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"I cut off a man's hand effortlessly." - someone who has never wielded anything sharper than a butter knife in his life and gets everything he thinks he knows about blades from anime. Does he imagine that a sharp enough blade is magic and just sails through flesh, bone, and connective tissue without resistance? Meat cleavers are thick, heavy, and sturdy for a reason: even if it's razor sharp, you need a good solid whack to cut through bone, and that's when it's firmly braced against a cutting board.
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Jan 2, 2017 15:30
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bend posted:That's not all that unbelievable really, it's generally not too difficult, you can even learn how on the internet. I know a bloke who taught himself how to pick locks when he was 13 so he could get into his dads shed and steal weed and beer, it's not a big step from there to " I can hear people next door, I better get in here quietly. OOH I know, I'll pick the lock", not necessarily a good idea mind, but if you had a good idea you probably wouldn't be committing burglary. yeah nah it's pretty unbelievable, my city's got a pretty high crime rate and there's no loving lockpicking going on, burglars go for unlocked doors or else they smash a window. nobody picks a loving lock on a loving house that has a person inside it in real life
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Jan 2, 2017 15:40
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DeusExMachinima posted:you guys would not believe what I saw at my most recent anime convention My favorite parts of this that no one has mentioned yet: - a single punch from a doughy cosplay enthusiast knocking out "several" teeth - the dogwhistle in the second paragraph that implies black people were tacitly supporting the beating - discount Pat Morita calling it "your beloved loving Japan" in a really derisive way, despite...being from there?
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Jan 2, 2017 16:48
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Non Serviam posted:Next time please put a letterbox around your post. Be sure to explain what part is funny, and add the emojis. You missed the tumblr reblog part that acts as the laugh track/aesop
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Jan 2, 2017 17:27
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InediblePenguin posted:yeah nah it's pretty unbelievable, my city's got a pretty high crime rate and there's no loving lockpicking going on, burglars go for unlocked doors or else they smash a window. nobody picks a loving lock on a loving house that has a person inside it in real life Yeah, you average burglar isn't exactly well trained and even if they can pick locks why loving bother? Just walk down the street in the middle of the day and test doors for that poor fucker that forgot to lock it on the way to work. Way easier.
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Jan 2, 2017 17:36
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InediblePenguin posted:yeah nah it's pretty unbelievable, my city's got a pretty high crime rate and there's no loving lockpicking going on, burglars go for unlocked doors or else they smash a window. nobody picks a loving lock on a loving house that has a person inside it in real life Or, if it's an old lock, 5 seconds with tongs and that lock is off.
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Jan 2, 2017 17:43
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Slime posted:Yeah, you average burglar isn't exactly well trained and even if they can pick locks why loving bother? Just walk down the street in the middle of the day and test doors for that poor fucker that forgot to lock it on the way to work. Way easier. To add, if you're a skilled lockpicker, you can go into locksmithing and actually just make tons of money legally, obviating the need to go around burgling.
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Jan 2, 2017 18:13
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InediblePenguin posted:yeah nah it's pretty unbelievable, my city's got a pretty high crime rate and there's no loving lockpicking going on, burglars go for unlocked doors or else they smash a window. nobody picks a loving lock on a loving house that has a person inside it in real life Technically, it was not lock picking so much as trying to break the lock to enter but some burglars tried to break into a house that I was in within the past year. Thankfully the lock was not as susceptible as some of my neighbors' but it was an unsettling morning when I realized the front door's lock did not work and the outside gate had been opened. The police theorized that they were targeting homes with people residing in them in order to find cash.
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Jan 2, 2017 18:32
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:"Grandma's dead LOL - mum" He thought it meant crying regular tears
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Jan 2, 2017 18:39
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And the mum in that quote thought it meant "Lots Of Love" or something like that.
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Jan 2, 2017 18:52
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Fathis Munk posted:And the mum in that quote thought it meant "Lots Of Love" or something like that. It doesn't?
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Jan 2, 2017 18:55
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King Hong Kong posted:Technically, it was not lock picking so much as trying to break the lock to enter but some burglars tried to break into a house that I was in within the past year. Thankfully the lock was not as susceptible as some of my neighbors' but it was an unsettling morning when I realized the front door's lock did not work and the outside gate had been opened. I think the difference between lockpicking and bruteforce attempts to break a lock open is important enourgh to maintain the distinction, particularly when discussing how realistic bat'leth dude's story is
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Jan 2, 2017 18:58
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Tfw you defend your domicile from a cowardly peta'Q who won't face you like a true warrior 😂⚔️😂
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Jan 2, 2017 19:14
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Bertrand Hustle posted:"I cut off a man's hand effortlessly." - someone who has never wielded anything sharper than a butter knife in his life and gets everything he thinks he knows about blades from anime. Does he imagine that a sharp enough blade is magic and just sails through flesh, bone, and connective tissue without resistance? My favorite was a troper years ago on the TT forums asking about the plausibility of karate chopping a person's head off. People coming to the thread were telling him no, that's really not a thing that can happen. But he just kept begging. "What if the guy was MILITARY TRAINED" "what if he went REALLY FAST" He was so desperate, he really wanted to write a story where the protagonist karate chopped a guy's head off, using one of his regular old human hands, but it needed to be REALISTIC AND PLAUSIBLE ISN'T THERE SOME WAY. CAN'T YOU FATHOM SOME INSTANCE, SOME CONDITION, SLLLLICE THE HEAD OFF WITH HIS KARATE TRAINED HAND????
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Jan 2, 2017 19:21
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sweeperbravo posted:My favorite was a troper years ago on the TT forums asking about the plausibility of karate chopping a person's head off. People coming to the thread were telling him no, that's really not a thing that can happen. But he just kept begging. "What if the guy was MILITARY TRAINED" "what if he went REALLY FAST" He was so desperate, he really wanted to write a story where the protagonist karate chopped a guy's head off, using one of his regular old human hands, but it needed to be REALISTIC AND PLAUSIBLE ISN'T THERE SOME WAY. CAN'T YOU FATHOM SOME INSTANCE, SOME CONDITION, SLLLLICE THE HEAD OFF WITH HIS KARATE TRAINED HAND???? I bet Black Dynamite could do it with his Kung Fu. 
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Jan 2, 2017 19:22
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Bertrand Hustle posted:"I cut off a man's hand effortlessly." - someone who has never wielded anything sharper than a butter knife in his life and gets everything he thinks he knows about blades from anime. Does he imagine that a sharp enough blade is magic and just sails through flesh, bone, and connective tissue without resistance? Some burglars in Spain got hacked up by their victim when he grabbed a sword recently. No missing limbs, but the results were almost absurdly bloody.  due to pictures of the wounds.
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Jan 2, 2017 19:47
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chitoryu12 posted:Some burglars in Spain got hacked up by their victim when he grabbed a sword recently. No missing limbs, but the results were almost absurdly bloody. Holy poo poo, they got wrecked. Even better (for the story), the dude who sliced and diced them was in his 60s or 70s.
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Jan 2, 2017 19:50
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flosofl posted:I bet Black Dynamite could do it with his Kung Fu. Why use your hand when you have a boomerang?
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Jan 2, 2017 20:22
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Lockpicking is actually loads of fun, you guys should try it: http://toool.us/equipment.html It's kind of like knitting, a fun little fidgety hand activity if you have a few minutes while you're waiting for something to compile or whatever. e: do not attempt to use it in a home invasion, you may lose a hand and all the other burglars will laugh at you.
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Jan 2, 2017 20:31
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InediblePenguin posted:yeah nah it's pretty unbelievable, my city's got a pretty high crime rate and there's no loving lockpicking going on, burglars go for unlocked doors or else they smash a window. nobody picks a loving lock on a loving house that has a person inside it in real life I'll rephrase then, It's not the most unbelievable part of the original story that someone would be stupid enough to try. Certainly more believable than the dude chopping peoples hands off, or someone getting there hand cut off and disappearing into the darkness rather than bleeding everywhere and passing out.
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Jan 2, 2017 20:41
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I know someone who owns a bat'leth. He doesn't keep it sharpened and instead uses it as a nerdy display item rather than a weapon because he's not a goddamn moron.
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Jan 2, 2017 20:54
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RoboRodent posted:owns a bat'leth. RoboRodent posted:not a goddamn moron. Yeah right buddy
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Jan 2, 2017 21:49
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RoboRodent posted:I know someone who owns a bat'leth. I'm not sure both of these can be true gently caress YOU BOBBYK
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Jan 2, 2017 21:51
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An Imgur post titled "BEAST MODE": quote:Thank god he did it too or that would have been weird. for those wondering what i mean by "Accidentally" i dont just break into the beast run in public, i didnt mean to do it in my work place and i certainly didnt mean to do it infront of my colleague.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:03
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Of course somebody who refers to it as "the beast run" totally did it by accident you guys.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:16
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bend posted:That's not all that unbelievable really, it's generally not too difficult, you can even learn how on the internet. I know a bloke who taught himself how to pick locks when he was 13 so he could get into his dads shed and steal weed and beer, it's not a big step from there to " I can hear people next door, I better get in here quietly. OOH I know, I'll pick the lock", not necessarily a good idea mind, but if you had a good idea you probably wouldn't be committing burglary. Source your dumb-rear end quotes.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:52
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RoboRodent posted:I know someone who owns a bat'leth. They really do look like the sort of thing that would instantly stab you if you tried anything beyond "gently waving about at arm's length".
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Jan 2, 2017 22:56
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Jerry Cotton posted:Source your dumb-rear end quotes. sorry for disagreeing with you I guess, like I said bend posted:I'll rephrase then, It's not the most unbelievable part of the original story that someone would be stupid enough to try. Certainly more believable than the dude chopping peoples hands off, or someone getting there hand cut off and disappearing into the darkness rather than bleeding everywhere and passing out.
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Jan 2, 2017 22:59
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flosofl posted:Holy poo poo, they got wrecked. Yeah, don't gently caress with real swords. $30 mall katanas can barely cut a 2 liter in half, but real swords kept sharp are going to gently caress up every bit of flesh they touch.
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Jan 2, 2017 23:32
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Jan 3, 2017 03:07
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I mean wouldn't it be really weird to be at home with your six-year-old daughter and then all of a sudden Rihanna started singing LOTR?
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Jan 3, 2017 03:15
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To be fair, at five my son would belt out Misfits songs in the car. Cause that's what his parents would listen to. Kids don't really start following pop music til like, 9.
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Jan 3, 2017 03:16
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And the daughter was.. Albert Einstein
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Jan 3, 2017 03:16
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Also how the gently caress do you "sing" Lord of the Rings
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Jan 3, 2017 03:16
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goose willis posted:Also how the gently caress do you "sing" Lord of the Rings Lord of the Rings Lord of the Rings Duh-duh-duh-duhh Lord of the Rings
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Jan 3, 2017 03:17
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goose willis posted:Also how the gently caress do you "sing" Lord of the Rings BAAA BA BA BA DA DA DAAA DUNUNUNUHHH NUNHNUHNUNUNHHH NUNUNNHHH NUUUUHHHH
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Jan 3, 2017 03:18
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 if you've never sung the theme to Dallas by using the word Dallas.
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Jan 3, 2017 03:19
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goose willis posted:Also how the gently caress do you "sing" Lord of the Rings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_eaAk57oUY
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Jan 3, 2017 03:32
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goose willis posted:Also how the gently caress do you "sing" Lord of the Rings The dwarves sang in one of them.
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Jan 3, 2017 03:34
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Jan 3, 2017 04:44
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