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Xander77 posted:Exactly what you said - "JFC protagonist, the world does not revolve around you". Only in a funnier way. And you might assume that because delivering a special kid to be raised by the Glorious Strategist is kinda your origin story. Doesn't Master Li tell you that he personally stole you from the Dirge Temple? One would assume that he then brought you with him, and did not decide to play hot potato with a special child. Also I would've expected Zu to know who Master Li is, if he were involved in passing baby Spirit Monk around.
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Jan 18, 2017 22:02
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So what I gather from the story so far is that the emperor had to attempt the desperate but necessary act of killing a god who was subjecting his people to a devastating drought? Seems like he was the underdog hero of a classic "man versus god" story if you ask me. 
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Jan 18, 2017 22:20
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Bot 02 posted:So what I gather from the story so far is that the emperor had to attempt the desperate but necessary act of killing a god who was subjecting his people to a devastating drought? Seems like he was the underdog hero of a classic "man versus god" story if you ask me. edit: DMorbid fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Jan 18, 2017 |
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Jan 18, 2017 22:25
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You'd figure assassins had some ways of breathing underwater. Or is there something going on with the ocean now that the Water Dragon is dead?
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Jan 19, 2017 05:28
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theshim posted:I love those guys in the teahouse. Totally unremarkable mooks, but they just have a fantastic set of entrances. Another update, another kung-fu movie cliche, and that's a good old One thing I think is cool about the setting that's coming into play now, is the integration of the idea of the Mandate of Heaven, the idea that the true ruler of the land is made so by the blessing of the gods. As long as the realm is prosperous and fruitful and no disasters are happening (like eathquakes or flash floods, or indeed, a years-long drought), then that was a sign that the ruler and the rulers family are legitimate, and it's only when these things turn sour that things should be overthrown. It seems that Sun Hai was able to duck this trend, though, and in a most  way, too... Incidenttally, a big part of the Mandate of Heaven idea is that it typically eschews personal wealth and bloodline; the chosen ruler can theoretically be anyone from anywhere, which I'm sure will not come up later, not at all, no sir.
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Jan 19, 2017 17:16
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Doc Morbid posted:Having reread Dawn Star's earlier info dump on ghosts, I believe the idea is that some spirits can still get into the underworld normally, but those that are lost (due to their life having been painful or troubled) and have to be guided to the underworld (which, again, is the Water Dragon's job) are now screwed because they don't get the guidance they need and end up wandering the world of the living forever, and the number of these wandering spirits (which have always been appearing from time to time) has been growing over the years because the Water Dragon no longer guides them like it used to. The game hasn't been entirely clear on how all this works, but maybe we'll get a proper explanation later. I always understood it like this, but yeah the game isn't entirely clear on that issue. I just replayed the game (thanks to this LP) and I can't remember it giving a proper explanation. But I don't think it needs to, poo poo's hosed up and that's all that matters.
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Jan 19, 2017 18:48
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Episode 08: Wu the Lotus Blossom's Kitchen Nightmares Last time, we arrived in Tien's Landing and met Hui the Brave, a former soldier under Sun Li's command who was ordered by Master Li to wait here for his best pupil. Now that we're finally here after fifteen years, she has told us a piece of the Dragon Amulet is located somewhere in the ruins of old Tien's Landing. Unfortunately, the Lotus Assassins are also on the lookout for the amulet piece, so we should hurry.  We're not actually in any hurry whatsoever, so before we head out to look for the amulet piece we can take our time exploring Tien's Landing. Might as well start by checking out the rest of this teahouse. MUSIC: The Tea House  I can only assume this guy smells like a brewery.  Meet Ru the Boatswain. Ru here has apparently decided to be the one to close the dam and earn the adoration of everyone in Tien's Landing, but before he gets to that he has to build up some courage. He's clearly been building it up for quite some time now.  Yeah, I think at this point he might not be in any condition to go out there.  That is probably a good assumption to make. Of course, we're supposed to be closing the dam instead of opening it. Maybe he could close the dam by passing out and blocking the floodgates?  We leave the good boatswain to his binge-drinking. Also, this waitress doesn't seem to be too fond of the rowdy sailors hanging around the teahouse.  Speak of the devil. These guys probably saw how we beat the everliving poo poo out of their buddies a few minutes ago, so they don't try anything funny with us. Looks like their captain is having some problems keeping them in check.  Classy bunch of fellows.  This guy doesn't look like a sailor. Let's see if he has anything interesting for us.  Uh, okay then. Guess he doesn't fancy a chat at the moment.  Might as well be polite, though.   Unfortunately, this town presents scant opportunity for a suitable match. Seamstresses, barmaids, peasants... I may as well marry the harlots selling themselves in the street!Well, I'm sure a gentleman with such a winning personality will have no trouble whatsoever finding himself a wife.  Let's just back away slowly before he starts hitting on us. If you call him an rear end, which I should have done, his reply is "Your jibes can nary prick the armor of my pride; they are blunted barbs forged by the sputtering flames of your lesser intellect".  I certainly hope not.  Let's go talk to someone more pleasant, like this ogre. Uh... hold on, why is there an ogre in this teahouse?     No! Zhong not want to go home. Zhong doesn't want to see ox.And so we learn that ogres aren't always the kind of mindless brutes we fought in the cave earlier.  Zhong here obviously works at this old man's farm, but there's been an incident involving an ox and now things aren't going so well.  Despite acting civil for the most part, Zhong is still an ogre and smashing things is what ogres tend to do best.  Maybe the farmer will tell us what's going on.     I am Dong Ping, Zhong's employer. Zhong works on my farm. but the other day, he accidentally killed one of my oxen, and since then he has refused to come back. Some of the patrons here are unnerved by his size. I'm worried that if he doesn't leave with me soon, the owners may take matters into their own hands. If he gets hurt... or worse, I'll be ruined. I can't run the farm without him. But I don't know what else to do. He won’t listen to me.I guess we kinda implied Zhong was his slave there. Didn't mean to, it was just an awkward turn of phrase. Maybe we can at least help him out, hopefully without anyone getting smashed up.  You... will? I must warn you... Zhong is... well, he's very strong willed, and very strong. I am grateful for your help, but please be careful. Zhong the Ox Carrier came by his name honestly. I would hate to see him hurt you, or anybody else, for that matter. Speak softly to him, and you should be okay. Well, here goes nothing.  Zhong is voiced by none other than Mark Meer, who did a lot of voices for various creatures in BioWare games even after he was cast as the male Commander Shepard. Dude's got some pretty impressive range, although here he's just doing the kind of "strong but dumb" voice you might expect from someone like Zhong.  Speak softly and you should be okay, he said. Let's hope that works out.  aw    Ox was Zhong's friend. Zhong killed a friend, and now Zhong is bad. If you don‘t go back. your master will starve. Master have other ox. Master won't starve... master better off without Zhong. This might work.  You have been nice to Zhong. Zhong like you. Zhong hope you have good day.aw   Come Zhong, let's go home. With that, Dong Ping and Zhong leave the teahouse.  The owner of this place seems to have noticed our little discussion with Zhong. I can definitely see why an ogre in the middle of a teahouse might give some customers pause, even if he's as relatively harmless as Zhong.  The owner hands us 300 silver and walks off. We'll talk to him again soon enough, but first we have more of the teahouse to explore.  Let's see what this rather rotund gentleman is up to.   Okay. I generally try not to be a dick in these conversations, but there is no way I'm not picking this option.   It's too bad that people outside my home of Shangdang county cannot seem to stomach the delicacies that I prepare. They truly don't know what they're missing. l was recently at the Imperial City, and not one person there could eat so much as two of my dishes. Such weak constitutions, all of them.Fortunately, Chai Jin can take a joke, but it doesn't seem like most people can take his dishes.   For example, this dish of roasted cow heart sautéed with bile of leopard has a particularly nasty effect on one's constitution. Other dishes like my monkey's brain stew can have a negative effect on the workings of the mind. Still others can deplete one's spirit. It can be quite dangerous if you eat too much of one type of food... or if you are particularly weak in certain areas of your character. Okay, I think I understand the problem. This is the best idea ever.  Give me 300 silver to cover my expenses. If you can eat all three dishes in a row and stay on your feet, I'll give you back your money, and you'll leave none the poorer, but well fed! Remember though, these dishes tend to take a little out of you. I will describe the dishes that affect constitution first, followed by those that affect mind, and then spirit.I can't see how anything could possibly go wrong here.  Well, if it's fresh shark, then there's no problem whatsoever! This is kind of a puzzle, but not really as the correct course (heh) of action is quite obvious if you've paid any attention to Chai Jin. Basically all we need to do is eat one of each type of food.  The roasted bear heart seems like the least offensive of these dishes, so we'll go with that.  Now, the next three dishes are a bit more potent. Be careful what you choose. We have pickled haunch of deer served with brown beetle paste, cold eagle eye soup, and jellied eels stuffed with fermented seaweed. Take your pick. I'm pretty sure that is an actual delicacy somewhere in Asia. Hell, I've seen Ashens try more horrifying things than that in his international food specials.  And so we move on to the last dishes. These are some of the most notorious recipes in Shangdang county. Choose carefully. We have boiled ox testicles smothered in a succulent cream sauce, curdled porcupine bladder in clabbered rat's milk, and raw alligator eggs served in warmed goat's gall.    Since we already ate one of Body and Spirit dishes, let's finish off with a Mind one.  I couldn't possibly keep your silver after such an excellent display of digestive fortitude. I will gladly give back your 300 silver... or we could make this interesting. If you are really daring, I have one last dish that I haven't even had the nerve to try myself. I'm sure it's safe... I think. Well, there's no telling how it might affect us. Sure thing, what's a little death by poison among friends? It's not like we can taste anything ever again.  The ingredients are very rare and it costs me quite a bit to procure them. especially while I'm stuck in this... quaint village. I'll need another 300 silver from you. Of course, if you survive this final dish, I will gladly reimburse all your silver. I may even have a few treasures that I could part with.I totally forgot he got the recipe from the "loud, annoying foreign man"! We'll be meeting him later and someone in the thread already mentioned that the only foreigner in this game is voiced by John Cleese, so basically this whole sidequest is a setup to a joke about British cuisine.  This treasure had better be worth it.   Okay, that fade to black isn't very promising.  Well, how did it taste? What did it do to you?We're totally fine, it takes more than a bit of horrible food to take us down.  We had more than enough points in every attribute to easily pass this challenge. Now, if we were to lie and say "nope, it's totally safe", Chai Jin will in fact drop dead the instant he eats... whatever this was.  Please, take your silver, and take this. It's a small trinket that belonged to my family. I have no use for it, and you've certainly earned it. If you'll excuse me. I must go in search of new ingredients, for it seems you have eaten everything I have. Good fortune to you. Wow, that did some damage all right. Our spirit took by far the smallest hit. Our reward for doing all this is a chunk of EXP and the Bronze Tongue gem (Charm +4, Intimidation +4, Intuition +4), and of course we get our money back. Quite worthwhile in the end, although we could also have had Chai Jin eat that last dish and then looted the gem and our money off his corpse.  Over in this corner, we have an old man staring at the wall. He's a named NPC, so he probably has something for us.  Hey, that's not very kindly at all.   Sorry doesn't count for much. Sorry can't erase our mistakes. Sorry can't change the past. Who are you? I'm nobody important... nobody at all. And I have nothing to say to you. What are you talking about? Nothing. It's not important. Not anymore. Well, that was not what I expected from someone named Kindly Yushan. There's clearly a story behind all this, but right now we don't get anything more out of him.  That is everyone on the second floor, let's head back downstairs and talk to the rest of the folks.   Mother Kwan seems like a nice old lady.    Yes, yes. I owned the teahouse for many, many years. At least, I thought I did. But then Master Dutong came to town with that Imperial Writ. Oh my. wasn't that a shock!We, of course, met Master Dutong when he handed us our reward for convincing Zhong to leave.  He was nice enough to let me stay on here as a helper. I steep the tea, Yanwan takes the orders, and Master Dutong... well, he mostly just drinks his wine.  That sounds a bit odd.  It's totally possible that Dutong's writ was legit, but that guy seemed a bit dodgy in general so maybe we should make sure.  Oh dear. Yeah, we should check out that writ. It might be real, but Mother Kwan really should've known better than to give the teahouse to Dutong without even checking the writ.   All this talk is just the rambling of an old woman. Put it out of your head and enjoy yourself. It may not be mine anymore, but this is still a fine teahouse.If Master Dutong really has a legitimate claim to the place, I'm sure he won't mind us looking into this.  Before we go talk to Dutong, let's see if the steeper has any information we can use.   I'm sorry about that. I still can't get the hang of this new position. Sometimes I wish Old Mother Kwan still owned the teahouse so things could go back to the way they were. Right. About that...   Okay, I have to hear this advice before we do anything else.  That's... very profound.   Okay then. Here are the other pearls of wisdom Yanru has been told to memorize: - The wise man will always remember that falling leaves spiral downwards, but only until they rest on the earth. - If you drop a rock in a well, you'll hear a splash--but if you drop a feather in a fire, you'll hear something very different. - If you must sleep on the same bed, at least try to dream different dreams. - When one's foot knows what one's hand is doing, one is dangerous; but if the belly button has not been consulted, havoc will ensue.  We're not here for questionable proverbs, though, so let's get down to business.    Oh for heaven's... did none of you consider fetching Minister Sheng (or if he wasn't around yet, getting the closest thing to an authority in this town) and asking him to check the writ?  This is maybe a bit too much to assume when we haven't even talked to Dutong about the writ yet. If the line was "It's possible the writ might have been a forgery" or something to that effect it wouldn't sound quite so silly.  Problem is, Dutong's already shown everyone the writ, and now he's got it locked away. If you're right, he'd never bring it out again. There's no way to prove he cheated Mother Kwan.Again, we're assuming quite a lot here. We need more to go on.  If we go ask Dutong about the writ now he's like "do you morons actually think I'd show my Imperial Writ to every random person who asks?"  Usually I mix it with water so he doesn't get too drunk too fast, but I could start sending it to him unmixed. Don't worry about that. He never passes out, no matter how much he drinks. Actually, he usually goes through three stages of drunkenness. Dutong gets very friendly when he starts to drink. You might get a confession out of him then, but I doubt it. He's not really all that drunk at that stage. Usually after about seven bowls. he slips into depression and sorrow. He complains about how his life is worthless and what a bad and sinful man he is. Not a pretty sight.Seven bowls seems like it might be the sweet spot if we're going to get something out of Dutong.  I think there was a sidequest in KotOR where you had to interrogate a prisoner using these same mechanics.  The restorative tastes pretty foul, but it does the job. Works instantly and makes a man sober as an Imperial Judge. Dutong's guard keeps a vial handy at all times, just in case. The guard gave me a few vials so I could slip them into Dutong‘s wine when he starts to get paranoid. Keeps him from getting out of hand. Let's send Dutong some drinks.All right, let's get to it.  The Imperial seasoned spirits are a lot stronger. One bowl of that is worth three bowls of peasants' wine. And if Dutong gets too drunk, I have the restorative to sober him up. Got it. So we start off with some peasants' wine and then send him two bowls of Imperial seasoned spirits. That should get him talking.  ONE BOWL OF PEASANTS' WINE AND TWO BOWLS OF SEASONED SPIRITS LATER  When you see this cutscene of Dutong getting up and staggering around, you know you've given him the correct amount of booze.  Right, time to see what Dutong has to say about the writ.    Something is definitely up if he's reacting like that when we mention the writ.  Go ahead. We'll listen.   Oh, I'm a deshpicable pershon! A bad, bad man. The writ... it'sh a fake! A forgery. I made it all up!And there we have it. Dutong's writ was indeed a fake, probably made up by him so he could take over this teahouse and get all the wine he could drink for free.   The animation for the guard giving Dutong the restorative potion is a bit... lacking.   And now I have the strangest memory... as if I... oh no. Did I... did I say anything to you, stranger? Anything about, oh, I don't know... an Imperial Writ? What? No! I never said any such thing! I heard what you said, Dutong! I knew you cheated Mother Kwan out of this place, and now we have proof! You can't get out of this now! Ah. I see what you're after! Oh yes. Three Sheets Dutong was not born yesterday--or the day before that! Indeed, we are speaking the language of commerce. I will give you a great deal of silver to keep this little secret from getting out. Lots of silver for both of you, if you keep quiet about this.Sure! Or we could break his face, that sounds even better.   He does apparently give you a pretty decent amount of silver if you agree to keep quiet, but we're not having any of that poo poo.    That's the last we'll be seeing of Three Sheets Dutong.  I'll get right on that.  Dawn Star approves as well, as she tends to when we do stuff like this. Let's go tell Mother Kwan the good news right now.  Dutong's writ was a forgery. A... a forgery? Are you certain? Dutong confessed. The teahouse is yours again. That... that scoundrel! No wonder he left here so fast! Cheating an old woman out of her hard-earned living... the very nerve!  You've given me back the only thing I ever cared about... and you've done a service for this town, too. I'm going to turn this place back into a respectable, quality teahouse! It was nothing. I was glad to help. I don't have much; the only reward I can offer is my humble thanks. That, and a promise that you will always be welcome here at Old Mother Kwan's. That's all the reward we need.  Next time, we'll explore the rest of Tien's Landing and dick around doing more sidequests instead of following the plot missions! ----- DMorbid fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Feb 16, 2017 |
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Jan 19, 2017 21:05
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Waaaaaait a minute, what are you doing in China Count Rugen you're a torturer not a cook.
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Jan 19, 2017 21:24
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Shinji117 posted:Waaaaaait a minute, what are you doing in China Count Rugen you're a torturer not a cook. edit: oh goddammit I got Mind and Spirit mixed up during that quest, I'll fix that DMorbid fucked around with this message at 21:36 on Jan 19, 2017 |
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Jan 19, 2017 21:27
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Man, in a risk versus reward scenario why would you pull that scam on some provincial town? You'd have to keep it up for years and years to get any money at all.
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Jan 20, 2017 03:02
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It's not about the money. It's about
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Jan 20, 2017 05:30
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Glazius posted:Man, in a risk versus reward scenario why would you pull that scam on some provincial town? Because if you did it somewhere with actual money there would be people other than total morons and you'd be screwed. Also, as mentioned, the town actually usually makes quite a decent amount of money. It's just hosed right now because the river traffic is blocked.
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Jan 20, 2017 07:45
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I was hoping to get an update ready just in time for Chinese New Year, but I had to deal with a bunch of real life poo poo over this past week and just now got around to working on the update. I'm sure it's still going to be the 28th of January somewhere in the world when the update is posted.
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Jan 28, 2017 22:42
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Episode 09: The Beaten Baker Happy Year of the Rooster! Last time on Jade Empire, we nearly killed ourselves with disgusting food, persuaded an ogre to leave the teahouse peacefully, and returned said teahouse to its rightful owner. We still have the whole town of Tien's Landing to explore, so that is what we'll be doing this time.  Obviously I'm not including most loading screens, but I may occasionally throw one at the start of an update if there's some interesting lore on it. Poor Tiger Shen is looking a bit squat there because of the aspect ratio weirdness.  Dawn Star looks like she has something important to say, but when I talk to her she only has the usual "strange enemies, troubling plots" dialog. We'll go back to the camp at some point in the near future and see if she has something more relevant for us there.  We're not going there now, though; we're exploring the rest of the town like I said. Some sailors are loitering on the path and trying to convince some lady that they're actually nice guys and it's not their fault their ship crashed here, and people should relax and go drink with them.  We can't do anything with the sailors, so let's continue on to the southern part of Tien's Landing.  Maybe you don't see ghosts, but from the looks of things here it seems like you're not going to find too many fish either. There pretty much is no river.  Most NPCs in this area are generic peasants that don't have anything to say, but let's see if Chumin here has something for us.   Judging from the greeting, I'm going to hazard a guess and say he's a woodsmith.   There are several customers who owe me money, but with the dam open, times are hard. I can't expect them to pay me when they can't even feed their families. And if they don't pay me, I can't afford the raw materials to make my woodwork. It's a difficult situation, but I'm trying to make the best of it. You might be right. I'm a fine craftsman, but I'm not much for business. I extend credit too easily, and then I can't bring myself to collect. It's just not in my nature. I could lend yo some silver to get back on your feet.I'm pretty sure we could afford that.  All right then, we'll let him do things his way. We could also offer to help him collect ("I'm the god of unpaid debts"  ), but he refuses that as well. That's all we can do with Chumin right now, so let's move on. We find this gentleman next to the path back to the teahouse. Hey there Lishun, what's the word on the street?    In fact, I think your presence here is a sure sign that things are looking up. Soon all our problems will be solved... It's just like I kept saying.Are there any visitors who didn't crash their flyer next to the town like we did?  Things will get better. They always do. It's like my father used to say: The greater the problem, the greater the solution. I'm sure it will all work out.Uh, sure. I should go.  I suppose it is nice to see someone who isn't full of doom and gloom around here, even if that means they're slightly delusional.   Moving on. The large building here, also seen in the Tien's Landing version of the title screen, is the boathouse. While it would be grand to be able to take a tour, we can't actually go in there right now so that's gonna have to wait.  On the other side of the boathouse, we find this portly fellow.  There's a few people walking around, certainly, but due to  It's also not a big city in any way, shape or form.  Who are you? My name's Tian, but everyone calls me Big Tian 'cause I'm so big. I came to the city to try and find me a wife. So far it‘s not going so good. Say, you're real pretty. You want to be my wife? You could come live on my farm. I got chickens and oxen and lots of land.We're going to pass on that, of course, but Big Tian at least seems to be quite pleasant compared to that arrogant idiot Yaoru.  ...Oh. Well. Ugh. I guess his heart is in the right place and he's just too much of a simpleton to figure out minor things such as tact.  Oh... okay. Well, do you know any other pretty young gals looking for a husband? I don't know any eligible women.Yeah, we haven't really met anyone here in Tien's Landing who would fit the bill. Seamstress Lan is engaged to Baker Bei, and none of the other women we've met so far have said anything about looking for partners. I don't think Dawn Star is interested either.  He kind of reminds me of Zhong, just slightly more intelligent.   Enough of that nonsense, we've got a book to read. Jade Empire has a ton of lore stuff like this that sounds really cool but is sadly never seen in the game. Maybe in the sequel... (was what I said back in 2005)  Good luck with that, friend.  These two are talking about a game of some kind, but as far as we can tell they're just standing around. Let's see what's up with them.    Hrmpf. A wise move, but you know you cannot win. You stall this game the way you hesitated to learn of harmonic combinations. You must be bold, Vo. You are being rude, Jian. We have a guest. Let us place the game on hold a moment. Bunch of rude old men in this town, I tell you.  We are having our game of Yi interrupted. Playing without the board or pieces is hard enough without some stranger interrupting. Surely you know of Yi, "the capturing game?" Played on a board of nineteen rows and columns, the black and white pieces capture territory for their player. So yes, they're playing Go (or wéiqí, as it's called in China) without a board or pieces. In ancient China, wéiqí (or simply qí) was considered one of the four arts of the scholar, and one of the theories on the game's origin suggests it was an ancient method of fortune-telling cosmologists used to simulate the universe's relationship to an individual. That sounds like the kind of thing Jian and Vo here would be all about.  None. Too many people seek our guidance.You're the worst trainers ever.  And look where that got us! Your foolish devotion to the Way of the Open Palm drove you from my tutelage and made you weak. No more! End of subject. I'll leave you two to your game.I know when I'm not wanted.   I, too, see strength, but also the capacity for understanding the world and your place in it. You could prove an interesting pupil.That's sounding a little more promising.  I will make you an offer. Show me that you understand every nuance of the Way of the Closed Fist, and I will teach you how to bend the storms to your will through Tempest.Does that involve smashing flasks over your head and setting yourself on fire? (Spoiler: No, although it's still a good magic style)  The gimmick with Tempest and Stone Immortal is that their damage output scales based on your Closed Fist or Open Palm points respectively. Of course, this means that if you're Open Palm but think Tempest sounds cooler than Stone Immortal you're kinda out of luck even if you temporarily go Closed Fist (or cheat to get both styles). Tempest will just end up doing poo poo damage.  Wu has been a pretty stand-up gal, so I bet we're far enough on the Open Palm path to learn Stone Immortal.  Or not. We are pretty close to the required 50% Open Palm, so it shouldn't take too long to get there.  That's everything we can do in this particular area at the moment, so let's make our way southeast.   These must be the goons who keep beating up Baker Bei, Also, that was a pretty catchy rhyme from him, maybe he should consider a new line of work.  Ai Ling? That's a name we haven't heard before.  Since Ai Ling clearly commands a group of thugs and has told them to beat up Baker Bei for whatever reason, she doesn't seem like a particularly pleasant individual.   Hold on a sec. We got company. You're a little too interested in our business, friend. Looks like we gotta teach you to back off when Ai Ling's boys are working. Beating up some baker counts as work? Let's see what happens when they meet someone who can fight back.    That is what happens. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to hit him with the dragon AoE attack.    They... they might have killed me if you hadn't stepped in. Thank you. I never expected such help from a stranger. You spoke to Lan? How humiliating! My fiancee must have told you I can't protect myself. The woman I love doesn‘t have any faith in me! Oh, the shame! I'll never live this down. She's just worried about you. Yes, you're right, of course. I suppose I can't fault Lan for being worried about me. I've taken some serious beatings lately. I didn‘t mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just worried about Lan. She's very emotional. I've done my best to try and keep her from becoming involved in this. So why did those thugs attack you? Those thugs are acting on Ai Ling's orders. She's the head of their gang. They have a small hideout in the boathouse. Ai Ling and I were friends when we were children, but we drifted apart as we grew up. She fell in with some rough people... as you've already seen. Ever since I got engaged. Ai Ling has become obsessed with me. Every day she sends her thugs to beat me up. She says she won't stop until I go talk to her. She has to be doing this for a reason.I mean, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  At least the beatings on the street are out in public. They won't kill me in front of witnesses. Well, not on purpose, anyway.Silver linings and all that. Still, this seems rather strange. Why would Ai Ling send her goons to attack him if they haven't even spoken in years? Something doesn't add up here.  I'm being completely honest, I swear! I... I know how this looks. You must think I've done something to deserve this. But I have no idea why Ai Ling is after me! Maybe I could talk to Ai Ling for you.Bei does genuinely seem like he's just as confused about this situation as we are. The one person who will surely know an answer to all this is Ai Ling, so we're going to go meet with her.  We'll be heading back that way once we're finished looking around the southeast part of town.  Hm. I guess this is also the seedier part of Tien's Landing.  I don't actually remember seeing any fishermen in Two Rivers, to be honest.  Merchant Jiang here doesn't seem to quite understand how this business thing works. We'd probably spend some silver at his store if he'd just consider selling us something. I'm sure there's someone around here who doesn't turn away paying customers.  Maybe this lady here knows what she's doing.  [insert your favorite RE4 merchant line]   Regardless, it‘s good to meet you! I‘m Darting Lynx, the acrobat. Unfortunately, I'm not putting any shows on in Tien's Landing, if that's why you're here. Let me tell you, it raises a few eyebrows at first. That's why I tell people I'm an acrobat up front these days. I travel around the countryside putting on acts and sometimes teaching people a few tricks. Hey, now that I think of it, you're a warrior, right? I may not be putting on any shows here, but I could teach you a few techniques to improve your balance and speed if you're interested. How did you come by the name Darting Lynx?Training sounds fantastic, but we gotta focus on the important things.  I was quite young, and my master felt I was a little too fast for my own good. "You dart like a lynx," he would say, "but you balance like a drunken frog!" He taught me to slow my movements and really focus on what I was doing, but his nickname for me stuck.Incidentally, Drunken Frog would be my acrobat name.  Let's get down to business, though.  You'd think *we'd* be the ones having a hard time. I swear, if men had breasts they wouldn't be able to walk straight, let alone hold a handstand. Let's see what I can teach you. Darting Lynx sells a couple of gems we have no use for, but we're here for the techniques. Balance of Nature is the most expensive of the four, but it's also the only one that doesn't come with any negative effects. After we sell off our surplus gems, we buy Balance of Nature, Conditioning of the Body (Health +7, Chi -3), and Swallow's Grace (Charm +3, Intuition -1). We'll come back for Hawk's Elegance (Health -3, Focus +7) later, as we can't quite afford that one yet.  This looks to be the ship the sailors arrived on, now grounded until someone closes the dam.  Here's Captain Ing, who appears to be losing his authority over his crew at this point (the sailors at the teahouse mentioned that Ing told them not to go there).  Doesn't seem like these guys are much more receptive than their crewmates.   I've had enough of your orders! Now get back in that ship. I'm your captain, understand?Things really aren't going well with the sailors and their captain.  We should maybe go take a look at that dam before the sailors wreck the whole town.  You can actually speak to Captain Ing to get a sidequest, but of course I completely forgot to do that.  I'll get to it soon enough. For now, let's check out this walled area down here. Some of the sailors hang out here, along with another NPC we'll be ignoring for now.  Sorrows? What do you mean? It's no fun bein' trapped in this town. We don't know nobody, we ain't sheen our families in months, and now we're shtuck here. *hic* That'd drive anyone to drink. I'll be going now. Uh... okay then. *hic*Well, that wasn't very exciting, although it did tell us that not all of the sailors are assholes and some of them are just frustrated because they're stuck in this dump and people hate them because some of their crewmates are causing trouble.  Scholar Six Heavens is the NPC you talk to in order to start the Zither of Discord quest. There probably isn't any reason not to talk to him, but I decided to ignore him for now just in case. I'll come back with Wei Shen once we have the items Six Heavens wants.  This sealed gate always confused me. You can see on the map that it's just a shortcut between the boathouse area and the place those sailors and Scholar Six Heavens hang out, but for some reason it remains shut forever. I can only assume that was done for technical reasons on the original Xbox, to help with loading or frame rate or whatever.  Speaking of the boathouse, we should go see a gang leader about a baker.  This jerk is the reason we couldn't get in earlier. The door is locked, and we seem to have... misplaced our membership card to their exciting club.  However, since we met Baker Bei, we now have an extra dialog option that helps us persuade the guard to let us in.   All right, let's finally find out what the hell is going on with Baker Bei.  I'll try to make sure it doesn't come to that, but I'm also quite sure we're strong enough to take on a bunch of thugs and win.  It's a bit hard to see in the screenshot, but the person with the yellow arrow over her head is Ai Ling.  We don't actually need to go over to her, because the game takes over at this point and she comes up to us when she notices we're there.  Along with a number of horrible burn injuries, yes.  Huh, apparently we didn't kill those guys this time. I just generally assume everyone we fight is either killed or suffers gruesome injuries unless the game shows them getting right back up after the fight, but I guess these gang members didn't get too badly brutalized.  But we're not here to talk about those idiots, we're here to find out more about the situation with Bei.  That'll complicate things if it is true. Bei did mention that he barely knows Ai Ling these days and hasn't even spoken to her in years, though.  And he certainly didn't say anything about any marriage promises.   But the fact is, Bei promised to marry me long before that seamstress batted her brazen little eyes at him.If we're talking about the same Seamstress Lan, "brazen" is not the description I would use for her in any situation.   Yes, sending a bunch of thugs to assault the guy might not be the most efficient way to get him to come to your criminal hideout and talk things over.  Bei promised to give me all that. He promised to marry me. and now he's trying to weasel out of it. But a promise is a promise. I won't forget that, even if he tries to.I can see only one way to make any sense of this.   I'll go get Bei right now.Better drag him here immediately and get this over with.  After a quick fade to black, we're right back inside the boathouse with Bei (I'd have liked to see that conversation) and...  ...Lan, who is here as well. This is going to be awkward for everyone involved.    True or not, I'm sure she will take this well.   Don't pretend like you don't remember, Bei! It was summer, and we were sitting on a little raft catching fish. I was upset because Lishun had called me ugly. I was crying, so you took my hand and said, "I think you're pretty, Ai Ling. And someday, when we‘re grown up, I'll marry you." What? But that... that was years ago. We were kids. We were only six years old! You can't hold me to that!Okay. Time out, guys. This is getting silly now, but what I'm wondering is just how old exactly are Bei and Ai Ling supposed to be? Ai Ling seems like she's in her early 30s at most and they're the same age, but Bei was given the "middle-aged dude" character model and as such he looks as if he's twenty years older. Poor guy must've aged really badly. ANYWAY, back to the situation at hand...  Seriously. All of this was over some dumb childhood "marriage promise"? Come on, you're better than that.  But that same day, you gave me the frog back. You said you‘d never, ever, ever do anything to make me unhappy. Kids always say things like that. It doesn't mean anything! Ai Ling's expressions in this scene are a bit weird in general, with her eyes wandering all over the place, but here she genuinely does look hurt despite the ridiculousness of the situation.  Well, if we're going to hold people to promises they made as tiny children, let's hold Ai Ling to hers. The game also gives you the option to suggest that Ai Ling and Lan should fight to the death, which ends with both Bei and Lan getting killed. Then, Ai Ling blames you for causing the bloodshed and you kill her too (along with everyone else in the boathouse). This, of course, gives you the most Closed Fist points you can earn from this quest. Closed Fist totally isn't about being an evil rear end in a top hat who kills people for no reason.   You changed, too.You can still pick the super evil option at this point. We, uh, won't.  Instead, we've persuaded Ai Ling who finally comes to her senses.   Once again, we might be doing this pretty much 100% Open Palm, but we're still not going to refuse a quest reward because that would just be stupid.  Uh, you kinda already promised that when we said we'd help Bei, but thanks anyway I guess.    With the crisis peacefully resolved, Bei and Lan are free to go back home and presumably get married at last. Ai Ling realizes she's been unreasonable, and there are no hard feelings between them.  Well, Bei and Lan may have gotten their resolution, but what of Ai Ling and her hopes of having a family? Maybe we're not done here just yet. ----- DMorbid fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Jan 29, 2017 |
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Jan 29, 2017 02:47
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I'm not sure witless farmer man really knew what he was getting in for, coming to town to find a wife...
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Jan 29, 2017 05:01
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A little joke about Three Sheet's name. Don't know the origin, but being "three sheets to the wind" is a term for being drunk. So if the game didn't hold your hand this tightly between the old woman saying he wants his wine and the other guy saying he's a very specific type of drunk you could infer it from that, I guess.
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Jan 29, 2017 05:42
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I always kinda liked the Ai Ling quest, and the follow up to it that we'll cover next episode. It's soap opera-y as balls, right down to choosing some wandering martial artist to be an impartial adjudicator to your relationship drama, but there's a surprising amount of ways to handle it, and it's just kind of memorable. But yeah, pro-tip: if you want someone to notice you, sending people to beat them up sends the wrong message.
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Jan 29, 2017 05:46
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I wonder if someone on the writing team had binged on a lot of anime where the "childhood promises" are treated as seriously as legal contracts and just couldn't get over how ridiculous it is.
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Jan 29, 2017 08:22
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FeyerbrandX posted:A little joke about Three Sheet's name. Don't know the origin, but being "three sheets to the wind" is a term for being drunk. So if the game didn't hold your hand this tightly between the old woman saying he wants his wine and the other guy saying he's a very specific type of drunk you could infer it from that, I guess.  "Sailors at that time had a sliding scale of drunkenness; three sheets was the falling over stage; tipsy was just 'one sheet in the wind', or 'a sheet in the wind's eye'".
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Jan 29, 2017 14:06
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So the candidates for playing match maker are: -Arrogant jerk in the tea house in need of a broken nose. -Soft carpenter needing someone with a firm hand and a head for business. -Big dumb guy who wants a hard worker and lots of children for a farm. Have I missed someone?
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Jan 29, 2017 15:17
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Poil posted:So the candidates for playing match maker are:
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Jan 29, 2017 15:26
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I'm totally voting for the big dumb guy.
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Jan 29, 2017 18:49
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I've only ever set her up with the carpenter (who I figure is the "right" choice) so it'd be great if you could also show off the others.
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Jan 29, 2017 20:11
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I was only planning to show off the choice I made and describe what happens if you pick the others, but I suppose I could show them all (if not in the update itself, then in a bonus post later). I'll check if I still have a save file from this part of the game. I don't see why I wouldn't since I tend to always save in new slots (and end up amassing about a million save files by the end, thanks Fallout and KotOR), especially when I'm doing an LP.
DMorbid fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Jan 29, 2017 |
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Jan 29, 2017 20:45
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Doc Morbid posted:I'll check if I still have a save file from this part of the game. I don't see why I wouldn't since I tend to always save in new slots (and end up amassing about a million save files by the end, thanks Fallout and KotOR), especially when I'm doing an LP. One of the many terrible things about games with a single autosave is that they're incredibly annoying to LP. Unless they have a handy rewind feature. Xander77 fucked around with this message at 14:18 on Jan 30, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2017 00:10
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Without wandering martial artists, how would anyone ever get anything done?
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Jan 30, 2017 13:46
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Get Ai Ling to marry the jerkbag, wait until she murders him and gets his stuff, then set her up with the Carpenter
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Jan 31, 2017 04:03
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resurgam40 posted:But yeah, pro-tip: if you want someone to notice you, sending people to beat them up sends the wrong message. Sometimes people don't know how to express themselves. Kids might tease or bully their crush. Gang leaders might send their thugs to brutalize them. It's really kind of cute if you think about it!
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Feb 1, 2017 04:19
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Right, I'm having a bit of a technical issue here with Capture2Text. I upgraded to a 4K display, and now when I try using C2T I just get a garbled mess of letters and random characters. I guess for the time being I'll type up the dialog manually, at least for the update I'm working on at the moment. Spending Feb 14th putting together LP updates might sound like the saddest thing, but Valentine's Day isn't really a thing in my country (we don't understand the concept of romantic love) so it's all good. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
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Feb 14, 2017 15:27
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The Tech Support thread is there specifically for stuff like that.
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Feb 14, 2017 15:33
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Xander77 posted:The Tech Support thread is there specifically for stuff like that. 
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Feb 14, 2017 15:38
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Doc Morbid posted:an excuse as to why the update isn't done yet. Jade Empire LP Tien's Landing Curse. Got it.
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Feb 14, 2017 16:40
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To be honest, the real reasons this next update has been delayed are 1) me deciding to focus on finishing the GTA IV VLP (which is now done) and 2) a bunch of real life bullshit. Tien's Landing isn't taking me without a fight, especially now that I suddenly got Capture2Text working again.
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Feb 14, 2017 16:47
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I'm sure you want to transcribe an entire Bioware RPG by han---hahahaha no. Good luck with c2t. I finished that JE playthrough I started - so I can be freshly opinionated about styles! Also, the dialogue was better than I remembered - sure, there's a lot of nonsense but it has some surprisingly good lines tucked away here and there.
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Feb 14, 2017 18:04
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Episode 10: Matchmaker Previously on Jade Empire, we explored most of Tien's Landing and helped out Baker Bei, who was getting beaten up by the local gang leader's thugs. Turns out said gang leader, Ai Ling, was a childhood friend of Bei's and kinda hung up on Bei telling her back then that he'd marry her eventually. We convinced her that this was extremely stupid and she left Bei alone, but our job isn't quite over yet. As you can tell from the quest marker, Ai Ling has another quest for us and the name of this update (as well as all the posts since the last update) should make it pretty obvious what we're going to be doing. Before we get to helping her out, let's do a bit of exploring in her boathouse hideout.  I mean, we could just jump over that without even trying. I suppose that might make the thugs a bit annoyed at us, so maybe we'll look for a proper way in.  This proper way involves smashing up a vase and stealing the key that was hidden inside.  Now we can open the gate and enter the main office without anyone bothering us. The security in this gang hideout is not very good.   There are a couple of points of interest in the office. The first one is this scroll that describes the Land of Howling Spirits and has a few words about the Spirit Monks. Hey, that's us! Apparently, this was written before the fall of Dirge and the Emperor stealing the power of the Water Dragon.  The vase in the office contains the Gem of Evil Thought (+2 to Mind and Intuition), a unique essence gem that is always found in a random location. We found it pretty early on here, although we can't make use of it because the gem can only be equipped by a Closed Fist character. Its Open Palm counterpart with the same effects can be found in another random location. We could also help ourselves to the contents of the safe, a handsome 750 silver that nobody will ever notice has gone missing. Of course, we're nice people so obviously we don't do that. No, certainly not. Stealing is wrong, even when it's a criminal gang's ill-earned profits and we're an RPG protagonist. Ahem. Yes.  Now that we're done   I know I was wrong; I admit it. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm never going to find a husband. You could still find a husband. What respectable man would ever want to marry a girl like me? Even the lummoxes in my gang would only do it because they're afraid of me.People get married for worse reasons than that, so I'm sure Ai Ling still has some hope.  I have a reputation around town, and having my boys beat up Bei didn't help any. Any half-decent man would probably run if they saw me coming. Well, we've met a few eligible bachelors while exploring the town, so perhaps we can do something about this. Not that most of the guys we met are exactly prizes...  But don't think I'm desperate enough to settle for just anyone. I've got my standards. And I'd have to meet him first, of course. Tell me about the town's bachelors. Let's see... there's Ru the Boatswain, but he's nothing but a drunk. My boys have had more than a few run-ins with him over the years. He's definitely out. Hmmm... Chumin the Craftsman is single. I don't know him that well, but he seems like a good man. He has a home in the southwest corner of the town. And then there's Yaoru. He used to be a sailor traveling the Empire, but now he's looking to settle down. He might be a good catch. Spends most of his time in the teahouse. Anyone else? Not living in town, and Tien's Landing doesn't get a lot of visitors. But if you find someone looking for a wife, bring him by so I can check him out.And that leaves us with three candidates: Chumin, Yaoru, and Big Tian. As she brings up Ru the Boatswain as someone who is most definitely out, you might think you can do something to make him a viable option (this is a BioWare RPG after all, and you can convince people to do all kinds of things in these games) but that is not the case. Ru will not become an option for this quest at any point.  If you're playing a male character, you can try to get your  on and offer to marry Ai Ling yourself, but she declines because you're clearly not looking to settle down anytime soon. I could swear I picked the "you sure got over Bei pretty quick" option at one point, but it wasn't in the video so I must've forgotten to do it. Ai Ling basically says that she wasn't really all that interested in Bei and snapped because she thought she was losing her only chance to get married. She kinda just reiterates what she said when we talked to her at the start of this update. Well then, time to get to work. I will be showing off all possible options in a bonus update at some point, but for this "canon" run we'll be choosing the best option. The best choice, of course, is the one that your follower has a comment on.   Before we leave, let's check out one more bookstand near the exit. It's just a bit of lore about horselords, nothing too exciting.  Let's focus-sprint our way to the southwest corner of town and have a chat with our old buddy Chumin.  It's a shame my business is struggling so much. I really am a fine craftsman but I could use someone to help organize things and help me out with some of my jobs.Well then, I'm sure he'll like this.  You are well informed about our little town, stranger. It's true I've thought about marriage. Sometimes I've even thought a good woman could help me run my business better. Why do you bring this up? Do you know of a suitable young woman who would be willing to marry a simple craftsman like myself? Do you know Ai Ling? Ai Ling? The gang leader? She's beautiful, to be sure... but I've heard her beauty is only surpassed by her savage brutality! Why would I want to marry her? The Intuition check here makes the most sense, obviously.  I guess it couldn't hurt to go talk to her. Come on, let's go see Ai Ling.The other persuasion options work just as well, as far as I know. Chumin doesn't take much convincing. Let's see how this thing turns out...   Uh. Off to a great start. I think Chumin needs a bit of help here.  I mean, Ai Ling is the leader of the big criminal gang and kind of a rough-hewn sort in general, so we probably shouldn't blame Chumin for getting a case of the nerves in a situation like this.    Again, the only option that makes sense. The first one is obviously a lie, and the last one is kinda harsh even though it's not wrong.   At this point, it doesn't matter which of these options you pick. As the Intuition dialog spells out, these two just needed someone to introduce them to each other, and now that we've done that the rest takes care of itself.   I'll leave you two alone. You lived up to your part of the bargain and brought me a decent prospect. So I'll live up to mine: Here's the silver I promised you. I've never seen so much silver before! I've been owed it, but I never managed to collect.It's 500 silver. We, of course, recently saw a larger sum than that when we... put it back in the safe and most certainly didn't run off with it.   And with that, the matchmaking quest is completed. The boathouse is inaccessible to us from now on, and I'm assuming the gang is going to be disbanded since Ai Ling was saying something to that effect earlier.  Only one area of Tien's Landing left to explore, then. That must be Minister Sheng's office, Hui did mention it was "still smoldering".   Looks to be one of the sailors skulking around, taking an interest to this merchant's wares.   Yeah, we know where this is going, don't we?  All right, let's clobber this idiot and get the sword back and...   Hold on, here's Minister Sheng himself. As you can see, the man absolutely exudes natural authority.  The thief actually puts the sword back down. I can't say I saw that coming.    Fantastic. Can't wait to deal with this guy.  That is what we'll be doing next time. Who knows, maybe we'll get to go close that dam as well! This was a pretty short update, but I just wanted to get that matchmaking quest out of the way before we start the important stuff. ----- DMorbid fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Feb 15, 2017 |
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Feb 14, 2017 18:23
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Chumin was always hands-down the best option for Ai Ling, I think. And now we get to the more intense part of Tien's Landing.
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Feb 15, 2017 06:59
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"Good God man, there's all this bullshit going on, are you really going to add petty theft to it?" There must be something about Minister Sheng if he can make that work.
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Feb 15, 2017 09:39
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Bunch of periods stealing jobs from innocent commas.
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Feb 15, 2017 16:14
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Xander77 posted:Bunch of periods stealing jobs from innocent commas. DMorbid fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Feb 15, 2017 |
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Feb 15, 2017 16:48
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Doc Morbid posted:
Still catching up on the thread, but wanted to point out this mistake on the part of Capture2Text so you can fix it. The word here should be "I ever", rather than "lever".
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Feb 16, 2017 14:35
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