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Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

They could call interference.

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Rotten Cookies
Nov 11, 2008

gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

6 OR 12 YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE. Anything else is impossible!

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


nhl penalty quotas, right.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Rotten Cookies posted:

6 OR 12 YOU MUST CHOOSE ONE. Anything else is impossible!

Comedy third option: a bakers dozen instead of a regular or half

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Penalty lengths will be issued via dice roll

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

shyduck posted:

Would there still be offsides via the red line or is it just anything goes, park a guy at the opposing net at all times?

No blue lines, no offsides. Keep icing, frozen changes, and don't allow timeouts. You got too frisky throwing fast forwards at the net for breakouts? Too loving bad.

I don't like bigger nets or smaller pads because they aren't the issue in 2017. You have to make it harder for defenders covering the net to block. Since NHL owners won't want to make rinks bigger because that means less seats, eliminate the blue line standup & collapse play.

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

Yeah, the penalty one is the biggest thing. The NHL made a conscious choice to stop calling things too. They dropped a full PPO per game between 05/06 and 06/07 and then another full PPO over the next three years. We're once again in the lowest called season of all time.

It's a really simple answer to increase scoring too. League average powerplay percentage is currently better than it was just after the lockout (18.85% vs 17.68%) so they'd only have to bump it up to the level it was between 06/07 and 08/09 to get a similar increase in scoring.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Or don't allow skaters to wear shin guards anymore.

glynnenstein
Feb 18, 2014


My only real problem with the old "New Standard of Officiating" is the hooking penalties they called. If they returned to that standard of officiating for all other penalties but didn't call every single horizontal stick within a foot of a player a hook, I think it would benefit the game tremendously.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


xzzy posted:

Or don't allow skaters to wear shin guards anymore.

Somewhere Torts shudders and he doesn't know why

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


im fine with calling more but post-lockout was dumb. whoever disagrees is dumb.

also if nothing changed im fine with hockey the way it is. the obsession with increasing scoring is also dumb.

Mind_Taker
May 7, 2007



Make it so that the goalie doesn't have a glove, but rather two blocker pads.

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Gio posted:

also if nothing changed im fine with hockey the way it is. the obsession with increasing scoring is also dumb.

This is the correct answer imo

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Also powerups. Hockey needs rocket league style boost collection points.

Rotten Cookies
Nov 11, 2008

gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

I don't give a gently caress about scoring, really. I just have this idea that if penalties were called consistently, players might tend to refrain from those penalized actions. In the case of the interference, if defenders didn't piggyback on every dump in, you might get some more exciting plays when players rush in and dump the puck to the corner.

I don't care about more penalties, I care about more skillful, exciting hockey.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Mind_Taker posted:

Make it so that the goalie doesn't have a glove, but rather two blocker pads.

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Consistent penalty calling will never happen as long as a ref doesn't want to completely kill a game with special teams. When they did, post lockout, it was terrible.

D C
Jun 20, 2004

1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING
1-800-HOTLINEBLING

xzzy posted:

Also powerups. Hockey needs rocket league style boost collection points.

Every 5 minutes of play time without a goal scored another puck drops out of the scoreboard for bonus double and triple puck action. The 3rd puck is bright red and worth a hattrick if it is put into the net.

Spring Break My Heart
Feb 15, 2012

ThinkTank posted:

The NHLPA only pays lip service to the fact that goalies could get hurt with reduced equipment. Look at anything they wore prior to 1995, it was nothing compared to the michelin man suits they strap on today and it's not like there was an epidemic of broken ribs and shattered kneecaps among the netminders of yesteryear.

Goaltenders have spent the last twenty years building themselves up as the most integral part of a hockey team. If the NHLPA were to allow greatly reduced equipment size they'd be dramatically reducing the effectiveness of a good portion of their members. No team is going to keep paying a premium for goalies if the average SV% drops markedly overnight, and the NHLPA would have a revolt from (at least) 10% of their paid members.

The NHLPA has focused on propping up the pay and notoriety of its defensive players and goaltenders since the late 90s. They can hardly back pedal now.
We're at the point right now where goalies are pretty replaceable; the trade value of a starter calibre goalie is pretty low, the value of a goalie prospect even lower, and I would think they're a fair bit back on salary but I wouldn't be sure. I would hope no one buys goaltenders as the most integral part of a hockey team because that doesn't really bare out. And anyways, it's not like a leaguewide drop in save percentage would hurt goaltender salaries if there were still an appropriate separation between the best and the worst, which could just as easily go up with smaller equipment. I think a big problem for the perceived value of goalies now is you there are a lot of guys you can pick up off the scrap heap who perform pretty well.

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

Gio posted:

im fine with calling more but post-lockout was dumb. whoever disagrees is dumb.

also if nothing changed im fine with hockey the way it is. the obsession with increasing scoring is dumb.

Sure, the NEW NHL officiating got annoying, but surely there's a happy medium between "call everything" and "call nothing?"

As for increasing scoring, what's the harm? Every other major sports league has realized that people like offence way more than the defensive side of things and have actively worked to promote it. The last few seasons have seen more touchdowns per game in the NFL in any era since the 60s. The NBA is consistently averaging over 100pts per game for the first time since Jordan was at his height. At the same time, both sports are seeing an unparalleled surge in popularity. It's not like it's being driven by big markets either. The best teams in Basketball are from Cleveland and San Francisco right now. They just score a bunch and people like that.

Why wouldn't you increase offence? There's literally no downside that I can see.

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Spring Break My Heart posted:

We're at the point right now where goalies are pretty replaceable; the trade value of a starter calibre goalie is pretty low, the value of a goalie prospect even lower, and I would think they're a fair bit back on salary but I wouldn't be sure. I would hope no one buys goaltenders as the most integral part of a hockey team because that doesn't really bare out. And anyways, it's not like a leaguewide drop in save percentage would hurt goaltender salaries if there were still an appropriate separation between the best and the worst, which could just as easily go up with smaller equipment. I think a big problem for the perceived value of goalies now is you there are a lot of guys you can pick up off the scrap heap who perform pretty well.

Dubie was cheap because of idiocy and Bishop was cheap because of the expansion draft. Above average goalies are still drat pricey.

ThinkTank
Oct 23, 2007

Spring Break My Heart posted:

We're at the point right now where goalies are pretty replaceable; the trade value of a starter calibre goalie is pretty low, the value of a goalie prospect even lower, and I would think they're a fair bit back on salary but I wouldn't be sure.

An average starting goaltender will cost you around $6M. They're usually in the top 3 or 4 highest paid players on a team.

HappyHippo
Nov 19, 2003
Do you have an Air Miles Card?
I find NBA scoring is so frequent that it's not as fun, but maybe that's just me. I think there's a sweet spot between soccer levels and basketball levels where scores are dramatic enough to be worth a celebration but happen frequently enough that you don't get bored waiting for something to happen.

Anyway my zany idea is to make powerplays 90 seconds but call icing on the defense. I think it would make powerplays more fun to watch, and would probably result in more goals.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


High scoring competitive games, yes, but no one wants to watch a blow out except the winning team's fans.

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


ThinkTank posted:

Sure, the NEW NHL officiating got annoying, but surely there's a happy medium between "call everything" and "call nothing?"

As for increasing scoring, what's the harm? Every other major sports league has realized that people like offence way more than the defensive side of things and have actively worked to promote it. The last few seasons have seen more touchdowns per game in the NFL in any era since the 60s. The NBA is consistently averaging over 100pts per game for the first time since Jordan was at his height. At the same time, both sports are seeing an unparalleled surge in popularity. It's not like it's being driven by big markets either. The best teams in Basketball are from Cleveland and San Francisco right now. They just score a bunch and people like that.

Why wouldn't you increase offence? There's literally no downside that I can see.

more goals/points doesnt automatically translate to more excitement. (baseball I will make an exception for because gently caress is that a boring game.) it's more the anticipation and suspense that one is about to happen that's exciting. i mean yeah you dont want scoring super suppresed which is why im fine with calling more interference penalties, but some of the best games i can recall have been low scoring games.

Jordan7hm
Feb 17, 2011




Lipstick Apathy
Part of the reason they stopped calling interference is because 200+ lb men were flying into the D zone and threatening serious damage. Interference limits that. I don't know if there's a solution to that piece.

I also don't want scoring increased via more stoppages. Stoppages are crap.

I like the idea of removing offsides and just letting guys roam. It's a dramatic change but so was removing the red line, so was changing to touch up offsides.

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
Setting aside any discussion of effectiveness, goalies used to be a hell of a lot more entertaining than they are now. Today it is just square up to the shooter and butterfly and let it bounce off of your massively oversize chest armor. Goalies used to make saves and poo poo , or alternatively whiff entirely and fall down on their butts. Either way it was awesome

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe
Also higher scoring games are more entertaining and anyone who says differently is pretentious or lying to themselves or both

Mike_V
Jul 31, 2004

3/18/2023: Day of the Dorks
I've always liked the idea of removing the blue lines and negating offsides, but is there any reason to think it would actually increase scoring for the team rolling the cherry picker? Teams could do it now and park a guy just outside the blue line but don't do it.

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


bewbies posted:

Also higher scoring games are more entertaining and anyone who says differently is pretentious or lying to themselves or both

not all of us grew up in the 80s old man

Mind_Taker
May 7, 2007



Eliminating offsides wouldn't just allow for cherry picking, it would allow for more creative transition plays and odd-man rushes.

Also it would eliminate offside reviews by definition.

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


case in point: this was one of the best games i've seen in recent memory.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

"SHUTOUT THE DEVIL"

NHL's pun department channeling the Crue for their NJD/CBJ recap, I see.

Flocons de Jambon
Apr 11, 2015
They should go back to full power plays instead of ending them after a goal. That's my hot take for increasing scoring.

DOOMocrat
Oct 2, 2003

Flocons de Jambon posted:

They should go back to full power plays instead of ending them after a goal. That's my hot take for increasing scoring.

I don't want to see 3rd vs. 3rd every 5v5 draw either, which is what would happen here.

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

I dont want to see bigger nets because skating fast and slinging the puck around is good and scoring a cheap right off the faceoff is boring

I'd like to see two line passes brought back because I think dumping and chasing leads to boring hockey, and the only GM suggestion I read that I liked was moving the faceoff dots to just a single one in the center of the zone because I think that would lead to less grinding along the sides

Levitate
Sep 30, 2005

randy newman voice

YOU'VE GOT A LAFRENIÈRE IN ME
NHL GM's and owners are the worst and have no idea abou twhat's best for the game

Gio
Jun 20, 2005


if you outlaw bigger pads, only outlaws will have bigger pads

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010
An idea I've had for a while: Gave up a shorty? Say goodbye to your powerplay.

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Zodijackylite
Oct 18, 2005

hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...
Fast hockey games are the best. There's nothing better than nonstop action, teams going end-to-end, trading chances, and having long stretches of play without stoppage. Hockey is especially better in recent years as goons and grinders have been replaced by guys who used to be "2nd line or bust" - the disposable fourth line is no more, the old "defensive" third line is now the fourth, and teams roll a third line more in line with their top two.

What is bad about hockey are stoppages that interrupt fast play. Offsides reviews that rewind the game on a technicality are terrible. Scrums after big clean hits are also dumb, and it is much better when they're responded to in play and ramp up the intensity of games. Scrums around the net after the goalie covers up in traffic almost up the intensity of the stoppage, but fighting after hip checks is dumb.

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