Haier posted:

At dinner I got asked if Americans eat bread at every meal instead of rice.

I'm going for my night time walk. TTYL

Baronjutter posted:

Divorce and find someone who shares your values and life priorities and you don't consider a manipulative entitled princess.
Why the hell did you get married in the first place?

BONGHITZ posted:

I (31m) met my wife (27f) of two years at the of 2014 and we were married by August of 2015. She's Chinese and I'm Chinese American and we met while she was working here. Both she and I have terminal graduate degrees.

So her personality is very northern Chinese - very aggressive and not to mention she grew up in the political class so she has this exaggerated sense of entitlement. Myself, I'm also from a well to do family.
So last November we've finally decided to visit her family in China - with my express objective to tell them that we are going to get married (she hasn't told them out of embarrassment we got married in 2015). Her parents generally love me and my dad has met her while on business trip to Beijing.

So midway through this trip her grandmother gets ill and is put into coma. She's dying. So of course, I decide to leave for home first and let her abandon her tickets in order for her to care for her dying grandmother.

Of course coming home, I need to start my doctorate program with the expectation that my wife will have an idea of when she will come home here. I did all the moving, setup of furniture, and nice apartment hunting to support our family.

Because she is manipulative, I always try to get a verbal agreement so I have a better understanding and forecast of the future. So I told her, just be with your family until the crisis is over because her family is mine but be understanding that you cannot be gone for such an outrageous amount of time because we are a married couple with our life ahead of us.

However, midway through this month she said she would come home after Spring Festival- the Chinese New Years. I would think she would mean it's eminent she's coming home finally - but in reality it meant nothing because still has bought not tickets and would not commit to me on a date.

We talk everyday of course, but she has decided the the topic is taboo. She has stated to me that pressing her isn't helping the situation but I have told her it is my obligation to know these things because of our marriage.

TLDR: Wife went back to China, has a manipulative personality of an entitled princess, she has made no commitment towards coming home in the short term. I'm allowing her time to be with her family, but what about me?

Two months now of waiting and her message ranges from "I don't know when I am coming back. " to "If you keep pressuring me I'm staying here forever. Go look for a divorce lawyer." I don't even want to press it anymore - it's making anxious.

Help me.
Edit: We live in San Diego.

Ups_rail posted:

thats more a russian thing.

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

I think the trust issues are basically because only cares about herself and is prone to make decisions that benefits her the most.



lol

etalian posted:

lolling how Asian dudes would go after miserable mainlander chicks instead of finding a chill west coast ABC girl.

McGavin posted:

I used to volunteer with a 5th generation Chinese-Canadian guy who went back to China to find a wife. He found a gorgeous girl who was ridiculously out of his league and got hitched, but she never came back to Canada and they got divorced like a month later.

Xelkelvos posted:

I thought that was vodka

The Great Autismo! posted:

was her English name Jennifer and was she from tianjin because this exact situation happened like 2 years ago

ROFLburger posted:

what the gently caress are you talking about?

Baronjutter posted:

Divorce and find someone who shares your values and life priorities and you don't consider a manipulative entitled princess.
Why the hell did you get married in the first place?

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

I think the trust issues are basically because only cares about herself and is prone to make decisions that benefits her the most.



lol

Ceciltron posted:

I'm marrying a northern girl and she's anything but spoiled or selfish. Sure, the cultural background has some weird notions and baggage, but holy crap am I grateful when I read these stories and that she is nothing at all like any of them. I must be marrying the only sane girl on the continent.

Ceciltron posted:

I'm marrying a northern girl and she's anything but spoiled or selfish. Sure, the cultural background has some weird notions and baggage, but holy crap am I grateful when I read these stories and that she is nothing at all like any of them. I must be marrying the only sane girl on the continent.

Sheep-Goats posted:

Every girl flowers after marriage the way a corpse flower flowers. The best you can hope for is no change, but that's like Babe Ruth calling his shot.

What I guys do I don't know. Probably something also bad.

Atlas Hugged posted:

The poetic way I heard it put was, "Women want a man that will change but he won't. Men want a woman who will stay the same, but she won't."

Sheep-Goats posted:

That's probably a better way to put it that also has less of a chance of one of the zero irony forums linking to your post.

Haier posted:

Speaking of dumb relationship things, I got Chinar'd pretty good today.

Soldier girl is in another city for CNY. I decided now was the perfect time to tell the soldier girl that I like her. She's going to be busy for a couple weeks and it is unknown when we will meet again, so I thought I'd put this tidbit of information into her pipe for her to smoke until we meet again.

Since I actually do like her, I was nervous to say it, but I forced myself to say it. After having countless girls propose marriage or ask me to be in a relationship with them after a first meeting, I was thrown under the bus when it was my turn. She basically responded with: "LOL, we've known each other for two weeks. Are all Americans so quick to like someone? This is so weird! You told me you like me, so maybe you are just lonely? I think foreigners don't understand Chinese women. This won't ruin our friendship, I am neutral about this discussion."

LMAO. Gutted.

Sheep-Goats posted:

It's ok Haier, she likes you.

Haier posted:

Haier posted:

Speaking of dumb relationship things, I got Chinar'd pretty good today.

Soldier girl is in another city for CNY. I decided now was the perfect time to tell the soldier girl that I like her. She's going to be busy for a couple weeks and it is unknown when we will meet again, so I thought I'd put this tidbit of information into her pipe for her to smoke until we meet again.

Since I actually do like her, I was nervous to say it, but I forced myself to say it. After having countless girls propose marriage or ask me to be in a relationship with them after a first meeting, I was thrown under the bus when it was my turn. She basically responded with: "LOL, we've known each other for two weeks. Are all Americans so quick to like someone? This is so weird! You told me you like me, so maybe you are just lonely? I think foreigners don't understand Chinese women. This won't ruin our friendship, I am neutral about this discussion."

LMAO. Gutted.