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Invisible Handjob
Apr 7, 2002

by FactsAreUseless
I hate to keep bringing it up, but

looking at history

and looking at what the next year is likely to bring

aren't any of you still living in China afraid your lives will be claimed by mob violence? that poo poo erupts quick

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Invisible Handjob
Apr 7, 2002

by FactsAreUseless
like I am genuinely expecting some of you are going to go out like vilerat

Andorra
Dec 12, 2012

Invisible Handjob posted:

like I am genuinely expecting some of you are going to go out like vilerat

I'd watch a Michael Bay movie about Haier

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Andorra posted:

I'd watch a Michael Bay movie about Haier

:911:

Invisible Handjob
Apr 7, 2002

by FactsAreUseless
The Plunger

coming 2018 to a theater near you

Invisible Handjob
Apr 7, 2002

by FactsAreUseless
nah I really expect some of you guys to die though

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

I have a feeling that two of those target demographics will probably not have ample representation.

------------

I was thinking about the bike fiasco, and it is confusing me. Where do these companies get money? The bikes are often used in morning, at lunch, and going home after work/school. There are so many of them that there's no way they are all getting used for long periods. When I went riding with that girl, she used the bike for several hours and the total was like 7 RMB or something. That could account for the sheer numbers of bikes being put out, because otherwise there is no way they can turn a profit. It's like buying a billion shares of a garbage penny stock.

Let's say the average bike makes about 30 RMB per day. I feel like that's being quite generous with the low rates they charge. You'll need 1000 bikes to pull in 30k RMB per day, which isn't that much when you think of the cost of bikes, parts, trucks, team to repair, the app, the office, the warehouses, the shipping, etc., etc. So then might need 10k bikes, littering every street in the city with these stupid things, and clogging sidewalks and exits (this is becoming normal now).
Do they scrap the entire bike when people trash them, or just use parts? How much do the repair people make? How much is the CEO paying himself? The truck drivers for deliver and pick-up these things? The app team? It all goes down the line of costs and costs.
What about all of the broken bikes that are not reported as broken, so they sit there not making any money? What about all of the bikes that are in piles together, bushes, on someone's balcony, etc.? There's no way a team of people can keep track of finding every single one of these things that show up on a population map.

So only a certain percentage of these rubber shitheaps are making money. That doesn't even count in the rainy days when usage goes way down as locals are terrified of rain. How many thousands and thousands of these bikes will it take to break even? It has to be a constant repair/replace scheme, and there must be a lot of people who work doing that on a daily basis. It's just money to spend on this project.

I am not an accountant, so I cannot comment, but when I think of all this together, if the government isn't throwing billions of RMB at them to stay afloat, how in the frick do they not close business after a few months?

I feel like it would take a few unruly teenagers and apathetic users to ruin enough of these bikes over a period of time that they would break the system and be too costly to make up the difference. Also, a pair of wire cutters is, AFAIK, all it takes to cut off the plastic bits withe GPS and, hey, free bike. Just pay the fee and say you're finished using it, and then carry up to your room and make it yours.


Invisible Handjob posted:

I hate to keep bringing it up, but

looking at history

and looking at what the next year is likely to bring

aren't any of you still living in China afraid your lives will be claimed by mob violence? that poo poo erupts quick
I am sure any mob "justice" that will happen will be quietly contained and the foreign deaths reported as Hit and Run traffic accidents. With all of the anti-foreign prejudice instilled in them since birth, I have no doubt that angry dudes will go around looking for laowais to beat just because they now can for any reason they want. We are all defiling their women and its time for payback. The trade war thing is just a bonus. I read on reddit last year that that was a thing in Beijing for a while in the expat bar areas, and there were roving groups of older Chinese guys looking for foreigners to beat up when they saw them with Chinese girls. LMAO

I have no idea what I would do, but down here people are more relaxed than other parts of China. I could walk to the HK border from where I am (better to skateboard, as it's also a weapon and the dirty fighters here all recognize that). My boss could just drive me the SZ/HK airport while I use my phone to buy an Air Asia flight to wherever with a hat pulled low and an air mask on my face.
I do expect some good foreigner bashing stories from Beijing though. Street Shitters will be in full force up there.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Andorra posted:

I'd watch a Michael Bay movie about Haier

Please, David Lynch.

Jimmy Little Balls
Aug 23, 2009

Haier posted:


I have a feeling that two of those target demographics will probably not have ample representation.

------------

I was thinking about the bike fiasco, and it is confusing me. Where do these companies get money? The bikes are often used in morning, at lunch, and going home after work/school. There are so many of them that there's no way they are all getting used for long periods. When I went riding with that girl, she used the bike for several hours and the total was like 7 RMB or something. That could account for the sheer numbers of bikes being put out, because otherwise there is no way they can turn a profit. It's like buying a billion shares of a garbage penny stock.

Let's say the average bike makes about 30 RMB per day. I feel like that's being quite generous with the low rates they charge. You'll need 1000 bikes to pull in 30k RMB per day, which isn't that much when you think of the cost of bikes, parts, trucks, team to repair, the app, the office, the warehouses, the shipping, etc., etc. So then might need 10k bikes, littering every street in the city with these stupid things, and clogging sidewalks and exits (this is becoming normal now).
Do they scrap the entire bike when people trash them, or just use parts? How much do the repair people make? How much is the CEO paying himself? The truck drivers for deliver and pick-up these things? The app team? It all goes down the line of costs and costs.
What about all of the broken bikes that are not reported as broken, so they sit there not making any money? What about all of the bikes that are in piles together, bushes, on someone's balcony, etc.? There's no way a team of people can keep track of finding every single one of these things that show up on a population map.

So only a certain percentage of these rubber shitheaps are making money. That doesn't even count in the rainy days when usage goes way down as locals are terrified of rain. How many thousands and thousands of these bikes will it take to break even? It has to be a constant repair/replace scheme, and there must be a lot of people who work doing that on a daily basis. It's just money to spend on this project.

I am not an accountant, so I cannot comment, but when I think of all this together, if the government isn't throwing billions of RMB at them to stay afloat, how in the frick do they not close business after a few months?

I feel like it would take a few unruly teenagers and apathetic users to ruin enough of these bikes over a period of time that they would break the system and be too costly to make up the difference. Also, a pair of wire cutters is, AFAIK, all it takes to cut off the plastic bits withe GPS and, hey, free bike. Just pay the fee and say you're finished using it, and then carry up to your room and make it yours.

I am sure any mob "justice" that will happen will be quietly contained and the foreign deaths reported as Hit and Run traffic accidents. With all of the anti-foreign prejudice instilled in them since birth, I have no doubt that angry dudes will go around looking for laowais to beat just because they now can for any reason they want. We are all defiling their women and its time for payback. The trade war thing is just a bonus. I read on reddit last year that that was a thing in Beijing for a while in the expat bar areas, and there were roving groups of older Chinese guys looking for foreigners to beat up when they saw them with Chinese girls. LMAO

I have no idea what I would do, but down here people are more relaxed than other parts of China. I could walk to the HK border from where I am (better to skateboard, as it's also a weapon and the dirty fighters here all recognize that). My boss could just drive me the SZ/HK airport while I use my phone to buy an Air Asia flight to wherever with a hat pulled low and an air mask on my face.
I do expect some good foreigner bashing stories from Beijing though. Street Shitters will be in full force up there.

Those bikes probably cost a couple of hundred rmb at most. Bike repairs are really cheap here, like anything costs less than 10 rmb, and these are standardised and mass produced so would be even cheaper than usual. Trucks to move them around are also really cheap, when we moved house we got a full sized truck and 4 guys for about 4 or 5 hours and it cost 300rmb. They should pay for themselves pretty quickly

Mr. Fix It
Oct 26, 2000

💀ayyy💀


Outrail posted:

Please, David Lynch.

While a Lynchian interpretation of Haier's plungings would be intriguing, I think you're missing the reference to the actual movie that Michael Bay made about Benghazi, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.

Evil Agita
Feb 25, 2005

Lord Fool, give me another chance. I'll prove my strength to you!

Haier posted:

Basically, I associate Pidgin with a lousy quality of life. Yes, I know people in the better areas and rich houses can also speak Pidgin (or have that uncle that can), but I wasn't there to experience those people. I was around the the other Pidgin speakers.

Born and raised as a haole in Waianae, and have lived all over Oahu. Totally don't have the same reaction to pidgin as you.

And you better not be implying im some fancy bitch from Hawaii Kai.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Only david lynch could accurately capture the dream-like horror of the peanut story.

Invisible Handjob
Apr 7, 2002

by FactsAreUseless

Haier posted:

I have no idea what I would do,

not going to be 'would do', it's 'will do'. good you have formulated a plan though

I also expect beijing to be the epicenter of mob justice

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Evil Agita posted:

Born and raised as a haole in Waianae, and have lived all over Oahu. Totally don't have the same reaction to pidgin as you.

And you better not be implying im some fancy bitch from Hawaii Kai.
Foh, wahine, so salty. Yu try botha me? U expek choke emotion? I no act u know? Fancy bitch or no, we have diffrin kine situation. Jus bcuz I talk stink the pidgin no mean I sum kine. No mattah. I get it. Everybody no like I no kea pidgin. I no lolo.

Does any of this matter? No.

Evil Agita
Feb 25, 2005

Lord Fool, give me another chance. I'll prove my strength to you!
Haha, I think I get why you fit in better in China than you do in hawaii.

Oh well, carry on.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Invisible Handjob posted:

I hate to keep bringing it up, but

looking at history

and looking at what the next year is likely to bring

aren't any of you still living in China afraid your lives will be claimed by mob violence? that poo poo erupts quick

Dude, we already said that last year or whatever that poo poo with the chinese stocks went down. Then TGA didn't even respond to my question about his exit plans and now look at his posts. Just a few months more and he's out.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Evil Agita posted:

Haha, I think I get why you fit in better in China than you do in hawaii.

Oh well, carry on.
I am not sure what you're getting at, except that our opinions and experiences differ on something.

JaucheCharly posted:

Dude, we already said that last year or whatever that poo poo with the chinese stocks went down. Then TGA didn't even respond to my question about his exit plans and now look at his posts. Just a few months more and he's out.
Did he ever post those photos about something?

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
https://www.hongkongfp.com/2017/01/18/china-orders-local-meteorological-bureaus-stop-issuing-smog-alerts/

quote:

China’s Meteorological Administration notified local bureaus Tuesday to “immediately stop issuing smog alerts”, according to a photo of a notice posted on China’s Twitter-like social media platform Weibo.'

Instead, the local departments can issue alerts for “fog” when visibility is less than 10 km, according to the notice.

The notice was issued because local “meterological bureaus and the environmental protection administration often disagree when they issue smog-related information,” a representative from the China Meteorological Administration told the Chinese website The Paper.

“A joint alerting mechanism will be formulated to consult how to and who should issue alerts for smog,” the representative said.

One single department will now be responsible for issuing smog alerts, The Paper reported.

"We were disagreeing on what smog is according to our machines which gave us both the same readings, so why not just ignore those numbers and everyone has a harmonious Spring Festival and rest of the year?"

The average citizen already thinks smog is "fog," so this will just make it better. I don't know which team is considered "wrong" in this matter, but we all know that the reports will be edited to look "better."

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002
Hell Gem
So what is to force people to actually pay for the bike rides? If they treat the bikes like such garbage why don't they also just get on one of the 80 bikes piled on the side of the road and ride without paying?

mrbotus
Apr 7, 2009

Patron of the Pants
I wonder how many people just remove the GPS and take the bikes? or maybe it just isn't worth the effort of having to take care of a bike rather than just throw it in a big pile with all the others?

Also, what are the odds that a foreigner could do the same thing without being confronted by a patriotic (insecure and angry) Chinese?

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Why steal a bike when you can just grab one from your local pile?

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
These bike piles really help to explain China's GDP numbers.

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

These bike piles really help to explain China's GDP numbers.

Gross Domestic Pedal numbers?

hailthefish
Oct 24, 2010

Gross Digit Peanutbrittling?

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

oohhboy posted:

Why steal a bike when you can just grab one from your local pile?

I totally don't understand this whole bike thing. What if the bike you rent is at the bottom of the pile? Why not just have free bikes everywhere since they are apparently too lovely to steal or scrap?
so many questions...

JacksAngryBiome
Oct 23, 2014
I thought nothing in china was too lovely to steal gor scrap.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Haier posted:

Did he ever post those photos about something?

I don't recall seeing them. Somewhere in India, they build shrines for him. "God of False Promises"

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Bum the Sad posted:

So what is to force people to actually pay for the bike rides? If they treat the bikes like such garbage why don't they also just get on one of the 80 bikes piled on the side of the road and ride without paying?

nickmeister posted:

I wonder how many people just remove the GPS and take the bikes? or maybe it just isn't worth the effort of having to take care of a bike rather than just throw it in a big pile with all the others?

Also, what are the odds that a foreigner could do the same thing without being confronted by a patriotic (insecure and angry) Chinese?

ladron posted:

I totally don't understand this whole bike thing. What if the bike you rent is at the bottom of the pile? Why not just have free bikes everywhere since they are apparently too lovely to steal or scrap?
so many questions...

To rent a bike with the majority of companies:

1. Desire to rent a bike and walk to the nearest one you see.
2. Download their super special app and make an account and/or login with your e-payment system.
>2.5. If you can't find a bike to rent, the app will have a population map and you can walk to the nearest one from their company.
3. Scan the QR code on the back of the bike.
4. The app will tell you if it's working and ready to go, or broken and can't be rented.
5. Hit the "OK" button in the app, and you can now slide this open to use the bike:



7.Ride the bike to wherever you're going. Don't worry about taking it down the stairs or getting it roughed up.
8. Get off and open up the app and go through the reverse process with the app and bike.
9. Your session will not be finished in the app until you lock the spoke-lock-thing on the back tire. The locking piece looks to be made of plastic, not metal (or maybe plastic covered metal).
10. Once you lock the tire and tell the app you're done, you'll be be charged your tiny amount of money for use.
11. The app may keep a GPS record from your phone and bike GPS, so you can see the distance traveled and supposed calories burned in that time.

Regarding Number 9, I think if you hop off for a moment and someone gets on and rides away, you may not be able to end your session, and you might get charged for their travel. You may also be able to follow their path on your phone.

From what I have seen on these lovely bikes is that the back-tire lock and the bike's GPS are all one little connected box. Take that off and the bike should be yours completely. The thing is that most people here are too lazy to park them standing up, let alone going through the process to properly steal one. If you can get one back to your apartment, it's as good as yours. That's what all these people did at my building, except instead of cutting off the GPS lock box, they left them on the common area near the elevators and were too lazy to take them down again and so a pile of them on each floor built up.

I am not even sure if the bikes actually have GPS. The app might just list the coordinates of the spot the last user checked out from, assuming the bike is still there.

EDIT: I am talking about the lovely companies that have bikes just parked anywhere. There are other companies that require you to park them at their locking station and are cared-for and like an actual legitimate bike-sharing program. I am not talking about those. Coincidentally, the ones of those in my area have all disappeared since the poo poo free-for-all bikes have been dumped off by the hundreds.

These are the good ones:


These type are the ones all over the place:

http://www.timeoutshanghai.com/features/Blog-Around_Town/40348/How-to-use-Ofo,-the-latest-bike-sharing-app-in-town.html

Haier fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Jan 18, 2017

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
I just searched and found some more info about the bikes scourge:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-10-30/uber-s-bruising-battle-in-china-is-being-refought-with-bicycles

quote:

In China’s internet warzone, there’s a road map for success: find a rich backer, get lots of money, burn it to buy market share.

The latest chapter of that playbook is being written by two young entrepreneurs each offering an update on a former icon of China’s communist party -- the bicycle.

In one corner is Dai Wei, 25, whose Beijing Bikelock Technology Co. cycle-sharing startup, known as Ofo, won about $100 million backing in September from investors including the venture fund backed by Xiaomi Corp. founder Lei Jun and Didi Chuxing, the ride-hailing giant that just beat Uber Technologies Inc. out of China. The funding is said to have valued the startup at $500 million.

In the other is Hu Weiwei, who received similar funding days later for her Beijing Mobike Technology Co. from a group including Tencent Holdings Ltd., the nation’s biggest internet company and, ironically, a long-term backer of Didi.

This is the trial by fire of China’s internet landscape, where alliances change in days and startups bleed billions of dollars offering freebies to get customers, only to merge months later so they can take on the next upcoming competitor.

“Tencent and Didi each picking a different winner makes the competition much more unpredictable and interesting,” said Cao Yang, Beijing-based analyst at internet consultant IResearch. “It really comes down to which founder can adapt faster and leverage resources better.”

Bike-sharing is hardly new. There are about 600 such operations globally, with a market that could grow by 20 percent a year to generate as much as $5.8 billion in revenue by 2020, according to consultancy Roland Berger.

Most, like Paris’s Velib or London’s so-called Boris Bikes are run or set up by the local government, often with corporate sponsors, and bikes are available from racks at set locations. What differentiates Ofo and Mobike is that users find and pay for bicycles via a smartphone app and then leave the vehicle wherever they want.

Each company is targeting a different market. Mobike has gone for high-end branding with bikes that cost as much as 3,000 yuan ($440) to build and have snazzy orange wheels, solid-core tires and satellite navigation. Ofo is targeting students with bright yellow two-wheelers costing only about 250 yuan that don’t have GPS and rent for just 1 yuan per hour, typically half that of Mobike. Beijing’s public bikes are free for the first hour and then 1 yuan per subsequent hour.
Mobike locates its vehicles via an integrated GPS. Ofo -- so-named because the word looks like a bicycle -- does so by tracking the smartphones of its riders and sending a code to unlock the bike.

“These guys all think they can be Amazon, hoping to burn money first and then make money later,” said Rawen Huang, Hong Kong-based founder of Petrel Capital, which invests in China’s internet space. “Will we look back in five years’ time and say ‘Oh my, I can’t believe they got funding at that valuation’? Probably.”

In the capital’s electronics heartland of Zhongguancun, where high-tech heavyweights like Lenovo Group Ltd. rub shoulders with startups and malls crammed with gadgets, two of Ofo’s yellow bikes stand in the hallway outside an apartment, which Dai has converted to a makeshift office.

“In the early stages of a company, expanding is more important than defending,” says Dai, echoing the insights imparted by his mentor Cheng Wei, founder of Didi. “The faster you use your money, the more efficient, the more money you raise, the stronger you become. Then you control the market.”

It’s a strategy that helped Didi beat off more than 30 rivals. At the height of its battle with Uber, both companies were burning through $1 billion a year, mostly to subsidize fares. Didi now handles more than 11 million rides a day across about 400 cities. While Didi has yet to become profitable, Dai said Ofo is already making money.

Bespectacled and soft spoken, Dai gained the support of Didi’s early investors Wang Gang and GSR Ventures’ Allen Zhu. The Peking University PhD dropout founded Ofo with four other students, ditching their original project on cycling tourism to focus on bike-sharing.

Wang was instrumental in helping Ofo find a “big tree to lean on,” securing not only financial backing from Didi, but also potential access to its 300 million users.

A 30-minute bike ride away, in a technology incubator called 768 Creativity Shejiyuan, Hu Weiwei landed an even more powerful ally. Tencent’s WeChat instant messaging app has more than 800 million users and already integrates things like Didi’s car-hailing service and JD.com Inc.’s shopping function.

The 34-year-old former journalist said the two companies are starting to “coordinate on certain technology aspects.”

In a second-floor office down a dark passageway, next to a communal toilet, Hu speaks in a low octave, punctuating her key message: “The fact that Tencent is investing in us shows that we share the same philosophy about products and technology.”

The investment from Tencent, along with Hillhouse Capital and Sequoia Capital, couldn’t have been more timely. Following Didi’s announcement it would back Ofo, users like Shanghai-based Mike Huang began unsubscribing from Mobike to get back their 299 yuan deposits on concern the company would shut down.

“It just shows you how important the big companies are for the survival of startups in China,” said Huang, an entrepreneur who has a women’s health app. He resubscribed after hearing about the Tencent investment. “Chinese internet companies are still in that phase of burning cash to win market share and the brutality of competition is even worse than Silicon Valley.”

Ofo and Mobike will need more than discounts to win users, they need bikes.

Mobike said it has about 30,000 bicycles spread across the major cities of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen, which have an estimated combined urban population of more than 74 million. It aims to stock at least 100,000 bikes for each city by year-end and expand to other cities.

Compare that with the more than 66,500 public bikes offered by the public transport corporation of Hangzhou, a city of about 8 million.

Ofo says it has more than 85,000 bikes, mostly on university campuses, and expects to take its service to other places in China. Both rivals are eyeing markets in Europe.

The ride-sharers are trying to reverse a decline in cycling in China, which spent the past two decades promoting cars. China had 670 million bikes in 1995. By 2013 it had 370 million.

For some Beijingers, the billion-dollar fight between Ofo and Mobike comes down to which happens to be more convenient.

“I don’t care whose bike it is, I’ll use one if I spot one and feel too lazy to walk,” said Guang Geng, who works in the Zhongguancun area. “Honestly I just tell them apart by color.”
That's the first I've heard of deposits. You can still trash the bike after you logout and say you're done using it. There is a lot of money being put into this, and it's kind of crazy that they have so much money put into them and they charge so little. I guess this is going to be a long-term thing here now.


http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/2062595/more-500-rented-bikes-many-vandalised-left-dumped-piles-near

quote:

Many of the bicycles dumped in piles near the city’s Xiashan Park had been vandalised, the Southern Metropolis News reported.

Numerous bicycle parts, including handlebars and baskets, were left scattered on the ground nearby, according to photographs published on Sunday.

Residents said the bicycles had been left there over the past week.

Many residents and motorists have previously complained about abandoned shared bikes cluttering up roads and blocking traffic, the report said.

One resident was quoted as saying that he believed local security guards had piled up the bicycles.

A volunteer maintaining bicycles for one bike-sharing company, who tried to remove some of its damaged bicycles, was stopped by security guards, the report said.

The guards demanded that a senior company official contact them before any bikes were removed, the newspaper reported.

A volunteer fixing the bikes.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

quote:

The guards demanded that a senior company official contact them before any bikes were removed, the newspaper reported.

They're getting bribe money! :homebrew:

Being a Chinese security guard must be the sweetest job. Do nothing but collect bribes.

big time bisexual
Oct 16, 2002

Cool Party
mobikes aren't going to last too long once every thief starts carrying a security torx bit set

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

big time bisexual posted:

mobikes aren't going to last too long once every thief starts carrying a security torx bit set



Why do that when you could rip the control box off existing bikes, create your own app, print your own stickers and become a parasite on the existing companies.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Outrail posted:

Why do that when you could rip the control box off existing bikes, create your own app, print your own stickers and become a parasite on the existing companies.

that requires effort and not cutting every corner

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug
The real money to make is to get investors to fund a new start up that hires people to chase down the bikes where you then charge the bike rental company a fee for every bike you drop off. Then just gather random bikes and dump them at spots and charge whatever number you want and when they don't pay, take the bikes and dump them on the next guy. When everyone stops paying, take all the bikes to the scrapyard, embezzle all the investor money and then buy a nice house in canada.

Spatial
Nov 15, 2007

I was about to post the likely answer to the bike funding question but The Plunger plunged first.

As usual it's venture capitalists being fed a fanciful story in exchange for endless heaps of money to burn. That's the nature of the unicorn hunt.

Many trendy tech companies operate this way, absorbing enormous losses that far outstrip their revenue. They have no hope of profitability outside of the lovely tales they sell to investors. They use their enormous VC funding to undercut existing companies at a loss and put out tons of marketing to grow their userbase extremely fast. When many people are using their service, they become a real proven company and they can project that the profit per user will transform from an uncomfortably large negative number into a quite nicely positive one within a few years. All it will take is using One Weird Trick The Government Hates, science fiction technology, and a lot more VC funding.

Trust me. It's different this time because we hav app :)

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Spatial posted:

I was about to post the likely answer to the bike funding question but The Plunger plunged first.

As usual it's venture capitalists being fed a fanciful story in exchange for endless heaps of money to burn. That's the nature of the unicorn hunt.

Many trendy tech companies operate this way, absorbing enormous losses that far outstrip their revenue. They have no hope of profitability outside of the lovely tales they sell to investors. They use their enormous VC funding to undercut existing companies at a loss and put out tons of marketing to grow their userbase extremely fast. When many people are using their service, they become a real proven company and they can project that the profit per user will transform from an uncomfortably large negative number into a quite nicely positive one within a few years. All it will take is using One Weird Trick The Government Hates, science fiction technology, and a lot more VC funding.

Trust me. It's different this time because we hav app :)

Pretty much the first two questions I would be asking would be. . .

1. How many bikes are you planning on operating in the first 3 years?
2. What is the hourly/daily rate?

Right at that point 1 second of mental math is going to tell you that this is not a feasible business model, and that bikes are going to be degrading and falling apart before they've even paid themselves off. Add to that the fact that there are maintenance and administrative costs, and there is no way in hell this could possibly turn a profit. I'm wondering if there was a part of the pitch where the founders said, "as you know Chinese consumers will always play by the rules and take good care of these bikes, as Chinese people are so considerate. . . not investing in this once in a lifetime offer would be akin to saying the Chinese people can not be trusted to use these bikes!"

<investor wires 2 million RMB despite knowing exactly what is going to happen, but does not want to lose face>

big time bisexual
Oct 16, 2002

Cool Party
haier how many times has this happened to you?

LentThem
Aug 31, 2004

90% Retractible

Haier posted:

Hilarious bike history lesson

Yo my favorite part of this (and it really says a lot about Chinese people) is that the primary motivation for using a bicycle is when you "feel too lazy for walking", as opposed to getting somewhere more quickly/saving time

That really just explains so loving much.

Fauxtool
Oct 21, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

big time bisexual posted:

haier how many times has this happened to you?



this is why you go swimming on the 1st date

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Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

LentThem posted:

Yo my favorite part of this (and it really says a lot about Chinese people) is that the primary motivation for using a bicycle is when you "feel too lazy for walking", as opposed to getting somewhere more quickly/saving time

That really just explains so loving much.
The speed that many ride the bikes is nearly the same as the snail-pace they shuffle at, but they get to sit so it's much more efficient! The danger is when they start moving at a speed faster than their walking speed, as they tend to get unwieldy and reckless, with reflexes dull from years of sitting in an office chair at school or work. Half the time they are trying to chat on their phones while riding, so it's not like they are paying attention to whatever is in front of them.
I can already tell that there will be higher traffic death rates this year as these bikes spread. These companies are getting many people riding bikes again who maybe haven't rode one since middle school, but they are trying to combine their poor skills with phone usage and general spacing out. Like ebikers and from watching others, they assume that there are no rules to road and they are the only thing on the sidewalks or in the streets.

Spatial posted:

I was about to post the likely answer to the bike funding question but The Plunger plunged first.

As usual it's venture capitalists being fed a fanciful story in exchange for endless heaps of money to burn. That's the nature of the unicorn hunt.

Many trendy tech companies operate this way, absorbing enormous losses that far outstrip their revenue. They have no hope of profitability outside of the lovely tales they sell to investors. They use their enormous VC funding to undercut existing companies at a loss and put out tons of marketing to grow their userbase extremely fast. When many people are using their service, they become a real proven company and they can project that the profit per user will transform from an uncomfortably large negative number into a quite nicely positive one within a few years. All it will take is using One Weird Trick The Government Hates, science fiction technology, and a lot more VC funding.

Trust me. It's different this time because we hav app :)
2018: "This is our official announcement that we are phasing out our wildly successful bike sharing program. We have learned so much from this company these years, and we want to dismantle it so we can use that knowledge to bring you something AMAZING in 2020! The only reason we are closing our doors is because we want to bring you more exciting projects. Really. Trust us. We'll bring the bike sharing back later, we promise. 2020, guys! Good things!"


big time bisexual posted:

haier how many times has this happened to you?


I haven't had the extreme make-up thing happen, but I have been a victim of the "Myspace angles" and face tuning apps that hid the fact that sometimes they were fat or had something going on with the face. I met one girl that had this massive scar on her face. She was beautiful, but the scar was there and it was obvious that she was embarrassed by it, despite it not taking anything away from her over-all attractive face (IMO). All of her photos had been "PS"d, and the photos we took together were taken with her phone and then sent to me later with the scar edited out. I took some photos of us together and sent them to her, and she sent them back to me also edited. LOL

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