Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

cnut: May 3, 2016

Pon de Bundy posted:

so china is a smelly shithole where everybody is retarded and thinks taiwan belongs to them? why hasnt trump nuked them already...?

He's not in office yet :ohdear:

Page 188 snypa, so lucky.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:13

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# ? May 22, 2024 11:33

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Oberleutnant posted:

If's been uears since i ran (or followed running) seriously but it's far more specific than that. They're all Kenyan, and nobody's exacy certain why Kentans are mad good, but theories tend to revolve around living at high altitude.

the truth is they're dirty as gently caress, just like every other world class ~~distance~~ athlete

the truth is that running is a big deal as a sport in some countries and so they produce really good runners hth

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:13

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Haier posted:

I'm the 999.

And this was posted on reddit, saying it was in Shandong.

I'm the 7 in the NW corner of the map. Either that detector is broken, or it's in a mineshaft with air from the 1300s.

Haier posted:

China lost face yet again at the Shenzhen International Marathon

The comments are something about genes and race being a factor here.

Sales of AFRICAN SUPERMAN boner pills have gone through the roof lately.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:14

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

LentThem posted:

The kid is still young enough that he's going to be heavily indoctrinated in Face Culture by classmates/neighbors/relatives/etc (rather than just his parents in Canada) and at that point there's no saving him.

Besides the crap education and everything else, having 8-9 years of Face pounded into his every mannerism and choice is going to be permanent. It's not like he's just some Russian kid in the international school and nobody expects him to belong. His parents are both originally from China and he looks like everyone else and speaks the language. He's done for.

Also, it must suck to be that age and suddenly be forced into learning characters to do anything in school when you've spent five days a week for at least five years learning a different writing system and now it's useless except for that one-hour block in the afternoons.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:15

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:18

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Fojar38 posted:

the truth is that running is a big deal as a sport in some countries and so they produce really good runners hth

while true kenya has russia levels of state doping

# ? Dec 19, 2016 09:31

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Fojar38 posted:

the truth is that running is a big deal as a sport in some countries and so they produce really good runners hth

They're doping mate

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:20

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

the ones in the shanghai marathon are 100% doping and probably a decent number of local athletes as well

olympians and whatnot though are mostly legit iirc

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:28

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

Haier posted:

If the other ones that died all tried TCM cures, it makes it even more ridiculous, but now I can't bring it up and ask because he doesn't want to discuss it.

Maybe you can prod her into reading a few things on guo ke? It's like the Chinese version of Snopes where people try to dispel common myths. This post might help.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:31

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Fojar38 posted:

the ones in the shanghai marathon are 100% doping and probably a decent number of local athletes as well

olympians and whatnot though are mostly legit iirc

lol no

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:37

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Fojar38 posted:

the ones in the shanghai marathon are 100% doping and probably a decent number of local athletes as well

olympians and whatnot though are mostly legit iirc

Lol come on mate. Mo Farah and Galen Rupp are both tainted by Salazar, who's a dirty motherfucker and everybody knows he's doping his athletes with the help of Hamza Driouch. The Jamaican anti-doping agency is laughable and there have been rumours swirling around Usain Bolt for years now. It's roids all the way down.

communism bitch fucked around with this message at 10:48 on Dec 19, 2016

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:46

Osama Dozen-Dongs: Nov 29, 2014

Oberleutnant posted:

They're doping mate

Literally every olympian is doping, they've got to do something in addition if they want to beat all the other dopers.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 10:47

THE PWNER: Sep 7, 2006; by merry exmarx

Oberleutnant posted:

They're doping mate

so's everyone else so its still fair

# ? Dec 19, 2016 11:27

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

A fool and his money are soon parted with. Why spend those tens of millions of dollars on actually improving quality of life for your citizens when you can instead try (and fail) to give them an empty feeling of pride because their nation is a "football power?"

When the highly paid foreigner on the team is the one that does all the work, do the Chinese still count it as their own victory?

mrbotus fucked around with this message at 12:02 on Dec 19, 2016

# ? Dec 19, 2016 11:55

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

The Olympics is a celebration of graft and performance-enhancing drugs.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 12:06

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I can't believe this is a thing. China drat sure has good lungs(Ha!) for all the autistic screaming it does and for that length of time.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2016/12/19/six-years-china-ends-diplomatic-freeze-norway-nobel-peace-prize-row/

quote:

Norway and China announced Monday the resumption of diplomatic relations, six years after Beijing froze ties with Oslo over the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to a Chinese dissident. The Nobel Peace Prize in October 2010 to human rights activist Liu Xiaobo � imprisoned in his own country by authorities who consider him a �criminal� � had angered the Chinese regime so much that it suspended its ties with Norway.

Norway and China announced Monday the resumption of diplomatic relations, six years after Beijing froze ties with Oslo over the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to a Chinese dissident.

The Nobel Peace Prize in October 2010 to human rights activist Liu Xiaobo � imprisoned in his own country by authorities who consider him a �criminal� � had angered the Chinese regime so much that it suspended its ties with Norway. A seat for Liu Xiaobo was left empty during the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize ceremony. Photo: Nobelprize.org.

During a surprise visit to Beijing by Norwegian Foreign Minister Borge Brende on Monday, the two nations issued a joint declaration announcing the thaw in their ties.

�The Norwegian government reiterates its commitment to the one-China policy, fully respects China�s sovereignty and territorial integrity, attaches high importance to China�s core interests and major concerns, will not support actions that undermine them, and will do its best to avoid any future damage to the bilateral relations,� the statement said.

Human rights issues were not mentioned in the two-page document.

�We haven�t made any concessions but we have engaged in confidence-building work over a long period of time,� Prime Minister Erna Solberg told reporters in Oslo.

According to Norwegian media, China had demanded an official apology in order to restore ties, but Norway�s government repeatedly refused, insisting that the Nobel Committee was an independent body free to make its own choices.�The situation since 2010 has been difficult,� Brende said in a press statement issued in Oslo.

�The normalisation of our relationship is the result of long and painstaking diplomatic efforts at many levels to restore trust between our two countries,� he said.

The announcement means talks can now resume on a free trade pact between Norway, rich in raw materials, and China, the world�s second-biggest economy.

The talks were frozen following the Nobel brouhaha.

�There is no doubt that the Norwegian economy has suffered,� Solberg said.

�Even if our trade with China has not decreased, we have not been part of the enormous upswing from China in the same way many other countries have,� she said.

Salmon exports to China, one of Norway�s biggest export items, suffered as a result of the row, dealing a heavy blow to the industry. On Monday, stocks of salmon producers were up on the Oslo stock exchange. The resumption of bilateral relations was however not raised at a press briefing at China�s foreign ministry on Monday.

Face saved.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 12:27

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

# ? Dec 19, 2016 12:38

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Yay I reported THE PWNER and he got banned.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 13:12

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

I just wanted to mention that the Peanut Brittle could have been some left over uterine lining from her last period that didnt manage to escape some how or something. its my only guess
or maybe dried up toilet paper but howd that get in there

tell her to drink water and get hydrated like you told that other one and to stop being so fat

thank you for your time and for letting me bring that up again to hear the sound of a thousand goons gagging

# ? Dec 19, 2016 13:13

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I don't think he is stupid enough to go back.

Also gross. Do I have to remind everyone there is no reason to solve this mystery. *gag*

# ? Dec 19, 2016 13:16

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Yay I reported THE PWNER and he got banned.

Doing God's work.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 13:38

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Rooney might also remember Manchester United�s pre-season friendly against FC Shenzhen in Macau in 2007 and what came out, four years later, about the referee taking 100,000 Hong Kong dollars (roughly �8,000) to fix the coin toss. Yet the key detail is what a climb-down it would be, football-wise, for someone whose career has been spent at the high end of the Premier League. The money is sensational but, to remember the old Rodriguez song, a monkey in silk is still a monkey.

You should have also bolded the "monkey in silk" part because,, well

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Dec 19, 2016 14:16

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Yay I reported THE PWNER and he got banned.

I will greatly miss his "Can't see the forest for the trees" reading comprehension, and the "I'm a second-year university student and I sat at the cafeteria table with Chinese people that one time, so now I am an expert on China" attitude. Also his gimmick of suddenly hating Americans in every thread.

Drunk & Ugly posted:

I just wanted to mention that the Peanut Brittle could have been some left over uterine lining from her last period that didnt manage to escape some how or something. its my only guess
or maybe dried up toilet paper but howd that get in there

tell her to drink water and get hydrated like you told that other one and to stop being so fat

thank you for your time and for letting me bring that up again to hear the sound of a thousand goons gagging

This could all be possible, but it's too late. Never going back there. I haven't deleted her yet and she asks me why I stopped talking to her lately and I just say "WORK" even though we both know it's midnight and neither of us are at work.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

�400,000 a week

If I was in the sunset years of my career and worried about not already having enough millions, I would gladly trade my dignity for a 1-2 year contract in his dump for 400k quid per week. I could import all the baked beans I wanted and run a train on thousands of Vivians.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 14:36

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

caberham posted:

http://www.squarefoot.com.hk/haunted/

Look for the next best deal!

What discount do you get?

# ? Dec 19, 2016 15:54

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Tianjin this past weekend

Did you know that China leads the world in green energy? The western media is just trying to stop China's inevitable rise! The pollution is not that bad! You're probably just a self loathing racist who could never cut it anywhere else! China has 5,000 years of history, do you dare to question how it runs?

# ? Dec 19, 2016 16:10

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

Blue Star Error posted:

What discount do you get?

Normally rent is 1/3 off. But I'm hoping for a Shenzhen version soon when I read Haier's post :henget:

# ? Dec 19, 2016 16:14

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

caberham posted:

Normally rent is 1/3 off. But I'm hoping for a Shenzhen version soon when I read Haier's post

Mental. Why would anyone not go for that? Like even if you're a retard that fools yourself into thinking there are really ghosts, worst case scenario, you have to move house.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 16:23

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

caberham posted:

http://www.squarefoot.com.hk/haunted/

Look for the next best deal!

I like how most of them are people that fell or jumped, and somehow that means the building is ruined? How does that work?
It reminds of me of Poop Girl, who had a kid fall/jump off floor 20 or something and died and ole Poopy moved away from the building despite owning the apartment, because she was afraid of the kid's ghost. The night it happened she didn't sleep at all because she stayed up with the lights on just in case the ghost showed up to... I don't know, look at her or something.

"3-month-old Indian boy was found unconscious and was pronounced dead upon arrival at hospital"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqaYX0qKkGg

EDIT:

LMAO

quote:

2016 09-28 Sheung Shui Hang Tau Tsuen
60-year-old man died in accidental fire when attempting to fend off mosquito with fire in bathroom

EDIT2:

quote:

95-year-old man hanged himself with nylon rope inside apartment

You live until 95 and then go out like this? WTF

Haier fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Dec 19, 2016

# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:10

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

So what I'm trying to say is : Have you been to a Chinese funeral?

Apparently in the news, 2 funeral companies were fighting each other at the hospital room in front of the person who's about to die. Fun times :china:

# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:34

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

Craziest entry:

Middle aged lady suffering from cancer hanged herself with shoe laces

# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:35

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

caberham posted:

Craziest entry:

Middle aged lady suffering from cancer hanged herself with shoe laces

Talk about traditional chinese medicine

i think the best was "The man fell from his height and died"
he was very tall

# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:42

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Lots of people fall from their height and die, specially if they're old

# ? Dec 19, 2016 17:43

Xelkelvos: Dec 19, 2012

For what it's worth, people in the US generally aren't keen on living in a residence where someone died unless it was a very long time ago.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:21

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Knock a few hundo off my rent and I'll sleep on the spot the guy got axe murdered and the killer hasn't been found.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:38

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

China's got the whole ghost game thing on lock. Like, these guys have ghost stories and ghost rules that put the west to shame. Hungry dead? Angry ancestors? Hell money? That poo poo is tight.

I can't stand any of it in practice, but on paper it's amazing stuff.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:41

Modest Mao: Feb 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

caberham posted:

China is part of Taiwan.

Stop talking to wumao

There is only one china and Tsai Ingwen is her president. Mongolia and CCP are rebellious states.

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:43

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Like I find it honestly both really cool and super lame that for a ton of people ghosts/demons lurk around every corner and locked door to the unused room at the end of the hall.

I went to a hotel once and asked for a room, and they showed me to it, and it was at the end of a hall so the dude like, knocked and yelled before opening it and refused to set foot even in it. Room was superb. Good rate too.

Then they told me they wouldn't let it to me because I was a foreigner. Why bother showing me the room? Do laowai scare off ghosts?

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:46

Modest Mao: Feb 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Taiwan is china

have you ever been to Taiwan?
:china:

oh, well I lived there for several years. If you went there or had friends from there you'd see its a different place...
:china:

Well, you've never been to China, you cannot understand our history.

I thought Taiwan was China but now I've never been to China?

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:47

Modest Mao: Feb 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

: I'm a student living in America I hope I can stay here in never go back to China's pollution and corrupt politics

also :china:

: Taiwanese must be forced to join China and submit to CCP authority

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:48

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# ? May 22, 2024 11:33

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Ceciltron posted:

Like I find it honestly both really cool and super lame that for a ton of people ghosts/demons lurk around every corner and locked door to the unused room at the end of the hall.

I went to a hotel once and asked for a room, and they showed me to it, and it was at the end of a hall so the dude like, knocked and yelled before opening it and refused to set foot even in it. Room was superb. Good rate too.

Then they told me they wouldn't let it to me because I was a foreigner. Why bother showing me the room? Do laowai scare off ghosts?

I've got a business idea. Ghosts don't like the smell of cheese and beer. They're also quite afraid of Teddy Roosevelt-style thundering laughs.

Should be possible to make a shitload with western style exorcisms. Make some references to german cars and quality, tell them your exorcisms are german and have been tested and approved by the holy inquisition. Put beer in your mouth and spray it all over the place while yelling. Loud german marching music should be playing while you're performing. You need to wield some old book and a wooden mallet, preferably with some grime on it. When they ask what it is for, you tell them that it's the HEXENHAMMER. It would be appropriate to wear a necklace with an oversized image of Kaiser Wilhelm II, sort of like the watches that Flavor Flav wears.

quote:

2016 09-28 Sheung Shui Hang Tau Tsuen
60-year-old man died in accidental fire when attempting to fend off mosquito with fire in bathroom

Did it work though?

Power Khan fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Dec 19, 2016

# ? Dec 19, 2016 18:56

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