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Not quite a full on mule kick, haha, that would have owned though. Just stood a few inches from the door, turned around, lifted my foot up and knocked with it basically
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Feb 9, 2017 16:55
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I think I'm going to add knocking entirely too hard to my repertoire. I already have the far too strong handshake and stare down.
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Feb 9, 2017 16:59
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Glenn Quebec posted:I think I'm going to add knocking entirely too hard to my repertoire. I already have the far too strong handshake and stare down. Find some mantra and scream it too as loud as you can like the Soldiers Creed or the NCO Creed are good starters
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Feb 9, 2017 17:00
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"Boardsmanship" made me laugh. It doesn't sound too dissimilar from how my partner described his medical board exams. Confidence and presentation mean at least as much as being able to recite whatever random poo poo you needed to memorize. Makes me glad I didn't have to deal with that sort of poo poo in accounting.
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Feb 9, 2017 17:01
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Now SGT HCT we're going to ask about current events.... WHO IS GOING TO WIN THE NBA PLAYOFFS???!?
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Feb 9, 2017 17:03
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Naked Bear posted:EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND KNOCK THREE TIMES LOUDLY ON THE DOOR. ITS THE SQUADRON CONFERENCE ROOM AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES LIKE MY PLATOON SERGEANT TOLD ME TO. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN MY BOOTS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY BECAME A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE ORDERS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT
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Feb 9, 2017 17:05
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loving nice
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Feb 9, 2017 17:07
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Feb 9, 2017 17:08
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Looks like I got some competition for my EVERY MORNING I OPEN PALM SLAM rendition of Caro's Syria adventure.
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Feb 9, 2017 17:54
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Hey, if you were married to someone in the military and they die or get killed or something, the military takes care of you, right? Asking for a friend.
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Feb 9, 2017 18:30
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McNally posted:Hey, if you were married to someone in the military and they die or get killed or something, the military takes care of you, right? Hahahahahaha
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Feb 9, 2017 18:34
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Tias posted:Very interesting stuff. Wouldn't singing, cleaning, yard work and other chores normally be considered a good tool for building discipline? Just so you know, all these words like discipline, morale, esprit de bullshit, professionalism, integrity, they don't mean what you think they mean. I mean, they do, but the military has different meanings for them. It turns out that all these buzzwords that they throw around have exactly one meaning : crippling, boot on neck control. Military never got out of the draft mind set. So you need crippling god like control over everyone, and give them a basic skill set that enables them to be just good enough to catch a bullet for their country.
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Feb 9, 2017 18:42
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Post the most military buzzword you can think of. I'll start: Tradition
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Feb 9, 2017 19:12
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Heart
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Feb 9, 2017 19:15
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CAVEAT
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Feb 9, 2017 19:28
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COMMA HOWEVER
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Feb 9, 2017 19:29
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hct etc., if you could go back to the age where you joined the military, what would you do instead? and how do you think you/your life would be different now as a result?
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Feb 9, 2017 19:38
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Pesticide20 posted:Post the most military buzzword you can think of. I'll start: Tradition LODDY DODDY EVERYBODY
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Feb 9, 2017 19:59
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BEHOOVE
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Feb 9, 2017 20:02
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HEY YOU
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Feb 9, 2017 20:04
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Flikken posted:IT WOULD BE HOOAH OF YOU
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Feb 9, 2017 20:04
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METT-TC
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Feb 9, 2017 20:10
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:HEY YOU You must mean someone else, I'm going to just keep going. Naked Bear posted:METT-TC My answer to every question. Uniformity! Dress right dress!
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Feb 9, 2017 20:17
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Kill like, used instead of "neat-o"
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Feb 9, 2017 20:18
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Where's the best/worst place you pooped while in the military? Tell me your poop stories goons. e: I was making GBS threads on a mountain once and got poop on my suspenders. Selklubber fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Feb 9, 2017 |
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Feb 9, 2017 20:36
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Fort Knox, got the trots during a run and I was a mile away from the nearest porta potty. Ran into the nearest treeline through some not so nice underbrush and squatted. Wasn't in great shape after running the last two miles back to the start with a lovely rear end.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:43
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Selklubber posted:Where's the best/worst place you pooped while in the military? Tell me your poop stories goons.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:46
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Sounds like an itchy butt affair.
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Feb 9, 2017 20:46
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One time after the DFAC had been serving their funky Mexican corn stuff, I was strolling back to the barracks (must've been a weekend, I was in civvies) when I was suddenly overcome with that feeling. I was less than a hundred meters from the barracks, but it was so sudden and intense that I nearly shat myself right there. I had to stop for a second to kind of... pull my butthole back in, then I rangewalked like never before to the door. The bathroom immediately in front of the door was not usable for whatever reason, so I hoofed it up the stairs as quickly as possible, still urging my anus to stay strong while my guts gurgled and stomach roiled. As I smashed through the bathroom door, I feared that I would not make it. I started to undo my belt and pants, then I spun around as soon I got into the stall while slamming the door shut and dropping trou. As my rear end was still on the way down, my butthole erupted and corn spewed forth, drenching the entire toilet. I spent who knows how long in there, dying on the toilet as my soul drained out through my rear end.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:09
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Naked Bear posted:One time after the DFAC had been serving their funky Mexican corn stuff, I was strolling back to the barracks (must've been a weekend, I was in civvies) when I was suddenly overcome with that feeling. I was less than a hundred meters from the barracks, but it was so sudden and intense that I nearly shat myself right there. I had to stop for a second to kind of... pull my butthole back in, then I rangewalked like never before to the door. The bathroom immediately in front of the door was not usable for whatever reason, so I hoofed it up the stairs as quickly as possible, still urging my anus to stay strong while my guts gurgled and stomach roiled. As I smashed through the bathroom door, I feared that I would not make it. I started to undo my belt and pants, then I spun around as soon I got into the stall while slamming the door shut and dropping trou. As my rear end was still on the way down, my butthole erupted and corn spewed forth, drenching the entire toilet. I spent who knows how long in there, dying on the toilet as my soul drained out through my rear end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jEM8-Gbknk
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Feb 9, 2017 21:18
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Naked Bear posted:One time after the DFAC had been serving their funky Mexican corn stuff, I was strolling back to the barracks (must've been a weekend, I was in civvies) when I was suddenly overcome with that feeling. I was less than a hundred meters from the barracks, but it was so sudden and intense that I nearly shat myself right there. I had to stop for a second to kind of... pull my butthole back in, then I rangewalked like never before to the door. The bathroom immediately in front of the door was not usable for whatever reason, so I hoofed it up the stairs as quickly as possible, still urging my anus to stay strong while my guts gurgled and stomach roiled. As I smashed through the bathroom door, I feared that I would not make it. I started to undo my belt and pants, then I spun around as soon I got into the stall while slamming the door shut and dropping trou. As my rear end was still on the way down, my butthole erupted and corn spewed forth, drenching the entire toilet. I spent who knows how long in there, dying on the toilet as my soul drained out through my rear end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KTB3t1t7dk
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Feb 9, 2017 21:20
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One time in Afghanistan, we were doing a mission in the middle of buttfuck nowhere after getting dropped in by helicopter. We set up a nice little patrol base with camo nets and everything. On the third and last day, one of our HUMINT guys suddenly had the urge to poo poo. He hadn't taken a dump since the mission started (MREs, y'know), so this was bound to be a bad one. He debated it for a sec, then quickly got up and hustled out to a wadi a short distance away. Some time passed, and somebody wondered aloud about what had happened to him. As an intel weenie, it was entirely possible that he had somehow managed to get himself kidnapped or killed, so this was actually a bit of a concern. Not long after those thoughts were aired, we saw him slowly coming back up out of the wadi. Everything seemed hunky dory until he got far enough out for us to see that he wasn't wearing his pants. As he got closer, we noticed that, not only was he not wearing any pants, he had his combat shirt pulled down as far as possible like a skirt, and had his belt over it to keep it in place. "I didn't make it." He didn't bring his pants back. They were destroyed. Now, this would just be a regular ol' funny poop story if his pants situation had not presented us with a serious problem. Not he nor anyone else had bothered to bring an extra uniform; we were only going to be out there a few days, why bother? This was now a problem because he would need to be wearing pants in order to fly, and the birds would be showing up that evening to extract us. Our other platoon came back. They didn't have any pants. The infantry platoon we had attached finally came back a while later. By sheer luck, one of their guys happened to have brought an extra pair of pants. With that bullet dodged, we got picked up on schedule. Turns out that he had developed some kind of thyroid problem and had to be sent home early, then got medded out some time after we redeployed. 
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Feb 9, 2017 21:35
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King Louie posted:hct etc., if you could go back to the age where you joined the military, what would you do instead? and how do you think you/your life would be different now as a result? I've stopped asking myself this question because I tend to spiral way further into depression when I realize how much I hosed myself maybe but at the same time who knows maybe life would have been way worse, it's hard to say, I guess there's no use wondering about it anymore, can't change the past etc
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Feb 9, 2017 21:38
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In basic at Knox, we were doing the FOB exercise during our last (second to last?) week. I was taking a dump in one of the porta-shitters when a DS decided that it was time for an attack and threw arty sims into a pit immediately behind the shitters. Fortunately this time, I had just barely finished squeezing out my poo poo. The shitters shook again from more "incoming" and snow flew off as I went out the door with my dick still out to assemble with my QRF team. Didn't get to wipe.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:43
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Pro-tip: save one of the wooden crates that your ammo cans come in. Toss the little wood ends and wire it back up, then use that as a portable shitter. Hang a trash bag over it and go to town. It's a nice little piece of civilization that you can toss up on your truck and take with you. Nothing beats taking a relaxing morning dump under the sun.
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Feb 9, 2017 21:46
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Another time, I had a couple of PSYOP chicks on my truck for a week or so. Most of the time, having weird people from another unit on your truck is a pain, but they were actually pretty cool and pulled their weight, so this was a welcome change. Anyway, it was probably a strange sight for the ANA to see women in uniform out there with all of the dudes, so they were creeping on those two the entire time, like staring at them while they'd piss and whatnot. After a few times, I just gave them the crate shitter (seriously, it's an awesome thing to have) and would raise the ramp so they could go inside the truck. loving weird.
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Feb 9, 2017 22:02
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The military is 90% poop stories.
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Feb 9, 2017 22:03
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Had a dude get sick during a 2+ hour long convoy so everyone told him to just stick his rear end out and let it go, since we couldn't/wouldn't stop. Ya'll haven't lived till you see a quarter of an rear end sticking out of a tiny porthole in an 1114 explosively create a jackson pollack on the side of the vehicle. Which was then charbroiled on since it was like 110 degrees outside and we still had an hour to go.
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Feb 9, 2017 22:38
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we had a chick pop her helmet off and piss in it on one convoy we called her Pissy Sissy for the rest of the deployment
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Feb 9, 2017 22:43
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There was once a soldier who peed, In a kevlar, in an emergency: She missed not a drop then replaced it atop. She now goes by Pissy Sissy
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Feb 9, 2017 23:59
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