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bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Jastiger posted:

Professor isnt a rapist. Sounds like adults entering into an agreement.

How could your opinions about Des Moines and Lena Dunham be so accurate and your prefessor rape opinion be so bad?

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bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

loquacius posted:

Honestly in the current thread environment of blackmail sex, taking a peek in someone's dresser feels almost tame. Don't worry yourself about it too much; do have an open and forthright discussion with your girlfriend about intimacy, because even if she does sound extremely faithful, 3 months is a long time.

Woah, dodged a bullet there. Since she (probably) isn't cheating on you it must be one of the GOOD reasons she hasn't wanted to touch your gross dick in three months.

Android Blues
Nov 22, 2008

Hey incel goon, spoiler: men in porno all look like that because that's the male ideal for men. Studies show that women don't tend to care nearly as much about penis size as dudes do, and as for body type, women are also far less demanding than men, and also tend to have more varied tastes. Almost all the "gotta have abs, gotta have a big genital, gotta have biceps!" stuff is perpetuated for and by men. Women care about it some, but they don't care about it all that much.

Lesbians have the least body anxiety of any demographic because it turns out women are just way less judge-y about bodily perfection than men are, and don't mind if their partner isn't a supermodel. I hate to break it to you, but the reason women don't like you is probably because of the things you say and are.

Gloryhold It!
Sep 22, 2008

Fucking
Adorable
It also has to do with the fact that they're shooting for loving hours at a time. Literally in this case. So the guys have to be able to keep going for a long time.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
hire a hooker

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
i wonder how many of the confessions i post that in reply to it would help

i mean jon pop considers himself an incel despite loving hookers on the reg

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

I only skimmed the incel post but every word or sentence my eyes landed on was gold. 7" penis, hitler, men are disposable, it's solid incel gold.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
i remember a confession a few threads back about sexual surrogates that these incel goons who maybe some are real should read

Gloryhold It!
Sep 22, 2008

Fucking
Adorable
For real though, "incels" in general deserve to be mocked because they invariably have toxic as poo poo beliefs, blame everyone else for their problems, and most importantly take little or no effort to actually improve themselves. And those that do try, don't loving listen when people (women esp) tell them exactly what they are doing wrong.

Gloryhold It!
Sep 22, 2008

Fucking
Adorable
3 : 1 odds him wearing a trillby and cargo shorts

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Every "incel" type I've ever met reeked of pathetic pent up rage and entitlement from across the room. Everyone can pick up on this, specially women, and rightfully avoid them.

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
Women only want money and power, will not sleep with anyone that doesn't have a 7" cock.

*looks at parents, dating and married friends and colleagues*

Nope, only idealized porn star men with amazing bodies and wealth ever get laid

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Baronjutter posted:

Every "incel" type I've ever met reeked of pathetic pent up rage and entitlement from across the room. Everyone can pick up on this, specially women, and rightfully avoid them.

Though I have to admit it seems a little unfair that they can walk away from me anytime they want and I can't.

DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


every man who exists was born from parents and therefore contains the DNA of a man who was fit enough to get laid
there is no genetic or congenital excuse for not being able to crush mad gash

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

every man who exists was born from parents and therefore contains the DNA of a man who was fit enough to get laid
there is no genetic or congenital excuse for not being able to crush mad gash

But women now a days (sic) are not the obedient slave girls of the past that knew their place and yielded to any man that promised them a warm room to sleep in. They are liberated feminists that only want huge cocks and nothing else from a man. Then they steal his seed and make him pay child support.

Mr. F!
Sep 21, 2016

Here's a confession: I gently caress :smug:

Serge Painsbourg
Jul 26, 2016

Mr. F! posted:

Here's a confession: I gently caress :smug:

You sick bastard.

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
I don't like these confessions they're making me feel bad about myself and my place in society :(

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug
I think the funniest part of incel posts are how they always include something about their dick being "large and having good sperm" like women are a picky family out Christmas tree shopping.

"I have nothing to offer a relationship as a person but by god I have a massive dick and that counts, also women are massive size queens so where is my deserved vagina!?"

Delusion is the entertainment of this decade.

Personal Lucubrant
Oct 18, 2016

Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.
I think if someone wrote an algorithm to ingest all of the posts in r/incel and then create new stories from them, they would sound like that incel confession. It hits a lot of the major bullet points:

- Men are worthless
- Unattainable standards for men
- Women have more rights
- Tried PUA stuff, didn't work
- "odometer of cock" (from this greentext)
- Women only want power/money
- Women are amoral/inferior

Congrats, you're generic.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

loquacius posted:

Hi - I'm another incel goon on this forum. My confession is spurned on by the current "haha laugh at the FREAKS!" tone of the "r/incel" thread going in GBS. We do not deserve your mocking.

Men have become the disposable gender, and if you don't see that, I feel bad for you. Women don't need men any more - they have way more opportunities in the workforce, there are ways to get pregnant without a man, and media creates unrealistic expectations of what a "man" is. Girls, even at a young age, are taught to look for a big tough strong handsome rich man. How can I, how can ANYONE compete with that?

Women adore power. Hitler had a beautiful wife, and many dictators have harems of women. You see all the time about murderers on death row having women write them letters. Some even get married. How can a normal guy possibly build up that fame or power? He can't. Studies show more and more men are staying single longer, and it's due to the gender imbalance. Women have so many more rights than men nowadays. You can mock a man and laugh at him, make fun of his body. But you can't do that to a woman anymore. Sad state of affairs and it's going to doom humanity via low birth rates of smart people if we don't stop it soon.

And I've tried to pick up women before and be more sociable. I studied a lot, and watched a lot of movies and TV shows about healthy relationships. Even dug in a bit to PUA lifestyles since, despite how goofy they look, that poo poo works. But even my pickup attempts fail. Women don't want intellectual talk, they just want to know how big your dick is so they can add it to their odometer of cock. And that's not what I'm looking for.

There are way more of us out there than you think. We helped get Trump in charge so he can put a stop to this "women's liberation" poo poo. And I'm glad to see a lot of backlash against the protests on Saturday. But it's probably too late for me. I'm 38, single, and the world won't change in my lifetime.

Women manipulate, lie, cheat, and a steal. It's in their nature since caveman times. Men have the power to hunt, women had to be more cunning to survive. I don't hold it against them, but their reptilian brain still rules in most situations.

When they look at me vs a tall, strong, 7" penis man they instantly think of who gives them the most benefits. Sadly, it is not me.

I've seen this happen a lot. You watch porn enough, you realize the female performers come in all shapes and sizes. Male performers only come in one - muscular with 7"+ penis. That's the male ideal, that's all women want. We love all shapes and sizes of women, but dumb broads just want this impossible ideal.

hmmmmm

Devoyniche posted:

Ive said it before in this thread but I really dont think that is the answer. Just relating to women and treating them like normal people is fine, but if youre doing it thinking it's going to lead to sex it makes you a "nice guy".

These guys should go gay, but I dont think the world needs as many men anymore. There arent any wars and automation is going to put an end to manual labor one way or another. Most of the old "sexist" reasons to have a bunch of sons and men are kinda dead and women out preform men (there are studies on this, women go to college more, get jobs more often, and even at a young age are out preforming boys) so theres no reason men should be born more.

Devoyniche posted:

#MisandrySoReal

I actually dont see the huge issue with that though, am I wrong? Automation is going to take a lot of "old work" away. Men are already feeling the effects of it, white men are why you got Trump. It's predominantly men in ISIS, if not entirely. Why have so many more of them born?
I'm not saying it's the same person buuuuuuuut

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


I prefer cock carousel to odometer of cock.

Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

I love hitler

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?
I guess in the end it's just easier to think of women as these horrible greedy things than admit to yourself that they're thinking, feeling humans that choose to reject you because you are awful on so many levels.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

This thread has been full of weirdos and creeps for a while, so here's something I hope might lighten the mood.

On the outside, my wife and I are normal people. Kind of nerdy, but we have jobs, we stay healthy, we like being social, and we have loving and supportive families.

In our free time we both create props and special effects for local indy movies, plays and musicals for schools, and local haunted house attractions. Last year was actually an amazing year for us financially and we're talking about possibly going full time with this and making more than our current incomes.

My wife has a degree in graphic design and a minor in fine art, and has a natural artistic talent that's really amazing. Her job involves very little creativity though, so we started this as an outlet for her. I'm an engineer and can help build her ideas and come up with some technical wizardry as needed.

We created an Audrey II for the local High School's production of Little Shop of Horrors which got audible gasps from the audience when it was revealed, which was probably the proudest moment in my life.

With any luck, maybe one day you'll see us on TV building stuff for Disney or something.

That's a really cool hobby, thanks for telling us and I hope you really do get some money for it at some point :)

quote:

I have visions of the future every few years and they have all come true. Prophetic dreams is maybe the better word for it. I'll be sleeping and all of a sudden have a crazy dream that initially makes no sense.

As a kid it was minor stuff. I'd dream I was playing with a crazy new Ninja Turtle action figure. Then my birthday would roll around and I'd get that toy. Cue massive deja vu.

In the past few years it's been stuff like movies coming out (I literally dreamt of Amazing Spiderman before it came out, and also saw the new Blair Witch Movie in 2008).

A few nights ago I dreamt that Apple announced they were creating the "iLife", which was a chip installed in you at birth that recorded every moment. On your death bed it would replay everything and you could email it to your relatives.

yeah uh

As far as predictions go "I will get such-and-such toy" is one thing and "this really weird and invasive procedure with tons of potential for violation of privacy and absolutely no payoff until literally the day you die" is another

but if Apple did this it'd probably be a huge financial and public-relations boondoggle for them and I'm super mad at Apple rn so y'know what I'm rooting for you here

The Management
Jan 2, 2010

sup, bitch?

Question Time
Sep 12, 2010



quote:

A few nights ago I dreamt that Apple announced they were creating the "iLife", which was a chip installed in you at birth that recorded every moment. On your death bed it would replay everything and you could email it to your relatives.

This was a science fiction short story published in Wired magazine in December, minus the name.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

quote:

psychicgoon



F, see me after class psychicgoon

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
And not a very original story at that.

Android Blues
Nov 22, 2008

Goons subconsciously remembers things he forgets seeing, assumes he is having psychic visions. Man, most people would just assume they were having ideas.

SnoozeOrder
Aug 2, 2016
That's a Black Mirror episode.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

SnoozeOrder posted:

That's a Black Mirror episode.

And a side quest in Mass Effect. And any other of the hundreds of times the "your consciousness in a computer" has been written about since like the 50's.

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

Hey prop gune, hit me up, you need to market yourself :)

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I'm still WWE Superstar Kane, I still post on these forums, and my new goal in life is to become mod of the Rowdy Ringsports subforum.

Here are a few tidbits of info. Believe or disbelieve, it's your right

1) Just like you hate talking politics at work, most of us hate it too. Vince McMahon is extremely pro-Trump, they've worked together for years and you all know Linda was basically gifted a government position she's not qualified for. Most of us in the locker room are anti-Trump, so there's very little we can discuss at work without having to look over our shoulders or outright lie and smile like we love everything. That said, it does my Big Red Heart good to see those protests on Saturday.

2) My best friend in the WWE is Daniel Bryan and I'm really happy we are on Smackdown Live together. We still get to hang out and now that he's in a non-wrestler role, we get more time to talk books and sports.

3) I would not recommend anyone get in to the wrestling business. It is a scummy industry and I've seen it chew up and spit out hundreds of people in my life. It takes a certain type of person to make it here. You have to be slightly crazy (I dressed up as a Christmas tree to break in to the industry) and it is hell on your social and love life. That's not even getting in to the havoc it does to your body. I wrestled a very safe style for decades and I'm kind of a mess. Guys today run at 110% at all times, I fear for their bodies when they're old like me.

4) Hunger Games books are way better than the movies and I will chokeslam anyone who disagrees lol

5) There's also one other WWE superstar who's posted there for YEARS and nobody figured it out, even I didn't know until he told me.

I hope everybody has a good week, watch SD Live on Tuesday (9/8 c on USA Network), and the Royal Rumble is this Sunday!!! You may see a surprise or two on SD this week.....

also some forum drama which I was explicitly given permission to delete from the post, I'm not gonna go into TOO much detail but basically apparently Kane knows who someone in Rowdy Ringsports is and hates him

quote:

My career and life are a complete farce.

I am a "paranormal investigator" which is complete bullshit and literally preys on the dumbest and least educated portions of society. I get calls to check out a "haunted" house, I handwave some bullshit and play with some flashy tech that really does nothing, and then consult with a "religious expert" who's just my unemployable brother.

We then do a big fake ceremony to cleanse the house and that's it. Almost every single "haunting" I've found has either been an issue with the house (drafts, old pipes, bad wiring) or undiagnosed mental illnesses. My brother and I will fix stuff if we see it, and that's how I justify this to myself. We're at least fixing a problem, we just lie about it and overcharge these marks.

And just for some spirited (haha) conversation - we've seen a huge spike in work since this past summer, and I'd say at least 3/4 of the places we visit either had a Trump/Pence sign in the yard or some kind of pro-Trump memorabilia in their house. Take that however you like.

Given the confessions ITT alone mentioning Trump I'm not too surprised, no

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

WWE Superstar Kane: if you are in fact WWE Superstar Kane, wouldn't it actually be really easy to become mod of Rowdy Ringsports? You'd just have to make a thread that said "surprise surprise I am Kane" and make some wrestling jokes like "it was me all along Rowdy Ringsports" or w/e I don't watch wrestling, and post a picture of yourself holding a little sign that says "it is me, <SA forum username>, also WWE Superstar Kane" and whatever else people asked you to do, and they'd probably give you the modship just like that if you asked, like how deadmau5 was a mod of GBS that one time

Of course if you're trying to pull it off without unmasking yourself it'd be a lot harder, but I don't really know why a pro wrestler would want to mod a pro wrestling subforum without anyone knowing he was a pro wrestler IRL. Maybe if I knew more about Rowdy Ringsports that'd make more sense.

stab
Feb 12, 2003

To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high
Hey Kane!

stab fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Jan 25, 2017

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord
It would be extremely easy for a pro wrestler to work in a dumb goon catchphrase into a match, I think.

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005




"Do you have chairs in your house?"

Then you hit them with a chair.

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.
Really, we need someone to go to an autograph signing and ask WWE Superstar Kane his opinion on The Hunger Game movies vs books, and whether he'd chokeslam people with the wrong opinion.

A simple enough question

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Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
If it were real a televised confirmation would lead to the most fun game of forum assassin ever

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