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Shaggar posted:setting up a secure transport between you and an unknown party is literally impossible so faxing provides a workaround. shagger was 
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Jan 5, 2017 02:23
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Shaggar posted:setting up a secure transport between you and an unknown party is literally impossible so faxing provides a workaround. faxing on the other hand is totally secure 
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Jan 5, 2017 13:00
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today we were encouraged to update our headshots on the join.me "bubbles" one coworker didnt know how to resize his image and now there is a lovely set of butter yellow teeth filling his bubble
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Jan 5, 2017 13:17
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oh poo poo and im pretty sure this other guy uploaded a cropped racist minion meme photo
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Jan 5, 2017 13:18
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liveposting from the teleconference
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Jan 5, 2017 13:18
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i've suddenly hit upon the idea of a podcast collecting strange stories of the nightmare dystopia that is "the office".
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Jan 5, 2017 13:24
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Iridium posted:i've suddenly hit upon the idea of a podcast collecting strange stories of the nightmare dystopia that is "the office". you could easily gather material for at least a season without even really trying
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Jan 5, 2017 14:29
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Iridium posted:i've suddenly hit upon the idea of a podcast collecting strange stories of the nightmare dystopia that is "the office". please do this so I can send it to all of my non-corporate friends who want to leave their jobs for the easy, stess-free life of a cubicle farm
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Jan 5, 2017 14:54
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so the director of my group (manager's boss) is in charge of our bullshit Innovation Team. i've participated in this team for several years because it's easy, and yet looks good to everyone else. that's in spite of the fact that we're basically three people that do nothing but set up a now-annual hackathon. said hackathon doesn't really accomplish anything: it's just a big showcase to make it look like all our divisions are working together, and to be a sort of fun reward for the devs that get involved with it. we're working on setting up this year's and we're struggling to find a theme. we keep it broad so that the different levels of expertise with the divisions can find ideas for new products and poo poo, while the devs here at the parent company can still come up with employee focused poo poo. but the themes get so loving ethereal that it's like, why bother. alors. director has apparently been listening to TED talks to look for ideas for a theme and has now encouraged us to do the same. this is the list of videos that greeted me when i fired the site up to start listening this morning, and at least half of the titles alone make me want to stab myself in the eye. 
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Jan 5, 2017 14:56
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my company has fallen hard for the TED kool-aid too and it's just the stupidest waste of time and money
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Jan 5, 2017 15:22
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Podima posted:my company has fallen hard for the TED kool-aid too and it's just the stupidest waste of time and money don't sign your posts
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Jan 5, 2017 15:29
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hwLMBdnbXk a pro watch, also tell your boss to watch this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZBKX-6Gz6A ted talks use to be great because they didnt post every video, only the best ones. now they just post everything and it turns out they were mostly garbage. also tedx is total poo poo
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Jan 5, 2017 15:38
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Iridium posted:so the director of my group (manager's boss) is in charge of our bullshit Innovation Team. brb changing my signature to read Bullshit Innovation Lead
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Jan 5, 2017 15:45
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"I just want to make sure everyone has a strong sense of urgency about all of this, because we have to meet these dates." the dates that have slipped like eight times already because either the business demands changes, or because one of the systems we're dependent on is... well, still running Windows Server 2003, lol.
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Jan 5, 2017 15:51
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Iridium posted:i've suddenly hit upon the idea of a podcast collecting strange stories of the nightmare dystopia that is "the office". Do it do it do it do it
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Jan 5, 2017 15:57
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hwLMBdnbXk
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Jan 5, 2017 18:35
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Iridium posted:so the director of my group (manager's boss) is in charge of our bullshit Innovation Team. i've participated in this team for several years because it's easy, and yet looks good to everyone else. rejected-clickbait-titles.txt
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Jan 5, 2017 23:48
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anthonypants posted:sam hyde did a tedx talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yFhR1fKWG0
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Jan 5, 2017 23:50
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Iridium posted:so the director of my group (manager's boss) is in charge of our bullshit Innovation Team. i've participated in this team for several years because it's easy, and yet looks good to everyone else. holy moly
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Jan 5, 2017 23:59
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live passionately. come into my web playroom. ah, the power of vulnerability. why you should talk to strangers are you a giver, or a taker? it's time to reclaim religion.
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Jan 6, 2017 00:02
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that's the one and it should be your go-to whenever someone talks about how great ted talks are. doesn't even matter if it's a tedx talk
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Jan 6, 2017 00:05
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Shaggar posted:setting up a secure transport between you and an unknown party is literally impossible so faxing provides a workaround. at the federal government agency I work at we fax everything, no email to external parties for this reason
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Jan 6, 2017 00:33
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Iridium posted:so the director of my group (manager's boss) is in charge of our bullshit Innovation Team. i've participated in this team for several years because it's easy, and yet looks good to everyone else. unless you're close to retirement age you should either go all in on some seriously cool personal projects or find a new job because you're gonna stagnate hard once your useless group either finally gets cut in an acquisition/bad financial year/political battle or your company goes under you'll be hosed being rusty from your cushy gig
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Jan 6, 2017 00:48
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mishaq posted:unless you're close to retirement age you should either go all in on some seriously cool personal projects or find a new job because you're gonna stagnate hard i hear you, you're not incorrect, and this is on my mind regularly. the innovation poo poo fwiw is entirely separate from my group's actual duties. it's a side project thing that we volunteer to handle and it just, mostly, makes us look good to higher ups.
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Jan 6, 2017 01:08
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someone just linked me to this archive of a dude's posts back <this post was interrupted by a 7:27am call to my cell phone so that my boss can ask me if a DNS entry had been set up yet.> dude's posts back in 2002 about his own magical corporate adventure and it seemed very appro <he called back to ask how redirects work> very appropriate for this thread. https://sites.google.com/site/forgottenemployee/
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Jan 6, 2017 13:37
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mishaq posted:shagger nope. theres no way to securely send anything to anyone without first going through some kind of onboarding process. that's why we still use faxes. vodkat posted:faxing on the other hand is totally secure of course not but if you were following the conversation you'd understand its allowed for things like PHI under HIPAA.
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Jan 6, 2017 13:41
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Iridium posted:i've suddenly hit upon the idea of a podcast collecting strange stories of the nightmare dystopia that is "the office". http://hellofromthemagictavern.com/2015/10/12/32-offices-bosses/
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Jan 6, 2017 14:18
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CRITICAL ALL-DAY MEETING. folks in the office set up a conference room, most people call in. conf room phone is hosed and scratchy and horrible, real ear cringing poo poo. takes about ten minutes for manager to stfu so someone can get a word in edgewise and mention this. they pause to go get the facilities people to fix it, then decide to keep going anyway. "So, Billy, can you see my screen?" "No, I can't, you're using Skype for business and I can't connect because I only have Lync, so..." so instead, dude in the room basically has to read out all the data on this excel so that billy can interpret it for us. with the ear pain. this one's gonna be a clusterfuck.
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Jan 6, 2017 15:49
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Iridium posted:ALL-DAY MEETING. 
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Jan 6, 2017 15:51
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yeah we're building a p critical app, it needs to handle a huge amount of load, it peters out at about 200. a few managers, mine especially are freaking out over it, so they set up an all day session to get our vendors and our admins together. i should only have to dial in for a little while to drop some sage advice and then peace out. i'm attached to the project but this is distinctly not my problem, though i do need to have half a clue what these people are up to.
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Jan 6, 2017 15:56
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Iridium posted:handle a huge amount of load text me
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Jan 6, 2017 16:48
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Iridium posted:yeah we're building a p critical app, it needs to handle a huge amount of load, it peters out at about 200. a few managers, mine especially are freaking out over it, so they set up an all day session to get our vendors and our admins together.
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Jan 6, 2017 16:55
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Bhodi posted:haha i hope you're in the first quarter of the timeline, because load is not something you can retrofit onto a shittily coded app without either a complete rewrite or supporting it with unprofitable amounts of hardware lol well GUESS WHAT
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Jan 6, 2017 17:24
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https://goatkcd.com/1782 nws u know the score
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Jan 6, 2017 18:17
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we had to call the consultant on a cell phone to tel him the call in number for our conference call with him that is just us and him. idk why we didn't just call him directly.
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Jan 6, 2017 19:07
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Bloody posted:we had to call the consultant on a cell phone to tel him the call in number for our conference call with him that is just us and him. idk why we didn't just call him directly. poo poo this hit me too hard.
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Jan 9, 2017 06:56
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pages back but lol "are you a giver or a taker?" im the-giver.jpg  Iridium posted:scratchy and horrible, real ear cringing poo poo. mlmp this was last week but we had a multi-office, cross-team call and the tp worked beautifully, until someone tried to share their screen. somehow the host room couldnt see it but every other location could. while that happened, a group of people chattering on the side kept getting constant focus so I watched a guy with a haircut for a personality eat and gossip with two women for ten minutes while the screen flickered from blank to various powerpoints while the host desperately tried to get the camera to switch to him and kept asking if everyone could see the screen
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Jan 9, 2017 14:04
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french colleagues moved to a building with no wifi, no phones, and loud active construction- still better than conference calls
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Jan 9, 2017 14:04
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tech: "So the basic stuff is up and running. Do we want to create like a blank page on the system so we can do a sanity check there?" product manager, fingers over keyboard: "Oh great, give me the URL I'll test it." <room ignores her>
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Jan 9, 2017 16:13
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https://twitter.com/kenlowery/status/818501389554946048
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Jan 9, 2017 17:55
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