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Aesop Poprock posted:Did it ever actually turn out to be anything when it came to people posting in FYAD cause usually the people there just acted like it was boring that games was sending people to them and didn't want to do their dirty work FYAD is always really nice to them
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Jan 29, 2017 11:01
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One of my favourite first post shutdowns
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Jan 29, 2017 12:30
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I remember a c. 2006 desparate games intro post in GBS where the first reply was less than a minute after OP and just a big green "ACCESS GRANTED" screen picture. The rest of the thread was alternately people making fun of OP, and wondering why the first reply guy had that picture handy. Like he just kept that waffle images link on his clipboard all the time, waiting for someone to stumble in begging to play WoW
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Jan 29, 2017 21:09
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sometimes the stars do align.
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Jan 29, 2017 22:37
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The best first post own ever was Crumbunist (within seconds) on Terensque in the thread where T tried to call out someone else in helldump https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2695197&pagenumber=1 
Aesop Poprock has a new favorite as of 23:00 on Jan 29, 2017 |
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Jan 29, 2017 22:57
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SomethingAwful needs its own Final Destination movie based on all these crazy Goon Sagas. A bored Millennial buys experimental Russian Horse Meth. He mistake the dosage instructions and proceeds to inject the product directly into his eyeballs. His eyeballs swell up and he can't tell if he's gained x-ray vision or everybody else on the planet decided to spontaneously have their faces melt off and regenerate over and over. With growing panic, he jumps in his Toyota but accidentally slams the door on his arm. Completely unaware, he tears down the highway with his arm flapping and helicoptering around out the side like a ribbon. Meanwhile, a young man clad in nothing but bike shorts and crocs overthrottles his 9,000HP motorcycle and tears down the same highway. Barely able to maintain control, he is clipped in the helmet by the other man's flapping dead-arm, causing him to immediately careen off the highway and crash into a Doobie Franchised hot dog stand (strategically located with the hopes of selling dawgs to people stuck in traffic). His trachea is pierced by a particularly sharp Doobie Dog and while recovering later he recalls that was the second time in his life his heart stopped from hot-dog related shenanigans. Completely undeterred, the other man proceeds off the highway in search of his dealer with the hopes he can counter the effects of the Horse Meth with safer bath salts. Unfortunately he ends up on Goon Nature Preserve. Distracted by torturing piglets to death, the residents don't notice the dead armed man with bulging eyeballs stumble out of a Toyota Tercel. Freckles, their prize dressage horse does notice him, and the erratic movements of the stoned man immediately remind Freckles of ants, causing him to fly into a paroxysm of fear. He jumps ten feet backward and inexplicably gets entangled on Goon Nature Preserve Kiddie Zipline, immediately sending him down a steep hillside. Freckles' fragile equine heart explodes as he rapidly approaches terminal velocity down the steep zipline. At the bottom of the gully, Freckles' corpse gets jolted free and the momentum causes him to slam into the side of a recently purchased rental property investment Groverhaus now owns. The home's foundation is scarcely affixed to the walls save for some staples and rotted particle board, and the impact of the 2,000 pound beast shears the entire home off the foundation and sends it toppling over sideways. The film ends with Allstate denying Groverhaus' homeowner insurance claim. Panfilo has a new favorite as of 23:03 on Jan 29, 2017 |
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Jan 29, 2017 23:00
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I got a sensible chuckle from your post, and like half a memory. Wasn't there a goon who was in a high speed chase with the cops and ended up running pantsless through a field trying to escape? Were you referencing that/does anyone else remember more?
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Jan 30, 2017 09:23
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Holy poo poo
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Jan 30, 2017 10:26
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Aesop Poprock posted:The best first post own ever was Crumbunist (within seconds) on Terensque in the thread where T tried to call out someone else in helldump lmao at how fast that reply was
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Jan 30, 2017 11:58
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Lysistrata posted:I got a sensible chuckle from your post, and like half a memory. Wasn't there a goon who was in a high speed chase with the cops and ended up running pantsless through a field trying to escape? Were you referencing that/does anyone else remember more? I don't have a link but I do have an artists conception 
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Jan 30, 2017 13:33
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YES. That's the one. Man that thread was fun. Thank you for finding the pic! Edit: oh my god he did punch one of the police dogs, didn't he. And he got tased too but I don't think it stopped him the first time.
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Jan 30, 2017 22:28
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I wish pictures could be thread titles
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Jan 30, 2017 22:41
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Holy poo poo Terensque is still posting.
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Jan 31, 2017 00:59
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quote:One evening some goon drank too many energy drinks or something and had a nervous breakdown. He drove pantsless across New England and when the cops finally pulled him over he tried to run and they had to release the dogs. Among other things he was charged with assaulting one of the dogs. I forget all the other details, all I have is this picture: Justin Godscock posted:Holy gently caress, I remember this. To add some context GBS was in a really weird and manic mood that night and someone posted a thread about how their friend (who had schizophrenia or some such mental illness) and went into a psychotic episode and led the police on a chase (an article/video someone dug up in the thread showed at least 10 cop cars involved). What resulted was him bailing out of his car, knocking out a couple K9s that were sent after him before finally being tasered into submission. Oh, and the OP was trying to get donations for his legal defence or some poo poo. This sounds really horrific but, again, GBS isn't your personal hugbox, donation kiosk or psychiatrist so what did he expect? chernobyl kinsman posted:iirc he also ripped the taser leads out of his chest while charging at the cops chernobyl kinsman has a new favorite as of 01:44 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 01:42
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It's like the goon equivalent of the video of the iguana evading a hundred snakes.
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Jan 31, 2017 02:37
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food court bailiff posted:Holy poo poo Terensque is still posting. Bet he's still smokin' that pipe.
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Jan 31, 2017 02:44
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Panfilo posted:It's like the goon equivalent of the video of the iguana evading a hundred snakes. That video stresses me the hell out but this comparison cannot be defeated
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Jan 31, 2017 08:05
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Aesop Poprock posted:Did it ever actually turn out to be anything when it came to people posting in FYAD cause usually the people there just acted like it was boring that games was sending people to them and didn't want to do their dirty work I usually saw it get some good burns in then a ban for the newbie.
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Jan 31, 2017 17:58
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January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! January 31st: *hasn't posted in 4 days*
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Jan 31, 2017 21:20
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bradzilla posted:January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! Tbh lowtax not posting does make the forums better
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Jan 31, 2017 21:45
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bradzilla posted:January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! you mean to tell me lowtax isn't following through?
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Jan 31, 2017 21:46
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bradzilla posted:January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! Something was already awful.
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Jan 31, 2017 21:53
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Lowtax: sigh....I feel like an outsider.. *tasks minions to handle everything and minces ineffectually.*
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Jan 31, 2017 21:56
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bradzilla posted:January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! he will be back any minute *[thinking]come on there's gotta be something* he's been really busy
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Jan 31, 2017 21:56
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Lowtax should have an E/N blog where only he can post and he talks about his day. I think it'd help him feel better.
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Jan 31, 2017 22:05
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purple death ray posted:Tbh lowtax not posting does make the forums better It's true. Left to mutate on their own, the forums get weird and silly and I like it more.
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Jan 31, 2017 22:05
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:*desperately thumbs through notes* Does he have the kids this week? Dammit Lauren, he was our dad first!
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Jan 31, 2017 22:31
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i think he said he did
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Jan 31, 2017 22:43
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Does anyone have the original floor pizza post? I've been able to piece things vaguely together since, but I'm still seeing it referenced and thought I'd finally get around to reading the initial event.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:35
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Can anyone link me that one thread with the thirteen year old who read Kant six times?
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Feb 1, 2017 01:39
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Anyone remember that thread that was essentially everyone talking about a make believe Ducktales MMO? It was great because everyone worked together perfectly and made it sound so real, with poo poo about class systems, locations, PVP etc, that every page there was at least one person begging for a link to the game.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:44
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Das Boo posted:Does anyone have the original floor pizza post? Posted with no sense of just how odd or unhealthy such a thing could be.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:49
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WebDog posted:Wasn't that the goon who casually mentioned leaving take out pizza under the bed for him to snack on first thing in the morning? This is the guy who met his wife (also a goon) while they were stalking Chris-Chan together, right? Or is there another floor pizza guy.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:54
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WickedHate posted:Can anyone link me that one thread with the thirteen year old who read Kant six times? Was that the one where the kid was all "people my age are so dumb and I'm so smart"?
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Feb 1, 2017 02:02
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Len posted:Was that the one where the kid was all "people my age are so dumb and I'm so smart"? Yes.
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Feb 1, 2017 02:03
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I'm pretty sure it was Marx : https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3504508
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Feb 1, 2017 02:11
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Thaaat's it. Thanks!
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Feb 1, 2017 02:13
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bradzilla posted:January 20th: We're making Something Awful Again! To be fair trying to argue that the site had become "too liberal" and instituting a widespread moderation coup in response to that just days before Trump's inauguration was some really, really unfortunate timing in hindsight. Especially right on the heels of saying we should be more like Kiwifarms only to have them doxx a bunch of our users and then shut down.
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Feb 1, 2017 03:50
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Yeah so basically the site is now full of concern trolls who are either neo Nazis or sociopaths who thrive on negative attention.
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Feb 1, 2017 04:34
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Yeah so basically the site is now full of concern trolls who are either neo Nazis or sociopaths who thrive on negative attention. "now"
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Feb 1, 2017 04:45
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