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Just got back from my office Christmas party; still sober enough to post some 'feshesquote:My girlfriend moved in with me over the summer and recently discovered my hidden drawer full of story notes and plans for a book series I have been writing since I was in high school. She is now discussing moving out and taking some time apart. dedicate book 1 "to my dearest pissbitch" quote:I have a phobia that is extremely embarrassing and impossible to understand and sometimes fear it comes from some childhood trauma I have blocked from memory. The above two confessions were from the same Guerrillamail session. In light of this, and because I have a whole bunch of 'em today, here's a third. quote:I once contacted a hitman and was about 5 minutes away from having him shake my hand and agree to kill my exgirlfriend. That one seems fairly unlikely so I dunno if it counts so y'know what NUMBER FOUR quote:I poo poo my pants during my calculus 4 final in college. Hardest exam of my life and I had drunk 3 cups of coffee and eaten Long John Silver's before class like an idiot. poo poo my britches about 12 minutes in to the test, which was scheduled to take an hour. This certainly one-ups everyone's anxiety-dream stories, yeah
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Dec 16, 2016 04:12
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if she can't handle you at your fetishist she doesn't deserve you at your best
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Dec 16, 2016 04:25
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if the foot bindings dont fit, you must acquit
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Dec 16, 2016 05:34
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Not sure I buy the ex girlfriend contract killing but for those of you planning to murder someone, if you're the most likely person to want your target dead then you are the prime suspect and the cops will figure it out. You probably hosed up somewhere and you probably are not as great at lying under police questioning as you think you are. So maybe find a better way to solve your problem.
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Dec 16, 2016 07:14
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The Management posted:Not sure I buy the ex girlfriend contract killing but for those of you planning to murder someone, if you're the most likely person to want your target dead then you are the prime suspect and the cops will figure it out. You probably hosed up somewhere and you probably are not as great at lying under police questioning as you think you are. So maybe find a better way to solve your problem. How often does the hit man actually turn out to be law enforcement?
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Dec 16, 2016 07:46
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fruit on the bottom posted:How often does the hit man actually turn out to be law enforcement? approximately 110% of the time
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Dec 16, 2016 07:57
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Everytime. I mean if a young/rich hockey player can't even find an actual hitman... https://www.google.com/amp/www.cbc.ca/amp/1.473852?client=safari
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Dec 16, 2016 08:01
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Not surprised, seems like it'd be a fairly consistent honeypot. I just gotta know how these people are making contact with a "hitman" in the first place. Like, do you make a Craigslist ad or what?
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Dec 16, 2016 10:09
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that or whatever silk road knock off is popular people are that dumb
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Dec 16, 2016 10:12
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Wasn't that one of the things that led to that Silk Road guy getting busted (besides his my_crimes.txt)? iirc he tried to hire a couple of hitmen to kill someone, and of course both of the hitmen were actually just feds. Because literally all hitmen on the internet are actually feds.
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Dec 16, 2016 11:01
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Quote-Unquote posted:Wasn't that one of the things that led to that Silk Road guy getting busted (besides his my_crimes.txt)? iirc he tried to hire a couple of hitmen to kill someone, and of course both of the hitmen were actually just feds. Because literally all hitmen on the internet are actually feds. Yes and then one of the cops turned out to be crooked and was arrested shortly after the story broke.
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Dec 16, 2016 12:07
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Atlas Hugged posted:Yes and then one of the cops turned out to be crooked and was arrested shortly after the story broke. A heartwarming story all round.
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Dec 16, 2016 12:29
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Just ask them if they're a cop, they have to tell you
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Dec 16, 2016 12:45
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quote:I'm currently part of the ensemble cast on a relatively popular TV show. Not Walking Dead big, but it's a hell of a good gig and would ensure convention appearances and autograph signings to live on for decades after the show ends. curious how they're gonna write Sam out of Game Of Thrones quote:Hi goons.
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Dec 16, 2016 14:10
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Atlas Hugged posted:Yes and then one of the cops turned out to be crooked and was arrested shortly after the story broke. Ah yes, the legendary CARL MARK FORCE IV.
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Dec 16, 2016 14:26
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Fantasy writer goon: your girlfriend didn't leave you cause she found a bunch of weird notes about Chinese amazons foot fetishes, she left you cause you are trying to write a 14-volume fantasy series which I don't even have to read to know is bad
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Dec 16, 2016 15:20
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loquacius posted:curious how they're gonna write Sam out of Game Of Thrones Carlos Valdes from The Flash. Or maybe someone from Agents of SHIELD.
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Dec 16, 2016 15:30
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:Fantasy writer goon: your girlfriend didn't leave you cause she found a bunch of weird notes about Chinese amazons foot fetishes, she left you cause you are trying to write a 14-volume fantasy series which I don't even have to read to know is bad A guy I used to work with has self published two fantasy novels. I read the first page that he had on his website and it contained two homophones and three grammar errors. If he becomes the next Hugh Howey I will kill myself, because this guy is practically a retard.
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Dec 16, 2016 15:34
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scrubs season six posted:A guy I used to work with has self published two fantasy novels. I read the first page that he had on his website and it contained two homophones and three grammar errors. it's 2016 pls stop with the homophobia
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Dec 16, 2016 15:46
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WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:Fantasy writer goon: your girlfriend didn't leave you cause she found a bunch of weird notes about Chinese amazons foot fetishes, she left you cause you are trying to write a 14-volume fantasy series which I don't even have to read to know is bad Picture like Wheel of Time, but with more lengthy descriptions of beautiful feet
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Dec 16, 2016 15:57
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scrubs season six posted:A guy I used to work with has self published two fantasy novels. I read the first page that he had on his website and it contained two homophones and three grammar errors. The only one I experienced was this guy who workshopped a 30-page story (chapter 1 of his novel) and the whole thing was describing what the main character looked like in an uncomfortable, overly sexual way while bending over backwards to try and frame her as a strong, feminist character and she had a I tried to keep the copy he sent out to the class to take notes on but had to give it back 
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Dec 16, 2016 15:58
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Shoe masturbater, in a normal company you would be fired immediately. Hollywood is not normal. If the show is doing well and you're a reasonably important character they're not going to fire you. They will sit you down for a discussion where you will confess your sins and agree to their demands. You are also going to get screwed in salary negotiations from now on. Everyone cares about keeping a successful thing rolling much more than your freaky shoe loving, and there are much worse things that are overlooked I hope that shoe was worth it.
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Dec 16, 2016 16:16
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mfcrocker posted:A goon, acting like this? Must be a troll man, hoisted by mine own petard
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Dec 16, 2016 16:17
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i hope they do get fired so we know who it was
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Dec 16, 2016 16:17
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loquacius posted:The above two confessions were from the same Guerrillamail session. In light of this, and because I have a whole bunch of 'em today, here's a third. So the same dude who has an irrrational fear of fantasy elements in fiction is also writing a 14 book fantasy series
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Dec 16, 2016 16:40
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timp posted:So the same dude who has an irrrational fear of fantasy elements in fiction is also writing a 14 book fantasy series Of course he's scared of them, they cost him his girlfriend poo poo's traumatic
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Dec 16, 2016 17:17
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drat, a 14-volume series? I really need to up my game, I only have 4 entries planned for my sci-fi YA epic with subtle BDSM overtones
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Dec 16, 2016 19:18
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Why the gently caress can't there be like good one off fantasy books? Every drat thing fantasy is a trilogy or more with only enough interesting things for maybe half a normal book.
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Dec 16, 2016 19:36
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As far as fantasy novels, there's nothing better than The Dragon Diaries series and The Aeon Files series by Selena Drake (Ulillillia's sister's pen name) Also I'm lying they're really bad. quote:...If you were smart, you’d start apologizing right now, before I get Myth on the line. Or would you prefer I send this up the ladder to The Lady herself?” There was a silent pause, and Duncan smirked evilly. “Even better; I can tell her brother, Sin, and let him deal with you.” flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Dec 16, 2016 |
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Dec 16, 2016 19:54
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Solice Kirsk posted:Why the gently caress can't there be like good one off fantasy books? Every drat thing fantasy is a trilogy or more with only enough interesting things for maybe half a normal book.
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Dec 16, 2016 20:13
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SciFiDownBeat posted:my sci-fi YA epic with subtle BDSM overtones get 'em while they're young huh Solice Kirsk posted:Why the gently caress can't there be like good one off fantasy books? Every drat thing fantasy is a trilogy or more with only enough interesting things for maybe half a normal book. Fantasy and sci-fi require a good setting, and I sort of get the impression that it's not worth the effort to set one of those up and only use it for one book Like, if you only write one book you probably only have the time to introduce maybe two seven-foot-tall Asian Amazons with tiny baby feet, and what even would be the point
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Dec 16, 2016 20:51
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Solice Kirsk posted:Why the gently caress can't there be like good one off fantasy books? Every drat thing fantasy is a trilogy or more with only enough interesting things for maybe half a normal book. try Mairelon the Magician or Howl's Moving Castle edit: foot fetish dude with 14 page fantasy novel but who is also afraid of fantasy: your girlfriend found your foot fetish either really loving stupid or really loving creepy but she convinced herself it wasn't that b ad, then she found your 14 volume foot wank fantasy. and before you even attempt to anonymously explain yourself, i'm 10000000000000000000% certain you completely downplayed both the importance of the hosed up feet to the story as well as the amount of sexualization you injected into the concept. just be loving honest with yourself and make a fetlife Radical and BADical! fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Dec 16, 2016 |
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Dec 16, 2016 21:00
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Guys please stop making GBS threads up this thread unless you're George RR Martin and plan on confessing to being a terrible, rip off goony writer.
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Dec 16, 2016 22:27
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quote:I am really in to the cosplay/con scene and enjoy making costumes and the hookup and anonymous sex scene associated with that. Lots of fun times, lots of sex, and no messy relationships or breakfasts in the morning. It says a lot about our society that guys who go to this much effort to have sex with men still bother to find justifications for avoiding the "gay" label quote:33 years old. Never been kissed, let alone the more advanced stuff. Yeah just being attractive won't get you anything, you have to take initiative and also manage to hold your own in social situations. I think that therapy is a great idea.
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Dec 16, 2016 22:41
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loquacius posted:It says a lot about our society that guys who go to this much effort to have sex with men still bother to find justifications for avoiding the "gay" label Seriously  just embrace bisexuality or something dude, this is way too much effort to justify something that really doesn't need to be justified. It's not like crossplay is uncommon
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Dec 16, 2016 23:33
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Do cosplayers just bang like furrys? I don't think that's a thing. I also call bullshit on skintight spandex hiding a tucked or tapped back dick.
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Dec 17, 2016 00:28
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Danaru posted:Seriously In enjoy that he thinks people call him gay because he dresses up as women, not because he likes getting hosed in the butt.
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Dec 17, 2016 00:34
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if you're having sex with men you're bi at least
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Dec 17, 2016 01:32
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Amazonian foot binder man: ancient China wasn't into foot binding, it was more like 11th through 20th century China.
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Dec 17, 2016 01:42
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Bombadilillo posted:Do cosplayers just bang like furrys? I don't think that's a thing. Get a crowd of nerds of any flavor together in an environment that encourages them to not be themselves and there is about a ten thousand percent chance that they are going to bone down.
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Dec 17, 2016 01:52
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