RareAcumen posted:

HenryEx posted:

This one, still don't know where the cig is coming from though

C.M. Kruger posted:

Say Nothing posted:

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Barry Allen can outrun time and death. A blue hedgehog has nothing on that.

Rangpur posted:

If he's chasing that van down a public street, he still has to obey traffic laws.

LOCUST FART HELL posted:

ACTUALLY Sonic also ran through time I am writing a 12 page essay detailing how this will go down

Baba Yaga Fanboy posted:

save yourself the trouble friend



Can't no hedgehoge outrun my man barry "Flash" allen

Baba Yaga Fanboy posted:

save yourself the trouble friend



Can't no hedgehoge outrun my man barry "Flash" allen

Space Flower posted:

that's just timestop for all feasible intents and purposes

goose willis posted:

If he can run faster than light how does he see where he's going

goose willis posted:

If he can run faster than light how does he see where he's going

C.M. Kruger posted:

Blooming Brilliant posted:

I'm struggling finding it, can someone find and share the post/image explaining just how dumb/strong the Flash is? He's one of the strongest beings in the DCU to a stupid level, if not the strongest.

quote:

Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his rear end. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.
Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fu master of not much, but instead he's the hottest poo poo to ever poo poo on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of gently caress you batman. That's Batman.
But the loving Flash, my god, my loving GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that loving hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.
Ok first off, he can travel at light speed. Mother gently caress! Not only does he travel at light speed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's loving fast. But wait! The ability to move at Light Speed just isn't loving enough!
I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!
The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at light speed would run into poo poo but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or loving EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transferring kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. It's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the loving Flash.
Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at light speed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.
But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and poo poo he's going to lose and gently caress how is Superman THIS loving strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.
How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beat-down, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! gently caress you Flash!
Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at light speed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak grease fire.

Pick posted:

god superheroes are dumb as gently caress. god I despise that genre.

Parts Kit posted:

https://i.imgur.com/WFE3yYP.gifv

Boxman posted:

quote:

Flash powers

Pomp posted:

my favorite insanely dumb superhero fact is that that mutants in the x-men universe are actually loving reality benders but all have mental blocks limiting them.

Like Iceman actually has complete temperature control, but he's never tried heating something up.

SirPhoebos posted:

SirPhoebos posted:

goose willis posted:

Well that's one way to break the ice but I think she's giving him a cold shoulder

PhazonLink posted:

Who's OC is that?

I know Chip's is the dull yellow one, but the other?