Inzombiac posted:

Get a crowd of nerds of any flavor together in an environment that encourages them to not be themselves and there is about a ten thousand percent chance that they are going to bone down.

Enola Gay-For-Pay posted:

Foot fetish goon, have you ever seen pictures of bound feet? Like, without the bindings?

I can appreciate an attractive lady's feet but that poo poo is gross as hell.

quote:

36.382082, -111.214461

These coordinates were posted in one of the older threads and they lead to nothing but a patch of desert in Arizona. There wasn't much discussion about it and I want to know what people think it was.

I'm posting this anonymously just in case there is a serial killer goon.

quote:

Hey it's dude with gay roommate who is paying my rent in exchange for touching my balls. If the offer is still available I'm all for that closet dude's email to further discuss what I may be expecting with my roommate who is madly in love with me.

Closet dude, it was kinda lovely of you with all the unwarranted touching (hope you learned from that btw) but to blackmail you to come out and the hateful text messages were pretty bad on his end too. Sorry you 2 ended the way you did. I'd like you reach out to you in private because my friendship with Ryan is really important to me and I don't wanna gently caress it up.

But yeah, if you want you can make a new/fake email to not reveal your identity to me. Without giving too much detail away, you're sorta right about me actually not seeing Ryan often. He does kiss me good morning and good night and does most of the gay stuff if we hang out on the weekends. Like if we're watching a movie, he'd lay his head on my belly and occasionally fondle me if he's not on his phone and poo poo like that. We can go over in more detail about my daily unemployed life via email.

I hope you read this. Thanks in advance, closet dude. And thank you OP for the thread. Never thought I'd get relationship advice (especially as unusual as mine) on an anonymous confessions thread of all places haha.

you irl posted:

closet goon and totally-not-gay-roommate goon are going to make a wonderful couple

quote:

I am a closeted trans woman who started transitioning about a year and a half ago by taking hormone replacement therapy and I haven't told anyone. Everyone around me sees a girl when they look at me but my coworkers and family haven't figured it out, somehow, I'm not sure how. I have C cup breasts now and even when I wear loose clothing they kinda stick out and my hair is around my shoulders and my face has completely changed shape. Sometimes they say things like "wow your skin is really nice, like a girl's!" but they somehow can't put it together, somehow, that I look exactly like a woman - that when we go out for group lunches the waitress calls me by female pronouns. Before I got my job I used to run a computer club at my former college and I ran into a former friend inside my office building. They didn't recognize me, but they talked about the club I ran and about me without connecting that I had made that club and it felt like my shadow had detached from my body and danced up a wall. I kinda just want to keep it up to see if people will ever notice how I've changed as an experiment. I think they can't see me because most people think transexuals are drag queens and the idea that you'd just transition without letting other people know just doesn't occur to people?

PS shoutout to the dude who loves the idea of trans women losing their masculinity and getting rock hard at the idea of our dicks shrinking because we take spiro.

quote:

(long and kinda stupid bullying of girls who liked me, I dont blame you if you don't scroll past it)

Back when I was in middle and highschool 1 girl from middle and one from highschool really liked (who were then dubbed "stalkers" by my friends) me and I was pretty mean and sad what I did

First one I was in 8th grade and the girls was names Alyssa. She was a hardcore morman and I was a badass atheist who wore motley crue and guns n roses and loved to skateboard.

She wrote some big paper sized note with a really well drawn rose and confessed her love to me.

She somehow got my phone number and added meon myspace (Im 24 now and turning 25 in February to give an idea when this was if you care) and started texting me constantly and posted to my MySpace thing (I don't remember how it exactly worked but you get the idea)

She tried to hang with me at lunch but my frien and i ds ditched her constantly and told her to stop stalking me

One day my phone was going off so much I told her "diaf" (die in a fire) and later posted it on her wall asking what it meant

She finally got the hint after making fun of her but she still stared me throughout highschool

Later I learned she got raped at some point in late highschool and felt pretty bad about all of it

The second was a girl on my bus ride home in highschoolwho's name I don't even remember, but I do rlknow that she loving smelled awful


It was very obvious when she got on the bus (I live in loving Arizona and the busses didn't have A/C) that it was her and everyone dreaded it

One day I got a note from her with a pretty well drawn teddy bear telling me that I'm cute and asking if I would go on a date with her

But the note gets snatched out of my hand by my giant football playing friends and even they smelled great compared to her and they knew it and began to tease her as well me

Everyone would open windows and spray Axe into the air every time she got on after that as well as tease me about how this how we greeted my Queen of the B.O.

She stopped riding it soon after that

I do feel bad about both of these but being a Cool Dude I couldn't risk not being cool and not teased these 2

quote:

i go around in a skin tight shirt in the winter and no coat

i tell people it's because I'm not affected by the cold but i am, it's loving freezing

i do it because i really like having hard nipples

quote:

Last New Years a friend shot himself at midnight at the party I was at. Everyone was counting down with the ball and right at the end when everyone yelled happy new year he pulled the trigger.
He was depressed for years and was struggling but at that point no one suspected he was suicidal. He posted a Facebook message during the last minute of the year and said he did this because it's like the whole east coast counting down to his death with him. This matched with his personality and sense of humor. Even though I miss my friend I laughed at his "joke" and think he would have wanted it that way.

Harakiri Potter posted:

Nothing like shooting yourself on New Years Eve to lighten things up a little bit. I bet whoever was hosting that party was dying of laughter when they had to clean up the brains, and with all those cops around I'm sure it was a blast.

Vaginal Vagrant posted:

Hey guys maybe cosplay butt sex goon isn't gay. Like you wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) call a transwoman who sexes men gay, but from what he's saying he's temporarily trans.

whiter than a Wilco show posted:

Please ensure you use correct pronouns when supporting rapists.

ianmacdo posted:

That's sort of an interesting question, so this guy is a rapist, but what about secret trans people?
Before or after surgery? Do they stop being rapists?

Vaginal Vagrant posted:

A lot of people are pretty dang oblivious to some obvious stuff.

quote:

Cheating goon here. My wife has no idea ive had at least 4 partners while married and twice that since we have been together. Not to mention the multiple rendezvous with said partners. So no she doesnt know. She is just mad about some random social media and has no idea how deep it goes. Almost half of my female friends ive at least seen naked and a good amount I've had sex with in some way shape or form, and no one has any idea thats what happened. Many of them are good friends today and we get along pretty well with no problems. We even attemded a friends wedding and it was a great time. But if wife is this mad over online connections she feels threatened by, she would lose her poo poo over who watches our kids or helps me with work projects or who is in our local moms group.

I felt kind of bad after the last confession so i made sure i slept with her the other day. At least for the first time in the last 6 months she IS the last person I had slept with. Small steps, small steps.

quote:

My GF and her roommate were feuding over whatever dumb poo poo college age roommates argue about and doing the usual passive aggressive nonsense. This led to me and my girlfriend going into her roommate's room while she was out and loving on her bed, while she pretended to be her roommate saying poo poo along the lines of, "Oh yeah, gently caress this stupid bitch who leaves crusty pots in the sink!"

Torquemada posted:

Reminding me of an Onion side bar "TALK SHOW GUEST HAS SHOCKING SECRET, FIST SIZED ADAM'S APPLE".

loquacius posted:

loquacius posted:

you irl posted:

his sexual partners are loving him through an rear end in a top hat-portal in his latex body suit behind the autograph signing booths at comicon, p sure they know it's not a woman

quote:

"Oh yeah, gently caress this stupid bitch who leaves crusty pots in the sink!"

loquacius posted:

loquacius posted:

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Amazing

Also loquacius stop getting probed you dumb fart

quote:

I live on my own, I cannot work, I mean it, I cannot work. But I do my best in the community with volunteering as far as I am able to. I am part of everything and everyone around me.

And I get help from them. Every month I pick up food from a local food bank to supplement the groceries that I can afford to buy.

I have been trying to eat as healthy and nutritiously as I can, buying a lot of vegetables and healthy proteins. I have cut out dairy and refined carbs. I have begun leaving items behind at the food bank, at first I felt bad about it, but why take something that someone else can have.

They have me listed as having certain allergies, and for a while they watched for it. But not anymore. This is okay, but I leave even more behind.

Today I picked up a special Christmas Basket (actually boxes), and I am very thankful for it, especially since it is the middle of the month. I really stocked up on my healthy food, so I have been okay. Everything is processed. Almost everything. Potatoes, onions, carrots in bulk and clementines. But I don't eat margarine, or bacon, or ham, or cereal, breads, white pasta... It is all so incredibly generous.

This year I emptied my cupboards of all of the processed foods that I had been accumulating from the food bank and donated it to the christmas basket collections. It feels weird, but good to give back and not waste.

Thing is, with this being a holiday.. I don't know. Do I bring it to the Food Bank and give it to them? Do I donate it anonymously? I cannot eat it, but I am grateful for it.

It is not pride, I am very very grateful, and always polite and I do the best with my life that I can. And I appreciate the support so much. People who do give to foodbanks give what they can, and often the cheapest that they can afford.

I don't really know what my point is. Do I have the right, the absolute right to "turn my nose up" at foods that I am given for free? Should I be leaving behind the pounds of pasta and boxes of crackers and sweets? Should I be eating those things... because... I *am* very hungry. Very hungry.

Is it wrong to be health conscious when you don't have much of a choice in what your groceries for the month are going to be? I feel so humbled to be wished a Merry Christmas by people in my community. I feel so warm and happy that people give back.

But I feel like an absolute rear end in a top hat for not eating what they give me and turning around and giving it to someone else.

I don't know what my confession is exactly. I am not bragging about being a good person, I am not complaining really.. am I?

Just.. I guess I need you all to call me a snob. That I shouldn't feel so cheery because I am not going to enjoy what was given to me by the kindness of those around me.


Does anyone want a pack of Kraft Cheeze Slices? And honestly, after being away from carbs and sweets and things, when your pantry and fridge are full of them... well there is a little less control in my thoughts. Maybe berate me for that.

Berate me one way or another. I feel like a bad person.

quote:

So, I'm in a bit of a situation. I have this female friend of mine that I know since about 3 years via mutual friends.

We get along great, can share about stuff amazingly, hang out platonically pretty often, go on platonic dates when neither of us is in a relationship etc etc and even though there is quite a bit of sexual tension sometimes we both agree that a relationship is totally out of the question. In no big part because she is 22 and I am 30, but also because of differences in lifestyle and what we want in the future.

Like I don't want to have kids, do drugs, travel around a lot and am planning to move half a globe away for a few years. She on the other is in a pretty stable situation both financially and mentally (apart from this imo), doesnt drink smoke or do drugs, owns her own home etc and wants nothing more in life then to have a kid and raise it on her own. She's had a couple of very abusive boyfriends (think getting beaten up etc) so she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

So yesterday she asked if I want to give her a baby. The sex wouldn't be the problem because she seriously is a 9/10 but morally believe it's a no-go for obvious reasons. She would make a great mom though!

The thing is I'm not sure if I can help myself if I'm drunk or high and she makes an effort to seduce me, she can be very persuasive.

Tldr; Hot friend wants my baby, I don't want kids. I know I should sever but can't because she us a good friend and I want her to be happy. Also don't trust my horny perverted self when I'm drunk/high.

let it mellow posted:

just get snipped and then "try" to knock her up?

Solice Kirsk posted:

Is this something that you could have a lawyer draw up a contract to excuse you of any involvement moving forward?

Audax posted:

If your dumb rear end wants to pay child support until you're 48 go for it

let it mellow posted:

just get snipped and then "try" to knock her up?