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DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

mentholmoose posted:

DannoMack, you're up for teaming up again, right?

Can't pass up three Ruths!

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DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa


Lineup looks good, rolls look great, and I'm sure Ambi Dextro will be dominant on their first try. Dumb luck is the hallmark of the RCMP.

Please swap Herrera into the bullpen and send down Fuentes. Thanks Smasher.

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
Where did good ol' Ambi come from?

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

The Merry Marauder posted:

Where did good ol' Ambi come from?

Where did I acquire him? Drafted with a pick from the Janus.

How was he born?: https://streamable.com/kgnqe

The Merry Marauder
Apr 4, 2009

"But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own."
What does a clip from ice boxing have to do with baseball?

Oh, I get it, it's a Canada thing, you speak in ice-related visual metaphors.


Is he like this one?

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET
It's actually Ambiorix Burgos.


e: Pick them!



Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Oklahoma City Bombers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Portland Panderers
Kōbe Crows

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Nega-Llamas

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Jersey City Jobbers

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Modern Love

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Porthcawl Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

mentholmoose fucked around with this message at 22:00 on Jan 2, 2017

CVE
Jan 27, 2012
Super League XXI : Kennel from Hell Preview

Ladies and Gentleman I wish you a most pleasant day and welcome you to this seasons Kennel from Hell Preview. My name is CVE and I’m a clueless german that will grant you all the wrong information and insights into this year’s subpar division race that will have you briefly question your sanity before scrolling up to read this intro and rediscovering that I am most likely talking out of my rear end and just didn’t get your grand masterplan to not die in the gauntlet.

Without further ado here are the contenders for the season:


The Houston Hol Horses are the team of our resident anime that became a reality and called itself Monathin. Coming of a bad season that saw them demoted from the comfy Super-League much to Smasher’s relief, who now no longer has to talk about anime, they will try their best to stand up once more to bring Smasher agony again in future seasons like the plucky underdog he has seen in so many of his favorite shows. It lies in the hands of his division rivals to preserve the sanity of our beloved commissioner and show that in reality an anime will get squashed mercilessly in front of effective management.


Next up is a long time Super League contender that recently fell on hard times and is trying to remedy that situation post haste before it ends up costing him his Franchise. Milt Thompson or Robert Deadford is the owner of the Krakow Dragons and most importantly the only person to keep New Hoss Radbourne in check. And the odds seem to look quite well for the long time team. After having a convincing season last time around that stopped just shy of being promoted because the championship team was his division rival (something I know all too well) the Polish squad is ready to get back in the Super League and reheat old rivalries.


The last returning team are the Burlington Berners headed by GVOLTT. So far they couldn’t really live up to their potential ending last seasons with a tie record and getting a first taste of the gauntlet which they ultimately survived. Playing against the Dragons proved to be a perilous situation last season and we will have to see if the experience of the gauntlet has strengthened the resolve of the team to produce exiting games for their home crowd and steer the franchise towards glory.


The three veteran teams are joined by two newcomers that came up through this years Expansion Class. First off we have the Blood Gulch Blues from veteran owner tadashi. Being a league member since Super-League XI he has yet to taste the sweet temptation of continued success. Then again that goes for most of us and tadashi is nothing if not tenacious. I mean who else would put his team in a perpetual war zone otherwise if they weren’t determined to stake everything on this chance.

[img]http://lpix.org/2602798/chicago_midway_mobsters.png][/img]
Last up is a recent addition to the league in form of TMMadman. His Midway Mobsters use a rather modern team all around which reminds me of my recent trainwreck. I certainly hope he will not go the way of the Goats and much rather rule from the shadows.


Let’s look at the man and machines they field this season and check who comes out on top in my humble opinion.


Catcher
#1 Joe Torre ’70 (DRA)
#2 Gabby Hartnett ’32 (MOB)
#3 Bill Dickey ’32 (BER)
#4 Ivan Rodriguez ’00 (HOL)
#5 Joe Mauer ’08 (GUL)

Joe Torre is the best catcher in this lineup in my opinion. He has decent offensive production in the Super-League while not lacing in defense compared to the other catchers. Tadashi had a very decent performing Hartnett of the same vintage on the Highlanders so no reasons he won’t work for the TMMadman . Dickey himself is rather young although he had a good season with the Berners last season when it comes to offensive productions so the positions of those two could be easily swapped. I-Rod is a good defensive piece but hasn’t really brought forward great offensive numbers to rank him higher. Still Monathin got a good performance from him in the past. Last is Mauer. He has to few season under his belt in real life to have Mogul look upon him favorable and is still rather young which shows in his SL performance of the past. He could have an outstanding performance but I much rather like the established players before him. Still not a bad group.

First Baseman
#1 Lou Gehrig ’32 (HOL)
#1 Lou Gehrig ’32 (BER)
#2 Albert Pujols ’02 (MOB)
#3 Jeff Bagwell ’94 (GUL)
#4 Sisler ‘22/Greenberg ’34 (DRA)


Lou Gehrig is one the best first baseman of all time. Both the Berners and the Hol Horses have one in their prime so this is an easy first place in my opinion. Pujols isn’t much weaker and has performed really great in the Super League. Although this one has some doubt attached as he is the youngest version of Pujols by far and might be fickle as we’ve seen in the past with young versions of great players. Next up is Jeff Bagwell who is a solid first baseman who isn’t great but just a really solid choice. The Sisler/Greenberg platoon which worked well for the Dragons in the past although it didn’t perform well last seasons which means they come in in last place.

Second Baseman
#1 Charlie Gehringer ’24 (DRA)
#2 Jackie Robinson ’51 (BER)
#3 Rod Carew ’70 (HOL)
#4 Pedroia ’08/Whitaker ’83 (GUL)
#5 Joey Altuve ’13 (MOB)

The situation at 2nd base is rather dire. Charlie Gehringer is a great 2nd baseman and even the really young version has rendered excellent services for the Dragons which clinches the top spot. Jackie Robinson might be the best bench player to have on any team and I rate him second on this list of 2nd baseman on the virtue of his defense as opposed to Carew offense given that both team have a groundball rotation the defense should be more important than a slightly higher offensive output.
Pedroia/Whitaker have some ok seasons to their name which aren’t all that impressive but should at least not be a black hole. Altuve is unproven in the league and nobody can tell if his performance will be something the choir of heaven will praise or whether it will send the team straight down to hell.

Shortstop
#1 Lou Boudreau ’48 (HOL)
#2 Honus Wagner ’07 (DRA)
#3 Luke Appling ‘41/Jeter ’08 (GUL)
#4 Derek Jeter ’02 (BER)
#5 Edgar Renteria ’02 (MOB)

Onwards to the shortstops. Lou Boudreau is the top of the class here in my opinion. Great defensive performance without being an offensive vacuum. Honus is one of the best that ever played and offensively he is easily the best of the bunch. Personally I value a good defense a bit more so he comes in second but could easily claim the top spot as well. One further down we have the Appling/Jeter platoon. In 2008 Jeter was relatively old but should still perform ok as a small spoon. Solo Jeter should do ok most of the time. Renteria is a complete gamble that I can’t see working out. He has never played a full season and his performances for vary a lot. Ray of hope is that his seasons with the most games were pretty decent.

Third Baseman
#1 George Kell ‘53/Eddie Mathews ’60 (HOL)
#2 Chipper Jones ‘93/Eddie Mathews ’59 (DRA)
#3 Alex Rodriguez ’08 (GUL)
#4 Joe Sewell ’32 (BER)
#5 Scott Rolen ’02 (MOB)

At third base two platoons reign surpreme. I’m a proponent of all things Kell and even if Chipper has has a much better offense in the league in most seasons, defense matters at 3rd base. Both Mathews are in their prime and should bring on decent performances for the teams. Next three are roughly equal in my opinon from a fielding point of view so it came down to offensive output and A-Rod is the best in it. And whileRolen should be capable of more than Sewell the last few seasons have shown a sharp decline in his ability to hit the ball when it comes to the league whereas a Sewell of this age had good performances for the RCMP in seasons past.

Left Field
#1 Manny Ramirez ’97 (MOB)
#2 Goose Goslin ’32 (DRA)
#3 Goose Goslin ’29 (BER)
#4 Tim Raines ’87 (HOL)
#5 Manny Ramirez ’08 (GUL)

Now let us go to the place where the big hits are usually scored. The Left Field features a couple of copies. Manny Ramirez in the nineties is a solid choice that usually hits the ball often and hard in the Super League and should give the best hitting performance of the group. Next up are the Goslins with the older one getting the nod due to his continued outstanding performances for the Dragons during his entire enlistment. The younger one had a down year for the Berners but should get right back up and perform like he usually does and fix any perceived hole that might have been seen in the last season. Coming in in 4th place is Tim Raines in his prime. Unfortunately for the Horses the time of Raines in the Super League has been a thing of the past for the most time although a recent resurgence could lead to a renewal. Old Manny has performed atrociously in the past and I’m not sure he can change that in this iteration.



Centerfield
#1 Earle Combs ’32 (BER)
#2 Ty Cobb ’24 (DRA)
#3 Duke Snider ‘49/ Gorman Thomas ’81 (HOL)
#4 Ichiro Suzuki ’08 (GUL)
#5 Jim Edmonds ’02 (MOB)

This group makes me sad. As much as it is a travesty to not put Cobb in first place, he is old and hasn’t performed at that age since Super League XIV, which means Combs who had an above average season with the Berners gets the nod here. Now the rest is just doom and gloom to me. Next up we got the Snider/Thomas platoon that I have no idea how to rate it feels like it. Baby Sniders had rather disappointing seasons as of late and wasn’t what the Horses needed last season. Still he is capable of greatness as seen in other teams and maybe putting him together with a newcomer to the league awakens his latent potential or at least makes him look good in comparison.
Ichiro is ancient but has proven to at least be capable of catching the ball in his advanced age . Jim Edmonds hasn’t been relevant in the SL for ages outside of a small outing that saw him blasted with the Cagey Bees.

Right Field
#1 Harry Heilmann ’29 (DRA)
#2 Pete Rose ’70 (GUL)
#3 Gary Sheffield ’98 (HOL)
#4 Frank Robinson ’68 (MOB)
#5 Duke Snider ’51 (BER)

Consistency matters in my eyes and it shows in this rating of mine. Heilmann might be of the older sorts but has always held the torch of the Dragons high in the last couple of seasons with decent performances all around. The same goes for Charlie Hustle. Although most of his playtime at this vintage was spent at 3rd base he has shown in the last season with the Knights that he is capable of holding down right field as well. Sheffield is not a fan of defense; however he is a fan of hitting the ball which he has demonstrated with the Cloggers last season and with the groundball heavy rotation his defense should matter a lot less. Frank Robinson just can’t find his footing in the Super League at an slightly advanced age. He is capable of placing much higher on this list of he performs well but that is a thing to be seen which means that a lack of consistency puts him rather low on the list. Duke Snider ranks in the same way just that I don’t think his ceiling is quite as high as that of Robinson.

DH
#1 Babe Ruth ’32 (BER)
#2 Barry Bonds ’87 (GUL)
#3 Stan Musial ‘59/Ellis Burks ’97 (DRA)
#4 Manny Ramirez ’04 (HOL)
#5 Jim Thome ’97 (MOB)

Old Guys and very volatile people are the choices for the DH for our contenders of the hour. Babe Ruth may be old but he is still the Bambino and good enough at hitting the ball even in advanced age. Bonds is young and has burned some owners with his youth but he is still capable of performing enough to claim the second spot as long as you don’t get one of his off seasons (Barry :argh:). Musial should be capable of holding down DH on his own while giving a good performance and I might be undervaluing Burks but I don’t have much faith in him as a little spoon. Still he shouldn’t cause too much trouble and will certainly make sure that Musial last the entire season. Man-Ram had some bad seasons at this age but his good ones prevail and he is pretty capable at putting the ball out of the defenders reach. Thome is a solid choice. Nothing spectacular but nothing to cry about either.

Bench
#1 Platoon Partners/Julio Franco ‘87/ Ted Simmons ‘76/ Ed Delahanty ’01 (HOL)
#2 Roy Campanella ‘51/Pee Wee Reese ‘51/Johnny Frederik ‘30/Babe Herman ‘30/Tony Lazzeri ’32 (BER)
#3 Platoon Partners/Vern Stephens ‘50/Ray Schalk ’20 (DRA)
#4 Lopez ‘95/Polanco ‘02/Mitchell ‘97/ Brian Giles ‘97/Grissom ’95 (MOB)
#5 Platoon Partners/Varitek ‘08/Youkilis ’08 (GUL)

Let’s make this quick. The Hol Horses have the best bench by far. The Dragons are an old team but are handicapped by a lot of platoons although Stephens is a very versatile player. This means the Berners without any platoons edge out he Dragons. The Gulch is using rather modern bench player and a lot of platoons and while I like Youk he isn’t really someone to fill a lot of roles. For those reasons a full bench from the Mobsters edge out the Gulch when it comes to their replacements.

SP#1
#1 New Hoss Radbourne (DRA)
#2 Pete Alexander ’13 (MOB)
#3 Pete Alexander ’21 (GUL)
#4 Walter Johnson ’16 (HOL)
#5 Bob Gibson ’63 (BER)

New Hoss is a literal machine and as such cannot fail even put together with such a great group of aces. Alexander is great and the younger one has the better performances than the old ones so he gets the nod when it comes to him. The Big train is no way inferior than Alexander and only a horrible season under the Australian Cyborg puts him behind the Alexanders in the rating. Gibson is equally nice to have as a starting pitcher and will bring no shame to the Berners. Great group.

Sp#2
#1 Walter Johnson ’22 (DRA)
#2 Eddie Plank ’02 (HOL)
#3 Gaylord Perry ’71 (BER)
#4 Greg Maddux ’95 (MOB)
#5 Curt Schilling ’98 (GUL)

Another good group with the noted exception of Schilling in my opinion. The Dragons show the might of seniority that means that they can have Johnson as their second man and we all know how good he is. Plank and Perry are consistent with Plank having the more outstanding seasons in the past. Maddux is still recovering from the Coldplayers experience but has shown excellence in the past. I doubt someone can make Schilling shine with the exception of the nefarious Zephyrs.

SP#3
#1 Babe Adams ‘07(DRA)
#2 Monte Ward ’82 (HOL)
#3 Roger Clemens ’90 (GUL)
#4 Tom Glavine ’95 (MOB)
#5 Don Newcombe ’51 (BER)

The top are easily discernible and both come from team that had ample opportunity to strengthen their teams due to continued survival. Adams has worked wonders for the Dragons and there is no sign to tell that things will be different this time. Ward has pretty much done the same for the Hol Horses and I believe that he will continue to support the team. Afterwards we come to pitchers that tend to have troublein the league. Clemens had some season with success on the Landers of the past but can’t put up a performance when he needs to in the recent past. Glavine has worked out well in the middle aged years of the Eazy W’s but has found himself replaced recently and has struggled in almost every other team. Newcombe is serviceable but has a low ceiling.

SP#4
#1 Jack Powell ’99 (HOL)
#2 Rick Reuschel ’76 (GUL)
#3 Watty Clark ’30 (BER)
#4 John Smoltz ’95 (MOB)
#5 Dick Rudolph ’16 (DRA)

The air gets thinner as we move further down the line of the starting pitching positions. Powell has worked out well in the past and performs very well in the Super League so I would assume he brings the same quality to the Sub-Par. I like Reuschel as he always did well by me and that particular age seems to have a great time in the league and will surely continue that trend. Watty Clark is a recent addition to the league and has yet to have a bad performance. He might be better than Reuschel as the league thrives on deadballers but limited experience with the player lets me stay cautious. John Smoltz is mostly used as a reliever in the league but the few outings as a starting pitcher that were granted to him have shown that he certainly is capable of fulfilling that role as well given that he had a lot more good seasons than the occasional bad one. Dick Rudolph is a generic deadballer that hasn’t seen play Since Super League VI so whether he can still perform with the improved league will have to be seen. Still as said before deadballers usually won’t ruin a team so the risk is minimal.

SP#5
#1 Slim Sallee ’16 (HOL)
#2 Carl Hubbell ’36 (DRA)
#3 Kevin Brown ’97 (GUL)
#4 Kevin Brown ’92 (BER)
#5 John Smiley ’97 (MOB)

Not the most promising bunch but we have seen much worse than it comes to fifth starters. Sallee and Hubbell should be fine as deadballers tend to be with Sallee putting on a better performances overall although Hubbell was great for the Dragons last year. They are pretty much interchangeable when it comes to their positions. Kevin Brown has not repaid the amount of faith that is shown in him in the past but is at least capable of doing so if season of yore are to be believed. John Smiley has only seen play as a reliever in the league and so having him as a fulltime starter is something that I can’t seem to believe in giving his real life performance as well. The Damage should show after a couple of weeks and should be able to be contained unless of course he surprises us all.

Bullpen
#1 Rivera ‘08/Papelbon ’08 and the ’08 crew (GUL)
#2 Hoffman ‘06/Smoltz ’02 and some other guys (DRA)
#3 Modern Guys (BER)
#4 Mobsters (MOB)
#5 Soul leaving the Body (HOL)

Bullpens come down to dumb luck most of the time so there aren’t many words to be lost. The Blood Gulch have the one sure thing when it comes to the pen in Rivera and a solid piece in Papelbon which means they claim the top spot. In second place are the Dragons with a solid top two in Smoltz and Hoffman. Further on comes the most modern pen with the Berners which should mean they won’t be horrible and repeat their decent performance of last year. The Mobsters have a couple of o guys that could put on decent performances but also had down seasons. Our resident anime doesn’t believe in replacements and only runs with his main party.

Purely from a gut feeling I will say that I expect the table at the end of the season to show the following picture, though I would be hard pressed to elaborate on it as it is just as told a gut feeling.

Krakow Dragons
Houston Hol Horses
Blood Gulch Blues
Burlington Berners
Midway Mobsters

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Pre-Season Pick'ems!

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Oklahoma City Bombers
Aperture Scientists

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine


Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Sindhi Sheikhs

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

ENIX SLIMES

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician


Please get BJ Ryan The gently caress Out of my actual bullpen, swap him for Bill Hands


~~~~~~



Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mexico City Mexicutioners
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:[/b]
Jersey City Jobbers

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Porthcawl Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Houston Hol Horses

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

Kōbe Crows

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Oklahoma City Bombers
Aperture Scientists

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:[/b]
Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Jersey City Jobbers
Sindhi Sheikhs

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Porthcawl Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET


OK, I just realized I'm missing J.R Richard. My guess is his BB-ref Lahman ID and Mogul Lahman ID are different and it didn't load.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

mentholmoose posted:



OK, I just realized I'm missing J.R Richard. My guess is his BB-ref Lahman ID and Mogul Lahman ID are different and it didn't load.


Yup!

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

The Monateam Monathin Shakespearean Sic Transit Preview Feat. CraigK

Forced into a solo preview for the first time in so many seasons, ah, Monateam, why hath thou forsaken me!?

At any rate, Sic Transit Vir is perhaps one of the divisions that seems, at a glance, on lock. For several seasons now, the struggle has been with Dannomack’s RCMP and Beet’s Sheikhs. However, with Beet seemingly permanently in absentia, and Danno having completely redone his team in a fit of what can only be called the greatest Trade Madness seen since peak FairGame, the Division seems like it may be due for a shakeup. Will it? I don’t know.

Returning to challenge the dominance of Beet and Danno is Zodiac’s South Dakota Marmosets, who barely edged out the Luna Landers in a survival playoff last season to avoid demotion. Replacing the Landers is Marauder’s own South Shore Gumshoes, a team that Marauder runs with as much whim and fancy as he deems appropriate.

Let’s see how things shake up this season, shall we?

Catcher
1. ‘?? Josh Gibson (RCMP)
2. ‘53 Yogi Berra (SDA)
3. ‘27 Gabby Hartnett (SOS)
4. ‘75 Johnny Bench (SIN)

All hitting, no fielding! That’s not how catching is supposed to work, you guys! Anyway, Josh Gibson is a living legend, and the fact that he doesn’t get enough recognition is entirely due to segregation in baseball. He was good for the Scientists, he’ll be good for the RCMP. Yogi Berra isn’t a living legend, but he was one of the best-hitting catchers and he’s been more than serviceable for the Marmosets. Gabby’s on the wrong side of 30, and can be a bit of a tossup. When he’s good, he’s really good, but when he’s bad, it’s gonna be really rough. Johnny Bench has a myriad of contact issues in the SL, and his ceiling so far hasn’t come close to Berra’s floor or Hartnett’s potential.

First Base
1. Buck Leonard (SIN)
2. ‘27 Lou Gehrig (SDA)
3. ‘36 Lou Gehrig (RCMP)
4. ‘92 Mark Grace (SOS)

An excellent and terrifying group, that needs almost literally no explanation. Buck Leonard may not as be as immediate a force to be reckoned with as the MACHINE, but he’s no less iconic for Beet’s team, and one of the strongest offense producers on his teams. Lou Gehrig was the greatest first baseman to play the sport, and I’ll take the too-young variant the Marmosets are running versus the older-than-prime Gehrig the RCMP have, though both should be more than good enough for their respective teams. Mark Grace is horrifically, horrifically outclassed in this group of legends.

Second Base
1. ‘30 Riggs!!!!! (RCMP)
2. ‘74 Joe Morgan/’22 Frankie Frisch (SIN)
3. ‘92 Lou Whitaker/’32 Billy Herman (SOS)
4. ‘30 Rogers Hornsby (SDA)

2B, by contrast to 1B, is much more mortal and flawed. Riggs is a cool player, and has done quite a lot of work for the Mounties, even if he’s a bit on the older side. He won’t do a drat thing for the Mounties’ defense, but he’s not meant to. Morgan and Frisch are more defensively oriented than Riggs, but their offensive production sometimes struggles, and Frisch is playing two positions, so I’m not sure how effective he’ll be. Sweet Lou being snubbed by the Hall of Fame remains one of the greater minor injustices of the sport, but that being said, he’s pretty old here, and Herman is mostly there to give him days off. Hornsby, by contrast, is nearly as old, has no caddy, and is infamously known in the SL for exploding into dust at so much as a stiff breeze. If he can make it the whole season, his offensive production will be worth his bad defense. Big, biiiig if.

Shortstop
1. THE MACHINE (SIN)
2. ‘44 Lou Boudreau (SOS)
3. ‘82 Robin Yount (SDA)
4. ‘32 Joe Sewell/’99 Aaron Ledesma (RCMP)

Two good, two bad. Even if there is no God or Buddha, there is the MACHINE. There’s been a lot of talk about whether the MACHINE is broken and constitutes an unfair advantage, and I think Smasher has mostly addressed them in a satisfactory way, though there’s no denying that it’s the defense lynchpin of Beet’s infield. Let me talk about Lou Boudreau for a second, since, aside from Marauder, I’m one of his biggest proponents: Lou Boudreau is as close as you get in the Super-League of the ‘archetypical’ shortstop, He doesn’t hit for a lot of power, but is good for about 20-ish doubles over the course of a season, has decent contact, draws his fair share of walks, and plays great defense. He’s an underappreciated shortstop in a league where everyone wants dingers at every position, no matter the cost, and is probably at least an honorable mention in top five shortstops in the league. Robin Yount has had good seasons recently, but not for the Marmosets, and I don’t expect that to turn around this season. Sewell is far too old to be handling short on his own, and, though I know Danno believes Ledesma has extraordinary powers in Mogul, I won’t believe him until I see the results for myself.

Third Base
1. 1990 Wade Boggs/1963 Harmon Killebrew (RCMP)
2. 1922 Frankie Frisch/1983 Mike Schmidt (SIN)
3. 1991 Edgar Martinez (SOS)
4. 2002 Larry Wayne Jones (SDA)

I’ll be honest: I have no idea why Danno is platooning Killebrew at 3rd, given Boggs is as close as you get to solving 3B in a single player and he’s not exactly *that* old, given his pedigree. Frisch gets to shine here instead of playing second-fiddle to Morgan, with Schmidt being his replacement. The fact that Schmidt is not as good a player in Mogul makes me very sad. Edgar Martinez is all bat and no glove, and while his bat is nice, defense matters in the hot corner. Chipper Jones is old and solo-handling third base. This seems like a recipe for disaster, but given Zodiac’s backup option is HoWilliams Monsoon…

Left Field
1. ‘25 Banbino (RCMP)
2. ‘82 Rickey Henderson (SDA)
3. ‘30 Heinie Manush (SOS)
4. ‘87 Tim Raines (SIN)

Babe Ruth is Babe Ruth, and I’m not gonna go into him much more than that. Rickey is cool. Rickey fills not-often-wanted niche! Rickey not as good as Ruth. Heinie Manush is a pretty cool guy who denied Babe Ruth the Triple Crown in 1926 and was mentored by Harry Heilmann, he’s pretty drat cool, though Ruth is stronger in the sims. Tim Raines is someone I’m personally trying to help get better modern data for, but right now he’s just a bit outclassed in the corners.

Center Field
1. 1892 Sliding Billy/’35 Wally Berger (RCMP)
2. ‘17 Edd Roush/’50 Richie Ashburn (SOS)
3. ‘32 Earle Combs/’10 Roger Bresnahan (SIN)
4. ‘65 Mickey Mantle/’3? Oscar Charleston (SDA)

PLATOOOOOOOOONS! Berger is underrated and a natural complement for Sliding Billy, and I’m not just saying that because I traded Berger to Danno. Edd Roush is an odd duck of a player that people have had a hard time unlocking the potential of. However he’s done it, Marauder’s got Roush playing like the Hall of Famer he is, so even with Richie filling a possibly superfluous void, that’s the second spot. Fun fact: When I typed this up, I originally misspelled Earle Combs as Earle Combos, and that’s really funny to me. Bresnahan and Combs should be good. I’m really harsh on the Old Mantle/Older Charleston platoon, in that Charleston in his non-Losers appearances has had a steep dropoff, and Mantle is at best volatile.

Right Field
1. ‘19 Bambino (RCMP)
2. ‘25 Sultan of Swat (SIN)
3. ‘47 Stan The Man (SDA)
4. ‘01 Wee Willie (SOS)

Outstanding group all around. I’ll take younger Babe over older Babe any day of the week, and though he wasn’t as good last season, Stan the Man is still a force to be reckoned with in the corners, and statistics says he’s gotta bounce back. Wee Willie was five foot four and the main reason why a foul bunt with two strikes is a strike out. He doesn’t have the pop that Babe or Stan have, but his contact tool is second to probably none in the corner.

Bench
1. ‘78 Downing/’80 Molitor/’92 Palmeiro/Platoon Partners (SIN)
2. ‘70 Bench/’99 Roberto Alomar/’73 Billy Williams/’13 Shoeless Joe/Platoon Partners (SOS)
3. Howilliams Monsoon/’02 Nap Lajoie/’88 Buck Ewing/’87 Barry Larkin/Turkey Stearnes/Platoon Partner (SDA)
4. ‘10 Roger Bresnahan/’12 Clyde Milan/2010 Orlando Hudson/Platoon Partners (RCMP)

I never like talking about benches, as I’ve been piss-awful at assembling one until recently and it comes down to veterancy a lot of the time. My gut feelings are that Beet’s players are the best to come hit off the bench, so he gets the top spot. Marauder’s guys are either guys his opposition is already starting (Bench), or guys who could probably field or have been proven to do well in a pinch. Zodiac’s got the fullest bench, but I’m not sure I like any of them outside Nap and maybe Turkey. Danno traded most of his depth away to acquire Gibson and Ruth from the Scientists, and it shows. If he has to go to his bench for any reason, I fear for his team’s safety.

SP1
1. ‘15 Pete Alexander (SOS)
2. ‘06 Christy Mathewson (SDA)
3. ‘03 Cy Young (RCMP)
4. ‘22 Phil Douglas (SIN)

Easy rankings, I feel like. Pete is one of the best there ever was, Matty is only slightly less good than him, Cy Young is Old but was the literal best there ever was, and should have more than enough in the tank to fight them for who’s the legitimate ace of the division. Phil Douglas could never stick on a team due to his rampant alcoholism, and I feel like that’s not someone you wanna slot at SP1, but given Beet’s got the Machine, he’s able to play with fire a bit.

SP2
1. ‘10 Slim Sallee (SIN)
2. ‘97 Rube Waddell (RCMP)
3. The People’s Left-Hander (SDA)
4. ‘04 Chief Bender (SOS)

One day, I’ll figure out what it is that makes Slim so dominant, and the Hol Horses will be able to use him to his full potential. Until then, I’ll just make grumbly noises in Beet and rabidsquid’s direction. Rube Waddell is a legitimate ace but he’s literally not old enough to drink, so I’m curbing my enthusiasm. The People’s Left-Hander has bounced between 4 different teams since his inception 4 seasons ago, and has struggled to be really dominant in the SL. I hope he does better, but I’m not gonna bet on it. ‘Chief’ Bender is also quite young, and doesn’t quite have the degree of success in the SL Slim or Rube do.

SP3
1. Switch Pitcher ver 1.0 (RCMP)
2. ‘68 Don Sutton (SDA)
3. ‘77 Tom Seaver (SOS)
4. ‘01 Doc White (SIN)

Woof. Gettin’ kinda thin already. Switch-Pitcher is going to be good. How good, I can’t really say. But Smasher’s hit more often than he’s missed when it came to created players. Sutton seems like one of those guys everyone’s tried out to see if they can work for them, and has been better than average just by advantage of sheer statistical weight. Zodiac is the latest in a long line of people to make him work, and he has the chops to be better than Switch if he isn’t up to snuff on first release. Tom Seaver is cool, and not a bad choice for the Gumshoes, but his ceiling’s a bit lower than Sutton’s overall. Monicro once called Doc White horrible unproven in the Super-League, and now that he’s proven, the consensus is that he’s not great. Still, Beet’s likely to do well based on defensive alignment.

SP4
1. ‘10 Eddie Plank (SDA)
2. ‘02 Joe McGinnity (RCMP)
3. ‘14 Wilbur Cooper (SIN)
4. ‘77 Ron Guidry (SOS)

What the actual hell is Eddie Plank doing all the way down here? I guess I can’t knock it too hard, since most of the Marmoset’s pitching is quite good, but it still feels weird to see him at SP4. McGinnity is kind of a rare piece that I don’t think anyone else is using. He’s been quite good for Danno, and was quite good on the Tornados besides. Wilbur Cooper can be good, but I side-eye his WHIP and tend to feel a sense of dread. Guidry is an interesting piece who was very good back in the SL 10-12 era who has since fallen off quite a ways.

SP5
1. ‘20 Eddie Cicotte (SIN)
2. ‘61 Larry Jackson (RCMP)
3. ‘73 Fergie Jenkins (SOS)
4. ‘63 Sandy Koufax (SDA)

Terrible, just terrible. Cicotte is old, but gets first due to his theoretical ceiling being higher than just about anyone here. Jackson is the definition of uninteresting mid-60s pitcher, Jenkins is loathed by McFreeze and that’s all I can think of to say about him, and Koufax should be better than he is, but isn’t.

Bullpens
1. Chelsea Baker/Rollie Fingers/Robb Nen/Paul Assenmacher/Jeff Reardon/Tim Keefe (SDA)
2. Billy Wagner/Mariano Rivera/Kelvin Herrera/Perry Werden/Mace Brown/Silver King (RCMP)
3. Dennis Eckersley/Jay Howell/Joe Sambito/Jeff Reardon/Tim Burke/Red Faber (SIN)
4. Rod Beck/Trevor Rosenthal/David Wells/Larry Anderson/Pedro Martinez/Bob Feller (SOS)

See what I said about benches, and apply that to bullpens, except my bullpen is a flaming fire garbage dump. The Marmosets have Chelsea Baker and a host of other semi-reliable pitchers all throughout. The Mounties are relying on the one-two punch of Wagner and Rivera, which isn’t the worst thing you can do. The Sheikhs put their faith in Eck and a host of also-rans behind him, and Marauder has a few pieces that could be good, but I’m not sure the data backs them up well enough to be successful.

CONCLUSIONS

- The RCMP are top of their class in most of their positions, and should cruise to either a wildcard or a straight playoff berth, unless they’re beset by mentholmoose-caliber luck and lose enough guys that they have to dig into their bench/minors. Projected Finish: 1st

- The Sheikhs are Babe, Buck, MACHINE, and little else besides. It’s a good thing none of those players are susceptible to injury, because even one of them being knocked out for a few weeks could spell disaster for Beet’s autonomous team. Still, they’ve never failed to make the playoffs before, and the MACHINE hates drops in statistics. Projected Finish: 2nd

- The Marmosets have a serious chance to play spoiler for either the Sheikhs or the Mounties. They have competitive pitching and hitting in some spots, but aren’t quite a team that feels yet ‘complete’. They should just barely keep their heads above water another season. Projected Finish: 3rd

- The Gumshoes are by no means a bad team, but aren’t built to be a serious contender, especially not in STV. They may feud with Marmosets for 3rd if they go on a run, but I think they’re gonna be seeing the Sub-Par again sooner than they think. Projected Finish: 4th

Preview over!

Monathin fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Jan 3, 2017

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
I think Josh Gibson might have stopped being a living legend many decades ago :ssh:

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

Straight White Shark posted:

I think Josh Gibson might have stopped being a living legend many decades ago :ssh:

I'll butcher the english language however I drat well please, Gabe.

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG




I will mess with the actual lineups after a couple weeks since I don't feel like shuffling poo poo around but I will go back up to an 11 man bullpen for now.

Send down Rudy York, Hank Greenberg, call up Carlton Fisk and Red Donahue and put Donahue in at MR please. Just go ahead and put Musial in full time to replace Greenberg

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

rabidsquid posted:



I will mess with the actual lineups after a couple weeks since I don't feel like shuffling poo poo around but I will go back up to an 11 man bullpen for now.

Send down Rudy York, Hank Greenberg, call up Carlton Fisk and Red Donahue and put Donahue in at MR please. Just go ahead and put Musial in full time to replace Greenberg

Wait, no, let me amend my earlier statement to read "this lineup and bullpen are perfect, please never change them."

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG


^ :smith:

Pre-Season Pick'ems!

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Mexico City Mexicutioners

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Khartoum Doom
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Jersey City Jobbers

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Luna Landers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
Pre-Season Pick'ems!

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Mexico City Mexicutioners


Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers


Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's


Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:


Oklahoma City Bombers
Kōbe Crows


Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:
Jersey City Jobbers


Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police


Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs


Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Bonus Wagner


Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers


Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Porthcawl Rakers


Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons


Tag Team Tourney

Of course, we Dragons are looking for a buddy. You get New Hoss guaranteed as starter or reliever, depending on rotation or starter contribution, plus my infield.

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

Kensei and I will again be forming the Flying Hellfish

Craig K
Nov 10, 2016

puck

kw0134 posted:

Speaking of pre-season rituals that everyone should be paying attention to, but is apparently overlooked, we should start the Pre-Season Pick'ems!

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Oklahoma City Bombers
Kobe Crows

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine


Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Sindhi Sheikhs

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Nega-Llamas
Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Luna Landers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

Craig K fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Jan 3, 2017

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Quotin' myself is fun.
Pre-Season Pick'ems!

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom


Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Oklahoma City Bombers


Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's


Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Panderers
Kōbe Crows


Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:
Rochester Generics


Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Sindhi Sheikhs


Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Royal Canadian Mounted Police


Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:
Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:
Porthcawl Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:
Krakow Dragons

kw0134 fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Jan 4, 2017

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



pickems

Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Mexico City Mexicutioners

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

Aperture Scientists

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Khartoum Doom
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Jersey City Jobbers
Sindhi Sheikhs

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Modern Love

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Bath Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Krakow Dragons

These picks are kinda depressing.

GVOLTT
Dec 27, 2012

Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.
One of these days, someone other than me will pick my team to win Kennel From Hell. :smith: And I'm not even participating in the pick 'em.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



GVOLTT posted:

One of these days, someone other than me will pick my team to win Kennel From Hell. :smith: And I'm not even participating in the pick 'em.

I feel the same about the Berners as I did last season: a decent team with some rough competition.

The Dragons are the class of the division with the Base Cloggers gone.
Blood Gulch had a relatively smooth ride through the EC and look surprisingly solid
The Hol Horses have kinda been the Senor Goodtimes punching bag for a while, but the team isn't that bad.
The Mobsters are trying a lot of really atypical options. Odds are it'll go very wrong, but even given that possibility there is some talent there that suggests it won't be a pushover.

It's hard to see how the Berners hold off those guys. The rotation is one of the weaker ones in the EC, the bullpen is scary in its fragility and volatility (compare to Blood Gulch, for instance), and the lineup looks too dependent on a few guys for the bulk of the runs created.

I'd give the odds of winning the division like
65% Dragons
20% Blood Gulch
5% Horses
5% Berners
5% Mobsters

Nothing's impossible, but I don't think anyone who wants to win pickem is gonna not pick the longest-surviving team that's actually made the SL playoffs and boasts the best created player this side of the Masked Shortstop.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:
Khartoum Doom

Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:
Portland Panderers

Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:
Minnesota Commission
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:
Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:
Hoboken Zephyrs

Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:
Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:
Mr. Burns Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:
Glastonbury Knights

Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:
Rockford Losers

Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:
Porthcawl Rakers

Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:
Krakow Dragons

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
Super-League

Who will win Mark Bellhorn? PICK ONE:

Khartoum Doom


Who will win Senor Goodtimes? PICK ONE:

Portland Panderers


Who will win Norris-Smythe? PICK ONE:

South Bolton Eazy W's


Who will win a Smasher League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Mexico City Mexicutioners
Oklahoma City Bombers


Who will win Momento Mori? PICK ONE:

Slaughterhouse Nine

Who will win Vae Victus? PICK ONE:

Jersey City Jobbers


Who will win Sic Transit Vir? PICK ONE:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police


Who will win a Dynamo League wildcard? PICK TWO:

Hoboken Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Sub-Par League

Who will win Monster's Ball? PICK ONE:

Origami Tsunamis


Who will win Feast or Fired? PICK ONE:

Rockford Losers


Who will win Punjabi Prison? PICK ONE:

Luna Landers


Who will win Kennel from Hell? PICK ONE:

Houston Hol Horses

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
The 11th Tag Team Championship Tournament: Writing Bad, Friendship Good

Tag Teams? TAG TEAMS!

The way this will work is that two teams, and it can be any two teams, whether they be from the Super-League, the Sub-Par League, or some sort of unholy union between a team from the Super-League and a team from the Sub-Par League, will team up to form a super-team, with each team providing two of the following four components:

-Infield (1B, 2B, 3B, SS, DH, two backup IFs)
-Outfield and Catcher (C, LF, CF, RF, a backup C, and two backup OFs)
-Starting Rotation (SP1, SP2, SP3, SP4, SP5)
-Bullpen (CL, SU, SR, SR, MR, LR)

The winners get the greatest gift I am capable of giving: Immortality! That's right, the teams who win this tournament will be immune from relegation or demotion for a full season! And if you are in the Sub-Par league and are part of the winning tag team, you'll automatically be promoted to the Super-League proper for Super-League XXII, a season that hurts my head just thinking about it.

Somehow, and I blame all of you, the two-time defending tag team champions are Arcade MACHINE, who are looking to be the first team ever to win a third straight tag team crown (winning two in a row being oddly common). I really, really do expect at least one team to be able to take down Arcade MACHINE, given that it's run by Beet, who's not here, and Yaya, who is Yaya.

So, find yourself a partner, combine material from each of your teams, and create a child team that you both will cherish and nurture right up until it goes off to the tournament and disappoints you greatly. And then, you will know how your parents feels every time they think about you.

Participating Teams!
Arcade MACHINE (Sindhi Sheikhs/World Warriors) (c)

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

Kensei and I will be teaming up again

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

Smasher Dynamo posted:

The 11th Tag Team Championship Tournament: Writing Bad, Friendship Good

Anyone looking for a partner? I've got a knockout rotation and can fill in a competent (question mark?) defensive-leaning infield or bullpen, need someone with an outfield.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Straight White Shark posted:

Anyone looking for a partner? I've got a knockout rotation and can fill in a competent (question mark?) defensive-leaning infield or bullpen, need someone with an outfield.

I've got an outfield. Want to team?

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



someone team with the nega llamas

Good infield, mostly competent bullpen. Could also bring a generic deadball rotation

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

The Hol Horses have a superior quality infield (Gehrig/Carew/Boudreau/Kell+Mathews) and a excellent rotation (Big Train + Monte Ward + Eddie Plank + Jack Powell + Slim Sallee) which sets up an excellent defense and a bit of punch, and we can bring a compliment of DHs to help fill power roles. If anyone wants to bring a knockout bullpen and some strong outfielders, talk to me!

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

Sub-Par League IX, Week 0: Again

Hi.


Team Statistics











Analysis

You can't rake a bath! That would be a ridiculous thing to do to a bath. You would ruin it. Okay, that should be enough material for 10 recaps.











Analysis

I'm sure you meant to say "Barry Bonds LF, Manny Ramirez DH." That is what you meant to say, right?











Analysis

If these guys are going to win promotion, it will have to be through their defense. They're set up pretty well in that regard.











Analysis

Hello Bubbles, my old friend.











Analysis

This is Cthulhu's favorite team.











Analysis

Berners would have won with better pitching.











Analysis

Kershaw and Bumgarner are probably the best SL pitchers from this decade, but there's also those other three. You probably should set your sliders to use the bullpen as much as possible.











Analysis

Will Nolan Ryan be your guardian Angel?











Analysis

The question is always whether Wood can hold up. Last year, he, uh, didn't.











Analysis

Okay, I got you some extra guys.











Analysis

Will this be the year of the ultimate plunking?











Analysis

I admire the optimism it took to build that rotation.











Analysis

We'll see if Altuve can get on base enough to display his skill at TOOTBLANs.











Analysis

Modern Love. Driving me mad. Making me crazy.











Analysis

There are a lot of great names on this team. But you may need a better defensive 2B to unlock your full pitching potential.











Analysis

Maybe David Wright will die less than in real life.











Analysis

Get those dingers. Get em.











Analysis

Maybe Guy Hecker should be in the rotation since he's a competent hitter. I don't think the AI will ever use him to pinch hit.











Analysis

Please kill the Dinos forever, thanks in advance.











Analysis

This team shouldn't have won last year, and they shouldn't win now, but they will anyway.


Standings


Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
The Nine have one of the best lineups in the Dynamo League if anybody wants to supply the pitching

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


Lefty O'Doul to the bench, Phil Bradley to minors.

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?



Thanks McFreeze, much love. :glomp:

Only change before things get rolling, since I'm not sure if it's a screenshot error or not since everything else seems correct: Please make sure Mathews is starting at 3B against RHP.

Good luck, everyone!

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

DivineCoffeeBinge's Innsmouth Lookers and my Modern Love will combine to form

Scary Monsters and super freaks

I'm bringing all the pitching, I think.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



kw0134 and I are making a tag team.

Off-Brand Bears or something I guess would be accurate?

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Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
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Pander posted:

kw0134 and I are making a tag team.

Off-Brand Bears or something I guess would be accurate?

General Store Grizzlies.

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