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Shiki Dan posted:I honestly believe that Vince McMahon/Donald Trump are the only real friend that each one of them has. Vince McMahon and Dick Ebersol were really close friends before the XFL blew up, and probably still are despite that
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Feb 4, 2017 17:19
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It's funny to me that the Trump confession is one of the most believable confessions in the entire thread.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:21
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RCarr posted:It's funny to me that the Trump confession is one of the most believable confessions in the entire thread. I don't believe he's a good tipper or that he would attempt to tip White House staff. The rest checks out, I'll even believe he's nice to the staff.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:23
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WampaLord posted:I don't believe he's a good tipper or that he would attempt to tip White House staff. The rest checks out, I'll even believe he's nice to the staff. yeah but it's a good idea when you do trips to resorts. You tip big in the beginning so they do a good job during your stay, then a lower amount as time goes on
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Feb 4, 2017 17:31
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The Hulk Hogan thing is kind of a tell that the Trump one's fake.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:49
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For me the tell was that Donald Trump would never attempt to give someone else money of his own volition.
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Feb 4, 2017 17:56
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Dogbrisket posted:The Hulk Hogan thing is kind of a tell that the Trump one's fake. Yeah that should have been left out.
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Feb 4, 2017 18:00
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Any other president and I'd agree.
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Feb 4, 2017 18:22
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Cannibal goon is loving metal
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Feb 4, 2017 18:39
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WampaLord posted:This was disturbing to learn when he was on the campaign trail, but it's my understanding that basically all Presidents sleep this little due to the demands of the job. It definitely took its toll on Obama. He went from cool young president to Morgan Freeman's slightly younger brother in 8 years.
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Feb 4, 2017 19:44
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really? He aged over the span of 8 years? Well I never
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Feb 4, 2017 19:58
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According to my school-counselor wife, it's unlikely that Barron Trump has autism, because he's had to be on stages and in front of big crowds, and a 10-year-old with autism couldn't handle that without it being visible unless he's either (a) super high-functioning or (b) drugged-up to hell and back, either of which is possible but both of which make me doubt a little bit. It's too bad because that was my favorite anecdote from that list. Anyway, confessions.quote:I got married at age 16 due to teen pregnancy. I'm dumb and my ex wife was dumb and her family refused to support us unless we got married and made it a true relationship in the eyes of God. So no great shock, we lived in a loveless, angry marriage for about 2 years. quote:I had pretty terrible body dysmorphia in college and believed myself to be morbidly obese, despite only being slightly overweight. I was 5 foot 8 and 180 lbs.
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Feb 4, 2017 23:23
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show her this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtdD4UGYbGk
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Feb 4, 2017 23:27
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loquacius posted:I had pretty terrible body dysmorphia in college and believed myself to be morbidly obese, despite only being slightly overweight. I was 5 foot 8 and 180 lbs. loving lmao. yes dude you are just a jiggling balloon filled with loose sloshing butter. you should try again but start with your neck fat, its the most visible.
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Feb 4, 2017 23:37
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Jose posted:show her this lol yeah wonder why people think that kid born to an orange old man might have some brain problems.
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Feb 4, 2017 23:43
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Police Automaton posted:The update is that they took everything. It's rip for my body. My spirit, however, remains unbroken!
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Feb 5, 2017 00:02
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The Management posted:Another confession thread success story. Have fun with it, therapy goon. But be aware that when you're "better" she's probably going to lose interest and be into another patient. For some reason, I doubt it. Sorry for double post, I'm very overtired.
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Feb 5, 2017 00:05
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quote:I got married at age 16 due to teen pregnancy. I'm dumb and my ex wife was dumb and her family refused to support us unless we got married and made it a true relationship in the eyes of God. So no great shock, we lived in a loveless, angry marriage for about 2 years. He's 17 and mad. How often do you see him?
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Feb 5, 2017 00:31
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So the white house fesser gets to sit in on important meetings and has constant contact with Trump yet still has to wash the sheets? Bullshit edit: I just want some decent interesting confessions is that so much to ask 
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Feb 5, 2017 01:12
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8 Ball posted:So the white house fesser gets to sit in on important meetings and has constant contact with Trump yet still has to wash the sheets? Bullshit Its like that guy from the Clinton era Secret Service who made similar claims. Then the Service was all like LOL NO you didn't have anything like that access.
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Feb 5, 2017 01:51
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Don't be so hard on yourself for what your son said, lazy piece of poo poo bad father man. He's 17 and angry. Angry 17 year olds saying hurtful things are throwing these out there because they are hurtful, not because they mean it. You're still in his life, which is better than many. Continue to do so and your relationship will heal. Home liposuction person, Jesus did your fesh make me wince hard.
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Feb 5, 2017 01:53
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loquacius posted:According to my school-counselor wife lol ok
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Feb 5, 2017 01:54
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Gimbal lock posted:Don't be so hard on yourself for what your son said, lazy piece of poo poo bad father man. He's 17 and angry. Angry 17 year olds saying hurtful things are throwing these out there because they are hurtful, not because they mean it. You're still in his life, which is better than many. Continue to do so and your relationship will heal. Yeah seriously. Still in his life? Not bad compared to a lot of fathers. Convince him to join the service.
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Feb 5, 2017 01:55
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Yea being 17 and male is a recipe for that kind of thing, which is why we have a "No, you shut the gently caress up Dad" thread tag. He'll mellow out in time.
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Feb 5, 2017 02:04
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quote:I just had to tell this to someone because that's the lowest I've ever felt in my life. Probably not as low as the day you paid  to join these forums. Just remember that the next time junior yells, "gently caress YOU, DAD!".
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Feb 5, 2017 02:22
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If he's still calling you 'dad' and not your first name or 'poo poo head' then you can still go lower. He could even be breaking your knees with a louisville.
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Feb 5, 2017 02:46
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Sjs00 posted:If he's still calling you 'dad' and not your first name or 'poo poo head' then you can still go lower. He could even be breaking your knees with a louisville. At 17 with him being 35 or so? That would be pretty sad.
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Feb 5, 2017 02:46
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loquacius posted:Hulkster in the White House Anton Chigurh posted:I want to believe.
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Feb 5, 2017 05:08
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aren't there logs of who goes in the white house?
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Feb 5, 2017 05:33
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I don't know why but the Rich Gumhead one made me really laugh.
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Feb 5, 2017 11:27
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I Love Jesus posted:Aren't there logs of who goes in the white house? Yes I'm sure they're publicly available right next to the list of secret service codewords and the nucular launch codes
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Feb 5, 2017 12:00
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quote:I run a subcontracting service for a city near the US-Mexico border, and thanks to the Trump administration I am swimming in Mexican pussy. The expansion of ICE staff, deputized local law enforcement, and racist attitudes have all spread a lot of fear in the local immigrant community. This makes it easier to compel my undocumented workers to have sex with me. See previously, if they got deported, they would just come right back. But now it is much more likely they will languish in some ICE hold in a hastily-constructed prison expansion in the middle of the desert. quote:For the past 7ish years I've looked for ways to reduce my sex drive. It's not particularly high but I would much rather spend the energy on my hobbies or work. Spending 10 hours a week jacking off is a huge waste of time and I could really use the sleep. I've stopped working out but it hasn't helped. Supposedly, black licorice helps but it's just gross to me. Why is this so hard to research? Haven't monks been trying not to jack off for thousands of years? At this point you'd think that we'd have figured a plant out that helps, or something.
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Feb 5, 2017 15:17
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have you tried teamocil, goon who wants a lower sex drive?
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Feb 5, 2017 15:20
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drat dude that's a lot of jacking off
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Feb 5, 2017 15:29
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Second goon who wants the lower sex drive - try looking in the mirror whenever you think about jacking off.
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Feb 5, 2017 15:36
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Can I confess that I don't know the story of the "pissbitch" in the thread title? What was that about?
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Feb 5, 2017 15:50
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hosed-Up Little Dog posted:Can I confess that I don't know the story of the "pissbitch" in the thread title? What was that about? One of the thread superstars in an earlier iteration of this thread overcame shy bladder by telling himself to "get beefy bitch" and also "get REAL beefy you little queefer pissbitch" etc etc and then found himself repeating those phrases uncontrollably in his head all the time I don't think it's in the archives though, forum search didn't find the original post
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Feb 5, 2017 16:00
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I was in a bathroom stall at work the other day and somebody came in, went to the urinal, and started trying to psyche themselves up. "Come on. You can do this. Just do it. Nobody's here." I walked out of the stall and they instantly shut up.
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Feb 5, 2017 16:05
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:I was in a bathroom stall at work the other day and somebody came in, went to the urinal, and started trying to psyche themselves up. "Come on. You can do this. Just do it. Nobody's here." I walked out of the stall and they instantly shut up. Did you both awkwardly look at each other or did you both just pretend the other one wasn't there?
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Feb 5, 2017 17:07
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Il Federale posted:Did you both awkwardly look at each other or did you both just pretend the other one wasn't there? I made a beeline to the sink and then the door without looking at him. I didn't want to know who it was. I'd probably know him by the voice but I think that'll be a much better realization. I'll hear my boss say the word "nobody" and lose my poo poo.
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Feb 5, 2017 17:12
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