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IllegallySober posted:I recognize that this is not normal behavior, but it’s become normal to me in part because it’s not a purely Epicurean pursuit. We live in a labyrinthian apartment complex that’s defeated its share of drivers, yielding a few “Please come to the front gate” submissions and more calls and texts begging for instructions. quote:Did I walk back in and grab a dozen to go? I think you know me better than that by now, dear reader. I called Adam and asked him to look up the bar on Postmates. 
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Mar 4, 2017 04:44
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IllegallySober posted:This isn't as bad as some of the security clearance ones but after the third time my jaw physically dropped I knew I needed to post it here. The whole thing is lengthy but here's some high points.  Who can afford that? She must be a trust fund baby or something.
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Mar 4, 2017 04:45
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DarkHorse posted:Also in general lying is a much worse offense than the offense itself in the eyes of the people that need to trust you with valuable information. See the people denied clearances not because they did drugs or had felonies or debt or bad associations in the past, but lied about them. This guy may have been hoping this fell under that umbrella. How would they ever know that he masturbated 30 times in his car between 1999 and 2003 if he didn't tell them? He could have never mentioned it or lied. Also, I like that his count of how many times he masturbated, undetected, in his office at work is "about six."
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Mar 4, 2017 04:46
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IllegallySober posted:This isn't as bad as some of the security clearance ones but after the third time my jaw physically dropped I knew I needed to post it here. The whole thing is lengthy but here's some high points. You left out the worst part to me. Two of the places she regularly ordered from were literally down the street.  
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Mar 4, 2017 04:55
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:You left out the worst part to me. Two of the places she regularly ordered from were literally down the street. I really wanted to just quote the whole article. There's a ton of stuff in there that floored me.
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Mar 4, 2017 04:59
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I'm having flashbacks to the Companies Circling The Drain Thread(I think?), where food & grocery delivery came up and goons were acting like it was a herculian effort to go to the grocery store. Except in this case it's not goonish sloth, it's terrible work-life balance(and also goonish sloth): quote:Some might wonder how we could possibly forego soaking up the vibrant, fragrant atmosphere (and, as importantly, the assorted mezcal), but we don’t look at it that way: I’ve got stories to edit, and programs to watch, and a cat to love. My default position is “I’m not leaving my home.” More often than not, it’s not a matter of eating here vs. eating there; it’s a matter of eating here vs. not eating at all. This technology has allowed me to discover pieces of L.A. that the basic rhythms of my life might otherwise not.
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Mar 4, 2017 05:16
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monster on a stick posted:
Sounds like standard workaholic yuppie behaviour to me. Spending 12 hours a day at the office + constantly checking your e-mail in case you need to be called back in whenever doesn't allow a lot of time to do anything else. (Until you burn out, and get crushed by the debt you have accumulated).  , and increasingly  .Source: Australian with yuppie banker uncle, who constantly moves house and buys a new car every few months. Sic Semper Goon fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Mar 4, 2017 |
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Mar 4, 2017 05:22
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:How would they ever know that he masturbated 30 times in his car between 1999 and 2003 if he didn't tell them? He could have never mentioned it or lied. The might ask have you ever masturbated at work. Have you ever masturbated in public. In a box? With a fox? On a train? In the rain?
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Mar 4, 2017 05:22
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Facebook Aunt posted:The might ask have you ever masturbated at work. Have you ever masturbated in public. In a box? With a fox? On a train? In the rain? With a goat? On a boat? In a house? With a mouse? In a car? At a bar? With your spouse? With a louse? I will beat it with a goat! I will beat it on a boat! I will beat it in a house! I will beat it with a mouse! And in a box, and with a fox, and on a train, and in the rain, It feels so good so good you see! So I will beat it in a car! I will beat it at a bar! I will beat it with my spouse! I will beat it with a louse! I will beat it here and there! Say, I will beat it anywhere! I do so like to beat it, Fed You Said, I will beat it till it's red! Volmarias fucked around with this message at 06:31 on Mar 4, 2017 |
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Mar 4, 2017 06:25
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Sic Semper Goon posted:Sounds like standard workaholic yuppie behaviour to me. She sounds like the kind of person that needs to be removed from their hovel with a crane. Now I'm thinking of Benchwarmers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFr2mLg-aTI
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Mar 4, 2017 12:55
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Notice how in the Postmates article her husband places every order? She tries to tell us that it's "eat delivered food at home or don't eat all", but I can guarantee that if her husband didn't punch in the order for her, whatever mental illness she has will not let her place her order, and it will be "don't eat at all"-
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Mar 4, 2017 16:22
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If she doesn't place the order she can pretend she's not paying $100 for two sandwiches, chips, and two sodas.
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Mar 4, 2017 16:29
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22 Eargesplitten posted:If she doesn't place the order she can pretend she's not paying $100 for two sandwiches, chips, and two sodas. AND TWO MEATBALLS actually that confused me, are they meatball subs? are these orders for 4 sandwiches? peak DINK BWM behavior OBAMNA PHONE fucked around with this message at 16:46 on Mar 4, 2017 |
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Mar 4, 2017 16:44
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Volmarias posted:With a goat? On a boat? In a house? With a mouse? In a car? At a bar? With your spouse? With a louse? Hahahha this is awesome. I'm imagining the guy's interview was similar to Moe on the lie detector. Except Moe had enough dignity to ogle the Sears catalog in the privacy of home.
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Mar 4, 2017 18:17
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CannonFodder posted:I want to know more about free bottles of herb infused rum. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mama_Juana Rumored by Dominicans to give you sexual powers. In reality I never encountered any that didn't taste like cough medicine, and I never felt any more "potent." Basically put a bunch of sticks, bark, leaves, and honey in a bottle of rum and let it sit. Bad with alcohol, imo
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Mar 4, 2017 19:51
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A little bit of alcohol makes everybody better at fuckin'
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Mar 4, 2017 20:01
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BraveUlysses posted:AND TWO MEATBALLS They are probably large single meatballs. I've seen that at some restaurants I have physically entered and eaten at.
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Mar 4, 2017 20:11
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Hoooo boy, I can't get too specific but I found out today why film budgets are a top secret thing in Hollywood. One of my buddies is a production accountant at one of the big studios. Over lunch today he told me a director got away with billing the studio $300k for private pilates classes over a 8 month period for his wife. The auditor flagged it but for some reason it was OK'd by corporate anyway. In the end the studio took a loss on the movie.
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Mar 4, 2017 22:18
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Delivery Fuckwit's mantlepiece is stuffed with no less than 18 loving Funko Popo figures because OF COURSE IT loving IS. She's getting ripped apart in the comments, though, which is gratifying.
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Mar 4, 2017 23:26
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Breetai posted:Delivery Fuckwit's mantlepiece is stuffed with no less than 18 loving Funko Popo figures because OF COURSE IT loving IS. Are you taking about your cat? That's a pretty rude thing to say about your cat, to say nothing of blaming it for your problems.
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Mar 4, 2017 23:55
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Gorman Thomas posted:Hoooo boy, I can't get too specific but I found out today why film budgets are a top secret thing in Hollywood. One of my buddies is a production accountant at one of the big studios. Over lunch today he told me a director got away with billing the studio $300k for private pilates classes over a 8 month period for his wife. The auditor flagged it but for some reason it was OK'd by corporate anyway. In the end the studio took a loss on the movie. Woah, that's like private pilates "classes" that you don't want your wife to see you spending money on levels of money!
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Mar 5, 2017 00:01
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I'm sure I'm butchering this Interesting Fact, but isn't there some thing where movies can't be profitable? The cost has to inflate to be equal to the ticket sales?
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Mar 5, 2017 00:10
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Gorman Thomas posted:Hoooo boy, I can't get too specific but I found out today why film budgets are a top secret thing in Hollywood. One of my buddies is a production accountant at one of the big studios. Over lunch today he told me a director got away with billing the studio $300k for private pilates classes over a 8 month period for his wife. The auditor flagged it but for some reason it was OK'd by corporate anyway. In the end the studio took a loss on the movie. They probably felt bad for him after his wife left him for the Pilates instructor.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:18
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GoGoGadgetChris posted:I'm sure I'm butchering this Interesting Fact, but isn't there some thing where movies can't be profitable? The cost has to inflate to be equal to the ticket sales? You might be thinking of Hollywood Accounting, where the studio charges itself (or rather, "another" "subsidiary" business) for "marketing" or some other nebulously defined activity, so that they can claim that a wildly successful movie actually lost money.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:18
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Volmarias posted:You might be thinking of Hollywood Accounting, where the studio charges itself (or rather, "another" "subsidiary" business) for "marketing" or some other nebulously defined activity, so that they can claim that a wildly successful movie actually lost money. They do it this because a lot of compensation is related to how well the film performs, that way they don't have to pay people.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:30
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Volmarias posted:You might be thinking of Hollywood Accounting, where the studio charges itself (or rather, "another" "subsidiary" business) for "marketing" or some other nebulously defined activity, so that they can claim that a wildly successful movie actually lost money. I don't think any entertainment industry shows a real profit, but their executives and talent (some of them anyway) get paid ridiculous sums. I remember Apple was at one point looking at buying a record company, but the profit margins just weren't there. At least corporate America has to show a pretense of a profit to appease shareholders.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:45
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The reason that there was never a sequel to Forrest Gump, even though a book already exists, is because the author of Forrest Gump was supposed to get paid 3% of the movie's gross profits. The movie made $678 million (plus around $200 million in home sales), but on paper Forrest Gump lost money and the author got nothing. He was so mad that he refused to allow Paramount to make a sequel and Paramount had exclusive first option rights to the sequel as part of the original contract, so nobody else could buy it and it never got made.
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Mar 5, 2017 00:46
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If all movies are finagled into not making money, why does anyone agree to get a percentage as compensation? Did that guy just not bother to get a lawyer on his contract or something?
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Mar 5, 2017 01:04
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I wonder what's stopping people from getting contracts that go off "gross revenue" or "gross ticket sales" rather than "gross profits". I mean, I can see how the studios would sic their entire team of lawyers onto anyone who dared to ask for something like that, but you'd think there's some A-list actor or dozens-of-awards-winning author who has the clout to get a deal like that.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:17
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Weatherman posted:I wonder what's stopping people from getting contracts that go off "gross revenue" or "gross ticket sales" rather than "gross profits". I mean, I can see how the studios would sic their entire team of lawyers onto anyone who dared to ask for something like that, but you'd think there's some A-list actor or dozens-of-awards-winning author who has the clout to get a deal like that. Many do. Jack Nicholson most famously in Batman I believe. He made more money than the studio on some ridiculous claim.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:25
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Weatherman posted:I wonder what's stopping people from getting contracts that go off "gross revenue" or "gross ticket sales" rather than "gross profits". I mean, I can see how the studios would sic their entire team of lawyers onto anyone who dared to ask for something like that, but you'd think there's some A-list actor or dozens-of-awards-winning author who has the clout to get a deal like that. Most people who have power do now. J.K. Rowling got a % of gross ticket sales for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and made about $40 million from it. The movie technically "lost" $232 million according to Warner Brothers.
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Mar 5, 2017 01:30
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I think Alec Guiness also took a cut of gross ticket sales for Star Wars, instead of being paid a regular salary. Which was a good move, because he ended up with millions where a lot of the other actors had taken a flat salary of thousands.
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Mar 5, 2017 02:00
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He was probably the only person you could consider "famous" when Star Wars came out, too.
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Mar 5, 2017 02:02
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Weatherman posted:I wonder what's stopping people from getting contracts that go off "gross revenue" or "gross ticket sales" rather than "gross profits". I mean, I can see how the studios would sic their entire team of lawyers onto anyone who dared to ask for something like that, but you'd think there's some A-list actor or dozens-of-awards-winning author who has the clout to get a deal like that. Even better many of them have ownership in the production companies and are in on the scam
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Mar 5, 2017 02:15
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Ashcans posted:If all movies are finagled into not making money, why does anyone agree to get a percentage as compensation? Did that guy just not bother to get a lawyer on his contract or something? Ironically I think Tom Hanks did on Gump. So the guy who created the character got nada and Hanks walked away with 80 million. It all comes down to how good your lawyers are.
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Mar 5, 2017 02:23
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It's been a known thing for a long time, enough that even children's cartoons have lampooned it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHL91HQzhuc Animaniacs had a great bit too, but I can't find it. Something like "the net is what they scoop you up with when you see what the gross was"
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Mar 5, 2017 02:25
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Volmarias posted:You might be thinking of Hollywood Accounting, where the studio charges itself (or rather, "another" "subsidiary" business) for "marketing" or some other nebulously defined activity, so that they can claim that a wildly successful movie actually lost money. Yeah, the entire purpose of a studio is to suck the profit out of the movie itself and transfer it up the chain.
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Mar 5, 2017 04:12
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:The reason that there was never a sequel to Forrest Gump, even though a book already exists, is because the author of Forrest Gump was supposed to get paid 3% of the movie's gross profits. It was net income that hosed him over, not gross. The adage for Hollywood contracts is *never* agree to a slice of "net" anything. That's where Hollywood accounting will gently caress you over. You always want a slice of "gross" revenue or a straight up fee. If you're a top tier A lister, you can probably get a piece of ticket sales and merch too.
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Mar 5, 2017 04:23
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The avarice of Hollywood is deeply disgusting to me.
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Mar 5, 2017 12:14
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BloodBag posted:The avarice of Hollywood is deeply disgusting to me. DUde go back far enough and that's the root cause of like 95% of this thread's content 
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