 2016 21:22
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Can I ask for you guys's prayers? My husband's anxiety meds stopped working the week before he was fired from a job he hated, and now he's jobhunting, something that always makes him anxious, right before the Xmas holidays when most companies aren't trying to hire. His doctor is prescribing a sub-clinical dose of one SSRI to taper him off the previous SSRI, and won't update the dose until next month for medical reasons. He's running on rims at the moment. Thanks.
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Dec 17, 2016 22:24
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Arsenic Lupin posted:Can I ask for you guys's prayers? My husband's anxiety meds stopped working the week before he was fired from a job he hated, and now he's jobhunting, something that always makes him anxious, right before the Xmas holidays when most companies aren't trying to hire. His doctor is prescribing a sub-clinical dose of one SSRI to taper him off the previous SSRI, and won't update the dose until next month for medical reasons. He's running on rims at the moment. Thanks. St. Dymphyna please pray with us.
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Dec 17, 2016 22:27
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One time at Christian camp they were having kids write bible verse citations on white cards and taking selfies with the hashtag for the camp. I of course, being the noble leader that I am, let my kiddos write the reference for the horse cock verse on their cards and post the photos. When I saw all the photos in a slide show on the jumbo tron I thought for sure we were going to get the boot. No one said anything. TL;DR Episcopalians really don't know their Bibles that well, the jokes are true.
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Dec 17, 2016 23:55
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WerrWaaa posted:One time at Christian camp... Everyone finish this sentence.
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Dec 17, 2016 23:56
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