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Yawgmoth posted:People spending as much space on their hobbies as they do on work exp (and holy poo poo dude you're trying to get a sales position, no one cares about your bowling average). At one point my wife actually had a couple quick bullet points at the end of her resume regarding athletics (she played a sport in college where she kicked everyone's rear end, and she continues to play in local leagues today and still kicks rear end), and in a recent interview the hiring manager apparently grilled her on "ran six marathons"- he wanted to know which races, what her times were, her training, etc. She was kind of taken aback by his tone in the whole thing, TBH. C-Euro fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Feb 21, 2017 |
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Feb 21, 2017 14:04
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I put my ultra marathon stuff at the bottom of my resume, because it's a reasonably unique hook that can easily be translated into work attributes (persistence, dedocation, etc) and it's a quantifiable achievement. Similarly I include career relevant extra curriculars like toastmasters. What I don't get is when people take up space to say they like reading and sports. When I did a lot more interviews I did like having something there that I could talk to that wasn't strictly about the job, but still about the other person.
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Feb 21, 2017 14:48
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ProperCoochie posted:Anyway, showtime: Don't post this. If you must write something on glassdoor, make it one paragraph about how the leadership are scumbags and advise anyone reading this to get any promises they make in writing. Nothing you've written is particularly shocking, and I can guarantee that no one is going to be so shocked that your boss will be sacked, especially over a glassdoor post. The company cares more about making money than about taking care of its customers and employees? Why I never 
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Feb 21, 2017 14:52
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ProperCoochie posted:For employers, this economy is a buyer’s market, and WXYZ knows it. WXYZ is a collection of three-faced, brownnose, cutthroats. They’re lowballing, exploitive, idiotic ingrates. They deskill you with mundane assignments. They don’t care. They’re mostly staffed by soft, sheltered suburbanites only concerned with their own power and reputations. Their technology rarely works as intended. My Manager was more concerned with being a bro then with managing. They see their workers only as “hands”—they wish their workers didn’t have mouths, brains, or stomachs. They treat you like a simpleton. They lie nonstop. The unprofessional behaviour your managers and client displayed is really awful. Let that stand on its own without all the adjectives.
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Feb 21, 2017 14:58
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Problem! posted:Poll time: how many of you got masters degrees after you started working as a professional? What's your field and what's your degree in? Was it worth getting? I work as an office manager at a state university. I recently (2 months ago) got my MBA and am in the process of tossing job applications out left, right, and center. In the meantime, I've pretty much decided to head back and get an IT certificate so I can get A+, Network+, and Security+ certifications. Hopefully I'll be able to swing a management IT job, but I'll see what time brings. Short version of why I got my master's: I get tuition remission. It didn't make sense for me to not get a master's degree. Your situation is probably different. I'd say give yourself a ten-year* forecast. Can you be reasonably certain that ten years after you get your master's, you'll have recouped the money spent on it? Failing that, do you think that you'll be in a happier place in general? What I mean is, do you think getting it will land you a closer job, one with shorter hours, one that you've always wanted to do, or is generally less stressful? If the answer to both of those is no, I'd say don't get it. *Don't go for "lifetime". From what you've posted, I'd say that you're in your late twenties or earlier thirties. If you aim for "by the time I'm 40-45", you'll have twenty years or more to reap the benefits. If you go for "by retirement", you might only spend a year or two enjoying the fruits of your labors. ProperCoochie posted:Anyway, showtime: You're obviously bitter about being treated terribly. Given their treatment of you, I'd say this is a perfectly normal reaction. That said, don't post this to Glassdoor. It isn't going to change a thing. Because you're so obviously bitter, it will be glossed over if it gets any attention at all. If you have to post it, do what others have said, summarize about bad working conditions (HR is inattentive, clients expect you to be sycophantic, etc.), keep it to under a paragraph, and move on with your life.
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Feb 21, 2017 16:18
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That's what I'm stuck on, I don't know if it'll pay for itself or significantly help me to make the extra work and expense worth it. There's a highly ranked university near where I live that offers a combined MS in engineering and MBA program that sounds perfect for my career path-- except it's a private university ($$$$ and my company will only kick $3000 at me annually for tuition reimbursement) and their MBA program requires you to commit to taking at least a year off from work to complete it.
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Feb 21, 2017 17:31
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Jordan7hm posted:I put my ultra marathon stuff at the bottom of my resume, because it's a reasonably unique hook that can easily be translated into work attributes (persistence, dedocation, etc) and it's a quantifiable achievement. Similarly I include career relevant extra curriculars like toastmasters. What I don't get is when people take up space to say they like reading and sports. Maybe y'all can settle an argument between my roommate and I: How do you hiring folk feel about "creative" resumes? poo poo like getting cute with colors, formatting, fonts, etc. My roommate thinks it's a good way to get your resume noticed, I think it's a great way to notice your resume going into the recycle bin.
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Feb 21, 2017 21:25
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Yawgmoth posted:Maybe y'all can settle an argument between my roommate and I: How do you hiring folk feel about "creative" resumes? poo poo like getting cute with colors, formatting, fonts, etc. My roommate thinks it's a good way to get your resume noticed, I think it's a great way to notice your resume going into the recycle bin. Tasteful colors and unique but functional formatting can work. Mine has a little color and a non traditional format because I am a designer. It's still completely readable and most HR computers can still parse it. As long as it still looks like it belongs to a sane professional adult and isn't completely out of left field for your industry I see no problem with adding a little pop. My Little Resume and other tacky resumes go in the bin.
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Feb 21, 2017 21:59
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I've been running an experiment where I change the colour of Experience/Education/Accomplishments subheaders (three lines in total) to match the target company's main logo colour. For example, if I applied to Facebook, it would be roughly their shade of blue. I'm getting all subliminal on 'em. Conclusion so far: strangely enough, such resumes do seem to produce more responses but it's too small of a sample size to say with certainty. I doubt it actually makes a difference though, because the resumes mostly get auto-converted into plaintext or if they're ever printed it's going to be in black & white. Or it could backfire gloriously if the person reviewing my resume actually hates their job and the last thing they want to see is more of something that reminds them of where they are 
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Feb 21, 2017 22:24
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Relevant to the resume discussion: I just received some applications for a contractor position in our department, thankfully pre-filtered by the contracting agency. I want to show an example of why I loving hate two-page resumes. This resume was two pages long. I've sanitized identifying information, but take a look at this loving first page.  That's a full half of the first page wasted before we even get to the relevant stuff. Even worse, check out that objective statement. That's not an objective. That's not a statement. It's complete and utter horseshit and badly worded at that. It's so badly worded that I refused to believe the applicant wrote it himself. I typed the start of it into Google, and WHAT D'YA KNOW...  If you're going to waste the first half of your resume, at least take the time to make sure your misused space isn't also showcasing a steaming pile of crap.
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Feb 22, 2017 00:48
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Thank you all for the feedback on my rant. I'm not going to post it, I especially wouldn't now that I've shared it here. I'm going to chop it down to a paragraph as recommended and post it anonymously. I had no dreams of my manager being fired, I just wanted him to get grilled and sweat a little. That bit about my manager calling after the firing to get the server admin PW which I immediately gave up bothers me because I should've only given it to the Director that I was promised a meeting with for weeks. Then I could've told him all the BS I got from all angles. But it's the past and I have moved and am moving on. Like I said to my shithead manager, I'm only telling it so that the teachers and students don't have to be bothered with more nonsense. Another awful thing about that whole experience was when I called the school a week after the firing. I wanted to ask about references because as I said, the company wouldn't provide any details to any company that called to ask about me. The finance manager and president said they would not give any references. Getting fired seemingly out of no where from an all girls high school is not a good look for a young man like myself. It's another thing that made me so angry. The much better job I snagged right after asked a couple questions about it and I told the truth and it all worked out. I dealt with some heavy stuff when I was there and it had me in a dark place. It was therapeutic to type it all out. I really was laughing out loud while rereading the log of abuses I kept at that time.
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Feb 22, 2017 01:06
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Problem! posted:That's what I'm stuck on, I don't know if it'll pay for itself or significantly help me to make the extra work and expense worth it. There's a highly ranked university near where I live that offers a combined MS in engineering and MBA program that sounds perfect for my career path-- except it's a private university ($$$$ and my company will only kick $3000 at me annually for tuition reimbursement) and their MBA program requires you to commit to taking at least a year off from work to complete it. The reason I went for my Masters in the first place was because the company I worked for at the time was paying full tuition reimbursement (provided I maintained a B average or higher). The one caveat was that I had to sign an agreement that if I left before the time I spent on the degree (2+ years) I had to pay the money back. The company ended up getting bought by a bigger company, the agreement was nullified, and I left for a better job with a salary increase of $11k per year. That was back in 2005 though. YMMV.
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Feb 22, 2017 01:13
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Cat Army
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I talked to an HR dude and I actually get $5000 per year for a graduate degree, but the university nearby is $13,000 per semester The lesser known smaller college also nearby is $11,000/year for the MBA. Still not worth it I don't think.
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Feb 22, 2017 01:42
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ProperCoochie posted:Thank you all for the feedback on my rant. Purely from reading your perspective alone, I already thought you were a poo poo employee that I want no part of. Sincerely (not being jokey or ironic or anything).
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Feb 22, 2017 06:21
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Can I get a big favor from you guys? I'm part of a Toastmasters Club, and as part of our normal meeting structure we do "Table Topics" which are where someone speaks extemporaneously for two minutes to a prompt. I'd like to do a thing where the theme is "You just woke up after falling asleep at an important meeting, and it's your turn to comment on the presentation" I'm going to have a flip chart with some drawings or buzzwords on them, and that's their prompt. I'm already digging through the PYF awful/funny graphs thread, but if anyone has some amazing buzzwords, or any other thing that would be fun to put on a flip chart, I'd love to hear it.
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Feb 22, 2017 08:50
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Yawgmoth posted:That I can kind of understand, because as you said it translates into positive attributes in a "show, don't tell" way. But gently caress if I'm ever gonna put "top 20 Star Fox 64 player" on my resume unless I'm applying for a writing position at kotaku or some such. Oh yeah? Well that's your call, I'm leaving in that I got all the Silver Balloons in Diddy Kong Racing.  But I never managed to unlock Tick Tock, I hope they don't bring it up. 
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Feb 22, 2017 08:57
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:Can I get a big favor from you guys? "If we unpack, we will unfortunately be lagging in win-win passion." http://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014/#p=1%7C1,40%7C9%7C31%7C%7C%7C1
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Feb 22, 2017 14:30
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ItalicSquirrels posted:"If we unpack, we will unfortunately be lagging in win-win passion." “This product will drill down alignment and demonstrate sustainable performance in synergy.” oh my god
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Feb 22, 2017 14:32
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ItalicSquirrels posted:"If we unpack, we will unfortunately be lagging in win-win passion." Hello new favorite time killer at work.
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Feb 22, 2017 16:27
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We have Toastmasters signs up in the elevators with the old logo. Maybe I'm broken but I start laughing every time I see them. Where's the ring?
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Feb 22, 2017 17:12
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I have no idea what gavels have to do with toast, or champagne toasts.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:22
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Meydey posted:We have Toastmasters signs up in the elevators with the old logo. Maybe I'm broken but I start laughing every time I see them. This is my favorite thing for today. Reminds me of the time in my last lovely job when I presented a completed product to the customer (one department at the same company) I had built it for. I presented the features and answered questions, the customer was content and thanked me for my work, and I went back to my desk. Manager called me in to his office and told me he was concerned because I was so shy during the meeting. Suggested I attend toastmasters to boost my confidence. I was not shy, I was professional and straightforward. What I was not was super excited and shaking the pom-poms going RAH RAH RAH! about our brand new bland line of business app that we were not going to sell or add features to or generally do anything but hand off and forget about. That was his problem, that I wasn't manic the way he would have tried to appear, because that's what everyone wants in the business world: hype and bullshit (a statement that is probably more true than most of us like to think about, so this post is a very small example of why I no longer want to work 1) for my old boss and 2) in corporate.) I did not attend toastmasters.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:35
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One of the bits of this job that drives me bonkers is my bosses inability to plan anything beyond when it should be done. One of the widget testers needed to be fixed, repair could be done next week but he says do it today. Meanwhile I have to finish verifying a new test using a widget tester, when I'm doing this I have to occupy the tester for the whole day. We have two testers that we share between us and another department, the idea being that if one is down we can still work. I pointed out that with both my work and the repair work going on the other department will not have a widget tester. Boss says "they can wait". Now I have about 30 angry scientists yelling me who need to test their widgets and can't because one widget tester is in pieces and the other says out of general service. I'd tell them to bitch to the boss but he is hiding in his office "getting work done" I need to get the gently caress out of here faster, Working for someone who can't plan more than a day ahead is killing me, slowly.
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Feb 22, 2017 17:40
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Edit: nm
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Feb 22, 2017 17:49
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Omne posted:Re-org in late September. UPDATE: Another re-org announced this morning, and not the one my manager was preparing us for (that one is still to come). New VP position created, with my manager and another peer manager being moved under them. So there's no VP, no MD and in one team no manager. IC's literally report directly to the SVP. Yikes. Also, when the SVP promised no more changes, she was blatantly lying as this just-announced change was always happening, they just weren't sure when. Way to kill your credibility right off the bat. And more to come... Omne fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Feb 22, 2017 |
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Feb 22, 2017 19:12
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:Can I get a big favor from you guys? A couple favorites from DoD, if you have a way to print them on:   Some of the captions in the second one work on their own. The Spiral Dynamics movement is especially great for this purpose:  
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Feb 22, 2017 20:01
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Those look like the emails I get from untreated schizophrenics proclaiming themselves to be the messiah.
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Feb 22, 2017 20:05
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Halloween Jack posted:Those look like the emails I get from untreated schizophrenics proclaiming themselves to be the messiah. Then you can imagine how much fun it was to work at a place that had a full size chart of one of them in the meeting room at all times.
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Feb 22, 2017 20:08
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Discendo Vox posted:Then you can imagine how much fun it was to work at a place that had a full size chart of one of them in the meeting room at all times.
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Feb 22, 2017 20:14
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Halloween Jack posted:Will your Time Cube be available for purchase in retail stores, or do I have to order it online? It's available now! In app form.
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Feb 22, 2017 20:26
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One thing I'm definitely going to do is have a bar graphs where the percentages are complete mismatches to the size of the bars. I'm also thinking of doing one with an unlabeled Y axis, that shows something like a rapidly rising stock price. A label that says "My hiring date" and then the graph takes a sharp decline, and then a little peak again that's labeled "my vacation" Maybe they'll say that this slide was prepared by a co-worker, or maybe they'll say the graph represents defects or complaints. Or maybe they'll just roll with it. I think it'll be fun.
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Feb 22, 2017 20:47
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:I think it'll be fun. it sounds like it I had to google what toastmaster was though so it sounds like it's not for me
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Feb 22, 2017 20:48
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Meydey posted:We have Toastmasters signs up in the elevators with the old logo. Maybe I'm broken but I start laughing every time I see them. I cannot unsee this
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Feb 22, 2017 20:59
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Renegret posted:it sounds like it It's pretty big in some corporate spheres. My company has like 6 clubs across two locations in this town alone. I would guess that the quality and feel of each club will vary dramatically from club to club, but one thing I've liked, that I didn't expect was that there is a moderate focus on running an efficient meeting. You've got to have agendas, the meeting should start and end on schedule. The meeting should proceed in order with minimal divergence from the agenda. It's also been nice because it's introduced me to several people from different departments, and that doesn't hurt.
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Feb 22, 2017 21:15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4
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Feb 22, 2017 21:39
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John Smith posted:Purely from reading your perspective alone, I already thought you were a poo poo employee that I want no part of. Sincerely (not being jokey or ironic or anything). Lol Sorry I offended private schools, golf, and $2000 watches.
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Feb 23, 2017 00:11
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:It's pretty big in some corporate spheres. My company has like 6 clubs across two locations in this town alone. I started attending a lunch club a couple years ago and holy poo poo yes. Toastmasters is really good for improving your public speaking but it's very good at showing you what a good meeting looks like (in a well run club). The one thing I don't like about my new job is that I can't attend my toastmasters club anymore.
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Feb 23, 2017 03:21
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:I'm already digging through the PYF awful/funny graphs thread, but if anyone has some amazing buzzwords, or any other thing that would be fun to put on a flip chart, I'd love to hear it. Dr. Arbitrary posted:One thing I'm definitely going to do is have a bar graphs where the percentages are complete mismatches to the size of the bars.  Che Delilas posted:Manager called me in to his office and told me he was concerned because I was so shy during the meeting. Suggested I attend toastmasters to boost my confidence. Discendo Vox posted:It's available now! In app form. 
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Feb 23, 2017 07:29
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I can talk about Spiral Dynamics integration a bit if folks want. It's interesting in that it's a bunch of conventional management think problems, taken to their logical extreme and beyond.
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Feb 23, 2017 08:44
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I was assigned to my boss' project a month or so ago so I could report my hours towards her team. It was kind of a dragged out process for no good reason but we finally sorted it out. A week or so ago I did a translation job for another department towards a customer (mentioned it in this thread) and needed to be assigned 1% towards the customer project so I could report those hours correctly. Turns out they delimited me from my "main" project code so I can't report any hours beyond those I put in towards the customer. And now I'm getting hit by non-compliance reminders because I can't do time reporting. Never heard my boss make a bigger sigh.
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Feb 23, 2017 15:12
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