Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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Oh dear me: Aug 14, 2012; I have burned numerous saucepans, sometimes right through the metal

Tamba posted:

Is there any DLC I really should have when starting out (Way of Life?), or should I just learn how to play like this for now and wait for a sale?

Just play. When you have got into the game you will want practically all the DLC, but the game you have is perfectly good enough to decide whether you'll ever get into it at all.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 13:39

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:31

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Captain Oblivious posted:

So, idle curiosity:

I have a really stupid idea and I'm curious if it's possible. Old Gods start date, Ukhaidhirid Tribal Shia Muslims in the middle of the Arabian peninsula. Conquer your way southwest to the Arabian coastline through the feudal non-Abbasids.

Is it possible to form a Muslim Merchant Republic from this start point?

YEP!

You have to hope you aren't holy warred to poo poo, because you are weaker than every one of your neighbours. If I remember correctly, you don't even start with any kids for alliances and they're dumbly rare at the start.

It's also hard to pick whether you want Medina or Basra to be the new capital duchy, but it's pretty fun when you get it rolling. Medina, for my money, more easily lets Shia get rollin'

# ? Jan 28, 2017 17:44

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

ToxicSlurpee posted:

Yes. Whoever has the most posts pointing into a sea area controls that as part of their "zone." To get the capital bonus the zone has to be connected to the capital. The first trading post you build should always, always, always be around your capital and you should spam whatever sea area that points into like mad early game. Some other families, early on, may or may not get beyond you. That's fine; it happens.

God I wish it was that simple. Take a look at this clusterfuck.

You also have to control counties along the trade route. Not cities, the full county. Except for if you don't. Also a connected to capital bonus can only go over a straight. So you have to have a connected to capital "bridge" in the form of having majority control of a sea with a straight in it in order to have a connected to capital bonus on both coastlines. Except for when you don't. It's a goddamn nightmare. We could talk for days about situations where you do and do not get a connected to capital bonus and still not fully understand it. The safest sure thing I know is a continual land bridge from your capital moving all the way along a coastline, and conquering all along that trade route. That's obviously a pain, but I'll say my solution for it in this post.

quote:

If you control multiple, adjacent sea areas they become one big zone. You want this to happen; 10 posts in 1 zone gives you a bigger bonus than 5 posts in 2 zones.

This is very true, and this bonus is the biggest one a trade post can have. But, while 10 posts in 1 zone gives you a bigger bonus than 5 posts in 2 zones, 40 posts in one zone isn't noticeably different than 140 in one zone. There's a point of diminishing returns where you're talking like .02% bonus increases per trade post. So if you intend on building 70 or so trade posts in a playthrough, you can do that by breaking those into two separate trade zones if it's convenient, and disregarding connected to capital, the income will be almost no different than if they were all connected into one.

quote:

The way you deal with that is to pick an heir with a high intrigue, marry a woman with high intrigue, and go on a mad stabbing spree. Once you have your first posts set up (don't worry too much about it if you lose your capital's sea zone for a while early on) and have some good, solid income start murdering the other families. You can take their posts this way. If a family quits existing (as in, the dynasty has no more male heirs after the heir dies) it dissolves and their posts get redistributed to the other families. This is also a good way to get past your post limit in the early stage of a republic. You should endeavor to murder every single family that was created when you formed the republic into oblivion as well as any family that ever gets beyond like 5 posts. Even then you should spent a lot of your intrigue effort pruning the branches off of the other families. Stab from away from ever getting a strong foothold ever again and the republic is just yours forever.

This is viable, but it's random. When you kill off a family, their posts go anywhere, usually to families with less posts. You don't have any direct control over it other than to just keep stabbing and stabbing and stabbing like rolls of the dice. That's fun, and I'll never tell anyone that stabbing isn't a good solution to any problem in this game, but I prefer a different approach. Instead of directly competing with your rival families, go build your trade zone way the gently caress away from them, with the intention of moving your capital to that area in the future. The easiest place to do this is England. You can become an emperor in Scandinavia or Venice or whatever, while building trade posts out from Middlesex all around England and Frisia and that whole area. Then, you conquer your way to being the Grand Prince of Britannia, make it your primary title, move your capital to Middlesex, and boom. You've instantly got an impenetrable network of connected to capital trade posts, and your rival patricians are all totally hosed.

Really though, I've come to the conclusion that it's really not necessary to minmax where and how you build your trade posts, although it's very fun to do that from a spergy administrative perspective if you so choose. If you're not happy with the income you're getting from the trade posts you have, build some more. It's that easy. Generally, 30-40 will bring in a really solid amount of money that will let you do pretty much anything you want to do, particularly in the first few hundred years. 60-80 is about where you can consider yourself to have beaten the game you're so rich. 100+ is just absurd and you don't need this many. You will literally run out of things to spend money on. Try to get all of your posts in trade zones that have at least 30 trade posts in them. Having a bunch of them connected to capital is nice, but not entirely necessary.

Throughout the game, if you are continually flirting with your trade post limit, you'll fluctuate somewhere in the +10 to +50 a month range from about day 1 until however late in the game you keep this strategy up. It's not going to change dramatically. What will change dramatically as you build is your income. Don't just look at how much gold is getting dumped into your account each month. Look at your monthly income and expenses. Particularly the income. Then decide how much a month you really want to be making in your end game state. +100? +200? More? How much do you realistically need to do whatever you want to do in that save? Once your income before deductions starts looking like a number you could live with earning for the rest of the game, get everyone the gently caress out of your goddamn court. Murder them, give them titles, marry them off, whatever. Anyone who is not you, your heir, or one of their wives, is worse than pond scum. Get them out. With that done, your monthly income is going to be roughly whatever your income prior to deductions was, not counting possible upgrades on all of your trade posts you can continue to do to boost that number higher. About all you will actually be paying for is retinue upkeep, which is like 30-40 a month for massive retinues when they aren't replenishing. Chump change. Then you just continue to keep the grass mowed. Any male family member who is not your heir needs to take a hike as soon as they turn 16. That's really the key to having fun as a republic imo. Being at 40 trade posts with a trade post limit of 6 is far more profitable than having 80 trade posts with a trade post limit of 80, so you've got to draw the line somewhere. Figure out where you're going to stop. Whether it be a number of trade posts, a certain income, or a year. Decide a point, and stick to it.

Volkerball fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Jan 28, 2017

# ? Jan 28, 2017 18:47

shut up blegum: Dec 17, 2008; --->Plastic Lawn<---

Yoow faction leader, we're at 440% here, let's give the kaiser an ultimatum!

# ? Jan 28, 2017 19:39

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

Volkerball posted:

God I wish it was that simple. Take a look at this clusterfuck.

You also have to control counties along the trade route. Not cities, the full county. Except for if you don't. Also a connected to capital bonus can only go over a straight. So you have to have a connected to capital "bridge" in the form of having majority control of a sea with a straight in it in order to have a connected to capital bonus on both coastlines. Except for when you don't. It's a goddamn nightmare. We could talk for days about situations where you do and do not get a connected to capital bonus and still not fully understand it. The safest sure thing I know is a continual land bridge from your capital moving all the way along a coastline, and conquering all along that trade route. That's obviously a pain, but I'll say my solution for it in this post.

This is very true, and this bonus is the biggest one a trade post can have. But, while 10 posts in 1 zone gives you a bigger bonus than 5 posts in 2 zones, 40 posts in one zone isn't noticeably different than 140 in one zone. There's a point of diminishing returns where you're talking like .02% bonus increases per trade post. So if you intend on building 70 or so trade posts in a playthrough, you can do that by breaking those into two separate trade zones if it's convenient, and disregarding connected to capital, the income will be almost no different than if they were all connected into one.

This is viable, but it's random. When you kill off a family, their posts go anywhere, usually to families with less posts. You don't have any direct control over it other than to just keep stabbing and stabbing and stabbing like rolls of the dice. That's fun, and I'll never tell anyone that stabbing isn't a good solution to any problem in this game, but I prefer a different approach. Instead of directly competing with your rival families, go build your trade zone way the gently caress away from them, with the intention of moving your capital to that area in the future. The easiest place to do this is England. You can become an emperor in Scandinavia or Venice or whatever, while building trade posts out from Middlesex all around England and Frisia and that whole area. Then, you conquer your way to being the Grand Prince of Britannia, make it your primary title, move your capital to Middlesex, and boom. You've instantly got an impenetrable network of connected to capital trade posts, and your rival patricians are all totally hosed.

Really though, I've come to the conclusion that it's really not necessary to minmax where and how you build your trade posts, although it's very fun to do that from a spergy administrative perspective if you so choose. If you're not happy with the income you're getting from the trade posts you have, build some more. It's that easy. Generally, 30-40 will bring in a really solid amount of money that will let you do pretty much anything you want to do, particularly in the first few hundred years. 60-80 is about where you can consider yourself to have beaten the game you're so rich. 100+ is just absurd and you don't need this many. You will literally run out of things to spend money on. Try to get all of your posts in trade zones that have at least 30 trade posts in them. Having a bunch of them connected to capital is nice, but not entirely necessary.

Throughout the game, if you are continually flirting with your trade post limit, you'll fluctuate somewhere in the +10 to +50 a month range from about day 1 until however late in the game you keep this strategy up. It's not going to change dramatically. What will change dramatically as you build is your income. Don't just look at how much gold is getting dumped into your account each month. Look at your monthly income and expenses. Particularly the income. Then decide how much a month you really want to be making in your end game state. +100? +200? More? How much do you realistically need to do whatever you want to do in that save? Once your income before deductions starts looking like a number you could live with earning for the rest of the game, get everyone the gently caress out of your goddamn court. Murder them, give them titles, marry them off, whatever. Anyone who is not you, your heir, or one of their wives, is worse than pond scum. Get them out. With that done, your monthly income is going to be roughly whatever your income prior to deductions was, not counting possible upgrades on all of your trade posts you can continue to do to boost that number higher. About all you will actually be paying for is retinue upkeep, which is like 30-40 a month for massive retinues when they aren't replenishing. Chump change. Then you just continue to keep the grass mowed. Any male family member who is not your heir needs to take a hike as soon as they turn 16. That's really the key to having fun as a republic imo. Being at 40 trade posts with a trade post limit of 6 is far more profitable than having 80 trade posts with a trade post limit of 80, so you've got to draw the line somewhere. Figure out where you're going to stop. Whether it be a number of trade posts, a certain income, or a year. Decide a point, and stick to it.

This is a Good Post. I feel much more confident about being a mercantilist dickbag now :unsmith:

# ? Jan 28, 2017 22:27

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

I've heard of people becoming their own grandfather, but this is unusual.

# ? Jan 29, 2017 05:03

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

darthbob88 posted:

I've heard of people becoming their own grandfather, but this is unusual.

The Allfather has gifted you with a second life!

# ? Jan 29, 2017 05:45

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

darthbob88 posted:

I've heard of people becoming their own grandfather, but this is unusual.

The "Opinion of me 100; My opinion of [himself] -20" really speaks to me at a deep level.

# ? Jan 29, 2017 15:45

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Vassals keep trying their damnedest to make my borders as messy as humanly possible. I mean look at this poo poo:

full borders for reference:

# ? Jan 30, 2017 04:34

Mantis42: Jul 26, 2010

darthbob88 posted:

I've heard of people becoming their own grandfather, but this is unusual.

I know who my heir is, but who are all you zombies?

# ? Jan 30, 2017 05:51

Catalina: May 20, 2008

Volkerball posted:

Amazing post about trade zones

Thanks a bunch for the info! My merchant republic games are really fun, especially because I can be a spergy micro-manager, but I tend to stagnate near the end trying to figure out to do or where to go. Understanding these mechanics is going to make me think up more fun near end-game goals.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 11:29

Trogdos!: Jul 11, 2009; A DRAGON POKEMAN
well technically a water/flying type

https://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/index.php?threads/ck2-dev-diary-39-as-you-wish.997186/

quote:

Don�t you hate it when you�re start a war against a neighbour, counting on your allies to come and help and they all decide the best idea is to attach to your army so that you�ll take attrition? So do we!

So we�ve taken another leaf from EU4�s big book of tricks and we�ve added Ally Orders. When you lead a war, you can tell other participants what to do:
Hunt down enemy armies
Or focus on sieging provinces.
Attach to a specific army
Siege a specific province

As long as they�re in the war, your allies will try their best to fulfill your wishes, reverting to their default behavior when unable to comply. Unless, of course, they got bigger fish to fry, such as a big revolt in their own territory, or their own war to focus on.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 13:00

Walton Simons: May 16, 2010; ELECTRONIC OLD MEN RUNNING THE WORLD

Oh, that is nice.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 13:39

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

So, question about the Silk Road added in Horse Lords since it's kinda hard to find any concrete information on this:

I'm currently playing the Habbari Kingdom in northwestern India and control a long stretch of provinces along the Indus River, all Silk Road. Very nice. Is it more efficient to have a long continuous string of level 1 tradeposts or to space it out, blow up some of my existing ones so that I can have level 3 ones at regular intervals? Also is there an easy way to tell at a glance how far X Distance is?

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:02

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Captain Oblivious posted:

So, question about the Silk Road added in Horse Lords since it's kinda hard to find any concrete information on this:

I'm currently playing the Habbari Kingdom in northwestern India and control a long stretch of provinces along the Indus River, all Silk Road. Very nice. Is it more efficient to have a long continuous string of level 1 tradeposts or to space it out, blow up some of my existing ones so that I can have level 3 ones at regular intervals? Also is there an easy way to tell at a glance how far X Distance is?

Level 1's have to be 100 units of distance from the closest level 1. Level 2's have to be 200 from the nearest level 2. Level 3's have to be 500 from the nearest level 3. So burning down your level 1's will have no impact on how many level 2's and 3's you can build. There will be a long continuous string of level 1's, and within those level 1's, there will be a more sporadic trail of level 2's, and then of those a rare level 3. All 3 of those trails will be independent of each other when it comes to distance limits between posts. You also have to have trade practices tech at level 1, 2, and 3 for each level of the silk road trade post upgrades in the county they are to be built in, so keep that in mind.

And yeah, click on a county so it's selected, then hover over another county without clicking it, and it will tell you the distance between the two.

Volkerball fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Jan 30, 2017

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:11

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Looking at my spreadsheet, this is what I had for that region.

code:

50	Debul		3	
51	Rajanpur	1	
52	Karor		1	
53	Kasmir		2

It's not long enough for multiple level 3's, but you can just squeeze in 2 level 2's, of which one can be a 3. Debul is the obvious choice.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:20

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

You lunatic

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:26

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

verbal enema posted:

You lunatic

how are you even supposed to survive in this game if you're not making 500 ducats a month

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:33

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

Volkerball posted:

Looking at my spreadsheet, this is what I had for that region.
code:
50	Debul		3	
51	Rajanpur	1	
52	Karor		1	
53	Kasmir		2	
It's not long enough for multiple level 3's, but you can just squeeze in 2 level 2's, of which one can be a 3. Debul is the obvious choice.

How convenient, I'd just decided Debul was prime capitol material!

# ? Jan 30, 2017 17:34

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Volkerball posted:

Looking at my spreadsheet, this is what I had for that region.
code:
50	Debul		3	
51	Rajanpur	1	
52	Karor		1	
53	Kasmir		2	
It's not long enough for multiple level 3's, but you can just squeeze in 2 level 2's, of which one can be a 3. Debul is the obvious choice.

Just out of curiosity, would you be willing to put your tradepost spreadsheet online in a google doc? It sounds like you've already done the hard work of figuring out where the best silk road placement is, and my next game I was thinking about doing an Indian Republic.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 18:19

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

While we're on the subject of granular mechanics questions:

I got in a tiff with the Pratihara Maharaja and beat the snot out of him until two of his vassals declared independence. Knowing I couldn't win against the combined forces of Hinduism long term, I accepted a white peace and acknowledged that causing his realm to rip itself in three was still a long term win.

A) I have a truce with Pratihara from the holy war that I white peaced out on. If I went and holy warred some of the Hindu OPMs to my north as the Habbari, could Pratihara join in defense of them despite the truce?

B) If I opted to use an Invasion CB instead in the future, would that make the Hindu lords my vassals or replace them?

# ? Jan 30, 2017 21:42

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Captain Oblivious posted:

While we're on the subject of granular mechanics questions:

I got in a tiff with the Pratihara Maharaja and beat the snot out of him until two of his vassals declared independence. Knowing I couldn't win against the combined forces of Hinduism long term, I accepted a white peace and acknowledged that causing his realm to rip itself in three was still a long term win.

A) I have a truce with Pratihara from the holy war that I white peaced out on. If I went and holy warred some of the Hindu OPMs to my north as the Habbari, could Pratihara join in defense of them despite the truce?

B) If I opted to use an Invasion CB instead in the future, would that make the Hindu lords my vassals or replace them?

YOU have a truce with him, he doesn't have a truce with you. But even aside from that, truces don't prevent you from joining wars against your truce targets.

What's your religion? The Indian subjugation CB will, well, subjugate your targets, making them your vassals.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 21:52

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

Torrannor posted:

YOU have a truce with him, he doesn't have a truce with you. But even aside from that, truces don't prevent you from joining wars against your truce targets.

What's your religion? The Indian subjugation CB will, well, subjugate your targets, making them your vassals.

Sunni. And to the first part, thanks, that's what I thought but I wasn't sure if that was how it worked.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 21:57

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

binge crotching posted:

Just out of curiosity, would you be willing to put your tradepost spreadsheet online in a google doc? It sounds like you've already done the hard work of figuring out where the best silk road placement is, and my next game I was thinking about doing an Indian Republic.

The thing is that there isn't really a best placement. It's dependent on where your capital is and all that. Particularly with the level 3 posts. But the Indian zones are all spread out and self-contained enough that there's only really one way to do it, so in your case, you can pretty much directly copy what I got.

code:

Hormuz		1

Debul		3
Rajanpur	1
Karor		1
Kasmir		2

Navasarika	2

Mahoyadapuram	3

Vijayawada	2

Candradvipa	3
Pundravardhana	1
Haruppeswara	2

I'd recommend Debul or Mahoyadapuram as capitals.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 22:09

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

Volkerball posted:

The thing is that there isn't really a best placement. It's dependent on where your capital is and all that. Particularly with the level 3 posts. But the Indian zones are all spread out and self-contained enough that there's only really one way to do it, so in your case, you can pretty much directly copy what I got.
code:
Hormuz		1

Debul		3
Rajanpur	1
Karor		1
Kasmir		2

Navasarika	2

Mahoyadapuram	3

Vijayawada	2

Candradvipa	3
Pundravardhana	1
Haruppeswara	2
I'd recommend Debul or Mahoyadapuram as capitals.

Is that recommendation solely for Republics, or in general?

# ? Jan 30, 2017 22:45

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Captain Oblivious posted:

Is that recommendation solely for Republics, or in general?

Eh. They're the richest either way, but Delhi, Cholamandalam, and Laksmanavati have 7 holding slots, so I'd add them to the list for feudal characters.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 22:52

Captain Oblivious: Oct 12, 2007; I'm not like other posters

Volkerball posted:

Eh. They're the richest either way, but Delhi, Cholamandalam, and Laksmanavati have 7 holding slots, so I'd add them to the list for feudal characters.

Unironically asking for a friend in my case. Debul is still more convenient for my long term plans, even if I am feudal.

# ? Jan 30, 2017 22:57

Gaghskull: Dec 25, 2010; Bearforce1

Boys! Boys! Boys!

My borders. My precious pretty borders. I will never get the chance to fix them. :negative:

So many tiny little one county and duchy provinces in the middle of my giant empire.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 06:14

DISCO KING: Oct 30, 2012; STILL
TRYING
TOO
HARD

There has got to be a way to keep my dynasty members from loving each other, this is getting ridiculous. In my current Francia game, whenever I need a powerful Viceroy, I give it to a non-inheriting, capable family member. If one in the region isn't available to me, I'll usually revoke a lovely count who hates me and put a family member in place. That way, I can have elective succession, and no matter who wins, the winner will still be of my dynasty. The problem is these viceroys keep marrying into the most powerful family in the game-- mine. Is there some way to stop this? They're turning into ugly hare-lipped imbeciles quickly.

EDIT: The king of Lithuania died with zero stats an incapable imbecile, married his aunt, who was also her grandmother. This is getting very bad very fast.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 07:41

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

Oh man, what a feeling it is when you put your spouse on the Byzantine throne and then she changes the succession law from primogeniture to elective. :tizzy:

# ? Jan 31, 2017 08:02

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

Gobblecoque posted:

Oh man, what a feeling it is when you put your spouse on the Byzantine throne and then she changes the succession law from primogeniture to elective.

At least your children will get a strong claim. You can change back to primogeniture once your heir wins the succession war.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 09:34

Zero One: Dec 30, 2004; HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

Napoleon Bonaparty posted:

There has got to be a way to keep my dynasty members from loving each other, this is getting ridiculous. In my current Francia game, whenever I need a powerful Viceroy, I give it to a non-inheriting, capable family member. If one in the region isn't available to me, I'll usually revoke a lovely count who hates me and put a family member in place. That way, I can have elective succession, and no matter who wins, the winner will still be of my dynasty. The problem is these viceroys keep marrying into the most powerful family in the game-- mine. Is there some way to stop this? They're turning into ugly hare-lipped imbeciles quickly.

EDIT: The king of Lithuania died with zero stats an incapable imbecile, married his aunt, who was also her grandmother. This is getting very bad very fast.

The Aristocrats!

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:21

Sultan Tarquin: Jul 29, 2007; and what kind of world would it be? HUH?!

Ugh I don't think I can play feudal till the update comes out. Getting invaded in a holy war so I call Lombardy to help me out. They send 5000 men to Spain, walk around a bit completely avoiding the enemy and then just gently caress off home. It's not like that stack would have completely turned the tide or anything. loving retarded allied AI.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:23

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

Torrannor posted:

At least your children will get a strong claim. You can change back to primogeniture once your heir wins the succession war.

That's what I thought would happen too, but my heir only got a weak claim.

# ? Jan 31, 2017 18:54

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Sultan Tarquin posted:

Ugh I don't think I can play feudal till the update comes out. Getting invaded in a holy war so I call Lombardy to help me out. They send 5000 men to Spain, walk around a bit completely avoiding the enemy and then just gently caress off home. It's not like that stack would have completely turned the tide or anything. loving retarded allied AI.

To be fair that is pretty much what I do when forced into a war I don't really give a poo poo about

# ? Jan 31, 2017 22:52

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

Just conquered Alexandria, made myself King of Venice, gave the other patrician families the counties I conquered in Italy to keep them happy, converted my vassals in Alexandria, all I need to do is wait a few months to build the silk road trading lost and everything wi-

What's that, two of my councilor patricians are starting a revolt to increase the council's powers. Well I can take care of that, just need to bring my retinue out of Alexandria an-

So now one of my Egyptian neighbors decided to declare a holy war. No worries, it's just an Emir, I'll just put down this council revolt and bring my forces to-

Oh, so now the King of Italy has decided to declare a holy war himself. I'm too broke to higher mercenaries and the useless gently caress that is the Holy Roman Emperor is hogging the only Hellenic holy order to fight four revolts he's already lost. It's okay, though, that Emir's holy war is just a few percentage points away from being officially over, and if I'm careful I can build up my forces and avoi-

gently caress YOUR HOLY WAR SECOND EMIR AND gently caress EVERYONE'S loving BULLSHIT! I'M GOING TO loving MURDER THE FIVE OF Y'ALLS FAMILIES AND TAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS AS CONCUBINES!

# ? Feb 1, 2017 02:52

SurreptitiousMuffin: Mar 21, 2010

I had the idea to make an immortal count who schleps around Europe scheming and causing trouble. It didn't go so well. Turns out, if you torture somebody while you have the 'insane' trait, it gets, well

weird

I don't think there's any way around it either -- it happened three times in a row with different people. If an insane person tortures their victim, they tickle the poo poo out of them.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:33

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

What happens if your immortal dude gets caught and jailed?

Do you just hang out waiting until your captor dies and then another and another until you kinda just slink out?

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:40

SurreptitiousMuffin: Mar 21, 2010

I was kinda relying on having ridiculously high intrigue (38) to get around that.

Although being fair, I've now captured and tickled three different Italian kings and they all kinda just went "ahaha this guy amirite". Two of them immediately promoted me.

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:47

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:31

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Huh I'd like to see a game where an immortal ruler somehow spends multiple centuries in the jail and what would happen to his stuff. I mean EVENTUALLY he be unlanded I'd assume but what if he wasn't! What if he had some Strong Claim and then got out and became Duke of Funcoland or someshit

# ? Feb 1, 2017 03:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: When all else fails, I open my heart and put my faith in Satan

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