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purple death ray posted:Oh well poo poo then he's got to hit the American embassies all over the world. Get on it, Cummin' Sandiego Be honest with me, did you come up with this pun then send in the confession so you could use it?
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Mar 10, 2017 22:46
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| # ? May 12, 2024 23:48 |
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TheKennedys posted:here you go friend Don't be shy, Saved! is a great movie.
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Mar 10, 2017 23:26
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I love this movie so much
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i'm like 99% sure that if my kid was jacking off in the same car as me i'd notice. first of all it's obvious and second of all why does my car smell like someone just busted a nut.
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Mar 10, 2017 23:27
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You guys gotta read the fesh. Horrible roommate girl is 0% attracted to the guy now, and they've already discussed his awful roommate habits "multiple times" and he keeps right on going. Just move out ASAP and thank your lucky stars you never made a move on the ultimate gross manchild.
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Mar 10, 2017 23:49
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i like nice words
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[quote="quote: post="470182185"] I started doing something as a goof and now it's become a full blown habit. I just thought it would be a funny gag where I'd improvise new lyrics to a song as though the artist was deeply closeted and making freudian slips about sucking dick and such. Now I can't stop. If I get a song stuck in my head and I don't fully know the words, my brain just starts autocompleting all kinds of variations of 'im gay'. I have to watch myself whenever I'm singing around people now. [/quote] Sorry for the late reply. This doesn't sound like a huge problem. It actually sounds like a new career. If your lyrics aren't terrible, and you can sing decently, you should totally start recording yourself, and submitting your songs to the Howard Stern Show. They love this type of poo poo. Ex: Whenever I hear Justin Bieber's "What do you mean?" I start singing, I suck your Ween.
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Mar 11, 2017 00:00
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lol at moving in with someone you want to gently caress and then getting upset they're wanking 3 times a day
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Mar 11, 2017 00:00
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Anne Whateley posted:You guys gotta read the fesh. Horrible roommate girl is 0% attracted to the guy now, and they've already discussed his awful roommate habits "multiple times" and he keeps right on going. Just move out ASAP and thank your lucky stars you never made a move on the ultimate gross manchild. The only part she said they discussed was him playing video games all the time, and it sounds like her thesis was "you should play less video games" when it should have been "let's buy a cheapo Craigslist TV and put it in your room"
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Mar 11, 2017 00:08
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Anne Whateley posted:You guys gotta read the fesh. Horrible roommate girl is 0% attracted to the guy now, and they've already discussed his awful roommate habits "multiple times" and he keeps right on going. Just move out ASAP and thank your lucky stars you never made a move on the ultimate gross manchild. quote:4) He has started complaining about not finding any "good females" around. Which is hilarious because I'm right there She goes on to talk about the MRA stuff but this strikes me as odd phrasing for someone you're 0% attracted to.
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Mar 11, 2017 00:24
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loquacius posted:The only part she said they discussed was him playing video games all the time, and it sounds like her thesis was "you should play less video games" when it should have been "let's buy a cheapo Craigslist TV and put it in your room" fruit on the bottom posted:She goes on to talk about the MRA stuff but this strikes me as odd phrasing for someone you're 0% attracted to.
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Mar 11, 2017 00:31
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Marmaduke! posted:That wall thing is unbelievable - not even a single mention of a wall lobster. hosed up
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Mar 11, 2017 14:57
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quote:I pray on newly single girls (friends of friends mostly) via the power of Facebook. I obsessively track relationship statuses in my free time, and if a girl is newly single a pounce. Recent boyfriend breakups are good, divorces are better. quote:My parents told a young me that some movies were real, and some were just stories. Unfortunately, they decided to gently caress with me by saying that real movies included "A Nightmare on Elm Street". Those murders really happened, they said, and this was a documentary trying to explain what happened. The sequels were not real, and just made because the first movie did so well, but the first one was a true story. My father did not help matters by saying "That's the same thing they did with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre" too.
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Mar 11, 2017 15:07
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Double-fesh-posting because I'm going to PAX today and can't do it later. Skipping one about how LITERALLY A BIRD is hot because that counts as forums drama and we've seen it before anywayquote:I have always had a hard time understanding some things others perceive as simple. I am in my late 20s and have major questions nobody has adequately answered for me. quote:when i was in middle schopol i went through a cross dressing phase. maybe it was 7th grade it was a while ago i cant recall. single mother raised my family, so she was working a lot of nights. i would sneak into her room and snag some clothing. i would go into my room and wear it. it gave me a thrill, but for the most part i didn't enjoy it all too much. i found some of my mom's silk panties and i wore them to school on day. it wads a catholic school and i spent the entire day terrified god would find punish me. i felt immense guilt and attributed it to god being mad at me, but it was really just a border line anxiety attack.
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Mar 11, 2017 15:09
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quote:And how do the continents float on the water if rocks sink? lmao
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Mar 11, 2017 15:16
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Freddy goon that's a great story. Goon who doesn't know that gravity exists just needs to watch some bill nye
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Mar 11, 2017 15:20
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I know this is bait but im bored so here we go "I do not understand how the Earth is spinning but we don't feel it or fall off." You're spinning at the same speed as the earth, so you aren't going to feel it, the same way you don't feel movement in a car that's doing a steady speed. Gravity holds you down so you dont fly off. "Why does the Sun stay together if it's just a ball of gas? Wouldn't it be like a popped balloon and spread out everywhere?" Gravity. "Why does Earth have oxygen but the moon doesn't? Why doesn't the oxygen float away? That's just at the cosmic level." Gravity. "I don't understand why you can't grab your feet and life yourself into the air. I weigh 150 lbs, I can lift 150 lbs. What's stopping me from lifting myself up forever and flying away?" You can't lift yourself because you need to have something to act against to create movement. When you try to pick yourself up, you're essentially just putting balanced forces on yourself, so the net acceleration is zero, which means no movement. "How does swimming work? We are lighter than water, I get that, but then how can you dive unless you swallow water?" You have to either weight yourself down or constantly keep swimming down to counter boyancy. "And how do the continents float on the water if rocks sink? Is it the same principle of boats floating because they have effectively a big bubble inside them?" Continents aren't floating rock, they're continuous all the way down through the earth. The oceans are basically just really, really big lakes. "How does a radio work? I know it picks up radio waves but why can't we see them moving in the air like the wind, and how do we turn sounds in to radio waves?" Radio waves fall outside the spectrum that the human eye can see, but if our eyes were built differently theoretically we would be able to see them. As far as radio waves into sound, the radio waves generate current which acts on a magnet in the speaker to cause it to vibrate, which generates sound waves that your eardrum can pick up (not 100% sure on that one but p sure its close) "I would honestly appreciate solid answers to these things." that fesh was p obviously bait but im an idiot so you're welcome
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Mar 11, 2017 15:30
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If you can find some free intro to physics classes, you should take them. They should help you learn how multiple forces can be acting on an object, what they are, and how to calculate the net force, which would answer a lot of your questions. Second half of intro to physics should help explain the different facets of radios (electric potentials, circuits, electromagnetic waves, etc.), along with other mysterious creations such as glasses and magnets. Plus also interesting poo poo like basics of relativity and atomic physics
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Mar 11, 2017 15:32
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Intro to physics classes aren't going to help anyone who is a "skeptic" about basic concepts like gravity like he sounds like. Sometimes it's OK to call someone an idiot instead of trying to teach them. All of his questions could be solved through quick googling - he doesn't want to do that though because he finds those answers boring, therefore he's an idiot.
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Mar 11, 2017 15:39
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Goon with no understanding of physics: I really wonder what state/country the guy went to school in. Where I'm from, those are the kind of questions you'd ask and receive answers for in, I dunno, fourth grade? But a lot of places, you're not allowed to ask questions in class and as a result a lot of people have these, to us, incredibly strange gaps in their knowledge and understanding of the world. I knew a kid who came from a Polish fundie private school who spent a year in my high school. On a field trip to a beach, he stepped off the bus, exclaimed "I'm so thirsty!", walked out to the sea and gulped down a great big double handful of water before immediately puking his guts out. Turns out he'd never been able to ask a teacher why sea water isn't safe to drink, and had somehow become convinced that this extremely well-known fact was an urban legend. He wasn't even that dumb - kinda thick, perhaps, but by no means the kind of pants-making GBS threads retard you'd expect from this one story. Fuckbear goon: Jesus Christ how horrifying.
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Mar 11, 2017 15:39
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KomodoWagon posted:Goon with no understanding of physics: I really wonder what state/country the guy went to school in. Where I'm from, those are the kind of questions you'd ask and receive answers for in, I dunno, fourth grade? But a lot of places, you're not allowed to ask questions in class and as a result a lot of people have these, to us, incredibly strange gaps in their knowledge and understanding of the world. I knew a kid who came from a Polish fundie private school who spent a year in my high school. On a field trip to a beach, he stepped off the bus, exclaimed "I'm so thirsty!", walked out to the sea and gulped down a great big double handful of water before immediately puking his guts out. Turns out he'd never been able to ask a teacher why sea water isn't safe to drink, and had somehow become convinced that this extremely well-known fact was an urban legend. He wasn't even that dumb - kinda thick, perhaps, but by no means the kind of pants-making GBS threads retard you'd expect from this one story. A lot of the schools in this country are just poo poo based off where they are. My wife, who is otherwise an intelligent person, has these random gaps in knowledge due to going to a country bumpkin public school just one county over from where I did. Basic stuff I learned in (my upper middle class) elementary school was never brought up her entire education. I really believe that all of the backlash against stuff like common core is because there are a lot of stupid teachers and parents out there that are incapable of understanding it themselves, let alone capable of teaching it.
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Mar 11, 2017 16:50
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quote:In the past year I've had one night stands with 8 recent divorcees, 3 girls who just got dumped, and 5 women who were separated from their husbands. Not bad for a guy who was a virgin until he was 25. I'm not sure if you're trying to brag or you're just oblivious to how sad this is. Let me fill you in: only being able to sleep with women who are emotionally distraught and vulnerable is pathetic. They clearly don't want you, they just need someone. Try finding a woman that actually likes you and wants to be with you on repeated occasions. That would be "not bad".
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Mar 11, 2017 17:49
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Who even cares enough about facebook to keep their relationship status up to date anymore?
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Mar 11, 2017 18:12
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The Management posted:I'm not sure if you're trying to brag or you're just oblivious to how sad this is. Let me fill you in: only being able to sleep with women who are emotionally distraught and vulnerable is pathetic. They clearly don't want you, they just need someone. That's probably why it's anonymous, they know how pathetic they are
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Mar 11, 2017 18:19
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That's not what "pray" means, but I like the idea of some pious virgin going around and praying with all kinds of newly single women.
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Mar 11, 2017 18:20
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Why are all the fetish confessors always men? Why don't girls cross dress into dad's boots... Or maybe they do but it's considered cute? And they are never into men's feet or smelly socks. My socks are stinking up the living room instead of luring fetishistettes...  And yeah who shares their breakups and divorces on FB? If that happens you set your relationship status to private and then you break up. I haven't seen a public breakup in five years at least.
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Mar 12, 2017 02:45
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Johny-on-the-Spot posted:Sorry for the late reply. This doesn't sound like a huge problem. It actually sounds like a new career. If your lyrics aren't terrible, and you can sing decently, you should totally start recording yourself, and submitting your songs to the Howard Stern Show. They love this type of poo poo. Ex: Whenever I hear Justin Bieber's "What do you mean?" I start singing, I suck your Ween. honestly this sounds like the beginning of a n*stomper58 descent into madness. first you can't stop improvising songs about gay dicks and before you know it you're goin' prodromal.
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Mar 12, 2017 02:53
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Doctor Malaver posted:Why are all the fetish confessors always men? Why don't girls cross dress into dad's boots... Or maybe they do but it's considered cute? And they are never into men's feet or smelly socks. My socks are stinking up the living room instead of luring fetishistettes... These are two weird things that seem to be exclusively male. Plenty of girls dress like boys, we call them tomboys, but it's not a sexual thing for them like it is for cross dressing boys. Similarly foot fetishists are all men as far as I can tell. I have no idea what that's all about.
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Mar 12, 2017 04:07
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There's also a much greater tradition of women dressing or trying to pass as men in order to do things that women traditionally wouldn't have been allowed to do. Like in Mulan, for a very mainstream example. Or Charley Parkhursrt for a more obscure one. Conversely, there's nothing of that nature to be gained for a man pretending to be a woman so it doesn't really have a chance to be romanticized in the same way. And voila, now you've got the recipe for a social double standard on crossdessing. Obviously this doesn't touch on trans issues, but those probably weren't a huge consideration when we formed our societal opinions on cross dressing.
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Mar 12, 2017 06:01
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Women are the sex class in our society. When a guy gets around puberty and wants to feel desirable (which is totally normal), he's not going to have access to sexy men's underwear, or even know that it exists. If he wants to try out Sex Clothes, almost by definition they're going to be women's. There you go, fetish formed. I know a bunch of women who are into men's shoes and boots, but I don't think I know any who are into men's feet. I'm not like anti–men's feet, I think they can look good just like hands or arms or anything can, but they have to be thoroughly groomed . . .
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Mar 12, 2017 06:14
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grumplestiltzkin posted:"How does swimming work? We are lighter than water, I get that, but then how can you dive unless you swallow water?" In addition, a human body is denser than water once all the air is expelled out of the lungs. This is the reason why you can float on the surface with a breath full of air, then blow it all out and you'll sink instantly. And the continent thing isn't as stupid as it seems, but they don't float on water. "Float" is kind of the wrong word but each continental plate does kind of float on an "ocean" of rock (the mantle)which is more like soft plastic because of the heat from the earth's core and the pressure of the continental plates above it. Plates grinding and sliding against and beneath each other is where earthquakes and most volcanoes come from. Even if it was just a joke, I got a big kick out of the idea that you should be able to lift yourself up into the sky. So thanks for that
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Mar 12, 2017 06:15
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Play posted:In addition, a human body is denser than water once all the air is expelled out of the lungs. Depending on body composition, this isn't necessarily true.
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Mar 12, 2017 06:40
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Kim Jong ill posted:Depending on body composition, this isn't necessarily true. A healthy human body. Fatties may float at will. Perhaps one day a less-dense-than-air human will arise and will grace the skies with their hefty dirigible frame and we will look up in wonder at the majesty of flight.
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Mar 12, 2017 09:52
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Play posted:Even if it was just a joke, I got a big kick out of the idea that you should be able to lift yourself up into the sky. So thanks for that Surely it was a nod to the mindset that you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps, too.
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Mar 12, 2017 11:26
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loquacius posted:I've never gotten a DUI but I once paid a lawyer to show up to traffic court for me, and apparently he and the judge agreed that although the officer THOUGHT I was checking the traffic map on my phone while stuck in a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam, what ACTUALLY happened was that I parked in front of a fire hydrant, and nobody needed to tell my insurance company about this You don't even need to pay an attorneys to do this, you can show up in court and this is what happens.
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Mar 12, 2017 13:18
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tater_salad posted:You don't even need to pay an attorneys to do this, you can show up in court and this is what happens. Yeah, as I said in the next post, I couldn't do that because the court was two states over from where I was on the court date quote:back when i was in middle school i lived in squalor. single mom taking care of my family of 7, with a little help from her family. i got my own bedroom and basically only left for food, school, and to walk to get another 12 pack of soda - for about 9 years. my room was disgusting. in no order, i will list why: quote:This certainly isn't as dramatic as a lot of the stuff, fake or not, in this thread. But it's a real confession as in nobody in my life today knows anything about this.
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Mar 12, 2017 21:50
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quote:junkie goon Same
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Mar 12, 2017 21:58
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Good to hear you got clean. But having worked in the English teaching field in Asia for awhile, the most unbelievable thing to me is that you found a country where there were both schools willing to fire you for suspected drug use and officials corrupt enough that you could get forged visa stamps.
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Mar 13, 2017 02:14
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Saw that news story about some crazy guy jumping the white house fence and insisting that he had an appointment with Trump. Must've been insane Trump alien guy
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Mar 13, 2017 05:44
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Play posted:Saw that news story about some crazy guy jumping the white house fence and insisting that he had an appointment with Trump. Must've been insane Trump alien guy I want to believe. More than Kane being a Goon. I want to believe.
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Mar 13, 2017 13:44
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I'm sure Trump will meet with him once he finds out that he's part alien.
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Mar 13, 2017 13:51
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Atlas Hugged posted:Good to hear you got clean. But having worked in the English teaching field in Asia for awhile, the most unbelievable thing to me is that you found a country where there were both schools willing to fire you for suspected drug use and officials corrupt enough that you could get forged visa stamps.
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Mar 13, 2017 14:10
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