Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER
to continue on the jewish education tangent, my dad took a second job as an evening teacher at like, the lovely remedial yeshiva in an orthodox community in NYC, and those kids were actually loving monsters. like, physically violent sociopaths, no joke. he brought me there once when i was like, 8 or 9 and those guys literally tried to hassle me as a small child

HAHAHA ,YES. EDWARD BALLS. ED BALLS. IT IS MY ED BALLS.


Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

triple sulk
Sep 17, 2014



where is the happening

bean mom
Jan 30, 2009

https://twitter.com/aljwhite/status/834019919389917185

Mao Zedong Thot
Oct 16, 2008



yo atr is so fuckin relevant right now

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

not like milo can get on twitter anyway

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

MODS CURE JOKES posted:

to continue on the jewish education tangent, my dad took a second job as an evening teacher at like, the lovely remedial yeshiva in an orthodox community in NYC, and those kids were actually loving monsters. like, physically violent sociopaths, no joke. he brought me there once when i was like, 8 or 9 and those guys literally tried to hassle me as a small child

HAHAHA ,YES. EDWARD BALLS. ED BALLS. IT IS MY ED BALLS.




and they have a million of them. yeah orthodox are a bit of a hassle to deal with.

Fidel Castronaut
Dec 25, 2004

Houston, we're Havana problem.

cumshitter posted:

i was the only one of irish catholic descent in the class which was pretty obvious when Dr. Rabbi read off names for attendance.

"No, Cumshitter. You can't do your final paper on Jesus. I feel like you've misunderstood the point of this class."

i never really thought of "cumshitter" as a catholic name but it kinda makes sense now that i think about it.

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

gat dang thats hot

Asproigerosis posted:

Unfortunately, I'm just so nervous that this is just all fake news and paid protestors.

you are a certified retard

Mao Zedong Thot
Oct 16, 2008


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plAr3adKbyc

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Darkman Fanpage posted:

and they have a million of them. yeah orthodox are a bit of a hassle to deal with.

having a half brother that went orthodox and ended up with like 12 kids, i can say in full confidence that orthodox jews are fuckin insane

Agrajag
Jan 21, 2006

gat dang thats hot

Business Gorillas posted:

having a half brother that went orthodox and ended up with like 12 kids, i can say in full confidence that orthodox jews are fuckin insane

the video of the new york cyclist that got detained by a lynch mob of orthodox jews was pretty insane

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEKhgBye5K0

punchymcpunch
Oct 14, 2012



tom arnold is the president of the united states

Lastgirl
Sep 7, 1997


Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

cumshitter posted:

yes but ill ahve to skype you from the toilet

im buzzed and had a long day so im gonna share the cool MLK version ofthe sermon on the mount i found. jesus mentioned like 3 things and they were (in no particular order)

"If a man asks you for his robe give it to hime." roman nobles would find ways to put poorer farmers into debt so they could claim their land. legally they were required to provide a debtor a robe so they wouldn tfreeze to death at night. getting naked in front of someone was supposed to shame them because you werent supposed to show your naked obdy

"if a man asks you to walk a mile go two." roman roads had mile markers. a roman soldier could ask as citizen of judea to carry his pack for one marker. if you carried it for two you could report them to the legionarre or whatever and potentially get them in trouble

"if a man strikes you on the left cheek show him your right." back then apparently you used your left hand to wipe your rear end and poo poo and your right for eating. you had a "clean" and a "dirty" hand. sinc eyou smack someone with the back of your hand showing your right cheek would force them to hit you with the "clean" hand and bring them down to your level.

this is all probably wrong but i thought it was cool and wroth sharing

That's pretty interesting.

History chinese telephoned this into "if youre a christian, you get a free pass into heaven, no matter how lovely of a human being you are."

Schnorkles
Apr 30, 2015

It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

:stare:

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy

MODS CURE JOKES posted:

to continue on the jewish education tangent, my dad took a second job as an evening teacher at like, the lovely remedial yeshiva in an orthodox community in NYC, and those kids were actually loving monsters. like, physically violent sociopaths, no joke. he brought me there once when i was like, 8 or 9 and those guys literally tried to hassle me as a small child
g
HAHAHA ,YES. EDWARD BALLS. ED BALLS. IT IS MY ED BALLS.




now im imagining young 50's style jewish greaser punks being chased out of a kosher deli/market with a broom by the shopkeep

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Lastgirl posted:

emoticons help with intoning your irony

comboing your emoticons can be quite powerful, observe

:ocelot::grin:

LG is an incredibly powerful poster

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004
Fun Shoe
cucks post music youtubes nao plz

Turdfuzz
Jul 23, 2008

whats irony

Turdfuzz
Jul 23, 2008

cuz if its a sex thing kno about it

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

cumshitter posted:

yes but ill ahve to skype you from the toilet

im buzzed and had a long day so im gonna share the cool MLK version ofthe sermon on the mount i found. jesus mentioned like 3 things and they were (in no particular order)

"If a man asks you for his robe give it to hime." roman nobles would find ways to put poorer farmers into debt so they could claim their land. legally they were required to provide a debtor a robe so they wouldn tfreeze to death at night. getting naked in front of someone was supposed to shame them because you werent supposed to show your naked obdy

"if a man asks you to walk a mile go two." roman roads had mile markers. a roman soldier could ask as citizen of judea to carry his pack for one marker. if you carried it for two you could report them to the legionarre or whatever and potentially get them in trouble

"if a man strikes you on the left cheek show him your right." back then apparently you used your left hand to wipe your rear end and poo poo and your right for eating. you had a "clean" and a "dirty" hand. sinc eyou smack someone with the back of your hand showing your right cheek would force them to hit you with the "clean" hand and bring them down to your level.

this is all probably wrong but i thought it was cool and wroth sharing

i'm gonna use this script the next time i get a national magazine service solicitation call.

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER

cumshitter posted:

now im imagining young 50's style jewish greaser punks being chased out of a kosher deli/market with a broom by the shopkeep

*rakishly leans on jukebox with one leg cocked out* i'd give this thing a whack and play some sick klezmer tunage... but it's the sabbath, lmao, don't wanna burn in hell for my bubbeh

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Baloogan posted:

cucks post music youtubes nao plz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoIaOKg4Otw

Schnorkles
Apr 30, 2015

It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.
i-i-irony-san

triple sulk
Sep 17, 2014



Business Gorillas posted:

having a half brother that went orthodox and ended up with like 12 kids, i can say in full confidence that orthodox jews are fuckin insane

i mentioned an nyt article earlier about orthodox jews in brooklyn going for trump and it isn't surprising because they treat the women like poo poo

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



one of my fav mitch mcconnell things was when he had to deal with rand paul coming up to him to try to talk kentucky-senator strategy when mitch knew there was a probably-hot mic right next to them and rand didnt give a poo poo

for those of you who weren't following US politics yet in 2009, it is useful to know that mcconnell will resent paul forever for screwing up his plan to replace the former senator in paul's seat, the beloved-in-kentucky-but-senile old baseball player jim bunning, with a non-senile younger senator who would also be a lockstep GOP establishment figure. the planned establishment replacement was a guy named trey grayson, but rand paul came out of nowhere riding the tea party wave to take the junior kentucky senate seat and piss off mcconnell for the entire rest of mcconnell's life by not being a 100% standard republican

anyway, the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYdoSUCVDyU

Turdfuzz
Jul 23, 2008

oy vey!

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER

triple sulk posted:

i mentioned an nyt article earlier about orthodox jews in brooklyn going for trump and it isn't surprising because they treat the women like poo poo

lamo they literally have their own religious police force with the ability to detain and poo poo

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

Turdfuzz posted:

whats irony

your existence

Schnorkles
Apr 30, 2015

It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Sir Tonk posted:

your existence

wow


wow

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
*a bunch of 50's street thugs gather under a lamplight and sing that hebrew wedding song barbershop quartet style*

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER
check out these sweet lawnorder jewbois



:doink:

Zerg Mans
Oct 19, 2006

You know what I found out today

Puff the Magic Dragon is a sad loving song.

punchymcpunch
Oct 14, 2012



why did 50s punks click their fingers all the time, anyway?

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER

zegermans posted:

You know what I found out today

Puff the Magic Dragon is a sad loving song.

nah son, get lit :weed:

Baloogan
Dec 5, 2004
Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/833717902410973187

Tirade
Jul 17, 2001

Cybertron must act decisively to prevent and oppose acts of genocide and violations of international robot rights law and to bring perpetrators before the Decepticon Justice Division
Pillbug

"hide all child comments"

If only milo had pressed that button :(

punchymcpunch
Oct 14, 2012



MODS CURE JOKES posted:

check out these sweet lawnorder jewbois



:doink:

that was mcnulty's second choice

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



you know what's a pretty fun game?

look up the trending milo story on facebook, click on a comment string, and try to find someone complaining that isn't a white dude

:siren:DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS:siren:

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

MODS CURE JOKES
Nov 11, 2009

OFFICIAL SAS 90s REMEMBERER
*extremely ice-t voice* dang man, why the hell these goy bitches always gotta be violatin' kosher law? fuckin sickos... *stares into camera like soul has been broken*

  • Locked thread