Metal Geir Skogul posted:

I don't feel like typing it again on mobile, so I'm going to paste my anonymous confessions post:

I've cheated on my fiancee/gf of 7 years.

She was a hoarder, and OCD. We've spent years "fixing" her; reducing the number of stacked boxes in the house, learning that you don't have to soak the dishes for exactly ten minutes before putting them in the dishwasher (hell, even using the dishwasher was verboten for the first five years), and it's okay to throw away trash. I've convinced her to get vaccinations and yearly flu shots, and to go to the dentist, both things she'd never done before.

But, I'm tired. I just turned 30 a few months back, and have no college. I'm in an okay industry right now, but I make garbage pay (48th/51 states/territores for my job) and want to move on and take the next step in my field, either through doing a 3-4 year degree program, or one of those 18-month expensive associates fast-track programs. Either way I move ahead with life.

She does nothing but hold me back. Refuses to work more than part time because it might mean losing one of her clients. Is "satisfied" with an inner-city apartment in a dangerous area. Doesn't understand that you need to pay down your credit card bills, not just pay $70/month and spend the residual $50 you get back after interest. She eats nothing but frozen pizza and spaghetti, unless I cook. And, even then, everything I cook gets a healthy coating of hot sauce or ketchup. Taste the ingredients!

I usually give up and eat garbage, and it's really hard to motivate myself to be better with a person so depressed around. We took her to the doctor for the first time in her life much earlier in 2016, and she immediately was prescribed heavy duty psych meds. She's tapered back from heavy-hitting drugs into lighter ones, like prozac, and I'm not discriminating against that. They make her sane, and things are better. An unfortunately killed sex-drive, though, but I'd rather have sanity for her over sex.

We work together on so many things, and I'm willing to do anything in the world for my fiancee. That is, except spend the rest of my life together with her. She wants kids, but knows I had a vasectomy. I had it because I could pass on a genetic condition, and was always willing to adopt, but much later in life than she wants (she wants them now, despite only paying 1/4 of the rent and me picking up 100% of the rest of the bills).

A few weeks ago, a coworker confessed that she was having husband issues. She had separated from him once before, over the summer, but had gotten back together. To her relief, her husband asked for a permanent separation right before Christmas. We were becoming good friends before that, and even did a campout where it was just the two of us. No sexytimes happened - it was more of a mental healing getaway, for both of us. Really fun, and a good night's rest. She has two younger kids (around 4), but that's fine. I'm not afraid of them, even though it's a huge change.

Last weekend, we got a hotel room together.

If I had the money, I'd leave right now. But as it is, I sit here picking up extra shifts to save emergency moving money up, and hoping the GF doesn't notice any weird texts. Whatever punishment I get from her when she discovers, I'll take. I have an RV-style vehicle to live in, say in a gym parking lot, if worst comes to worst.

The confession is, though, that I feel no guilt about what I've done, and what I will do. Life needs to move on, and we're not a good match. I feel more guilt about not feeling guilt, and don't know if that's the right thing.


Note, it's been a few weeks since. I'm moving out on the 20th or so, she doesn't know at all, and to make it worse, her birthday is the 14th and her client (in home healthcare), who is also get best friend, is dying.

Fermented Tinal posted:

The ultimate brick wall is probably weight, failures are due to components being engineered to fit specific roles based upon the cost of the materials being used.

funny Star Wars parody posted:

Cop Porn Popper posted:

I've always wondered, barring the limitations of an accessory drive/transmission, what determines the upper limit for rpms of a rotary engine? At a certain point, I'd assume how much air/fuel can be pulled through the ports creates a limit, but what limits it before that that you can't engineer past?


Basically, paging spyder to the chat thread!

Cop Porn Popper posted:

Is there a big difference between the eccentric shaft in the renesis v the earlier 13Bs given its given a 9k redline and 10k fuel cutoff? Is it just tighter machining tolerances/better balances that allow it to be wrung out higher while stock? I've never really delved into the why of rotaries, but now that I have access to one, I'm kinda excited to learn stuff.

cakesmith handyman posted:

Metal gear, sounds like you've spent a long time trying to fix someone who only half wants to be fixed. Your future goals are incompatible and if you stick together to make a future one or both of you will have to compromise heavily and end up very unhappy.

If she's not willing to earn any more money that's a problem. She's going to have financial trouble when you split but that's not your fault.

I won't criticize the cheating, life's complicated.

funny Star Wars parody posted:

cakesmith handyman posted:

Metal gear, sounds like you've spent a long time trying to fix someone who only half wants to be fixed. Your future goals are incompatible and if you stick together to make a future one or both of you will have to compromise heavily and end up very unhappy.

If she's not willing to earn any more money that's a problem. She's going to have financial trouble when you split but that's not your fault.

I won't criticize the cheating, life's complicated.

cakesmith handyman posted:

Metal gear, sounds like you've spent a long time trying to fix someone who only half wants to be fixed. Your future goals are incompatible and if you stick together to make a future one or both of you will have to compromise heavily and end up very unhappy.

If she's not willing to earn any more money that's a problem. She's going to have financial trouble when you split but that's not your fault.

I won't criticize the cheating, life's complicated.

LloydDobler posted:

This. I can understand the whole deaf culture thing but music is so amazing that I can't imagine life without it, and would be desperate to share it with my child. Hell, I am and do. My daughter has had to deal with multiple instances of me sitting her down for an hour and going through the history of one band/artist/genre just so she really gets it. The cool part is that as she gets older, even though she protests at first, she appreciates it. Last year I made her listen to Pink Floyd The Wall from start to end and as we got to "goodbye cruel world" she was so involved in the story she actually gasped and went "OH NO!" and started to choke up. It was an amazing experience, and I'm not even a big Pink Floyd fan, but I appreciate what a landmark album that is.

Other "sermons" she's had to deal with:

Best of Depeche Mode
Michael Jackson and how amazing talent can come from a really hosed up life.
Janet Jackson with Paula Abdul side trip
The evolution of Rap from rappers delight into Gangster Rap into modern rap
White people trying to steal rap
Best of Crowded House
I was a Christian in high school so that's why I listened to Stryper, now you have to too.
Epic rock songs of the 60's/70's (Stairway to Heaven, Iron Man, Pinball Wizard, Baba O'Riley, Dust in the Wind, etc etc etc)
The drummer for Def Leppard only has one arm!
Boy bands are a marketing gimmick for dumb young girls, just look how the formula never changes. No you weren't supposed to like it and I won't buy you Justin Timberlake paraphernalia.
Butt rock of the 80's, Oh great now you're a Cinderella fan.
Grunge of the 90's
When I first heard of Die Antwoord I thought it was a joke but god drat look at some of what they do now.
Why Insane Clown Posse should be harvested for their bacon and then discarded (Fuckin magnets! How do they work? is a running gag between us).

In addition to that I continue to discover good music, I buy 30-40 new albums every year. And I share it all with her, she has over 5000 tracks on her iphone that she genuinely appreciates, all from the last decade.

And I will do these things till I die.

cakesmith handyman posted:

Metal gear, sounds like you've spent a long time trying to fix someone who only half wants to be fixed. Your future goals are incompatible and if you stick together to make a future one or both of you will have to compromise heavily and end up very unhappy.

If she's not willing to earn any more money that's a problem. She's going to have financial trouble when you split but that's not your fault.

I won't criticize the cheating, life's complicated.

Cage posted:

Very slimy to mess around on your gf, no sex since Feb is tough? Please.

Rhyno posted:

I don't know if I have the vocabulary to describe how I feel right now. My girlfriend said that when her father passes away she doesn't know if she'll be able to not think about his feelings towards our relationship. I get that she's an emotional wreck but that was not what I wanted to hear.

Fermented Tinal posted:

E: You want to know what is lack-of-sex tough? My left hand and I are in a deeply committed relationship that has lasted 6 years.

Raluek posted:

This is the girl that basically forced you to have a kid with her because she'd leave you if you didn't, right?

If that's not a sign of things to come, I don't know what is.

spog posted:

I tried to construct an AI analogy here, but it got messy. Something alone the lines of 'if the bodyshell is completely rust-riddled; it doesn't matter how many patches you weld over it, it's still fundamentally broken'

cakesmith handyman posted:

The body might look adequate but the frames rotten so you'll still fail inspection. Or crash at the next speedbump.

So I woke in a panic last night, realising I've missed my MOT renewal. First thing this morning I ring the garage, can they fit me in?: don't know, the mechanics are late. Call later.

Call later, yes they can fit me in if I get there in 15.

Have to take my daughter (3), wife takes son to buy a present for a party he's attending. Daughter and I drop the car off and start walking to the train stain to get home. Wife rings, daughter is supposed to come to party too, she'll pick us up. So I end up at a kids party, but it's cool, meet new adults, they've got an animal show and tell thing too so I get to pet a skunk and a meerkat.

11:10 Phone rings, car passed, come pick it up. Cool, you guys close at 1 right? No, they're closing early today. I have 50 minutes. Cute 24 theme.

Can't take wife's car, options are:
walk to home, cycle to garage, ETA 12:00
Walk to train station, train, walk to garage. ETA 12:15
Walk to bus stop, bus, walk to garage, ETA 12:15.

poo poo. I start walking/jogging. I stop jogging and start having breathing difficulties. Get home and get bike out. Massive urgent need to poop. 5 minutes later start cycling. ETA 12:00.

Got there at 11:55, nearly dead. Receptionist is very sympathetic and finds it hilarious. Now I have to fit a full sized mountain bike in a fiat panda, thank God for quick release wheels as I've no tools.

Panic when car starts rattling on the way give before I realise it's because I wedged a bike in there.

Fun day.

Tomarse posted:

I have a box of assorted O-rings with over 20 different sizes in and none of them match exactly. I don't think anything in my selection box has ever been exactly the right size...

quote:

You need to find a garage whom you can ring when getting there before closing is impossible and get them to just hide your keys somewhere so you can collect it after they close. I am very slightly concerned that one day their dogs will eat my keys before I arrive but it hasn't happened yet...

quote:

Were you looking at Morris's the other week? my dad just bought 2. If you want a rusty body that needs welding and an engine that needs a rebuild (both separate items) I can probably get you a very good deal!

Rhyno posted:

I don't know if I have the vocabulary to describe how I feel right now. My girlfriend said that when her father passes away she doesn't know if she'll be able to not think about his feelings towards our relationship. I get that she's an emotional wreck but that was not what I wanted to hear.

funny Star Wars parody posted:

cakesmith handyman posted:

I always wonder about those boxes when I see them, probably no harm in having never picked one up.

They lock the compound and have dogs loose. They also have a fighter jet on the roof, a bunch of army vehicles and I'm sure the owner drives a salamander. I also trust them with anything, they've never ripped me off in any way whatsoever.

Long term I want a traveller. After a good long think about it I'm happy to rebuild the woodwork myself but apart from front clip & engine/gearbox nothing major in the Minor ( ) fits the traveller.

fridge corn posted:

I've put an offer in on a house

Rhyno posted:

I don't know if I have the vocabulary to describe how I feel right now. My girlfriend said that when her father passes away she doesn't know if she'll be able to not think about his feelings towards our relationship. I get that she's an emotional wreck but that was not what I wanted to hear.

fridge corn posted:

I've put an offer in on a house

rdb posted:

We all make expensive mistakes

Biodome posted:

cakesmith handyman posted:

Now I have to fit a full sized mountain bike in a fiat panda, thank God for quick release wheels as I've no tools.

funny Star Wars parody posted:

Biodome posted:

angryrobots posted:

Are we posting dogs I have a dog

NitroSpazzz posted:

Dog posting time?

Tomarse posted:

Say goodbye to all those fun car projects you have been dreaming off for atleast the next 5 years (at least).