The Great Goon War, Slight Return (Super-sized tabletop wargaming)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The Great Goon War, Slight Return (Super-sized tabletop wargaming)

«‹›23 »

Loxbourne: Apr 6, 2011; Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.

Trin Tragula posted:

My reading is that the BEF is on a hiding to nothing if it tries to advance alone and without the cover of darkness. I guess we're about to find out whether that's so!

Entirely historically appropriate for the BEF's first combat deployments in 1914. Especially the bit where they're ordered to shore up a wavering French line by marching to places that turn out to be full of Germans.

# ? Feb 27, 2017 21:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 08:11

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

After a couple of delays I just am now adjudicating Turn 22, just finished the movement phase, and all I can say is :captainpop:

Spoilers: Someone finally launched a cavalry charge. It stands an excellent chance of making it to combat!

# ? Feb 27, 2017 22:32

genola: Apr 7, 2011

I can't wait!

# ? Feb 28, 2017 00:18

Terrifying Effigies: Oct 22, 2008; Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.

And to think, a couple turns ago it looked like both sides were going to pull back and dig in :black101:

# ? Feb 28, 2017 00:43

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

Turn 24 just ended. The adjudication is taking double the time it needs to because I just keep stopping to stare at the map and occasionally shake my head in utter :psyberger:

disbelief.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 01:30

Greatbacon: Apr 9, 2012; by Pragmatica

Terrifying Effigies posted:

And to think, a couple turns ago it looked like both sides were going to pull back and dig in

Can't dig in if you don't get your orders is my guess :eng99:

# ? Feb 28, 2017 04:27

Istvun: Apr 20, 2007; A better world is just $69.69 away.; Soiled Meat

So this german offensive now looks like it'll trigger their rout limit, though I guess it's possible the runner will get them reinforcements during the night to stave that off.

God this is addicting.

e: also xthetenth now needs to capture Fableimpot on his own.

Istvun fucked around with this message at 04:31 on Feb 28, 2017

# ? Feb 28, 2017 04:29

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

C'est magnifique, mais n'est ce pas le guerre :psyberger:

Entente
Germans

Bonkers. Utterly, utterly bonkers. Three cavalry companies just changed the course of the battle. It is 7:30pm and the light is fading fast.

n.b. I will gladly discuss the specifics of my rules for close combat and my analysis of why that went so catastrophically wrong after the second 1914 battle begins; they will be a lot less useful in 1915 and I don't want players knowing exactly how it works just yet.

Trin Tragula fucked around with this message at 04:49 on Feb 28, 2017

# ? Feb 28, 2017 04:42

Friar John: Aug 3, 2007; Saint Francis be my speed! how oft to-night
Have my old feet stumbled at graves!

Those cavalrymen are going to have so many medals on their chests they'll deflect artillery.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 04:46

ViggyNash: Oct 9, 2012

Crazycryodude posted:

gently caress

Fitting that this is the first German response to the update, and that it's cryo.

edit: Aw man. cryo's salt is not very honorable, yet so very pitiful because it's all justified.

ViggyNash fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Feb 28, 2017

# ? Feb 28, 2017 05:00

Veloxyll: May 3, 2011; Fuck you say?!

The German Salt is real.

French Elan is also real.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 05:55

sniper4625: Sep 26, 2009; Loyal to the hEnd

I endorse Cryo's HS Chemistry plan.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 06:03

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

# ? Feb 28, 2017 06:04

Fuligin: Oct 27, 2010; wait what the fuck??

Mon dieu... tel elan...
:france:

# ? Feb 28, 2017 06:14

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

The French cavalry did what ???

# ? Feb 28, 2017 06:38

Veloxyll: May 3, 2011; Fuck you say?!

mllaneza posted:

The French cavalry did what ???

Non, the French Cavalry did magnificently

# ? Feb 28, 2017 06:44

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

Sandman is really mad.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 07:47

twig1919: Nov 1, 2011; I am an inconsiderate moron whose only method of discourse is idiotic personal attacks.

Flesnolk posted:

Sandman is really mad.

The thing is from my perspective the Germans got it a bit easier. They had the better arty and brigades, and would have easily stomped the allies if they had planned for contingencies. They assumed that the French wouldn't start to their south, then assumed that they wouldn't be able to call reinforcements to the southern border. Both times, someone had predicted this and the high command dismissed it. The fact that they are even in this battle after losing a whole division immediately says alot about how trin kept it from being a one sided cluserfuck, imo.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 08:16

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

In any game where a DM exists, it also seems to be a really bad idea to mouth off to them like he did.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 08:23

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

twig1919 posted:

The thing is from my perspective the Germans got it a bit easier. They had the better arty and brigades, and would have easily stomped the allies if they had planned for contingencies. They assumed that the French wouldn't start to their south, then assumed that they wouldn't be able to call reinforcements to the southern border. Both times, someone had predicted this and the high command dismissed it. The fact that they are even in this battle after losing a whole division immediately says alot about how trin kept it from being a one sided cluserfuck, imo.

That's how I see it too. The French played wayyy better. I bet Germany would've won had Crazycryodude been the corps commander.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 09:22

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

The round isn't necessarily over yet. All they have to do is hold out in Q until reinforcements arrive, right? That seems maybe not incredibly likely, but possible.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 09:25

Nuramor: Dec 13, 2012; Most Amewsing Prinny Ever!

I don't think you should have brought attention to the runner on the french side. It's a single person on a battlefield of thousands, and I doubt a charging brigade would care much for one guy moving in a different direction, let alone identify him as a runner.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 12:12

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

Aren't runners defined as guys on motorcycles? They would definitely stand out then, not too many of those around.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 12:28

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

As a gameplay conceit I think it's fair.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 13:12

Green Intern: Dec 29, 2008; Loon, Crazy and Laughable

The Germans think that the French 155s are reinforcements and not just misplaced. Oh my.

I think the Germans have lost this, as they've lost the ability to see victory.

Edit: Oh good, Sandman chilled out.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 15:00

cokerpilot: Apr 23, 2010; Battle Brothers! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Lord General! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Emperor, why do I put up with these people?

Don't worry about Sandman he's fine

Edit: See what I say.

That being said Give that command brigade all the loving medals.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 15:04

mossyfisk: Nov 8, 2010; FF0000

This didn't seem terribly surprising to me at all. The Germans moved their guns just as they were about to get charged by what, three times their own numbers? That's the cause of pretty much every loss in these games.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 16:07

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

The German Roll20 is eerily silent. The French Roll20, on the other hand...

(Warning: chatlogs, feel free to skip.)

quote:

Hunt11 (97th Brigade) (GM): The man of the hour is here
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Welcome, HERO OF THE REPUBLIC
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): hail, the conquering hero comes!
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): o7 o7 o7
Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): IMPERATOR
...
xthetenth (6ᵉ Cavalerie) (GM): hey my dad do I get that Croix de Guerre?
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): YES
AND ANOTHER ONE
AND THEN ANOTHER ONE ON TOP OF THAT ONE
Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): Probably gets an honorary Victoria Cross too, since the BEF saw it all
Hunt11 (97th Brigade) (GM): You get enough medals to cover your entire chest
xthetenth (6ᵉ Cavalerie) (GM): okay, I need to finish the rest of the results to see how much chest I have left
Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): oh if you think it ended with just the artillery
tbk (6th Division) (GM): hey i was out at the shops but uh
called it
Hephasto (BEF 2nd Brigade) (GM): I'm actually a little worried about having the BEF charge down La Oeuf and into Quatreprouts
The slope has to be incredibly slick with German blood at this point.
Hephasto (BEF 2nd Brigade) (GM): We might slip and slide in a hilariously undignified fashion.
Hunt11 (97th Brigade) (GM): At this point I am sure the Germans will break at the mere sound of cavalry
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): have xthetenth ride up and wave his sword
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): they'll surrender in terror

quote:

Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): really wondering what the germans could have done differently
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Short version?
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): cuz it seems like they kept making incremental mistakes into a catastrophe
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Not get caught with their pants down at the start
Everything after that is a consequence of it
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): seems like most of their actions were a reaction to us
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Yup
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): them rushing fraise champs, we already have troops aiming it
xthetenth (6ᵉ Cavalerie) (GM): They also kind of seem to have split awkwardly with the guys on the nainville road pinned down and the bouclecourt brigades continually pushing forwards
tbk (6th Division) (GM): it's important to remember that despite us punching well above our weight they still hold saint croissant and we probably can't get it off them
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): cavalry
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): really wonder what their objectives were, to make them act like that

quote:

Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): They could have sent a brigade up la cote as easily as we did
tbk (6th Division) (GM): i'd guess that their early 'enemy sighted' orders might have messed htem up
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): We got to la cote the hard way
All they needed to do was to get a brigade there
And the whole battle would have been completely different
Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): I cannot imagine how much of a clusterfuck that battle would have been
tbk (6th Division) (GM): yeah if they'd parked some machine guns and 7.7s around baguende early...
...
Slim Jim (Chief of Staff) (GM): with the rate at which the roads plugged up
They could have started in battle formation and done better to instantly start machine gunning/bombarding us
But they were literally all marching on the roads
Loel (lucky 99th) (GM): seems like they bet everything that we were spawned in quatreprouts
and didnt move any scouts to less likely scenarios

quote:

my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): question: Who drew all the dicks?
I'm just curious
xthetenth (6ᵉ Cavalerie) (GM): not just dicks it seems
Sullat (55th Brigade) (GM): war. war never changes
tbk (6th Division) (GM): i cannot tell a lie, it was i who drew the dicks
the german one has a pickelhaube
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): it's like animal house in here
tbk (6th Division) (GM): we must proudly thrust against the firm, but yielding enemy rear
AbortRetryFail (98th) (they're dead) (GM): piss range is exactly 4"

quote:

my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Remember this, though: They still have a chance of winning
We need to be ready for desperate measures
On the bright side
They're probably heavily demoralized
I can only hope Hey Gail isn't too active, since she's a calm, rational person in circumstances like this, which is more than I can for most goons.
*can say
We need them to panic now
Tehan II (Artillery Reserve) (GM): Is this about Maximum Elan
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Yes
Remember the damage we almost did to ourselves in DOOOOM AND GLOOOOOM mode
There's a reason why I kept saying "we're winning" "stay optimistic" "we've got them on the run"
all the goddamn time
People start thinking weird when things are going bad

quote:

Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): I feel like much of this battle has been my dad and I misunderstanding each other
which I'm sure has been been bad for both our blood pressures
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): haha
yeah
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): for what it's worth, you've been a pretty great head goon
Flesnolk: Yeah, from my seat (no details) you seem to be the better corps commander.
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): I've spent a good chunk of time doing these kinds of goon games. And you've been one of the best commanding officers.
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Thanks.
I'm glad I've been playing with y'all, and I've been able to rely both on you and tbk
For me, the position is a balancing act between 3 things: Wanting a coherent plan for the whole corps, that requires me imposing my will to some degree; Not wanting to be a micromanaging rear end in a top hat and taking away people's fun; Wanting to have fun myself instead of seeing the game as a chore
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): from where I stand, you've done that balancing act pretty drat well
we had our rough spots and moments of confusion - which is to be expected. But we've been able to get everything cleared up whenever that happens. It's why we've been able to pull our asses out of the fire so many times.
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): Yeah. A lot depended on the team as a whole working together to figure out what the hell we were supposed to do
As much as Slim Jim annoys me to no end, for example, I specifically chose him for his position BECAUSE he tells me things I don't want to hear. :v If I wanted yes men, I'd play Total War. :p
(Slim Jim, I mean this in the best way. You cool)
My biggest fear was basically that I'll have a division commander going rogue
And end up having stupid drama over a game I wanted to enjoy
But thankfully, I got you guys instead

quote:

my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): heh
I wonder how the other thread is doing
This couldn't have been good for their morale
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): they can't be happy
Tehan II (Artillery Reserve) (GM):
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): getting punked by a lunatic brigadier on a horse
my dad (Corps Commander) (GM): And the best part is
He's been annoying them from the sides all the goddamn time
And they never took the chance to finish him off
Tehan II (Artillery Reserve) (GM): When the battle is over, someone needs to go through it all and write the full saga of X
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): the man's a legit goddamn hero
I never expected him to live this long
Bacarruda [22nd Div] (GM): I expected he'd die when I sent him into the farm to buy time
bastard lived
I though he'd die on Le Oeuf
again, he lived
I thought he'd die charging the guns
bastard lived again

The Great Goon War: A Lunatic Brigadier on a Horse :black101:

# ? Feb 28, 2017 16:38

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

Hanging out and talking poo poo in the Roll20 is one of the best parts of these games as a player

# ? Feb 28, 2017 17:05

Pea: Nov 25, 2005; Friendly neighbourhood vegetable

Much like Teddy Roosevelt and his rough riders' charge up San Juan hill is remembered, so too will Xthetenth et la 6i�me's charge up D�jeuner Ridge be remembered by future goons. :france:

Truly, it was a thing of beauty!

# ? Feb 28, 2017 19:42

OpenlyEvilJello: Dec 28, 2009

It seems "x" may refer to the Croix and "thetenth" to the number of them.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 20:06

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

It's so FRENCH I love it.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 20:26

spectralent: Oct 1, 2014; Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

Man I need to get in on the next one of these :allears:

I'm kind of wondering if the amount of insane poo poo they've kept doing is going to lead to a less-static war in the future updates.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 20:36

Invader Zym: Sep 19, 2002

Pea posted:

Much like Teddy Roosevelt and his rough riders' charge up San Juan hill is remembered, so too will Xthetenth et la 6i�me's charge up D�jeuner Ridge be remembered by future goons.

Truly, it was a thing of beauty!

"C'est magnifique, et c'est la guerre."

# ? Feb 28, 2017 20:40

Notahippie: Feb 4, 2003; Kids, it's not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

It's so FRENCH I love it.

I wonder if this has lasting implications for their doctrine. It basically validates the theory of elan. One or two more examples like this the proponents of elan can point to, and I bet you end up with this being the dominant French military theory for much longer than IRL.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 21:19

Natty Ninefingers: Feb 17, 2011

Trench warfare will be as much of a cold sharp shower as ever.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 21:52

ViggyNash: Oct 9, 2012

Can someone link me the Roll20s for the french and germans? I can't seem to find them.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 23:08

Cat Wings: Oct 12, 2012

Oh wow those are some SALTY Germans. I still don't see the French winning, they aren't going to get the runner in time, and the German's still hold Croissant. Best case for the French is they hold their main objective and have driven the German's out of Quatrepoops when the German win condition kicks in.

# ? Feb 28, 2017 23:53

Istvun: Apr 20, 2007; A better world is just $69.69 away.; Soiled Meat

Jewcoon posted:

Oh wow those are some SALTY Germans. I still don't see the French winning, they aren't going to get the runner in time, and the German's still hold Croissant. Best case for the French is they hold their main objective and have driven the German's out of Quatrepoops when the German win condition kicks in.

I rather strongly suspect if the german reinforcements walk in expecting a quick march to Q and face a wall of french, they'll back off and yell at Tevery rather than punch through them.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 00:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 08:11

Flesnolk: Apr 11, 2012

ViggyNash posted:

Can someone link me the Roll20s for the french and germans? I can't seem to find them.

Entente

Germans

# ? Mar 1, 2017 03:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > The Great Goon War, Slight Return (Super-sized tabletop wargaming)

«‹›23 »