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Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017

As a Washington native, I love seeing the towns of Poulsbo and Bremerton in this game, as they are both minor towns in the area.

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berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Peachfart posted:

As a Washington native, I love seeing the towns of Poulsbo and Bremerton in this game, as they are both minor towns in the area.

It's been mentioned before, but this game draws a lot of names from Washington state and people Jeff Vogel knows. So more names added to that list!

Epsilon Moonshade
Nov 22, 2016

Not an excellent host.

As a Washington transplant, it mostly makes me chuckle. Like, "hey, I've heard of these places..."

It's kinda neat though, like realizing Phil Foglio is from Everett (I think?) after seeing his art all over the drat place - including the Avernum games. I moved somewhere cool! :v:

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
Update 50 – Appleton, Spineridge and Mernia



“So, where are we going?”

“If I have my maps correct, we should be north of the Giants, and still west of the long mountain range that separated them from the coast. I intend to do a quick sweep through the area, find Appleton if possible, then head north.”

“Golems or Alien Beasts?”

“Golems, as she has already said.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I'm on a horse!”



“So, what is this?”



“Yes.”



“Uh?”



“What just happened?”



“Hold on, something is over that way.”



“Oh, there they are.”



If you think this fight is a challenge for the party, you've skipped the last 20-30 updates.



Especially with the allies. But, this does give me my first real chance to cast a certain spell! You all know it, you all love it, and it's been in the game since Exile 1!



Major Blessing!


“Well, that was quicker than usual.”



“Thanks!”




“Now we just need to find our way out. Joy.”

“That's my line!”



“You guys make it sound harder than it actually was.”

“I was told tales that such creatures were fickle and not to be trusted. But this is at least the fourth time we've encountered them in the past three months, and they have yet to live down to my expectations.”

“That's a lot of words!”

“To be fair, most of the other people in those stories are jerks, and the Dryads are responding in kind.”

“But we're the HEROES!”

“What he said.”




“Another town? How many are, or were up here?”



“Well, maybe we can ask them.”

“Hail!”



“On one hand, we're fighting the Empire. Which is natural. On the other hand, we've been working very hard to earn nice points with them, so what gives?”



“Can't we talk this out?”

“NO!”

“Well, I tried.”

So, what's going on? Well, we've been avoiding encounters with Empire troops for some time now simply because we've been helping. Except as we go north from Lorelei up towards Gale and Blackcrag, that stops being the case. It's about a 50/50 chance that the Empire patrols up in the north-east quadrant of Valorim will be hostile or not.

And in this case, they were hostile.




“WHAT THE HELL?”

“Perhaps they had not heard of our deeds?”

“Or they were mean!”

“I'm going to side with Sass on this.”

“As am I.”

“Me as well.”

“Look, irregardless”
“Not a word.”

“Totally is. But let's just go north for now, and we can leave this ... statistical anomaly behind.”




:science:

:catholic:



“What? I still use that spell. On occasion.”

“Still, that looks like a lot of giants. How do we handle this?”

“Charge?”

“Makes sense. Start a fight in the town square, let them come to us. We start to get overwhelmed and we can fall back to the horses.”

“I approve.”



“You know, I like this plan.”

“Except for the part where the giants with ranged abilities don't come to us.”



“Or they hide in buildings.”



“More!”

I will never get tired of seeing Bronwyn with all the bonus damage from the Flaming Sword and Assassination stacking like that. Too bad Art's never been the one to go for that skill.



“Someone summoned Gremlins?”



“Apparently. Also, why are they all throwing the rocks at me?”



I love having access to Level 7 spells again!



“Are we still collecting Unicorn Horns?”

“We can check up on those later.”



“And thus, everything else died.”



“Nothing here.”



“Or here.”




“Check again.”



“OW!”

:black101:



“We had best be careful.”



“No! The precious Tavern!”




“No, it was the barracks, actually.”



“This building looks relatively intact.”




“So noted. Though 'Tiny Mountain' doesn't help us.”

“There was one other intact building in town – on the south side by where we came in.”




“...”

“No. Not feeling bad about this at all.”



“Well, at least going north is easy enough.



“Here we go!”

“...”

“There's nothing here.”

“Well, we were supposed to keep going north anyways, so maybe it's a different one?”

“I doubt it.”



:barf:

:catholic:

“Wait a minute...”



“No one say a thing.”



“Back south of Appleton, and this time to the East!”



“And right off the road and into a Mountain.”

“Oh, hush you.”


* * *

* * *

* * *



“What is this?”

For those of you who are lost (like me), we are just north of the road leading east from Appleton, and headed to Spineridge. I was just taking a circuitous route to get there due to wanting to fill out my map. Yes, I could cheat in the overworld map at this point, but seeing blank spots tells me to go places to find things.



“Can't be worse than the ones around Golddale, could it?”

“Speaking of, doesn't the mayor from there want us to steal a book or something?”

“Yeah! From the nice guy who lets us use his portals!”



“Curious. Although it does appear to be a controlled demolition.”

“Let's keep looking around.”



“huh.”





“CHARGE!”




“You know, I was expecting something smaller.”

“Scrying the Monster!”




And here is the first Golem-class enemies we encounter. Golems are technically not as powerful as the Alien Beasts, but as a person who has beaten this game a few times, I dread dealing with them more then I do with the Alien Beasts.

Yet the worst part is the final dungeon for the Golems. So much so, that it can be regarded as the single hardest dungeon in the entire Exile series, bar none. You'll see why when I get there.





On the other side of the coin, they all drop Golem Gems, which can be sold for cash. When I remember to. I think I'll actually keep them to simply count how many Golems I destroy before taking out their source.



“While tempting to report back to Anaximander at this point, we should keep going north.”

“Depends on what that sign says. We may have to go further east or west first.”



“Of course, we should have known that Spineridge was here.”



“Time for a visit, I think.”



:barf:
:catholic:

SERIOUSLY? Apparently the move to enter town caused a Disease roll for Matthias, and he caught it. Except it doesn't show up on the log as the message about entering town was given priority!



“Doesn't look like much of a town.”

“One does look like it has books.”

“We can go there first then.”




“I guess it's official then. We're in Monoroe Province.”



“Ma'am.”

You meet one of the Empire's seemingly endless supply of bureaucrats. She has the haggard look that comes with long periods of much work and no sleep. “Oh. It's you.” She shuffles idly through a thick stack of papers. “I am Alzon. You must be Art, Matthias, Blodwyn, Ni'aurrl, Delilah and Sasserithrasix.”

“Bronwyn actually. It's a common mistake. Sloppy handwriting.”

“Fair enough. Gods above know I have encountered enough spelling errors in my time. I am in charge of supply for large parts of Monoroe Province's internal structure. In addition, I am the Jobs dispatcher. If you would like some courier work, let me know.”

“There is nothing wrong with being in charge of supply.”

“You would say that. It seems there is nothing we are not short of these days. If you have any goods you could sell us, it would be a great help.”

“Well, no sense in keeping things we aren't going to use.”



Normally, I would skip this. But this is one of the few time – I think the only time really, where using the “Sell” command actually brings up legitimate dialogue, rather than a generic message about appraising or something like that.

“What Courier jobs are available anyways?”



“Nothing interesting.”

“Or viable.”

“So if I wanted to ask about politics?”

“I would say to check in with our esteemed leaders in Gale. And nothing more.”

“Tavern time!”



This man's robes are stained from heavy travelling, and his pack seems about to burst open from all the scrolls and books in it. “Greetings! I am Vairlas, the sage.”

“Well met.”

“If you are looking for my services, I must say that I can only provide a few for now. Most unfortunate.”

“Why is that unfortunate?”

“My wife, Malka, and I are on the road now, trying to escape the golems.”

“Hello.”

“We have met some golems ourselves to the north, by the mines.”

He suddenly looks interested. “You wish to know of the Golems? I was studying them intensely before we fled. You can purchase all I know of them, for only 50 gold.”

“Might as well. We'll recover that pretty soon.”

“That's 50 gold less my access to the Moon Library, thank you.”

He takes your gold. “Thank you. This will be a great help on the road. Now, let's see. Golems. Golems are magically animated statues, very strong and resilient to damage. Gale is currently under constant attack by large groups of them.”

“I have some questions regarding these gems of theirs...”

“Eh, boring discussion. Hello there!”

The innkeeper is incredibly busy. He's cooking the next meal, serving drinks, and keeping everything clean, and he almost seems to be doing it all simultaneously. “I'm McClain.”

“Sass!”

“Sorry, but the inn is completely full. People leaving the province and heading south you know. Keeps me busy. I do have a bunk you can rent. Only two gold. I also have rations. Popular items, those.”



“Eh....”

“They really that popular?”

“Everyone's fleeing Gale and stopping here. Can you blame them?”

“Not really. No.” :(

“Come on everyone, time to leave.”




“Giants, or Golems?”

“Giants. Then the Golems killed them over yonder.”

* * *
It's been three days, so I'm going back to Hawke's Manse for the next event.



“Any particular reason why we're back here?”



“MY HOUSE!”

“Right until Anaximander gets people chosen to represent us here.”




“You'd think that having a ghost present would present more problems than trying to get food done?”

“Well, let's check it out.”



“Actual Ghost!”

You see a translucent man, middle aged, standing by the pond. He's staring into the water. He doesn't look at you.

“Hello?”

You get no response.

“Hawke?”

Suddenly, the ghost gets smashed to the ground, as if struck by something from overhead. The spectral body lies there for a moment. Then, in an instant, the ghost is standing again. Then it gets smashed again. And so on.

“Well, there nothing we can do here. I'm not a professional exorcist.”

“Where would we even get one anyway?”

“...”

“I dunno. Never had to deal with a non-hostile spirit like this before. Usually it's either resolve their lingering sentiments, or hit them with Dispel Spirit until they're reduced to ectoplasm.”

* * *



“Oooh! We're on the east coast!”

“Except for that land mass on the horizon.”

“We'll go north from here. Gale's supposed to be on the coast, and from there we can get more information.”



“This does not look like Gale.”




“It's quiet.”

“Too quiet.”

“REALLY?”

“Well, it was something to relieve the tension in the air.”




“At least they were polite about it.”




“Come on. We should be able to find someone who can answer questions.”



“CHARGE!”



“What is that?”



“Dangerous.”

“And that is too!”



And here we meet variants #3 and #4 of the Golems. There are five versions in all. The Blade Golem is the brute attacker of the bunch while the Jeweled has Acid Spit. I haven't had to deal with Acid seriously since the Slimes, but now it's back and with a passion.

One short fight later, with the help of some guards...



“Well, at least it took us to this obviously important building.”



“snrk”



“Hey. You alright in here?”

You meet a merchant, resplendent in velvet robes and silver jewellery. However, he has a wasted, haggard look and traces of something green crusted on the corner of his mouth. “I am Corin,” he says in a slurred voice

“Cure Poison!” :catholic:
“Cure Disease!” :catholic:

Suddenly, he becomes very cheery and energetic. The transformation is eerie in its speed. His voice is slurred, however. "I run the Mernia lumberyard!"

Sometimes, things just fall into place.

“!!!”

“The lumberyard?”

He laughs. “Of course! The Empire has quarantined all of Valorim, so our wood sits here, worthless except as termite food! But what does it matter? Everything else is so interesting!”

:geno: “You don't say.”

He giggles. “Why, when seen from a distance, a golem's fireball is a beautiful thing! And their bolts of ice leave wondrous, elegant tracings through the air!” One side of his face twitches slightly. “And if everything falls apart, we can go to the Isle of Maddok.”

“Oh, is that the Isle we see on the horizon?”

“Just across the water to the east. Covered with all sorts of undead. Isn't that just ducky?”



Some of you may be wondering what the heck is going on with this NPC. Well, let me explain it for you. He's addicted to Skribbane. Quite badly too. The crop grown on the Isle of Bigail, and that we've been asked to smuggle into Lorelei. It's endemic here in Monoroe Province. When we get to Gale, you'll see.



“That's a lot of wood.”




“Really. A lot.”

“And that's enough for this town. We should head north now.”



“Like so.”

“HORSE TIME!”

berryjon fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Mar 10, 2017

Mr VacBob
Aug 27, 2003
Was yea ra chs hymmnos mea
Glad we're reaching the part of the game that was too hard for me to beat at 10. So I just downloaded a save off AOL that was right before the last move to win the game - good enough for me.

(Btw, showed the thread to Nakar but it seems his muse isn't around at the moment.)

Mr VacBob fucked around with this message at 10:35 on Mar 6, 2017

Epsilon Moonshade
Nov 22, 2016

Not an excellent host.

berryjon posted:

:barf:

:catholic:

“Wait a minute...”

I hate this lovely hotel internet connection. The :barf: emoticon has failed to show up for me twice in a row, but it's obviously there because it's in the quoted post. :argh:

Making me think I have an edit to suggest when I really don't.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Really I would have expected this kind of madness from a man caught between a rock and a bone place.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Glazius posted:

Really I would have expected this kind of madness from a man caught between a rock and a bone place.

We've seen your typical crazies before. And those driven mad by knowledge man was not meant to know. This guy's on the verge of a lethal OD.

vdate
Oct 25, 2010

berryjon posted:

We've seen your typical crazies before. And those driven mad by knowledge man was not meant to know. This guy's on the verge of a lethal OD.

Probably beats death by golem or undead!

Zagglezig
Oct 16, 2012
Maybe, but if he runs out, that's gonna be rough. If that's what the drug does, then withdrawal probably isn't gonna be fun, much less while you're fending off attacks from relentless beings trying to kill you.


berryjon posted:

one of the Empure's seemingly endless supply

In additions, I am the Jobs dispatcher.

Well, so sense in keeping things we aren't going to use.

Wasn't sure if the "s" on the second was on purpose or not.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Zagglezig posted:

Maybe, but if he runs out, that's gonna be rough. If that's what the drug does, then withdrawal probably isn't gonna be fun, much less while you're fending off attacks from relentless beings trying to kill you.

I fixed the edits. Thanks.

Also, and I don't consider this much of a spoiler, you can get addicted to Skribbane as well. Though the game doesn't model the real bad stuff, naturally.

Parts Kit
Jun 9, 2006

durr
i have a hole in my head
durr
Jeweled Golems aren't just a pain in the rear end because of their acid spit but on top of that they have a "breath" attack that can do almost triple digit magic damage.

And of course if you run into multiple you can have the person you just desperately healed from the breath attack killed by the acid damage or vice versa. Assholes.

LuffyVeggies
Mar 11, 2016
I was about to say that, in Appleton, the message about "Tiny Mountain" was referring to one in the town itself, but then I saw the map and saw that there was none.

I DO remember finding the "Tiny Mountain" they were talking about at one point, but I forget where it is. All I remember is that it IS tiny - it's like one-to-four impassible squares big at most, possible even less than that. And it IS a square shape.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

LuffyVeggies posted:

I DO remember finding the "Tiny Mountain" they were talking about at one point, but I forget where it is. All I remember is that it IS tiny - it's like one-to-four impassible squares big at most, possible even less than that. And it IS a square shape.

Thanks for the info. To be honest though, this game is so huge, I'm bound to miss things. And I suspect this will be one of them.

I mean, Exile was 43 parts. Exile 2 was 60. I've just finished #50 for E3, and I'm about 2/3 the way through the plot. I do intend to get all the optional super-equipment and hit every dungeon and town in the game though.

It's just that the north half of Valorim is a lot sparser in terms of content. So while I can take care of the plot relatively easy, it's the rest of the wide-open regions that require more extensive survey for the details. And that takes more time.

I also started a full-time-ish job this week, so I need to see how that falls into place before rambling out the next update - which should cover the town of Gale directly.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
Update 51 – Gale



“Well, at least it's not that far.”

“Looking across the water, I see the coast turns east.”

“You know, it's odd. I would have expected more cities and towns to be on rivers or other bodies of water, but the more I think of it, that's not the case.”

“But you have to accept that towns also grow up around resources, or trade and transit routes.”

“But how do those routes get set up in the first place?”

“You would find such paths are formed by nature first, either through geography or by the animals who migrate.”

“Oh hey, a distraction!”



“CHAARGE!”





“Wow, every last member of the army in Valorim is going to be under suspicion for years after all is said and done, what with the breakdown in order.”



“Thank you! Thank you!”

“No problem. Head south to Lorelei. It's safe there now.”



“Still miles to go. And a nice place to ambush people at.”



“Ugh, this section looks like it's blown up.”



“And more. The damage to the logistics is immense.”



“Please don't let this be another hostile encounter.”

It was. :sigh:



“So. Gale.”

“More than any other city so far, this one looks like a fortress.”

“Can you blame them? It's like everything for miles is a battlefield.”



“I wonder if those two towns still exist.”

“Well, that's all an academic exercise as we're here now.”



“Hey! Open the gates! We're friendly!”



“...”

“...”

“...”

“Why is everyone so quiet?”



“Perhaps there is a smaller entrance to one side? A ... what is the word...?”

“I don't know.”



“It's called a 'sally port'.”




“What. The. Heck?”

“How can we get in?”

“Hey!”



“Afternoon.”

You find a small, wiry man standing and waiting outside the city walls. You only notice him when you get close to him – it's like he has some sort of weak concealment spell. “I am Pasi. There is no need to introduce yourselves.”

“And what do you do here, perchance?”

“Well, these days, it's difficult to enter Gale. I give assistance in doing so to those in need.”

“Why is it that Gale is locked up?”

“It is a most difficult place to live these days, to say the least.”

“You haven't answered my question.”

“You're right. I didn't. My apologies. You see, the leadership in Gale is currently, shall we say, less than inspiring.” He looks you over carefully. “That is why I will give you, entirely free of charge, a warning.”

“We're listening.”

“Word of the arrival of the Exiles has spread far, and many in Valorim welcome the news in the absence of help from the Empire. Mayor Ralia and Garrison Commander Leona do not. Not at all. Watch your step around city hall. If they notice you, your fate will be grim.”

“Then how do we enter Gale?”

Pasi thinks. “I hear a lot of what goes on. I heard about what you've accomplished in the south. I'll take the risk of letting you in, though if the Mayor finds out I helped Exiles, I'll be in mortal danger.” He points to the nearby trees, “The passage in is through there. Be wary around City Hall. Good luck to you.”

If we haven't resolved any previous Monster plagues by the time we got here (which is still quite possible), Pasi wouldn't let us in, blocking us out.



“Aww, we have to leave our horsies outside.”

“They won't fit. Don't worry. You're not the only ones whose steed I have protected.”



“I will go first.”



“A store room. Where?” :science:



“Just under the walls. Very short. Recently dug too.”



ffffff........

A woman with a blank face is sitting at the table. She isn't drinking or eating or talking with anyone. She just sits at an empty table. Waiting.

“Hello?”

“I am Alba.”

“And what are you doing here? This is a tavern, am I right?”

“Just waiting.”

“For what?”

“You don't know what for? Then I have nothing to speak to you about.”

I know what she's here for, and we can't trigger it as I've avoided that particular quest for a while now. I'll address it after we deal with the Golems as part of the general cleanup leading into the end-game.

The innkeeper gives you a knowing wink when you approach the bar. She seems to know how you entered Gale, and how illegal your presence here is. “I'm Langley. How may I help you?”

“Hello there! I'm Delilah. So nice to have nice conversations. What do you offer?”

“Well, I would be honoured if you would stay in one of our luxury rooms. Only 20 gold for such, well, intriguing guests. In addition, for such as yourselves, we have a variety of unusual services.”

“What possible services could you offer that would be considered unusual?”

She points at a woman sitting in the corner. “If you're here for medicine, she will help you out. Very reasonable prices. If you're selling goods you have have obtained somehow, I pay excellent rates.”

“Uh... Medicine?”



“Have a nice day!”




“This is... not good.”





“Everyone, stick together.”


“You!”


Frak! Don't talk to random townspeople, they'll demand a bribe to stop the guards from going hostile on you.



:ssj:



“Double gates. No way out.”

“Or in.”



“Hello!” A beggar runs up to you, drops nimbly to his knees and raises his bowl. His fingers have light green stains and his eyes are glazed over.

“Ah.. Hello? You are?”

“Thank you for being so kind as to ask. I am Gelahd, kind adventurers.”
“I've heard of you. You are great and bold. It is an incredible honour to meet you. And, if you would be so kind as to give me some gold, maybe I can aid you.”

“Why not. We're still above Matthias' registration fees.”

He takes 10 of your gold. “Thank you so much. And for 100 gold more, I can tell you something very interesting about the golems.”

“This had better be worth it.”

He take the money gratefully. “In the herb house, there's a mage. She's always there, always not quite away. She mumbles. And sometimes she mumbles about golems! Prod her about it, and you might find something good!”




“Huh. Another inn.”



“Hello there.”

The innkeeper here wears a hefty greatsword at his belt, and seems prepared to leap over the bar and break up a fight or fight a Golem at any moment. He has a variety of scars. “I'm Cole, the innkeeper here.”

“So, what's on the tap?”

“Bourbon is 8 gold for a round. A room for the night is five. And don't bug the customers. We keep to ourselves here. Remember that.”

“Hit me the drink.”

The drink is neither strong nor good. As you choke it down, Cole says “By the way, you should be careful in Gale.”

Careful about what?”

“Mayor Rali is losing it. Sealed off the city. Talking about the golems is asking for trouble. He's jealous of anyone who can fight them and resents anyone talking about them because it points out how little good hes done against them. You're lucky. Wouldn't tell this to just anyone.”

“Lovely. So, who is anyone?”

“Everyone who comes through that door has another story about what the Exiles are doing to fight the monsters. Now, if you ask me, if I did happen to see some Exiles, just speaking hypothetically here, then I would hypothetically tell them that the person they need to talk to is the General.”

“Hypothetically speaking, of course, who is the General?”

“Go up to Tevrono. You'll see who I mean. Hypothetically.”

“Hello there, cousin.”

You meet a Nephilim male. He wears an earring and has a sword hanging from his belt. He watches you nervously as you approach. “I am Mrrurr.” He looks around, alert and on edge.

“Ni'aurrl. What do you do in Gale?”

“I am a sailor, stranded in this town.”

Stranded? That is not a good fate for any sailor.”

“This is a bad, bad place for one of our kind to be.”

Bad? How?”

He looks around again. “The leaders here are filled with hate. Our kind are suspected of being in alliance with the Exiles, and it spills over. I wish to leave on the next ship, for my skiff is no good to get away.”

“You have a boat? A skiff?”

He shakes his head and makes a hissing noise. “It was good for nothing. The leaking thing could only get to the island to the south.”

“You could still get to Merina if you stuck to the coast.”

“No, the shoals are too much for that piece of junk.”

“What about the island then?”

“That place is useless to me! The island is overrun by the undead, and may well always be. I wish to get rid of the worthless boat, if possible.”

“What would you want for the worthless boat? As one Nephilim to another?”

“For you?” His ears perk up. “I would let you purchase the skiff for only 100 gold. If you were odd enough to want to see the undead island, that is.”

“Done and done.”

He takes your gold gratefully. “The skiff is at the end of the central dock. Thank you very much.”

There's nothing much we can do with the boat right now, as I haven't triggered the optional sidequest dealing with the island to the south. This is just me getting it out of the way now, rather than coming back for it later. Well, I will be coming back later. After I've triggered the quest.

]

“Another!”

You find the most pathetic, bedraggled Nephilim you've ever seen. Her hair is scraggly and missing in patches. One of her fangs is broken off. She holds a begging bowl. It's a horrible sight.

“What happened, sister?”

She walks over to you on her knees. “I am Hssr, sister.”

“What happened?”

She emits a raspy purr. “Oh please, great ones. Give me a few coins.”

“We are still over the budget.”



Nothing done here, save perhaps for feeling good.




“These people probably have a good business running.”

The Shopkeeper has unique dialogue, but says nothing. And his inventory is hilariously out of date, even without accounting for the three Magic Plate's I've bought or found.



“One guess here.”



You find a vacant, bleary-eyed man, holding sway over a dusty and disused forge. When you enter, he makes a clumsy effort to look professional. “I am weaponmaster Asp,” he mumbles. “You can purchase from my stock, and I do improvements,” he mumbles. A tiny bit of drool forms at the corner of his mouth.

“What sort of improvements?”

He grabs a hammer and gives it a few practice swings. You can see that not all of the skill has drained out of him. “I've lost a bit lately, but I can still make a blade sharp enough to cut steel. If you want something augmented, let me know.”



No clue what he does. But 7500 to improve a Steel Waveblade tells me it's not all that powerful.






“Hello there!”

You meet a middle aged priest. He's a massive man, moving comfortably in his armor with a great mace hanging from his belt. However, it's plain to see weariness is eating away at him, bit by bit. “Greetings. I am simply called Zachariah. Welcome to my sanctuary.”

“I am Delilah, and these are my companions. Hello, father.”

“It is good to see fresh, bold faces in this battered town. I will give you assistance however I am able. However, I am growing rather tired.”

His assistance is healing or spells.

Nothing here catches my eye, save for the spells I already have.

“Father, you look tired.”

“This town fights two wars, one from without, one from within. Golems attack our bodies, and Skribbane herb attacks our souls.”

“What can you tell us about the Golems?”

“They do to us what the giants do to Lorelei. They rush in, throw spells at us, and run back. Every day, we grow weaker. Only one town has had luck fighting them.”

“Surely someone who can fight them can help?”

“There is a force up in Tevrono, a town to the north, that has had much success against the golems. However, they stand alone. Our mayor refuses to support them. If you wish to battle the golems, you should go up there and see what they're doing right.”

“And this vile herb, Skribbane?”

“Oh, my poor flock. They are subjected to constant danger and fear. Then these men and women come, and offer them strange new way to completely escape the horror of their lives, and they leap at it. It is only then that they find out the true price.

“Once you ingest Skribbane Herb, it starts to seize control of your soul. The more you take, the less good it does you, but the more you need it. I tell you, it is as implacable and lethal a foe as the golems ever were.”

“Thank you for your time.”

“And for yours. Go in Light, and may you always find your way.”




“I suppose it's my turn to talk.”



You meet Gale's alchemist. He looks at you skeptically.

“Greetings. I am Matthias.”

“I an Nantier.”

“If you don't mind, what is it that you do here?”

He says tiredly “I don't make herb. I don't have herb. I am a simple alchemist.”

“Uh... herb?”

“I don't know anything about that Skribane stuff beyond that everyone asks for it! And I don't have it! If that's what you want, I'll have to bid you good day.”

“No, we aren't interested in that. In your other services, perhaps?”

Alchemy, you mean? Yes. I teach alchemical recipes. If you would like to purchase one, that's something I can do for you. Be sure to ask about the needed ingredients. I could do a lot better though, if I could enter the library. Still, we all do what we can.”

“What is this about the library?”

“Gale has a small, but very high quality library in city hall. Unfortunately, the librarian died and our esteemed mayor closed it for good.” He thinks. “I heard one woman say she knows how to enter it, but I will have no dealings with her.”

“What woman?”

“She has a shop, where she sells that accursed herb. I'm not sure where it is. She told me she knows something of the library. I want to get into it, but I wouldn't go near her place for all the business in the world.”

“Beware those who would limit your access to information, for in their hearts, they dream themselves your master.”

“That sounds about right.”

“I was just quoting someone from long ago.”

“Still true. Get me into the library, and I'll see about rewarding you somehow.”




“My turn!”



“HELLO!”

This woman is clearly a mage. However, you aren't sure how much you should trust her. She seems constantly distracted, and her eyes look glazed over. “I am ... I ... I am Velnas.”

“I'm Sass!”

She thinks. “Excuse my distraction. I am a bit tired. I am Gale's mage. I teach spells, and do other services.”

“What do you teach?”

She pulls out a spell book and looks it over. Some of the spells seem to confuse her, but after a bit, she finds a few she is comfortable with. “You can purchase spells from me. Would you like that?”



IDENTIFY!

“This means we no longer need to worry about the mission assigned to us by the mayor of Golddale.”

Except I don't buy it at this time. I'll get back to it. Eventually.

“And what other services do you offer?”

She concentrates. “Well, I can. I can identify items. And you can sell them to me too. I get items to sell to others. Yes. That is right.”



Fletcher's here, on the other side of the two previous shops. Nothing interesting.



This man quickly stuffs a package in his pocket when you approach. He bows to you. “I am Master Kalen. Greetings to you.”

“Hey there! I'm Sass!”

His face twitches suddenly. He looks pained. He still manages to talk. “I am the trainer for Gale. Would you like knowledge?”

“Are you alright?”



I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in learning from a man who is addicted to Skribbane.




“Yeah, let's not risk this.”



“We've pretty much covered all of town. But I see something behind the temple we haven't been to yet.”



:barf:
:catholic:

“I think the entrance is on the outside.”



“I was right!”

“You're learning.”



:barf:
:catholic:

“This herb ... the stench is thick. I think I'll wait outside.”

“I'll go with you.”



“Hello.”



You meet the woman who runs this grim place. She moves smoothly up to you and bows. “Ah! The Exiles. You will forgive me if I do not say my name. I'm sure you of all people would understand.”

“We do. We're not here for the ... herb. We want to know what you know about the library.”

She does sell Skribbane. I'm not going to buy any.

“Oh, yes! The Librarian of Gale came here often. She traded a key to the library for some herbs. You can have ownership of it for only 1000 gold. It does me no good.”

“Done.”

She takes your gold and hands you a key made of electrum. “Poor soul. She was slain by a golem's fireball not long after she sold this to me. Oh well.”

Huh. The key to Erika's back room was supposed to be Electrum, was it not? I might have to check that out, but I'm not holding out hope.



Huh. I can't find the graphic for someone in bed. I'll just have to improvise. I'm talking to the person in the corner for this next conversation.

“uhhh...” You see a mage of the Empire, decayed to a horrifying extent. She lies back on the filthy bed, the corners of her mouth crusted with herbal potion. She mumbles incoherently.

“I think this is her. The one we needed to talk to.”

Somehow, she manages to hear you. “I am Roselei.”

She mumbles. “Oh Edward. Oh, oh Edward.”

“Who is Edward? Your husband?”

Her eyes open wide. “Edward? I thought they had you! Have you come back to me? Have you returned?”

She suddenly starts to cry. She stares in your direction, but cannot see you. “You cannot fool me. My Edward was slain. He is gone. Go away, and leave me to what poor peace I can find.”

“I wish I could. But we need to know what you know about the Golems.”



“Flying? Well, we can do that.”

“I wish there was something we can do for these people.”

“There is nothing. They chose this, as all hope has fled them. You would only harm them now.”

:(

“Let's get out of here.”





“Here are your horses.”

“Thank you!”

“We'll be back.”

“I don't doubt that. Go. As much as I enjoy profit, this city cannot live while the Golems are free to ruin everything.”

“Understood.”

berryjon fucked around with this message at 22:04 on Mar 22, 2017

Epsilon Moonshade
Nov 22, 2016

Not an excellent host.

berryjon posted:

“Beware those who would limit your access to information, for in their hearts, they dream themselves your master.”

I don't know if this was a quote from something other than Alpha Centauri, but this gave me a chuckle and a wave of nostalgia, all in one. :allears:

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
Knowledge is Power! :black101:

Skribbane on the other hand, is demonic cocaine/weed. That's not good at all.

Vil
Sep 10, 2011

berryjon posted:

“uhhh...” [i]You see a mage of the Empire, decayed to a horrifying extent. She lies back on the filthy bed, the corners of her mouth crusted with herbal potion. She mumbles incoherently.”

Missing close italic bracket on this line.

Also, skribbane loving sucks. It's not quite as bad in gameplay as in plot, but even so.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Epsilon Moonshade posted:

I don't know if this was a quote from something other than Alpha Centauri, but this gave me a chuckle and a wave of nostalgia, all in one. :allears:

No, it was AC. I remembered that I hadn't done something like that in a while, and it fit. So why not?


Vil posted:

Missing close italic bracket on this line.

And fixed. Thanks.

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe

EponymousMrYar posted:

Knowledge is Power! :black101:

Skribbane on the other hand, is demonic cocaine/weed. That's not good at all.

The way it's presented here, it gives a stimulant high (not dissimilar to cocaine, then), with a profoundly depressant low. Which is kind of odd because I would expect opiates to be the drug of choice in a place like Gale.

I dimly recall that if you take Skribbane yourself, you get boosts to health and the "basic" stats (STR/DEX/INT), possibly also haste and bless. Too bad the effects invert themselves when the drug wears off.

thetruegentleman
Feb 5, 2011

You call that potato a Trump avatar?

THIS is a Trump Avatar!

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

The way it's presented here, it gives a stimulant high (not dissimilar to cocaine, then), with a profoundly depressant low. Which is kind of odd because I would expect opiates to be the drug of choice in a place like Gale.

Actually, it's pretty much dead-on for an opiate: the weaker kinds (like Hydrocodine) tend to give first time users a high kinda similar to endorphins, without any of the tiresome feeling (although the constipation is still vicious, to the point of sometimes needing a separate prescription just for that, so don't take it if Advil will work instead). Then tolerance builds, and people have to move either to heroin or Oxycodine to get any kind of high, only the depressive effect becomes strong enough to make people nod off for hours.

There's a reason opiates have been debilitating and profitable enough to force a war between China and Britain in the past...

year199X
Oct 9, 2012
Grimey Drawer

berryjon posted:

Update 049 – Moon, Bremerton, Bengaro, Poulsbo

“Welcome to Bengaro. Beware of Giants throwing Boluders.

Here's something I noticed from a few updates ago.

What I thought was neat about Skribbane is how it has flavor text for when you actually use it, and when it wears off. Is there a cure for being addicted or do you need to endure your characters being terribly gimped?

Zagglezig
Oct 16, 2012
The contrast of this city with the others reminds me a lot of the contrast between the two cities in the second Quest for Glory game, only there the gloomy, closed off city was more a strictly tyrannical dictatorship causing problems rather than being beaten down by multiple issues.


berryjon posted:

Bourbon is 8 gold fora round.

You find a vacant, beary-eyed man

I don't know anything about that Skirbbane stuff

It that's what you want, I'll have to bid you good day.

She told be she knows something of the library

TheObserver
Nov 7, 2012
My God, the condition of the city is so bad even the grammar itself is falling apart.

I'd think about leaving it in.

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



TheObserver posted:

My God, the condition of the city is so bad even the grammar itself is falling apart.

I'd think about leaving it in.
This is your LP'er on Skribbane. Stay clean kids. :nono:

On a serious note, I seem to remember the remakes (or maybe it was the 4-6 trilogy?) turned using Skribbane into a semi-viable strategy by making it give free AP (awesome!) and sufficiently cheap that you could basically just load up and use it for the entire rest of the game.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Ouch. But... where did the herb come from? Off-continent?

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Glazius posted:

Ouch. But... where did the herb come from? Off-continent?

It's native to the Isle of Bigail. The smuggling path is Bigail -> Lorelei -> Gale

LuffyVeggies
Mar 11, 2016

berryjon posted:

The Shopkeeper has unique dialogue, but says nothing. And his inventory is hilariously out of date, even without accounting for the three Magic Plate's I've bought or found.

I think the worst part is that the Gale armorsmith has been hyped up somewhat in earlier parts of the game, with some people saying, "Gale has the beast weapons in armor on the continent, and the best stuff comes from there." I wonder how bad things must be for that to be true.

berryjon posted:

No clue what he does. But 7500 to improve a Steel Waveblade tells me it's not all that powerful.

I've used it before - I'm pretty sure it's a flat +3 improvement to the weapon, which is quite a bit but not really worth it for most weapons. From what I recall, it's about 25,000 gold to upgrade a Steel Halberd, which is pointless because the Black Halberd exists, unless you have more than one polearm user.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
Update 052 - Greendale and Tevrono



“So, this General person is to the north. There's a road leading that way, but I don't know how far.”

“And there will be Golems.”

“Yes, there will.”

“I feel this will not be an easy thing to resolve.”

“No, it will not. These things are abominations, even more so than those we have addressed before.”

“Slimes were natural, though bigger. Roaches the same. Giants and Troglodytes were dead, but brought back from the abyss. Golems ... they are completely artificial. There may be nothing we can exploit to properly end them.”

“In the end, brute force works.”

“But we are not the cudgel.”

“We are the rapier.”

But before we go further, I realized I missed something. Actually, two somethings. But getting the second one will require a bit more back tracking than I am willing to do at this point. Before heading north, I go back west.




“Art, your sense of direction is horrible.”

“Yeah, yeah. But I'm hearing it again.”




“But these are the mines where we were ambushed by the Golems.”

“At least I doubt they have the intelligence to gain benefit from the circles.”

“Found a path!”



“Yeah, It's here.”



“How did you miss it the first time?”

“Magic?”

“That explains nothing, and raises more questions than it answers.”




“Let's do this.”





We got some XP from that. But only Delilah went up a level. Oh well.



“Does anyone else get the feeling that these are ...”
“Meant for Art? Yeah.”

* * *




“That is a big wall. A really big wall.”

Same problem the Chinese wall had with the Mongols, if I remember correctly.



“There's not much of a road up here. Should we keep going north?”



“ART! This is EAST!”

“Fine, let's go back west till we find the road.”



“There. That wasn't so bad now, was it?”



“No, this is worse.”

“I don't see any bodies though.”




“Who names a bridge like this? Is this the Azerdon river? Was he the architect or patron?”

“I'm more concerned about those.”



“CHARGE!”



“We don't know who you are, but you're not them. Thanks for the help!”



“No problem.”




“Really. No problem.”

Not pictured: Art casting Divine Thud on the Golems, only to deal less than 20 damage to each. I wanted to see if being the Avatar meant anything to spell casting, but it appears not.



Reload...



“And stay down!”



“Will do.”




“We will all need to be on the lookout now.”



“No.”

“I didn't say anything.”

“You didn't have to.”



“dammit art”



“Eyes on the road!”




“This won't be too much to deal with.”



“I think we're just getting more experienced.”



“Wow”



“He's not kidding.”



I would expect this sort of damage from a dungeon-town, not an active town with friendly NPCs. That's not a good sign.




“Odd place to find a store.”



This wizard is truly ancient. You're almost afraid something is going to fall off of him while he talks to you. “I'm McElton, the wizard. You must be the Exiles.”

“Matthias and company. Yes. Our ... leader came here rather than heading north as was suggested.”

“I'm standing right here you know!”

“Forgive her. What do you do here? This town is nigh-ruined!”

He grunts and says angrily. “I make magic items. Same as I've done for fifty years. And you if came to get me to leave, it ain't gonna' work!”

Fifty years?”

“At least!”

“Why do you choose to stay? Surely the Army has asked you to leave for your own safety?”

“They're about to abandon my home to those overgrown statues out there, are they? Well, I ain't goin' along with it! This is where I've lived for fifty years, where I honed by craft, and I'm goin' down with the ship! Mark my words! Now, you gonna' buy magic items or just waste my time?”



!!! That is really cheap!



“I can't tell what this place used to be.”

“That's because it was a store room.”



This vigorous, hawkish man wears the robes of a wizard. However, the robes are decorated not with the usual runes or sigils, but with the insignia of a commander in the Empire Army. He looks you over appraisingly. “I am Commander Maertok. You can call me Commander Maertok.”

“I know of you. You are ... officially speaking, adventurers. Let's keep it that way for now. Welcome to our troubled province.”

“You sound annoyed at the condition of your province.”

“Don't get me wrong. Monoroe Province is Hell on Earth right now, but won't be this way forever. We have General Baziron to lead us.”

“We have heard good things about General Baziron. What do you make of him?”

“He leads us from Tevrono. He was the only leader who had the guts to ignore those twits in Gale, and fight the monsters with his head as well as his blade.”

“I like him already.”

“We heard from McElton that you're planning on leaving the town?”

“Yes, sadly. We'll be abandoning Greendale soon. The golems were coming here one or two at a time to attack, and we were picking them off easily. Now, they're coming in bigger groups, so we're going to rejoin our army before we get cut off.”

“Don't let us get in your way then.”




“But the Horsies!”

“Were all evacuated.”

“Well, that's enough for here. Let's go check in with General Baziron.”

* * *





“Curious. I see deer over there.”

“What is so odd about that?”

“It's almost like the Golems are ignoring them. That they are only focused on the Empire.”

“And us.”

“Yes. And us.”




“This looks like a siege force. Let's see if we can go around it.”




“This is annoying. But not needing logistics for a siege makes these things quite useful.”




“I approve.”



:barf: :barf:
:catholic: “You need any help?”

“No.”




“Not helpful!”




“Inner ring, to defend against the town, rather than reinforcements.”




“Yeah, and the forest is too thick for us to properly move through.”

“Yet, I don't see any Golems...”



“Hail and well met. The General has been made aware of your arrival. Pass in peace.”

“We will. Thank you.”

While you could fight your way through two rings of Golems to get to town, you can sneak around just as easy. Or if you're lazy, like me.



“So, this is Tevrono. This city has seen plenty of war.”



“Very true.”


“Very thick walls.”





“Hail. The general is awaiting your pleasure. He is on his inspections rounds, so you will need to track him down.”

“Thank you.”



You meet Tevrono's weaponsmith. She is almost frantically busy, struggling to keep up with the demands of supplying the soldiers in Tevrono. “I am Tenuta,” she says breathlessly.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping keep Baziron's troops supplied. You can purchase some things too. I still have some of my old stock.”



I'm not going to complain about the selection here. It's obvious she's overworked and all her best efforts are going to the General.

“What is General Baziron like?”

“The General has somehow figures out how the Golems move and act, and figures out ways to kill them. It's an honor to supply his troops. I make weapons, and improve them when I have the time.”

“You can improve weapons?”



Expensive, but Bronwyn has been using a weapon that comes pre-flamed, and Sass has a better weapon coming soon. Art, of course, is sticking with the Alien Blades.



“I wonder if this was destroyed before or after the General began his defences in earnest?”




“Sounds, pleasant.”



Hey! That's a golem gem on someone's bed. They've been keeping trophies! I really should check how many I have at some point.




“Another sleeping building.”




“Want to bet he's in his office now?”

“Might as well check. I'll do the talking.”



“Art.”

“General Baziron.”

This massive man wears the armor and insignia of an Empire Dervish, although he doesn't seem to be in the physical shape for melee. This must be the infamous General Baziron. He stands to firmly shake your hands. “Welcome to Tevrono,” his voice is deep and rough, his skin weathered. He has the look of a man who has spent most of his life outdoors.

“General, what's your status?”

He sighs. “It has fallen to me to lead our forces against the Golems. We, I'm afraid, are their only effective opposition.”

“What makes you so effective?”

He frowns. “Those fools in Gale, they don't realize the golems are a different foe, and need different tactics. Not like the Exiles, or the Shaper cult. We out here in Tevrono have been the only troops to have had any luck against those things.”

“What is your opinion of the Golems?”

He chuckles. “The Golems are lethal foes. However, they have their weaknesses, and I have developed tactics against them. This is good, as we're the only people having any luck.”

“And your tactics?”

“Probably nothing that would help you. You don't move in the same formations we do, nor are you defending a fixed point. But I can give you an example. It's unrelated to the real reason I wanted to speak to you.”

“Well, let's hear this example.”



“Interesting. Now, about that reason?”

“We're doing all right against the Golems, but we need help. We're chopping at them, and slowing them down, but we don't have the strength to find and assault their source.”

“And where do we come in?”

“I've heard of your exploits. You have had luck infiltrating and destroying the enemies fortresses. I would like you to do the same for me. I can't tell you were they come from, but I can tell you one valuable fact.”

“Go on.”

“There are mountains to the south-east. Far up them lives a mage. He visited us, flying down from the sky like a bird. He said someone should go up to see him ... he knows much about the golems. Why he wanted us to go up there, we don't know. But I thought you might want to know. You may be our only hope against the golems.”

“Understood, General. We'll investigate this lead.”

“Thank you, Art.”

* * *



“A flying mage?”

“My precious will help us!”

“...”

“Hello there! You look less ... attached to your job than Art is.”

A man sits alone in the empty inn, working on a map. “Indeed. I am Ozmo. It is nice to see civilians.”

“We're not civilians.”

“Ah, legal niceties. But, I am a map maker. And stranded here, I'm afraid.”

“You make maps?”

He cheers up. “That's my trade! I've been making maps of the area to help Baziron and his troops. If you want, you can purchase a map of the Monoroe Province for only 50 gold.”

“Done!”



“What's with this tree symbol?”

“It's either something important, or it's my mark. Take your pick.”

“Can't it be both?”

“And we're done in town.”



“I have a question!”

“Go ahead.”

“Who are the Shapers?”

berryjon fucked around with this message at 12:32 on Apr 6, 2017

EponymousMrYar
Jan 4, 2015

The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
That... Is actually a very good question!

Also finally a flying mage. There's no way he could be setting a flying mage trap.

Chronische
Aug 7, 2012

Surely they aren't the robe-wearing, glowing-eye'd friendly totalitarian mages of a very similar game. Surely!

Epsilon Moonshade
Nov 22, 2016

Not an excellent host.

berryjon posted:

“Who are the Shapers?”

EponymousMrYar posted:

That... Is actually a very good question!

Chronische posted:

Surely they aren't the robe-wearing, glowing-eye'd friendly totalitarian mages of a very similar game. Surely!

Funny, I glossed right over the initial Shaper reference on first read since I'm following both LPs. :v:

Interesting, though - have we had any other hints that the various Spiderweb games are tied together? Or is this well-known lore that I'm just not well enough to know?

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
No, it's a shout-out. Nothing more. Just like my earlier mention of the Nethergate rebellion ... oh ...in Update 22B!

I still have to work an Avadon reference in somewhere....

Epsilon Moonshade
Nov 22, 2016

Not an excellent host.

berryjon posted:

No, it's a shout-out. Nothing more. Just like my earlier mention of the Nethergate rebellion ... oh ...in Update 22B!

I still have to work an Avadon reference in somewhere....

:cripes: Or a random reference, yes.

I assumed that the General talking meant that it was only-slightly-modified dialogue.

Parts Kit
Jun 9, 2006

durr
i have a hole in my head
durr
Bunch of weirdos constantly getting high on "essence" and refusing to spell dragon correctly.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Ah, programmed patterns. The problem with patterns is that when you don't know what they are, they may as well not exist.

TheObserver
Nov 7, 2012

Glazius posted:

Ah, programmed patterns. The problem with patterns is that when you don't know what they are, they may as well not exist.

The nice thing about patterns is if they are performed in a similar enough way multiple times, they can possibly be perceived.

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.
As General Baziron has done. He's scary competent when you think about it, and is in the right place and the right time to do the right amount of good. And now Art is present to tilt the balance.

Zagglezig
Oct 16, 2012
Caught the shaper reference, but wasn't sure if it had been mentioned before in the game, so looked up exile and shaper. Turns out the Path of Exile game has a robed mage boss by that name.

So what are the golems made out of? Usually when they pop up in fiction they seem to either require a magic method to deactivate or disassemble or whoever is fighting them is in for a lengthy attempt to hack away at a very thick and solid body.
Doesn't sound like anyone is smashing their weapons just trying to scratch the ones we're running into, so are they more like how we imagine robots?


berryjon posted:

Same as I've done for fifty years. And you came to get me to leave, it ain't gonna' work!”

They're about to abandon my hoe to those overgrown statues

So, this is Tervrono.

That first one seems like it should have an "if" in there. The third has an "r" too many.

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MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



Zagglezig posted:

Caught the shaper reference, but wasn't sure if it had been mentioned before in the game, so looked up exile and shaper. Turns out the Path of Exile game has a robed mage boss by that name.

So what are the golems made out of? Usually when they pop up in fiction they seem to either require a magic method to deactivate or disassemble or whoever is fighting them is in for a lengthy attempt to hack away at a very thick and solid body.
Doesn't sound like anyone is smashing their weapons just trying to scratch the ones we're running into, so are they more like how we imagine robots?
Shapers haven't been mentioned before in the game (nor were they this time) because of the simple fact that this game came out well before Geneforge. Interesting call out by Path of Exile though. MMORPGs tend to be littered with references to other games, literature, movies, etc just because they have so much content that you cant just rely on the stereotypical Tolkien references.

As for Golems, one of the games actually calls them out in flavor text as mobile statues. You just kinda smash them like rocks. But since they need flexibility and mobility, it's not like you're fighting a solid brick wall - target the joints and weak spots.

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