quote:

The gambler confession and the responses to it prompted this confession.

I also bet on sporting events, but I bet on WWE matches. It seems really stupid to an outsider - but look at it this way. It is a sporting event that already has a predetermined outcome. If you have an inside source with that outcome, you're effectively seeing the future. Which I do.

I made roughly 18k on the Royal Rumble this year, and a few thousand on the lesser PPVs. But Wrestlemania is my golden goose. I bet on it last year. Got almost every match correct (I had to throw a few to not make it too obvious) and made big money on oddball questions like how a match would end and how long they would go. I ended up with around 30k.

This year I'm betting much bigger and stand to win around 100k if I play it similar to last year. My inside source has been 100% accurate so far, and I give them a fair cut of my winnings to keep the info flowing.

My inside source is important enough that I don't even think this could get them fired. He or she is on TV every single week and is about as close to untouchable as you can get without being a McMahon.

quote:

I set up a fake at-home massage therapy business. Set up a website after getting an old massage table at a garage sale. I then set up an ad in the yellow pages, which people shockingly still use and is dirt cheap to advertise in. After I got a few clients I started putting flyers up at my local gym, grocery store, bakery, and a few other places I expected a high female clientele to walk through.

I photoshopped fake certificates and papers if anybody asks to see them, but almost nobody does.

I have massaged around 100 women in the year I've had this business. Most with some amount of clothing on, but not always. I always do this with a rigid erection, then furiously masturbate either in their bathroom or on the car ride home. I have yet to attempt sex with anybody but I hope to cross that path soon.

And to dispel some ideas the goon hive mind will surely have about me: I'm not a fat loser, I'm actually 5' 6" and 240 lbs, in good shape. There are many women I could date if I wanted to, but I prefer doing it this way since I won't get stuck paying for some broad or ending up with an unexpected baby.

loquacius posted:

Say it ain't so, Kane


The height and weight thing tipped this over into "not believable" territory, maybe cut back on that. Flying a little too close to the sun.

quidditch it and quit it posted:

Non-anonymous confession: my first proper girlfriend was into being slapped during sex. I am also slightly stupid. So after we split up, I'm in bed with my new girlfriend, and I thought "man, she'll loving love it if I give her a gentle slap as we're loving"

She didn't. Because she hadn't told me about her previous abusive boyfriend.

That ended up not being a great evening.

limp_cheese posted:

I'm 5' 9" and regularly go to the gym with a naturally fit body type and I'm 185 and still a little overweight. How the gently caress is someone 3 inches shorter than me and 80 pounds heavier in shape? Do you have 2% body fat and are so jacked it looks like your head is WAY to small for your body?

I'm the first to tell people to suspend belief and just believe but come on......

OMGVBFLOL posted:

lmao 5'6" x 240 is like a loving human cube

OMGVBFLOL posted:

lmao 5'6" x 240 is like a loving human cube

Sjs00 posted:

He just has really really big hands like Jack Kelley, Lawyer.

quote:

I have a powerful, all-consuming fetish that basically runs my life. I have changed jobs to accommodate it, have moved across states, ended and begun relationships, and spent thousands of dollars.

I have a fetish for women with unusual colored skin. Think the green alien women for Star Trek, I think that's what first got me going. Since then I've gotten really involved in the cosplay scene, moved to San Diego to be around for Comic Con, and started working at a factory that produces mannequins. I've also ended a few relationships with women when they refused to body paint before sex.

I was really motivated to send this in because, last night, I was watching FaceOff and they had a challenge to make the Monster High girls in to movie ready makeups. I got a huge boner and started researching those dolls. Long story short, I have around $1400 worth of Monster High Dolls coming to my house. For me to cum on of course.

quote:

Hey - just another goon here who also j/o's to the TV show Mighty Magiswords.

It's good, the character design is top notch, it has some amazing waifus in it, and the voice work just adds to it. There's not really a big community online for adult male fans but I think we're starting to pop up (pun intended).

I'm not a pervert but I do like to chill out and watch it after work while playing some pocket pool. It gets me relaxed by the time my wife gets home from her job.

quote:

I'm not a pervert

Solice Kirsk posted:

I had a girlfriend with a rape fetish. We had to break up because I couldn't keep myself aroused when she was screaming "no."

OMGVBFLOL posted:

what in the sam hell

LethalGeek posted:

Sexual abuse is a hell of a thing

Less she was one of the ones who just is wired that way. I know who is and never had anything bad happened to her.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I immediately backflipped the gently caress out of that.

quote:

Like a lot of people, I was pretty obsessed with Dragonball Z growing up. I went so far as to create my own World Martial Arts Tournament for my nerdy middle school friends in my backyard. This is the story of the 3rd annual World Martial Arts Tournament.

The first 2 tournaments were fun and 8 of us had these little wimpy fights. The winner in both cases was my brother, who actually had some athletic skill and was nearly a foot taller than most of us. So when the third year came around and he was in juvenile hall, we were excited to see who might be the new champion. We had sign ups at school and I knew everybody except for 2 kids. One was a weird foreign exchange student and one was the focus of this confession.

The day of the fights come and everybody is there, including a tall kid in an orange jumpsuit and rubber mask. The mysterious 8th combatant, who I started to believe was my brother, somehow out of juvi. In the first round he absolutely demolished his opponent and I was convinced it was him. Round 2 he fought me and knocked me out of the ring in less than 30 seconds. Had to be my brother.

Final round comes and it's my friend James vs my brother. They lock up and suddenly James falls to the ground screaming. He had a knife stuck in his ribcage. Orange jumpsuit guy runs away.

Turns out it wasn't my brother at all, it was a guy James used to smoke weed with and stole 50 bucks from. This guy used my sacred tournament as an excuse to try and kill James. We called 911 and James was okay, but he lost a lot of blood and we closed down the tournament after that. We could never prove it was that kid so he never got in trouble.

Just writing this out makes me realize I lived a pretty white trash life lol

quote:

I am a 24 year old man and currently in a purely sex driven relationship with a 70 year old woman. She has an incredibly tight body as she used to be a model in the 70 and 80s, and her fake boobs are still holding up quite well. It's the best sex of my life, no lying.

I do not tell anyone this for the obvious reasons - they suspect I'm either a pervert or a gold digger. I am neither, just a man in a great FWB situation with someone a bit older than him. Sometimes it is a little weird to think she was middle aged when I was born, but it doesn't matter too much to me.

loquacius posted:

Thanks for pitching in, H.H

also I have a suspicion that the second Mighty Magiswords confession was just the first guy again

Jose posted:

i bet that granny fuckr is the same as the previous and just confessing again to brag

The Management posted:

A lot of girls feel very conflicted about needing to protect and preserve their virginity (or making it special or whatever) while at the same time being horny teenagers. The fantasy of losing control and being raped is a weird manifestation of this that takes the choice out of their hands and gives them what they want.

Anne Whateley posted:

I think that fantasy also happens for some girls because it's a way to have sex, which they want, while still being a "good girl" and not having it be "their fault." Obv it's still fine to want no part of that, I just mean it can come from less hosed-up places than having been abused.

Anne Whateley posted:

"Lots of girls are socialized to think sex is shameful" is literally the opposite of . Or are you objecting to the "teenagers are horny" part?

quote:

i just bought an account after getting only a one day probation from last night

this website brings me closer to myself and you guys and i was looking forward to shitposting tonight and honestly the next 24 hours are worth the ten bucks (assuming i don't get probated again)

also i sent this email from the account i registered on

quote:

Ever since I was in high school, when I talk to and befriend people I try to "become" them. Basically whatever they like, I like and whatever they think I do too. I avoid disagreements whenever possible and I have to be pressed really hard to give an opinion before I know what yours is. Even when I do it is just a guess and if you disagree I will backpedal immediately.

This was never a problem until I started hanging out with multiple groups of friends at once at my current job. The root of the problem is politics - some of my friends, including my probably soon to be former girlfriend, are stereotypical hipster liberals and so am I when talking to them, but others are trump supporters and we talk about anything from hating mexicans to muslims to jews etc.

It all came to a head a couple days ago when I found out they talk about me behind my back and one mentioned I was at a protest to one of the trump guys and I was confronted. Both groups were confused and wanted to know which was the real me.

My confession is I can't answer that. I tried to tell them it was all real but it all just blew up in my face and none of them want anything to do with me. My girlfriend, who is mexican american, wants to leave me because of some of the things I said about illegal immigrants. I tried to explain I didn't actually mean it but she wasn't buying it. I wish I had my own opinions and beliefs but every time I try to decide on one I panic and end up finding the answer in an SA or other forums posts or the news, at least until I am challenged on it.

fesh posted:

" I avoid disagreements whenever possible and I have to be pressed really hard to give an opinion before I know what yours is. Even when I do it is just a guess and if you disagree I will backpedal immediately."

Stuntman posted:

value-brand cereal posted:

The second one is that loving Mike Dawson idiot, isn't it.

Take your meds dude.

quote:

1) I can only orgasm if there's emo music or a My Chemical Romance song playing. I like sex so it's no big deal if there's no music playing but sometimes I have to get a song I really like stuck in my head if I want to get off.

2) My boyfriend recently said he'd like to see me get hosed by another guy and while I said no to that, I am kind of curious about it. He feels bad because his dick doesn't work well due to a medication issue so I'd rather not do anything like loving another guy because who knows if it's some weird guilt driven kink that will just make things worse.

3) I pretty much only take shits at work, in public restrooms, or at friends and family's houses because I don't want to have clean my toilet more than once every two weeks.

4) I really love my job, which shouldn't be a secret, but it's social services and I feel a little bad for not aspiring to work in a STEM field because so many people in my life do. I'd probably kill myself if I worked in STEM to be honest.

quote:

My husband has become a racist, right wing psychopath over the last year and I'm finally going to leave him.

It started as the election heated up, and we argued over that a lot. I will spare you that since I'm sick of it, but my husband was extremely pro-Trump and based this solely on his feelings and his thought that a woman couldn't be president. He told me, and I quote "I love you honey and you're the smartest woman I know, but I sure wouldn't trust you with the nukes on your period". This lead to the worst fight we ever had.

Since the inauguration things have only gotten worse. He is constantly on facebook posting things along the lines of "Liberals are the real racists, against white men like me." and just today claimed that Trump is so hated because he's a tough dad in an unruly house full of spoiled millenial brats. My husband and I are both in our mid 20s.

Today he posted an article from Fox News that was an excerpt of a book about how "Alpha Women are ruining marriages" and tagged me in it. He then posted a bunch of comments with stuff like "Women need to be soft, isn't that right Kim???" and "Kim understands a woman's place."

Yeah, I do understand a woman's place, and it sure as gently caress isn't taking your bullshit.