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Sunny Side Up posted:>How much alcohol do we buy? The caterers will bring what they're serving at dinner, but we are expected to purchase the alcohol for the cocktail hour and the open bar for the caterer (with their VT liquor license) to serve. For our wedding, we filled my parents' ancient rowboat with ice and then with wine and beer and let guests serve themselves. We had leftovers. I conclude from this that if you're doing just wine and beer you need about one rowboatful of booze per 150 guests. If you don't have a rowboat available, I usually estimate that each drinking guest will drink two drinks the first hour and then one drink every hour thereafter, so then all you need to do is figure out a) what kinds of booze you'll make available; and b) what proportion of wine/beer/liquor drinkers you have. Then you calculate how many drinks to a bottle of each and voilà! Buy less if your guests aren't big drinkers, buy more if you, like me, are from Nova Scotia. If you're serving liquor, make sure you have an appropriate amount of mixers, too.
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Dec 5, 2016 16:52
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I asked our caterer and they gave me a shopping list to take to the liquor store. We had leftovers but not a ton.
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Dec 6, 2016 04:43
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This time around I had a much smaller wedding so a lot of the extra stuff wasn't necessary. However, my first had 150+ guests, so I can agree with the idea of hiring a wedding planner if you can afford it with that many people. It's nice to have someone dealing with the minutia that will always pop up regardless of how well you've planned the day. EDIT: And there are very few legitimate reasons as to why you should be meeting someone for the first time as a guest at your wedding. Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 14:17 on Dec 7, 2016 |
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Dec 6, 2016 19:36
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19 o'clock posted:Let me know about any other questions you have about the day, though. I have 21 booked for this coming year already and have been at this for awhile. Always happy to share at least an idea or two from previous weddings. Wedding photographer here, same offer stands.
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Dec 8, 2016 04:49
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Sunny Side Up fucked around with this message at 02:21 on May 28, 2019 |
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Dec 10, 2016 18:20
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Is it generally cheaper to find a venue that doesn't package the food/booze with the venue (i.e., you find your own caterer)? We're in Cleveland and the places we're looking at so far do package deals that work out to $55-$70 per person (and that includes food, cocktail hour appetizers, and around 3 hours of open bar, with additional hours being available at $6 per person). In general Cleveland is a pretty cheap city so that sounded a little expensive to me, but I could just be wildly miscalibrated.
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Dec 19, 2016 23:05
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I don't know if it's cheaper to go your own route or not, but I can give you a reference point in that we're paying about that much per head for a venue in the Chicago suburbs. About $65 for venue, dinner, a couple appetizers, and 4 hours open bar.
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Dec 20, 2016 18:03
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overdesigned posted:I don't know if it's cheaper to go your own route or not, but I can give you a reference point in that we're paying about that much per head for a venue in the Chicago suburbs. About $65 for venue, dinner, a couple appetizers, and 4 hours open bar. Okay thanks. The price I was quoted at 65ish per person didn't include a $4,000 venue rental, so it sounds like that place might just be expensive.
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Dec 21, 2016 00:40
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Hi engagement/wedding thread. I am cross-posting from the jewely and women's fashion threads since my questions kind of touch on all three. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 6 months. I am planning on proposing, but need a custom ring. Over the years I have picked up that she is not a fan of the traditional gold with big diamond, but nothing specific about what she DOES like. She is a bit of a tomboy, owns more power tools than I do, is interning at a firm to become a licensed architect, and is overall loving awesome. We were at an exhibition for local artists about a year ago, and a really good friend of hers was showing some sculptures, but my girlfriend mentioned that her friend made some amazing jewelry that she loved. I recently tracked down the artist, and she does have some jewelry in her portfolio, and even currently teaches jewelry design at a local art school. My plan: Hit up the artist and work out a commission for a custom ring, using some materials I already have. What I've got: A budget of up to $7K About 3 carats of antique diamonds, ranging from 3/4 carat to tiny (grandmother's big gaudy ring she kept from her first fiance who died in France in WW2, willed to me) About 2 ounces of gold from the same ring, and two others My questions: Would it be normal to ask the artist for a few different options drawn, and propose without a ring? With a custom non-traditional piece, I am terrified that my girlfriend will not actually love what I end up with without her input. If I do propose before having a completed ring, is that going to be weird? It would be totally doable to take some of the stuff I already have, and maybe mix in some other stones/metals? $7K is likely enough to get something great, right? Any advice would be awesome!
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Dec 21, 2016 01:29
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Wow. Four hours open bar could be $65 by itself.
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Dec 21, 2016 02:09
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Mandalay posted:Wow. Four hours open bar could be $65 by itself. Yeah that is absurdly cheap. I kind of hate you.
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Dec 21, 2016 02:31
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Doom Rooster posted:Hi engagement/wedding thread. I am cross-posting from the jewely and women's fashion threads since my questions kind of touch on all three. You have two relative concepts: 1: Is it imperative that you pick out the ring and also beforehand? If you don't know what she wants, why not ask her after you propose? It's really up to what you and your gf want. 2: Really the only thing before a wedding is if you choose an engagement band. So you could choose your custom ring to have ready for the wedding and just worry about the band beforehand.
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Dec 21, 2016 05:52
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notwithoutmyanus posted:You have two relative concepts: What I ended up doing was having a fancy dinner one night and walking through a bunch of rings and settling on which one was it, and then instructed her to forget the evening happened. Could say it does remove some of the mystery, but she was still very surprised when it finally was in front of her in person 5 months later.
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Dec 22, 2016 20:27
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I haven't seen this request, and I feel like the general answer would just be "hire a videographer", but I'm having a cheapy backyard wedding in Feb and I'm wanting to accomplish a few things: 1. Try to document the days leading up to the actual wedding since I never have family in town and this is almost turning into more of a family reunion with a short boring part where two people are the center of attention 2. Record the ceremony 3. Leave a camera up and running on a table somewhere for people to leave messages for us but also to just record the whole reception all night from one spot Aside from a GoPro or Polaroid Cube Plus, what options would you guys recommend for a cheap budget? I keep coming back to the Polaroid Cube Plus because it's so small and with a big enough sd card (and being set in one place plugged in to a wall outlet) it seems like it will record for hours on end BUT I hate the fisheye warping it does (which is even worse on a GoPro) so is there an option I'm not considering? Are there any tiny camcorders for around $100 that will allow me to do what I'm wanting? Roulette fucked around with this message at 22:40 on Dec 31, 2016 |
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Dec 31, 2016 22:22
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Edit: my bad I didn't know all sale type things had to be through SA Mart Posting a link to a bridesmaid dress that's completely untouched. Just trying to get stuff out of my closet. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3803912&perpage=40 CeramicPig fucked around with this message at 05:48 on Jan 3, 2017 |
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Jan 3, 2017 02:24
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Doom Rooster posted:
Just curious: If your gf isn't into the traditional engagement rings, are you certain she's into a traditional proposal in general? Do you know that she'd want an engagement ring? Not trying to make you more nervous, but speaking as a person who is personally anti-engagement ring and anti-traditional proposal, it's worth considering. However, if you know that she would be down for it, I would say to get something very simple (and RETURNABLE) to be a place-holder ring, and telling her that's what it is. This could also serve as a nifty metaphor for being equal partners in marriage, designing a life together, or having a ring as unique as she is, [insert romantic correlation here], etc.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:22
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Speaking of rings, my fiancé and I seem to have decided on some wedding bands - a pair in this style. I think they're really subtle and pretty, but the pair will be about £500 for 8kt white gold and I just want a sanity check on that I guess? I don't know anything about what any of this stuff should cost. Is £500 a sane amount? We never spent any money on my engagement ring(my grandmother had it made for me with a diamond from her own engagement ring) so I've really no point of reference. I'm happy to pay it for something I'll wear everyday, but I don't want to be paying over the odds just because I don't know any better. Also, the internet seems to be of the opinion that white gold can and will turn a yellowish colour quite quickly, requiring re-plating as often as every few months. I super don't want to be re-plating my wedding band every six months for the rest of my life, but I can't stand yellow gold and balk at paying a premium for platinum or palladium. My aforementioned engagement ring(18kt white gold) that I've been wearing every day for over a year now looks as shiny and white as ever, though. Am I just being paranoid? Is the internet wrong about white gold?
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Jan 3, 2017 17:42
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floofyscorp posted:Also, the internet seems to be of the opinion that white gold can and will turn a yellowish colour quite quickly, requiring re-plating as often as every few months. I super don't want to be re-plating my wedding band every six months for the rest of my life, but I can't stand yellow gold and balk at paying a premium for platinum or palladium. My aforementioned engagement ring(18kt white gold) that I've been wearing every day for over a year now looks as shiny and white as ever, though. Am I just being paranoid? Is the internet wrong about white gold? It can require frequent replating, but if you're currently happy with you entanglement ring and plan to wear it with your band, getting it in a similar metal is probably best. It all depends on the quality of the metal and work. I will say though that palladium really shouldn't have that much of a markup from gold. Last I checked the actual metal was cheaper than gold and sold around the same price when it came to jewelery. A lot of jewelers will really screw you on the price for it though. Palladium is essentially as good as platinum (only less dense) and like a third of the cost, so they don't like it undercutting platinum, which is usually the "big ticket" metal.
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Jan 3, 2017 18:59
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floofyscorp posted:Speaking of rings, my fiancé and I seem to have decided on some wedding bands - a pair in this style. I think they're really subtle and pretty, but the pair will be about £500 for 8kt white gold and I just want a sanity check on that I guess? I don't know anything about what any of this stuff should cost. Is £500 a sane amount? We never spent any money on my engagement ring(my grandmother had it made for me with a diamond from her own engagement ring) so I've really no point of reference. I'm happy to pay it for something I'll wear everyday, but I don't want to be paying over the odds just because I don't know any better. I think we paid ~£200 for each of our wedding bands (one was 9ct gold, one was...I want to say titanium or something?) so £500 isn't too ridiculous. Mine is much thinner than that one but does have a few small diamonds set in. I have a white gold engagement ring and wedding band, I did get the engagement ring re-plated before the wedding (after having it for around a year) and I have noticed that both are slightly yellowing again now (weirdly the engagement ring slightly more so than the wedding ring). It's not glaringly obvious or awful though, mostly on the back of the band rather than the front and it doesn't suddenly look like a yellow gold band. I'll probably get both re-plated at some point this year, but I wouldn't say it has to be done every 6 months. Unless you are REALLY particular about having pristine looking bands...
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Jan 3, 2017 20:19
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If you're already looking on Etsy and you're worried about cost — my wedding band is vintage sterling silver and cost $15. My spouse's is titanium and cost about the same. You may be able to find a cheaper ring that is unique by doing a little digging in vintage shops.
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Jan 3, 2017 21:29
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Hey goons, bit of a dilemma: We booked our wedding at the end of last summer for August 2018, got a good package at a beautiful hotel, £14,000 for the whole shebang based on 50 day guests, 100 night guests. We both have good incomes but knew we would have to do some serious saving, both sets of parents have offered to give us some money. My fiancée is prone to anxiety at the best of times, she is worried about the cost of the wedding and if we can save enough. I'm confident we can but her mother is prone to having flavour of the month between her three kids. My fiancée is not flavour of the month and hasn't been for a little while. When they went to a wedding fair her mother was positive but she often is critical or uninterested in the wedding which upsets my fiancée (understandably). One issue is that on her side the only family attendees are literally her parents, her brothers and partners and three nieces/nephews. In contrast my mother is one of seven, my father is one of three and both side of the family are on good terms. So I feel like her mother thinks the numbers should go down but I don't want to cause my mother headaches with her siblings over who got an invite and who didn't. The last week or so my fiancée has suggested we review the wedding costs and potentially scale down or move it, which is fine with me. We could lose some deposit money but I pointed out if it's a net saving then it's not a dumb move. However my fiancée has also been suggesting we just save ourself the cost and stress and elope. While I find the prospect attractive I'm not sure how this would go down with my mother (I'm her only child) or her parents as their only daughter. I wouldn't want to do this and then have a load of fallout on the other end. Saving money would be a good move for us though, not just because we need to save a deposit for a house too but also both want to change jobs in the long run: retraining for both us will cost and may result in a salary drop down the line. So is this just familiar wedding problem stuff? Did anyone just say 'screw it' and elope? Was there any drama?
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Jan 6, 2017 19:46
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There is always going to be drama if you aren't doing it the 'conventional way' (or any way at all because people love wedding drama) but at the end of the day its your wedding; do what'll make the two of you happy.
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Jan 6, 2017 20:42
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Our families are similarly lopsided - my parents have 10 siblings between them, my husband's have one - but it's not about being 'even' on the day, its about having who you want around you. So if that means 40 members of your family and 10 of hers, then so be it. You will probably offend someone along the way but hopefully it's someone you don't see that often so don't have to worry about too much  Sometimes it can be a bit of a catch 22 in terms of who you will upset or offend with your wedding decisions but ultimately you need to do what makes you happy. If making both sets of parents happy is what will make you happy then stick with the plan and work out a compromise on the attendees. If there is a lot of anxiety about a big wedding then have a tiny one with immediate family only (like parents and siblings) and go for a meal afterwards. Or go to the registry office with just two witnesses and throw an informal shindig to celebrate at some later date. Or elope and have an awesome time by yourselves and just get on with your lives! All those options will save money and likely anxiety but perhaps not drama...
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Jan 7, 2017 11:47
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Yeah, we have a similarly unbalanced family, and both of our sets of parents are divorced so there are four factions. The only real problem was that one faction was only four people which made the seating chart more difficult.
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Jan 7, 2017 18:12
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Doom Rooster posted:Hi engagement/wedding thread. I am cross-posting from the jewely and women's fashion threads since my questions kind of touch on all three. As a custom jewelry designer for 13yrs, raised in the family jewelry business: *Yes- it is totally normal to ask for a few sketches *Yes-using your own materials is strongly encouraged, it makes things way more personal *Yes-7k is a good budget, but since you are providing the diamonds, etc. you will use far far less than that. Our customs using the customers stones generally averaged from $500 for super simple, up to $3000 for crazy detail using platinum. generally about $1000-1500 was pretty average for labor plus gold unless it was heavy. *You do not have the amount of gold you think you do. 2oz is 62.2 grams. However, you may still have enough gold to make something, but make sure the person is going to refine it or trade it for gold that has already been refined. Using the exact same gold with out refining and remixing it makes for a very poor quality, brittle product. You will also lose part of the weight of your gold when they take out the alloys. *No- it is not weird to propose without the ring. Lots of guys do it if they are nervous she won't like what they make. You have a couple options: ask her to create a pinterest of what she likes and you can create something based on that. This is good if you are ok with things not being a total surprise but still want the ring to be a surprise. Option 2 is to have the stones removed or just the main one you plan to use, put it in a nice display box and propose with that, then let her design the ring herself. Option 3 ask her to marry you without any of that stuff and then find out what she wants to do from there. Personally I am a big fan of option 2 as you have something to give to her in a traditional manner, it is a total surprise, and she can create what she wants.
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Jan 7, 2017 23:49
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We're thinking about picking up a (diamond equivalent) 2 ct lab heated oval blue sapphire (since I'm picky about quality and size... and I'm a cheap rear end) as a stand-in stone for an engagement ring. I'm not really familiar with how to shop for a high quality sapphire, and I'm curious if anyone has any references/sites to buy from/etc.
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Jan 8, 2017 02:24
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I am really upset this morning. I just woke up to a text from my maid of honor saying she booked her flight and her room for the wedding. Which would be really exciting if her room wasn't an air bnb several miles away from the wedding venue, which is attached to a bed an breakfast where we have a room block. She is traveling across the country, so I am not upset about her trying to save money or anything. She is a stay at home mom with one income and I know the trip is expensive for her. Which is why I went out of my way to secure a room for her at my future in law's house (which I will be staying at up until the bachelorette party myself) so that she doesn't have to pay for a hotel room, and also why I have offered to cover the difference between what she can afford for the hotel room and what it actually costs. She is also trying to rent a car to help run errands, which I specifically told her she didn't need since everyone else will have cars and the venue is walking distance from what we will need.Rurutia posted:We're thinking about picking up a (diamond equivalent) 2 ct lab heated oval blue sapphire (since I'm picky about quality and size... and I'm a cheap rear end) as a stand-in stone for an engagement ring. I'm not really familiar with how to shop for a high quality sapphire, and I'm curious if anyone has any references/sites to buy from/etc. A good quality sapphire of that size is going to cost you just as much as buying a diamond. Unless you are talking abut synthetic, in which case, I can't really help because I don't have experience with lab grown colored stones. However, I would say be careful buying colored stones online, even from a reputable source. The pictures they use are very rarely of the actual stone you are buying so you will have no way to know if it has some weird color banding or if the color is foggy and doesn't have a lot of sparkle. Again, synthetic is another story, but if you are looking for an actual sapphire, finding a store with a collection of loose stones, or access to them is the better bet.
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Jan 8, 2017 13:53
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Yeah we're going synthetic for the stand in.
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Jan 8, 2017 14:01
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Thanks for the advice everyone, we're tilting heavily in favour of cancelling the big wedding and going to vegas now, anyone who wants to join us can do and the rest don't have to worry 
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Jan 8, 2017 19:01
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Just got engaged 3 weeks ago, starting to talk about the wedding which won't happen till next year (april or later) and holy crap is this overwhelming. What the gently caress did I do to myself and my bank account 
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Jan 17, 2017 00:55
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Hey, I'm getting married and am terrified about the cost too! We're shooting for the fall and I'm panicking about everything and I think we have a venue which'll be a)nice looking and b) not cost more than half my savings to this point in life.
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Jan 17, 2017 19:10
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We're doing food trucks instead of a traditional caterer and its easily 1/3rd the cost and everyone is way more excited about it.
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Jan 17, 2017 22:19
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Orthodox Rabbit posted:We're doing food trucks instead of a traditional caterer and its easily 1/3rd the cost and everyone is way more excited about it. My fiance and I are doing BBQ for our wedding and it has been half the price of some of the cheaper quotes we got from traditional caterers, which is awesome. The problem we are running into now is the huge amount of extortion from the wedding venue. Like, they have an up-charge for everything, and we knew that when we booked with them, but they have added more this year. Like an outside catering fee of $350. The kicker? Every caterer is considered an outside caterer, because they don't have an in house one or even a list of preferred vendors. So right now my future mother-in-law is on the phone with them, reminding them that our contracts, which were signed over a year ago, do not have any clause in them about paying for outside catering. We also had to hire an officiant as opposed to using our friend, because the state of Virginia doesn't recognize online ordination. Most quotes that we have gotten have been in the $600 range. We managed to find someone who gave us a discount for booking last minute. It is ridiculous.
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Jan 26, 2017 21:03
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Loud Mouse posted:So right now my future mother-in-law is on the phone with them, reminding them that our contracts, which were signed over a year ago, do not have any clause in them about paying for outside catering. For better or for worse, if its not in the contract it does not exist.
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Jan 26, 2017 23:46
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I got the second floor of a restaurant that's also doing all the food and the booze. Nice wood inlays everywhere and they randomly have a room with a lot of stained glass to do the ceremony. Hopefully will work out well.
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Jan 26, 2017 23:55
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Commissioned a ring last year. Proposed last week. Settled on Summer '18. Now just to find a flexible and not extortionate venue in London!
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Feb 3, 2017 15:18
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Nephzinho posted:For better or for worse, if its not in the contract it does not exist. Certain aspects of contract law vary by state, and the service industry makes it further complicated.
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Feb 3, 2017 15:48
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Going wedding band shopping next week. All I want is a plain gold band. Why is this so complicated?
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Feb 3, 2017 17:15
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Tater Love 
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zakharov posted:Going wedding band shopping next week. All I want is a plain gold band. Why is this so complicated? Try Amazon, seriously. I bought 5 different bands, compared them in person and returned 4 of them. It was really painless and nice. Ended up saving me several hundred dollars (just make sure your bands are returnable).
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Feb 3, 2017 18:03
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We did both of ours through Etsy, if I'm not mistaken. Though my spouse doesn't care about precious metals and I'm allergic to them.
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Feb 3, 2017 18:16
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