TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

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	500888	49.95%
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Total:	1002682 votes

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Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

and as you all know, my perceptions of reality are always the most accurate and the best.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:30

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:04

slouch: Mar 10, 2009

alnilam posted:

No offense but why are ppl talkling about those bad card knives, just carry a reg small locking knife

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirpan

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:30

jarofpiss: May 16, 2009

greg abbot is a son of a bitch and that branch should have finished the job

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:31

kemikalkadet: Sep 16, 2012

The Brown Menace posted:

ISIS standards have been slipping lately

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ3g2HAy2Ic&hd=1

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:31

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Schnorkles posted:

DeVos is bad for republicans because I have never seen so many apolitical white moms furious about the whole IEP and Betsy being clueless thing.

The critical flaw in your thinking is assuming that Democrats will do anything to capitalize on this.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:32

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

Schnorkles posted:

and as you all know, my perceptions of reality are always the most accurate and the best.

embrace the solipsistic void

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:32

Rangpur: Dec 31, 2008

Vladimir Putin posted:

I don't think you can predict that with any kind of accuracy. In a conventional war the US would destroy Iran and suffer minor casualties. If it's a protracted insurgency then the body count will go up, but it will depend on how the political part of the equation will go.

Minor in the historical sense, yeah. Probably still higher than we've seen in a conventional war for quite a while, though. When was the last time we fought a war with someone who didn't basically just roll over for us? Of course that's assuming Trump doesn't just decide to nuke Tehran.

edit: Ha. Yes, the "political part of the equation." Good thing delicate diplomatic negotiations which avoid alienating potential stakeholders is a Trump administration specialty!

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:32

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

mormonpartyboat posted:

harodl and kumar go to hogweeds

to learn vape magic

Hogjorts Wizarding Technical School

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:33

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/829025647771148288

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:32

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

https://mobile.twitter.com/pbump/status/829050182335660032

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:33

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

paranoid randroid posted:

Hogjorts Wizarding Technical School

pottycloggus expelliarmus

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:34

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

Montasque posted:

https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/829025647771148288

oh gently caress off george

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:33

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

mormonpartyboat posted:

embrace the solipsistic void

yes, Yes!

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:34

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

mormonpartyboat posted:

look, the president has been clear,

Yet another example of something they didn't let Obama do that Trump can

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

magiccarpet: Jan 3, 2005

Rangpur posted:

Minor in the historical sense, yeah. Probably still higher than we've seen in a conventional war for quite a while, though. When was the last time he fought a war with someone who didn't basically just roll over for us? Of course that's assuming Trump doesn't just decide to nuke Tehran.

but we are going to keep an occupying force there to take the oil, so it wont be a nuke.

lol.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

Captain_Maclaine: Sep 30, 2001; Every moment that I'm alive, I pray for death!

slouch posted:

American Identity Patriotism and Loyalty � We believe the current teaching of a multicultural curriculum is divisive. We favor strengthening our common American identity and loyalty instead of political correctness that nurtures alienation among racial and ethnic groups. Students should pledge allegiance to the American and Texas flags daily to instill patriotism.

ThatOneKellyCartoon.jpg

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

Typo: Aug 19, 2009; Chernigov Military Aviation Lyceum
The Fighting Slowpokes

octobernight posted:

About 20% of teacher union members voted Trump.

HAHAHAHA

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

tacodaemon: Nov 27, 2006

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Yet another example of something they didn't let Obama do that Trump can

lol

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:34

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

Phi230 posted:

Would like someone to explain why Iran is more deadly than Iraq.

I know it'll be bad but wanna see an effortpost

loving look it up yourself doofus. Start with Iran's pop v Iraq's, wiki its geography, and its stable and effective politcal/military systems.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:36

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

well unfortunately, chaps, it appears that Minister of Magical Education Betsy DeVos has slashed all our funding and diverted it to a strip mall theological institute in Shropshire

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Trash Trick posted:

oh gently caress off george

Oh myyyyy

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:35

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Yet another example of something they didn't let Obama do that Trump can

obama really only has himself to blame for not reading dianetics

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:36

OhFunny: Jun 26, 2013; EXTREMELY PISSED AT THE DNC

I'm reminded of Amy Chua's 2nd book where she examined various reigning superpowers of the ages and concluded one of the factors in their success was being more tolerant of ethnic divisions compared in other nations of the time and that the hegemony's power starts to slide as growing intolerance undercuts the nation from within.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:36

suburban virgin: Jul 26, 2007; Highly qualified lurker.

Phi230 posted:

Would like someone to explain why Iran is more deadly than Iraq.

I know it'll be bad but wanna see an effortpost

Much bigger population, much bigger geographically, entirely made of lovely hills and mountains, longer coastline (so you can't lock it down so easy, allows them more opportunities to launch missiles at your dumb boats trapped in the loving gulf), no allied nations to launch from aside from Iraq (lol) , Turkey (gently caress u) or Pakistan (lmao), population are ethnically and religiously unified and contains a shitload of actual religious zealots instead of Iraq's cowardly technocrats, Russia can quietly supply them forever and laugh as your bodies pile up, there would be traffic jams of people trying to drive carbombs into your poor schmuck marines etc etc. All of this assuming they don't actually have stockpiles of NBC weapons which they actually might.

It's not a good idea.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:36

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

lol america

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:38

Zokari: Jul 23, 2007

octobernight posted:

About 20% of teacher union members voted Trump.

they should pass a law forcing these people to wear helmets for their own safety

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:37

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

Phi230 posted:

Would like someone to explain why Iran is more deadly than Iraq.

I know it'll be bad but wanna see an effortpost

someone made an effortpost about it but basically the tl; dr is that iraq was a flatlands make-believe country with mondo ethnic/religious faultlines which broke it the instant someone knocked, none of which applies to iran

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:37

Atoramos: Aug 31, 2003; Jim's now a Blind Cave Salamander!

So what happens now? I'm going to assume there's no fix coming for the ballooning of costs in upper education, and we'll likely see public schools take a hit from some dumbfuck move like a voucher system. Meanwhile, automation is growing and the need for labor is slowly dying. If the populous was self-aware, we'd see a call for available higher education. I don't expect that's actually going to happen now. Technology could assist with this somewhat, with more classes being available free online (I've already worked with a number of programmers through the years that had degrees in other things, but learned the skill on their own). But that's a bandaid because it's ludicrous to suggest everyone could pull themselves up by their bootstraps and learn a skill online.

I don't think we'll end up with a massive underclass of uneducated trump stooges, but I also don't believe we'll solve the problem ourselves through technology and community. Given the chance, there's a good number of families who just wouldn't educate their children. I guess the hope is The Fall� is fast and ruthless rather than slow and miserable.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:38

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Jose posted:

lol america

where we're going you're coming with us b!tch :twisted:

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Atoramos posted:

So what happens now? I'm going to assume there's no fix coming for the ballooning of costs in upper education, and we'll likely see public schools take a hit from some dumbfuck move like a voucher system. Meanwhile, automation is growing and the need for labor is slowly dying. If the populous was self-aware, we'd see a call for available higher education. I don't expect that's actually going to happen now. Technology could assist with this somewhat, with more classes being available free online (I've already worked with a number of programmers through the years that had degrees in other things, but learned the skill on their own). But that's a bandaid because it's ludicrous to suggest everyone could pull themselves up by their bootstraps and learn a skill online.

I don't think we'll end up with a massive underclass of uneducated trump stooges, but I also don't believe we'll solve the problem ourselves through technology and community. Given the chance, there's a good number of families who just wouldn't educate their children. I guess the hope is The Fall� is fast and ruthless rather than slow and miserable.

we're all going to die.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

Anime Schoolgirl: Nov 28, 2002

OhFunny posted:

I'm reminded of Amy Chua's 2nd book where she examined various reigning superpowers of the ages and concluded one of the factors in their success was being more tolerant of ethnic divisions compared in other nations of the time and that the hegemony's power starts to slide as growing intolerance undercuts the nation from within.

but the fourth reich will last 1000 years

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

i think its a good thing that students as young as 8th graders will be able to have a debate in their home ec class - rather than having to wait until they are adults posting on an internet forum - on which rounds are best to kill home intruders without too much wall penetration

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:39

tenderjerk: Nov 6, 2008; Can't post for 357 days!

Schnorkles posted:

we're all going to die.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Atoramos posted:

So what happens now? I'm going to assume there's no fix coming for the ballooning of costs in upper education, and we'll likely see public schools take a hit from some dumbfuck move like a voucher system. Meanwhile, automation is growing and the need for labor is slowly dying. If the populous was self-aware, we'd see a call for available higher education. I don't expect that's actually going to happen now. Technology could assist with this somewhat, with more classes being available free online (I've already worked with a number of programmers through the years that had degrees in other things, but learned the skill on their own). But that's a bandaid because it's ludicrous to suggest everyone could pull themselves up by their bootstraps and learn a skill online.

I don't think we'll end up with a massive underclass of uneducated trump stooges, but I also don't believe we'll solve the problem ourselves through technology and community. Given the chance, there's a good number of families who just wouldn't educate their children. I guess the hope is The Fall� is fast and ruthless rather than slow and miserable.

devos is going to fix ballooning of costs by ending IBR/PAYE/PSLF, meaning people can't take out infinite grad loans and then not paying them, leading to the schools having to charge less!

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

Rangpur: Dec 31, 2008

magiccarpet posted:

but we are going to keep an occupying force there to take the oil, so it wont be a nuke.

lol.

On the contrary, now you can send off all those pesky political undesirables and illegal immigrants off to work the Rad-Fields. To say nothing of the bidding for a contract for a private firm to manufacture protective gear! The possibilities are endless!

Basically, when a gigantic radioactive nightmare-amalgam of Hispanics and registered Democrats is laying waste to the heartland with its acid breath we'll have no one but ourselves to blame.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:41

OhFunny: Jun 26, 2013; EXTREMELY PISSED AT THE DNC

Phi230 posted:

Would like someone to explain why Iran is more deadly than Iraq.

I know it'll be bad but wanna see an effortpost

Reposting Schizotek's effort post:

quote:

Schizotek posted:
Iran warmongering freaks me out more than just about any other Republican stupidity. Even tons of leftists think it'd be "another Iraq". Invading and occupying Iran would not be anything like Iraq. It'd be waaaaaaaaay worse. For a quite a few (mostly mountain-related) reasons:

Lets look at who we'd be fighting. First of all Iraq had less than half the population of current day Iran. A ~third of which are Kurds who were pretty much defacto independent and hostile to Saddam and Sunni militant groups alike. The vast majority of those left were Shiites who don't join Sunni Islamist orgs and weren't exactly keen on Saddam either. So the pool of people that were potentially recruitable by post-Saddam militant groups probably consisted of 5 million people tops. Iran, on the other hand, pretty much have the Balochs, a few million Kurds, and nobody else in the "would never join up with militants in a statistically significant way" camp. So you're looking at a recruiting pool of, oh, lets say 60 million people. Who on average have a much, much stronger sense of national identity than Iraqis do. This isn't some arbitrary chunk of land thats been haggled over and passed around like an army camp hooker between half a dozen empires for the past 800 years. Even the most "pro-western" Iranians are not going to be chill with being invaded. Also likely to be way better armed.

Now lets look at the environments we'd be fighting in. Iraq at one point had a significant amount of forest and swamps that might have been useful to hide out in. Less so at the time we invaded. Outside of Kurdistan, who were cheering us on, Iraq is as flat as a pancake. Pretty much all Sunni Arab civilization in the country is clustered around a handful of rivers. Between these rivers are exposed flatlands. There's no hiding out in the wilderness here. The core cities are Shiite. It's honestly about as ideal a situation you could ask for to fight against a Sunni insurgency.
Iran, well, lets see how the population is distributed first.

Whereas Iraq had one giant population cluster that pretty much everything radiated out from, Irans population is spread out over quite a few regions. Keep in mind Tehran alone is significantly more populous than Baghdad, and quite a few of Iran's other cities are pretty big in their own right. With rural supporting populations to match, which don't conveniently follow a small number of rivers like they do in Iraq.
Oh and lets talk about topography now, starting with the Tehran (circled in red) area:

Boy howdy what a fun place to fight a massive loving insurrection in. And whats that on the other side of the Alborz? Why its the jungles of Hyrcania! Some of the most dense forests in the world. This lovely combination of landscapes is an insurgents wetdream and has made for some fun history.

Medieval accounts of struggles to bring the region to heel typically describe what we would today call guerrilla warfare, in a time period where that wasn't much of a thing. Arab commanders marched armies in and their mace-crushed skulls were thrown back out. Fun.
Ok so Tehran is a nightmare, what about that Esfahan place, surely it's not as bad? Conceded, its landscape isn't as hostile as the Alborz:

The Zagros range is only as bad as most of Afghanistan. How about Tabriz?

How about some mountains? How bout Kermanshah?

How bout some more loving mountains? Uh....Shiraz?

Pretty sure you knew the answer at this point. And the answer is loving mountains.
Ok so you're looking at this topographic map of Iran and you notice that this Ahvaz place isn't in the Zagros range and is in some nice flat-STOP! You remember all those marshes Iraq used to have? Well they're pretty hosed up here too, but they still exist.

The poor fuckers who get sent here can get their very own Vietnam experience marching through the oil polluted mudflats of Khuzestan! Which for the past while have also gone through a massive drought thats raised a poo poo ton of dust storms, while not actually making the ground any less mudflatty.
Alright. What about that Mashhad place way up in the Northeast? It's Irans second biggest city and the mountains seem less dense and and and-

No.

There's no relevant area where the terrain isn't hostile as gently caress to an occupying force or the people would even grudgingly tolerate our presence the way the Shiite areas of Iraq did. We'd probably lose more people in the initial government toppling than in the entire War on Terror to this point. It'd be impossible to hold without massive Vietnam level death-tolls, and even then I'm not actually sure we could. Due to having a million different fronts it'd be mind mindbogglingly expensive, to the point that it might actually cause the US to go the way of the French Fourth Republic. Don't loving invade Iran.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

Trumps Baby Hands posted:

When the kids of America run in feral packs across the apocalyptic wastelands it's not going to matter whether or not they learned their times tables

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

OhFunny posted:

I'm reminded of Amy Chua's 2nd book where she examined various reigning superpowers of the ages and concluded one of the factors in their success was being more tolerant of ethnic divisions compared in other nations of the time and that the hegemony's power starts to slide as growing intolerance undercuts the nation from within.

given how many of trumps boosters are "western civilization" fanboys youd think a few of them would look at history and realize that a shift towards exclusion of the Goths, away from traditional methods of integration, was one of the immediate causes of the Roman collapse

but of course their texts are all like The Politically Uncucked Guide to Superior Roman Civilization, by Sulla the Trigglypuff Slayer, so they probably blame the feminizing influence of christianity

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:41

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Americans have a lot more in common with the average Iranian than any other country in the Middle East.

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:40

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 00:04

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

https://thenib.com/the-frog-and-the-scorpion

# ? Feb 7, 2017 20:42

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

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