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HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

Raenir Salazar posted:

Imagine if youtube existed then.
these ideas for tanks are probably more deviantart

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Raenir Salazar
Nov 5, 2010

College Slice

HEY GAL posted:

these ideas for tanks are probably more deviantart

Sometimes you see some indie game devs who have a lot of community input will take time to upload a video where they publicly rebuke people for nonsense and how a lot of what's being sent is actively harming their efforts having to respond and sort through low quality emails.

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

Raenir Salazar posted:

Sometimes you see some indie game devs who have a lot of community input will take time to upload a video where they publicly rebuke people for nonsense and how a lot of what's being sent is actively harming their efforts having to respond and sort through low quality emails.
god i wish youtube existed in the 17th c
or twitter

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

Have you got any examples of some of those not-so-polite rejections?

Rejection letter, but then this kind of harshness is reserved for the margins of the original document.

SeanBeansShako posted:

Okay I am curious at what the nosense suggestions submitted. Like was it just stuff that wouldn't work or completely insane off the wall suggestions?

Some of the more memorable ones include:
  • Rolling fortress that would destroy the enemy by crushing everything in its path, leaving behind nice flat terrain for an offensive.
  • Various enormous battleship-sized tanks (think Ratte).
  • A tank made of 4 T-34s stapled together with another big turret in the middle.
  • One man jumping tank.
  • One man pedal-powered tankette.
  • Train-like segmented tanks.
  • Electrified armour that would melt the shell before it could penetrate.

HEY GAL posted:

god i wish youtube existed in the 17th c
or twitter

One of the punishments for the guys in my story is that they both were ridiculed in their unit's newspaper. I think it would transfer pretty well to Twitter.

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

Ensign Expendable posted:

One of the punishments for the guys in my story is that they both were ridiculed in their unit's newspaper. I think it would transfer pretty well to Twitter.
that's excellent, my dudes have to make a public apology if a tribunal finds against them. same deal, but with widespread illiteracy and a smaller unit


heh unit

TerminalSaint
Apr 21, 2007


Where must we go...

we who wander this Wasteland in search of our better selves?

Ensign Expendable posted:

  • Electrified armour that would melt the shell before it could penetrate.

Joke's on you, pal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_armour#Electric_reactive_armour

Pontius Pilate
Jul 25, 2006

Crucify, Whale, Crucify
How about any ideas sent in by random comrade that actually were practical and useful?

You said 90% were nonsense which seemed generous for the no nonsense group.

SeanBeansShako
Nov 20, 2009

Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.
I am just imagining a T-26 on a spring for some reason.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry
http://i.imgur.com/Bml43CO.mp4

http://i.imgur.com/1xa8PtO.mp4

http://i.imgur.com/Cn2eeyJ.mp4

http://i.imgur.com/6KMPdVg.mp4

http://i.imgur.com/MQoff9p.mp4

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

In regards to the UK's failure to effectively procure ships for the Royal Navy hasn't that been a historical issuse? I think I remember reading in some books on the Age of Sail about the poor quality of many of the locally produced British ships. Only a couple of the shipyards built decent ships and most of the better built RUN ships were ones that had been captured from the French and Dutch. The navy really didn't suffer to much however due to the ample supply of foreign built ships they kept capturing. Maybe Britain just needs to capture a supercarrier or from the USA instead of building their own crappier ones.

Jack2142 fucked around with this message at 07:12 on Jan 3, 2017

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

The prize money would be ruinous.

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009

Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa
You gotta be careful when issuing letters of marque, the smog in London is bad enough without privateers pulling Kutznesov to harbour.

BalloonFish
Jun 30, 2013



Fun Shoe

Jack2142 posted:

In regards to the UK's failure to effectively procure ships for the Royal Navy hasn't that been a historical issuse? I think I remember reading in some books on the Age of Sail about the poor quality of many of the locally produced British ships. Only a couple of the shipyards built decent ships and most of the better built RUN ships were ones that had been captured from the French and Dutch. The navy really didn't suffer to much however due to the ample supply of foreign built ships they kept capturing. Maybe Britain just needs to capture a supercarrier or from the USA instead of building their own crappier ones.

There are plenty of cases of ships (or classes of ships) being considered a bit rubbish but even if you just consider ships of the line you're talking of something like 1500 individual ships in service over 350 years, and ships of the line were outnumbered many times over by frigates, sloops, brigs etc.

The Dutch and the French did, in their turn, have the edge over Britain in ship design but these two nations were both the world's preminent naval power when that was case - following Trafalgar (1805) and for a good few years before that, British ship design and construction was at least as good as anyone elses'. In the 18th century the French were the first to introduce some proper science to naval archictecture thanks to the work of Jacques-Noël Sané, and were also the first to adopt the idea of standardised designs for what we would now see as classes of ship. The RN had tried something similar earlier in the century with the 'Establishments' of 1706, 1719 and 1745 but these were broad dimensions and standards rather than actual designs. The standards laid down were often too vague to be useful and at a time when naval archictecture was advanced quickly they became outdated. By the 1780s the Royal Dockyards were working on similar lines to the French.

You're right that many of the captured French ships were held in particularly high regard for their sailing qualities and were often cloned. But it's not as if the Royal Dockyards were incapable of designing and building good ships - to take a famous example HMS Victory was an 'all-British' design and was considered an excellent ship and a good sailer by the standards of first rates.

The Royal Dockyards had plenty of dubious management and political practises going on over the years but find an Early Modern era enterprise on that scale that isn't riven with patronage and backhanders (and compare it to the modern military-industrial complex!). Some of the deals between the Admiralty and the private shipyards read like a satire on modern defence procurement : The Vengeur-class was literally designed by a committee in a bold move to design and build a huge standardised class of Seventy-Fours, bristling with modern tech such as iron fishplates and bolts. The majority of the ships would be constructed in private yards in a sort of Public/Private Partnership that a modern government would be proud of. A lot of the yards charged over-the-top rates for the work in return for rapid construction times and to insulate themselves against predicted rises in the cost of timber. Many of the ships were found to be built from unseasoned wood which quickly rotted and there were numerous faults with the new iron structural parts. Despite being a standard design the ships differed wildly in their sailing qualities, with some (HMS Vengeur, for instance) being considered excellent and others (HMS Berwick) being derided as absolute tubs.

By the time Robert Seppings and Joseph Tucker became Joint Surveyors to the Navy in 1813 British ships were on a par with their French rivals and from this point on the British designs took massive leaps forward, bolstered by Britain's industrial lead. The next three decades produced some excellent ships - HMS Queen (1839) and HMS Albion (1842) were the last pure sail-powered three- and two-deckers respectively and were very highly regarded.

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle


Cool thanks for that, its been a few years since I have read about the period and I just remembered some stuff that like you said praised the construction of French Ships and brought up corruption examples in the Royal Dockyards ducking up ships, I remember the unseasoned wood problem you mentioned. I knew the British still built ships and built some good ones just issues like the current RN

I think this just goes to show military procurement has always been plagued with issues.

Tias
May 25, 2008

Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

HEY GAL posted:

Interesting overview

If I may: What are some of the most spectacular dick moves pulled off by middle ages/early modern age mercs or employers?

I'm thinking conflict balance changing stuff, but any clever/dastardly story would be very appreciated!

hogmartin
Mar 27, 2007

Jack2142 posted:

Cool thanks for that, its been a few years since I have read about the period and I just remembered some stuff that like you said praised the construction of French Ships and brought up corruption examples in the Royal Dockyards ducking up ships, I remember the unseasoned wood problem you mentioned. I knew the British still built ships and built some good ones just issues like the current RN

I think this just goes to show military procurement has always been plagued with issues.

I remember hearing or reading that one of the big benefits of Britain's North American colonies was a continent full of trees that had never really been harvested (certainly not on an industrial scale), while Britain's forests at the time were pretty well tapped out. Lots of the American trees also happened to be mature trees of types that lent themselves well to building ships: tall straight pines for masts, sturdy dense oaks for hulls. I can't find a source for that at the moment though.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

hogmartin posted:

I remember hearing or reading that one of the big benefits of Britain's North American colonies was a continent full of trees that had never really been harvested (certainly not on an industrial scale), while Britain's forests at the time were pretty well tapped out. Lots of the American trees also happened to be mature trees of types that lent themselves well to building ships: tall straight pines for masts, sturdy dense oaks for hulls. I can't find a source for that at the moment though.

I have this depressing hunch that Timber requirements have had a major effect on forests in Europe and North America. I remember reading somehere on SA that at some point the French needed a new fleet, and welp, no more oak in France. [Interstingly forest cover in France has returned to medieval levels thanks to a big forestry program post WW2, though to do this they picked fast growing species, austrian pine, I think.]

MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

Nenonen posted:

You gotta be careful when issuing letters of marque, the smog in London is bad enough without privateers pulling Kutznesov to harbour.

I came alarmingly close to dousing a coworker with coffee because of this post.

Trin Tragula
Apr 22, 2005

Ensign Expendable posted:

One of the punishments for the guys in my story is that they both were ridiculed in their unit's newspaper. I think it would transfer pretty well to Twitter.

The BEF Times (with which are incorporated the Wipers Times, the New Church Times, the Kemmel Times, and the Somme Times), 25th December 1916:

quote:

Things We Want To Know:

The name of the motorist who has a passion for collecting cows on the Bolougne Road, and what the natives think of his pet hobby

Whether a certain officer is shortly publishing a little song entitled "Why was I so careless with the boots"

Whether a Camp Commandant we know can give us a return of the number of dogs in his district; size, colour, and pedigree

I do enjoy when people arrive at more-or-less the same place by different routes

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


Imagine how sick a burn it would be to have someone tow one of your enemies' ships into your harbor only for you to very publicly assign it a negative prize value.

xthetenth
Dec 30, 2012

Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

There is an argument I've run across that French ships in the Napoleonic period were unweatherly and fragile, and were rather overrated, speaking of prize value.

http://navweaps.com/index_tech/tech-057.htm

FastestGunAlive
Apr 7, 2010

Dancing palm tree.
I'm reading a history of naval power during the AWI right now and the author notes that the British ships that performed well during the Seven Years War were beginning to show their age already. The French over the course of several years painstakingly began to build and train massive fleet in order to outnumber the British before declaring war. Once the British realized this they built fifty five frigates and eighteen ships of the line in two years. However there were funding and manpower issues throughout the war due to internal politics.

The author also mentioned that teak from British colonies in Asia was some of the best wood for shipbuilding.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

You see wood issues in other places as well. Part of the Enfield rifles stock design intentionally split it with a metal wrist piece so you didn't need such a long piece of wood. This was a direct consequence of wood in England being poo poo and worry over whether they could get Canadian timber in sufficient quantity during wartime.

It also noteworthy that the wood on Australian Enfields is some awful local poo poo. It's pretty but oh god is it prone to cracks.

That whole issue was later approached and solved by the Germans developing laminate stocks. No fucks given about wood quality there, and they even made some attempts at making Mauser stocks from early plastics.

The Soviets also went with laminates eventually, although that was more due to the advantages of the material than shortages. Siberia has a fuckload of trees.

Ensign Expendable
Nov 11, 2008

Lager beer is proof that god loves us
Pillbug

Pontius Pilate posted:

How about any ideas sent in by random comrade that actually were practical and useful?

You said 90% were nonsense which seemed generous for the no nonsense group.

There was a pretty functional no frills light tank that was no worse than a T-70, but also not really better. Also a convertible drive "moto tank" with interleaved road wheels that was seriously considered for trials, but then there was no niche in the army it actually filled.

david_a
Apr 24, 2010




Megamarm

Nebakenezzer posted:

I have this depressing hunch that Timber requirements have had a major effect on forests in Europe and North America. I remember reading somehere on SA that at some point the French needed a new fleet, and welp, no more oak in France. [Interstingly forest cover in France has returned to medieval levels thanks to a big forestry program post WW2, though to do this they picked fast growing species, austrian pine, I think.]
Certainly true in Sweden. There were strict rules about cutting down oak trees; the third time you got caught you were executed. Swedish oak still exists but it costs a fortune. For example, there's a Swedish whiskey that claims to be aged in Swedish oak barrels, but if you read the fine print only 10% of the oak used is Swedish; the rest is American.

Lobster God
Nov 5, 2008

FastestGunAlive posted:


The author also mentioned that teak from British colonies in Asia was some of the best wood for shipbuilding.

One of the surviving wooden RN ships, HMS Trincomalee (Leda class, 1817) is made from teak and was built in Bombay.

The other surviving Leda class frigate (HMS Unicorn) was built in Chatham from oak.



HMS Trincomalee

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

SoggyBobcat posted:

Didn't a bunch of mercenaries take over an island nation in the Eastern Indian Ocean, the Seychelles or something?

There was a recent attempt on the Comoros but I don't think they succeeded. There were a lot of cases in the Renaissance where Condotierri straight up took over mediterranean islands though.

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


Bakelite is a really sexy material



P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

Executive Outcomes in Sierra Leone is the most recent example I can think of for "decisive" mercenary intervention.

Saint Celestine
Dec 17, 2008

Lay a fire within your soul and another between your hands, and let both be your weapons.
For one is faith and the other is victory and neither may ever be put out.

- Saint Sabbat, Lessons
Grimey Drawer
^^^ Depends on your definition of "decisive" - Blackwater during Gulf War 2 had some "decisive" incidents. One of which led to them getting banned from operating in iraq.

SoggyBobcat posted:

Didn't a bunch of mercenaries take over an island nation in the Eastern Indian Ocean, the Seychelles or something?

The Comoros Islands.

This guy -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Denard

tried to overthrow the government like 4 times. And he was off doing other merc-y stuff when he wasn't trying to overthrow the Comoros.

OpenlyEvilJello
Dec 28, 2009

Speaking of wood shortages (heh), the Hundred Years War drove the price of yew through the roof.

SeanBeansShako
Nov 20, 2009

Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

aphid_licker posted:

Imagine how sick a burn it would be to have someone tow one of your enemies' ships into your harbor only for you to very publicly assign it a negative prize value.

Would it be worth the mutiny?

aphid_licker
Jan 7, 2009


SeanBeansShako posted:

Would it be worth the mutiny?

Using the period mindset as depicted ITT I'm gonna go with a strong yes

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

Saint Celestine posted:

The Comoros Islands.

This guy -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Denard

tried to overthrow the government like 4 times. And he was off doing other merc-y stuff when he wasn't trying to overthrow the Comoros.

Nah, there was a 1982 coup attempt in the Seychelles (and a 1977 successful coup).
http://www.csmonitor.com/1982/0120/012044.html

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

SoggyBobcat posted:

Didn't a bunch of mercenaries take over an island nation in the Eastern Indian Ocean, the Seychelles or something?
these dudes and their descendants took over athens and held it for 80 years

edit: teak is also resistant to rot caused by water, and I think it's resistant to worm as well.

HEY GUNS fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Jan 3, 2017

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

HEY GAL posted:

these dudes and their descendants took over athens and held it for 80 years

edit: teak is also resistant to rot caused by water, and I think it's resistant to worm as well.

The Roman Empire has such a terrible record of stabbing their mercenary allies in the back and it blowing up in their faces.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

P-Mack posted:

Executive Outcomes in Sierra Leone is the most recent example I can think of for "decisive" mercenary intervention.

In the Gulf War 2, a full bird colonel was murdered by mercenaries because he was going to recommend not renewing their contract (something about them murdering Iraqis for no reason)

Jack2142
Jul 17, 2014

Shitposting in Seattle

Nebakenezzer posted:

In the Gulf War 2, a full bird colonel was murdered by mercenaries because he was going to recommend not renewing their contract (something about them murdering Iraqis for no reason)

Wait an American Col. got ganked by PMC's?

HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

Nebakenezzer posted:

In the Gulf War 2, a full bird colonel was murdered by mercenaries because he was going to recommend not renewing their contract (something about them murdering Iraqis for no reason)
in 1635, swedish officers mutinied until oxensternia promised to include obtaining money to cover their arrears of pay as a war aim, it's called the Powder Barrel Mutiny. There was a similar labor action in 41

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HEY GUNS
Oct 11, 2012

FOPTIMUS PRIME

aphid_licker posted:

Using the period mindset as depicted ITT I'm gonna go with a strong yes
yes, the period mindset is that the sickest burn is worth anything, even your own death

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