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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Hipsters in a climate where it can get to 40°C for weeks at a time is loving hilarious.


Lumberjack-hobo chíc doesn't do much to protect from heat stroke or sweating like a waterfall.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 08:36 on Dec 21, 2016

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Phlegmish posted:

The idea of an australian hipster doesn't really compute

Australia is extremely hipster prone

exmachina
Mar 12, 2006

Look Closer
Australia: Melbourne::texas:Austin

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
They were into (*hurriedly shuffles through notes*)... putting brown people into camps before it was cool

Dicky mouse
Apr 11, 2008

"No No Not like that....Thats just silly"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r41dcYUvNLk

The lack of PPE bothers me

mrbotus
Apr 7, 2009

Patron of the Pants

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

I arrived in Australia when I was 18. I was originally from central China, and then I moved to Shanghai. My first impression was "there are a lot of obese people." Like really, really big. I didn't really know what was going on. I guess the standards are different, skinny back home means very skinny.

Another thing, here there are a lot more people getting drunk and doing drugs. In China, there aren't that many people going crazy because if you take a lot of drugs or sell drugs the penalty is higher.

My favourite thing about Australia is hipsters with skinny jeans, who love strong lattes—no sugar—and they study philosophy at Melbourne Uni. I love hipsters, I think they are a cultural symbol. They have a lot of good ideas, sometimes very experimental. They are my favourite thing about Australia.

Are Australians REALLY bigger drunkards than the Chinese? I've never been to either place, so I cannot comment.

Also, I think some places have the luxury of higher drug use penalties because they don't have as many users.

This is a funny essay, where did you get it?

Edit:

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/977264.shtml

CHINA #1!!!!!

mrbotus fucked around with this message at 10:29 on Dec 21, 2016

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
Oh yeah. I got a photo of our favorite brand the other night:



I prefer to pronounce it "Byeml-Fuh-DICK"

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Hedenius posted:

Carfentanil. About a hundred times more potent then Fentanyl. Bad idea to mess around with.

That's freaky.

Here's lethal doses of heroin and regular fentanyl (note the scale):

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
After a lot of hand wrangling, I found I could just get a 5 day visa at the point of entry to go up to the Mainland instead of loving around for up to 8 weeks for a full on visa as I won't be staying long. This greatly simplifies the logistics. Only a couple more days before I go confirming things by buying the tickets and informing the relatives of my visit.

Accretionist posted:

That's freaky.

Here's lethal doses of heroin and regular fentanyl (note the scale):



Do not eyeball.

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Hedenius posted:

Carfentanil. About a hundred times more potent then Fentanyl. Bad idea to mess around with.

quick wiki visit says that this poo poo is so potent that they dont even use it on humans :stare:

apparently this is the strongest poo poo we've got and they use it to knock out elephants

LentThem
Aug 31, 2004

90% Retractible

Haier posted:

The turd behind me with bottles of oil began jabbing them into my back to prod me like that would make the cashier work faster

Speaking of this, I have to ask you something as the India expert: Why the gently caress did men behind me in queues in India feel the need to rest their gut against my back/arm? I mean it wasn't just me, everyone lines up that way, but what the gently caress, dont they feel strange resting their gut on people?

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

Young people are terrible too. Going to use wechat to pay for this 3元 drink, but I suddenly don't know how the phone I stare at for 20 hours a day works so it's going to take 20 minutes.

I had a fun one last weekend where the woman placed her order, spent some time getting her phone ready for QR Code Magic, then spent another minute digging around in her purse for a hundred-note, I guess as backup in case the barcode failed. She then awwardly used the code (not understanding where the scanner is), but then it worked fine. There was no reason at all to dig out cash in advance, unless she had done it while still waiting for her turn. Doing it at the register before trying to barcode, I just don't get it.

There are so many things that happen in China that look like people are deliberately being passive aggressive assholes to you, unless you know the culture and realize it's No Why, Just Y

mrbotus
Apr 7, 2009

Patron of the Pants

LentThem posted:

There are so many things that happen in China that look like people are deliberately being passive aggressive assholes to you, unless you know the culture and realize it's No Why, Just Y

Another part of it is people deciding that because you are a foreigner they aren't obligated to follow normal social decorum and act out on their impulses.

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I wished the pollution charats just said "Crazy bad" all over China like that one time the US embassy hit it's limit of 500. It's almost unbelievable now it has pegged the meter at twice the level. Winter is a bitch.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

LentThem posted:

Speaking of this, I have to ask you something as the India expert: Why the gently caress did men behind me in queues in India feel the need to rest their gut against my back/arm? I mean it wasn't just me, everyone lines up that way, but what the gently caress, dont they feel strange resting their gut on people?
Like Communist ration days of old, India has a history of first-come-first-serve for things when waiting in line. Temples give out free prasad (blessed food) and meals, feeding programs in poor areas give out meals, water trucks give water, etc., etc. When much of the country gets once chance per day at a free meal or bucket of water, they make sure their spot in line is secure. This is done by, like I said, dick-to-rear end closeness or standing with one hand on the shoulder in front of you to form a solid chain of humanity. This was the case lately even for people waiting to turn money into the banks.
Unlike China's face bullshit where assholes don't get called out most of the time, Indian line cutters and cheaters are shamed or beaten and lose their spot if they have one. It's normal to be waiting in a long line and have people touching the person in front of them, and also normal to see two lines, one with men and other with women. It's welcomed to call out people breaking that rule unless the person is bow-legged with age or has a cane or something. They don't mess around there.

You still get the people who are purposely trying to be dicks about it to the foreigner, but without Face culture to back them up, it's acceptable to tell them to gently caress off and cause a scene. Anyone watching will tend to back up whoever is in the right, because it affects them too.


oohhboy posted:

I wished the pollution charats just said "Crazy bad" all over China like that one time the US embassy hit it's limit of 500. It's almost unbelievable now it has pegged the meter at twice the level. Winter is a bitch.
My boss was telling me last night that her friends in Beijing were sleeping and woke up coughing. They found their air conditioner to be sending in all this air from outside (it wasn't running) and the reading inside the house was 300. My boss just said "Aren't you glad you didn't decide to go there?? I am so happy to be in the south!"

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!
I expect there's a 50:50 chance of it being either "We can supply carfentanil . for sure. Lots of Laowais buy crazy poo poo from us" or "We can supply carfentanil . for sure. I don't know what it is or whether we produce it but I must not admit it or I lose face as a salesperson".

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

blowfish posted:

I expect there's a 50:50 chance of it being either "We can supply carfentanil . for sure. Lots of Laowais buy crazy poo poo from us" or "We can supply carfentanil . for sure. I don't know what it is or whether we produce it but I must not admit it or I lose face as a salesperson".

Kind of like those Chinese chemists that claimed they sell foof.

Paladin
Nov 26, 2004
You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.


Invisible Handjob posted:

Ahahahaha. Brilliant.

I was probated and couldn't reply at the time but your peanut story viscerally hosed me up for a couple days

Now that you're un-probated, could you tell me if Sister Ping's restaurant in Manhattan is worth a visit? I walked by last time I was in Fujianese Chinatown, but figured if I went I should at least bring people.

E_P
Feb 22, 2003

My wife wants to take a day trip to Beijing from Seoul to eat some famous North Korean food there, do they still do those 72 hour free visas even for Americans?

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
You can but they are transit visas so you need another destination like come to hk.

If you want North Korean food heilongjiang province is actually pretty legit. People eat dogs there and they even distinguish north and South Korean food. You don't get the juche experience but you get ethnic Korean Chinese cooking everything

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Isn't Heilongjiang literally Mordor this time of the year?

Vesi
Jan 12, 2005

pikachu looking at?
Mordor is much warmer

plumpy hole lever
Aug 8, 2003

♥ Anime is real ♥
Hey chinar thread

i ilve in myanarm and i thought of you today


the city municpality evided to start testing food stuffs thats sold around the city


Turns out most of the fried tofu you can buy on the street has formaldehyde in it

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

very clever with maracas posted:

Hey chinar thread

i ilve in myanarm and i thought of you today


the city municpality evided to start testing food stuffs thats sold around the city


Turns out most of the fried tofu you can buy on the street has formaldehyde in it

Thanks for reminding me about the poor quality of oils used in many food products.

http://www.westonaprice.org/know-your-fats/the-big-fat-surprise-toxic-heated-oils/

quote:

In late 2012, as I was researching the latest news on trans fat replacements, Gerald McNeill, vice president of Loders Croklaan, which is one of the country’s largest suppliers of edible oil, told me something scary. He explained that fastfood chains including McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s have swapped out hydrogenated oils and started using regular vegetable oil instead. “As those oils are heated, you’re creating toxic oxidative breakdown products,” he said. “One of those products is a compound called an aldehyde, which interferes with DNA. Another is formaldehyde, which is extremely toxic.”

Aldehydes? Formaldehyde? Isn’t that the stuff that’s used to preserve dead bodies?

He went on to tell me how these heated, oxidized oils form polymers that create “a thick gunk” on the bottom of the fryer and clog up the drains. “It’s sticky, horrible! Like a witches’ brew!” he exclaimed. Partially hydrogenated oils, by contrast, were long-lasting and stable in fryers, which is of course why they were favored. And beef tallow, McDonald’s original frying fat, was even more stable.

McNeill’s company was a subsidiary of a giant Malaysian corporation that sold palm oil, so I wondered at first if he wasn’t just vilifying the competition. Then I called Robert Ryther, a senior scientist at Ecolab, the giant industrial cleaning company that services nearly all the major national fast-food restaurants, and he confirmed the “gunk” issue. “It builds up on everything. It’s like paint shellac . . . anywhere from a real hard, clear coating to a thick, gooey material, like a white silicone lubricant that you use on car engines, with a Crisco-type feel to it.” The gunk, he said, is the result of a hot oil mist coming off the fryer and then collecting on cold surfaces all over the restaurant—in mixers, ovens, and vents and on the floors and walls. Within a day, it would start building up. “Literally,” says Ryther, “we’d go into [restaurants], and people would say that we’ve been trying to get rid of this stuff for three weeks using sand blasters or hand scraping.”

Ceciltron
Jan 11, 2007

Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!
Pillbug

JaucheCharly posted:

Isn't Heilongjiang literally Mordor this time of the year?

Yeah basically. It's very much frozen hell.

Koramei
Nov 11, 2011

I have three regrets
The first is to be born in Joseon.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-38391998

quote:

Nigeria has confiscated 2.5 tonnes of "plastic rice" smuggled into the country by unscrupulous businessmen, the customs service says.

It is not clear where the seized sacks came from

hmm

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
Who was that guy who couldn't believe that the video of those bare-chested fuckers faking rice was real?

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
I complained before about the weird, seemingly archaic way that Chinese learn and use "ever." Now it has spread to Wechat translation.

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Is that a yes or a no?

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Haier posted:

Thanks for reminding me about the poor quality of oils used in many food products.

http://www.westonaprice.org/know-your-fats/the-big-fat-surprise-toxic-heated-oils/

I never thought about this because I hadn't been frying anything for long, but I used vegetable oil for frying in my truck and the gunk is a real loving problem. Like wire brush and industrial degreaser to remove type problem. I yanked my fryer out of the truck entirely just because I was tired of dealing with constantly having to scrub the gently caress out of anything that was near it.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

oohhboy posted:

Is that a yes or a no?
She is part of a weird thing that happened to me last year (2015). Right after Spring Festival I made a new QQ account since my other one got hacked and stolen from me. In the new account all my information said USA and I had a photo of me in the profile. People looking to talk to non-Chinese and/or practice English tend to search English-speaking countries and spam-add those where are online. For some inexplicable reason I had about 60 people from Shenzhen add me in about two weeks time after I made the account. I already had all the normal Chinese I had known from before IRL, but now I had an account full of people begging me to come to SZ and meet them (men and women). It was really weird.

I had a good job offer in Chongqing, but as I was talking to people connected to my actual social circle and asking about other cities, people were giving me account numbers of their friends in different places. One of those happened to be my boss right now. Shenzhen kept coming up over and over and in the process I met several people face to face this way before I was even in China, because so many of them got around for travel or work. At the last minute, I switched from Chongqing to Shenzhen and I never regretted it.

Anyway, I ended up meeting many of those strangers who added me on QQ in the process, and this girl was one of them. I have met many girls, but this one has some of the smoothest, evenly-toned skin and I have ever touched or seen in my years. Just holding her hand gave me the worst public boner and I had to sit down and then hold a plastic bag awkwardly while walking. We went on one date and never met again because she moved for her job. Now she's back in Shenzhen with her original job and looking to complete the date. We haven't talked in about five weeks and suddenly tonight she hit me up again and asked when she could stay the night at my house.

Mr. Nice! posted:

I never thought about this because I hadn't been frying anything for long, but I used vegetable oil for frying in my truck and the gunk is a real loving problem. Like wire brush and industrial degreaser to remove type problem. I yanked my fryer out of the truck entirely just because I was tired of dealing with constantly having to scrub the gently caress out of anything that was near it.
I paid a lot of attention before after feeling like poo poo from eating a lot of oily or fried things, and it was something I tried to cut out of my diet as much as possible. When I read stuff like that I just think of how my body is processing this stuff, especially all this super-refined-by-solvents type of oil in the big drums that places get for cheap for their cooking. Cleaning my house in China when I moved in took me through two full bottles of foaming degreaser because of the cooking oil on every drat surface in this house (everything, really! Even the bed frame). The previous tenants cooked on the balcony, and the area they had their wok had the wall and the window bars coated in blackened oil that was nearly impossible to clean off. It helped remind me how much I dislike oily foods unless it's something like legit Mediterranean food with good quality olive oil.

EDIT:

Here's a quick explanation of refined cooking oils. loving gross.

http://www.healthy-eating-politics.com/vegetable-oil.html

quote:

5. The seed pulp and oil are then put through a hexane solvent bath and steamed again to squeeze out more oil.
..

8. The crude vegetable oil is then put through further refining techniques including degumming, neutralization and bleaching:
LMAO.

Haier fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Dec 21, 2016

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



I would have never thought that it was the result of the type of oil, but it makes perfect sense. Not having to gently caress with the fryer is it's own reward, though.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
https://vimeo.com/128373915

China loses to Russia. Pretty amazing video. That's a lot of dead people.

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Don't worry, China made good ground later in the game racking up more total "points".

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

"We only have one female "volunteer" for you today Chairman. . . . . . . but she's 12!"

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
So, if anyone else keeps up with Will Ferrell's career, him and John C. Reilly are teaming up again to make a Talladega Nights-esque movie about professional e-sports. I really hope South Korea and China make a biased entry in the movie and many jimmies are rustled.

Or they might pander to the Chinese in hopes of it being released here :(

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


If its Adam McKay directing, jokes usually come before respecting anyone

Dicky mouse
Apr 11, 2008

"No No Not like that....Thats just silly"

Haier posted:

So, if anyone else keeps up with Will Ferrell's career, him and John C. Reilly are teaming up again to make a Talladega Nights-esque movie about professional e-sports. I really hope South Korea and China make a biased entry in the movie and many jimmies are rustled.

Or they might pander to the Chinese in hopes of it being released here :(

I wonder how long before they make a china pandering movie that goes so fair to make them the good guys and the not Chinese the real villians

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ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es
it would be so awesome if they had korean actors playing the chinese team members and vice versa

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