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The best possible use for these resumes would be if someone were trying to prove to the government or their parents that they were actively seeking employment but had no intention of taking a job. They would be putting in the effort of applying but with no possible chance of getting hired. Unless by some chance the person in charge of hiring were insane. This is all assuming that the people who made these resumes had any awareness of how horrible they are, and that seems unlikely.
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Feb 15, 2017 16:14
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EmmyOk posted:Does anyone have that really terrible CV where all the pages are coloured gold and it's full of OMGSORANDOM stuff. Oh you're looking for a job again?
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Feb 15, 2017 16:49
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Solice Kirsk posted:*reads resume while nodding with approval Pastry of the Year posted:"I like the cut of his bib" Some days this forum is all that keeps me going
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Feb 15, 2017 16:50
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Okay so it's all awful, right. But check out the bottom of page two, where she's constantly switching back and forth between things like "first aid trained" and "health and hygiene training" (lol sure). Mixing up the word forms like that drives me up the loving wall. Items in a list should always be the same part of speech.
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Feb 15, 2017 16:55
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walrusman posted:Okay so it's all awful, right. But check out the bottom of page two, where she's constantly switching back and forth between things like "first aid trained" and "health and hygiene training" (lol sure). Mixing up the word forms like that drives me up the loving wall. Items in a list should always be the same part of speech. Doesn't "health and hygiene training" mean she worked at McDonald's or something once?
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Feb 15, 2017 17:00
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IT could also mean she took a health class in sixth grade
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Feb 15, 2017 17:29
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I think we got first aid and CPR certs in our mandatory health class in 10th grade. I've also been asked to get it for various jobs. It's not exactly worth adding an eighth page to your resume just to include it, though.
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Feb 15, 2017 17:38
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Solice Kirsk posted:I believe she was applying for a job as a Financial Planner. IIRC it was for a clerk position at GameStop. Or was that the pony one? It's probably both.
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Feb 15, 2017 17:39
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The pony guy is starting a grad program in CS, so he could probably go around in a loincloth and smear himself in feces and he'd never want for employment.
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Feb 15, 2017 17:41
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walrusman posted:The pony guy is starting a grad program in CS, so he could probably go around in a loincloth and smear himself in feces and he'd never want for employment. I was thinking the same thing, that's a pretty fuckin good resume. Just not aesthetically.
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Feb 15, 2017 18:17
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Feb 15, 2017 23:56
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RDJ and his wife photobombing a couple while a dog gets laid in the background is great and good e: I assume they're photoboming, dog confirmed having a great time tho
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Feb 16, 2017 00:04
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Feb 16, 2017 00:05
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I'm the dog having sex.
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Feb 16, 2017 00:06
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AUG stands for 'Awkward Ugly and Gross' not 'Amazing and Unbelievably Great' btw (by the way)
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Feb 16, 2017 00:07
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Jerry Cotton posted:Oh you're looking for a job again? lol I just saw this and yeah thanks for filling my role and forcing me making me leave Police Cops
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Feb 16, 2017 00:09
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I was surprised that CV was written by a girl.
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Feb 16, 2017 00:15
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Benny Harvey posted:I was surprised that CV was written by a girl. Yeah, they started teaching women to write now. I gotta say, I think that's trouble on the horizon.
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Feb 16, 2017 00:54
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Benny Harvey posted:I was surprised that CV was written by a girl. I'm not; it bleeds monkeycheese in a way that reads very Attention-Starved Insecure Female to me. source: 
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Feb 16, 2017 01:02
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Feb 16, 2017 01:07
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THERE IS NOTHING AUG ABOUT KUMAMON
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Feb 16, 2017 01:08
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Text translation is: Whoa
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Feb 16, 2017 01:58
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EmmyOk posted:AUG stands for 'Awkward Ugly and Gross' not 'Amazing and Unbelievably Great' btw (by the way)
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Feb 16, 2017 02:00
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:THERE IS NOTHING AUG ABOUT KUMAMON Kumamon's fine, it's just keanu reeves not knowing how to react and also being hit by a strong breeze is really funny to me.
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Feb 16, 2017 02:06
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rumble in the bunghole posted:Kumamon's fine, it's just keanu reeves not knowing how to react and also being hit by a strong breeze is really funny to me. He's... just standing there. What are you going on about?
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Feb 16, 2017 02:42
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Mustached5thGrader posted:He's... just standing there. What are you going on about? I guess he's supposed to react with some sort of emotion, but that might be asking a bit much from Keanu.
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Feb 16, 2017 03:12
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Kumamon is externally woah, Keanu is internally woah it works somehow
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Feb 16, 2017 03:15
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Who wants a kiss?
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Feb 16, 2017 05:05
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oh no
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Feb 16, 2017 05:22
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 Looks like that crispy cheese you see on overcooked pizza Edit i can't stop looking at it. That's awful. How does that even happen? That picture could be a vomiting aid
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Feb 16, 2017 05:35
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areyoucontagious posted:
Don't GIS exfoliative cheilitis.
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Feb 16, 2017 05:48
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I uh...I'm just gonna keep my lips immersed in mouthwash for some hours ok cya
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Feb 16, 2017 06:38
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If this poo poo becomes more common, people in the 3rd world are going to start waking up in hotel rooms with their lips missing, victims of the back market lip transplant trade.
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Feb 16, 2017 08:12
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:If this poo poo becomes more common, people in the 3rd world are going to start waking up in hotel rooms with their lips missing, victims of the back market lip transplant trade. The wax lip industry is gonna come roaring back!
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Feb 16, 2017 08:18
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Feb 16, 2017 08:20
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Somebody count them so we can know how many times he(?) clipped his nails to make that picture
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Feb 16, 2017 08:22
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Sponge Baathist posted:Somebody count them so we can know how many times he(?) clipped his nails to make that picture Air tasker that poo poo
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Feb 16, 2017 08:23
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gently caress god what why
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Feb 16, 2017 08:26
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:gently caress god what why
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Feb 16, 2017 08:37
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That made me shake my head and say nope in an empty room like a sitcom character
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Feb 16, 2017 12:46
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