Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

This one isn't especially terrible, but I feel like I got M. Night Shyamalan-d.

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

I'm 49% sure that the If You Have Savings in your 20s article was just designed to be clicked on and get ad revenue. It's perfectly stupid with an inflammatory title and lots of good snippets to get people really riled up

quote:

11 ‘Weaknesses’ Creative People Have That Are Actually Their Strengths

3. Taking too many risks

4. Letting their intuition make their decisions

What others see as sporadic and uneducated guesses, creatives see as the guiding force to every decision in their life. They have the strength to trust their gut and follow what feels right, not what looks right.

10. Dreaming too much

Dreaming isn’t the antonym of success. It’s the root of it.

11. Having fun all the time

No creative will ever take a job that has no passion. Because they think of their jobs as their lives, they want their jobs to be fun.

Creatives will take work to support themselves. But in the end, they want the job that’s going to sustain and fulfill them — a job that’s fun.

Until then, they’ll just keep letting you take all the sh*tty ones.

quote:

Why Every Relationship Should Have One ‘Thinker’ And One ‘Feeler’

Someone needs to make the plans and the other needs to bust them. One needs to waste the money and the other needs to let it be "wasted."

quote:

Love Is A Balance: If You Keep Me Safe, I'll Keep You Wild

quote:

If you "need" a salary, then you need a new plan.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

I was 100% sure this was the case, but... the author is a "lifestyle columnist" and has other articles with almost as bad advice:

quote:

What others see as sporadic and uneducated guesses, creatives see as the guiding force to every decision in their life. They have the strength to trust their gut and follow what feels right, not what looks right.

cowofwar posted:

I'm sure clickbait listicle writing pays well. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they are the creative/dreamer/spender/no salary.

cowofwar posted:

I'm sure clickbait listicle writing pays well. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they are the creative/dreamer/spender/no salary.

NancyPants posted:

Bruh, when will you link?

quote:

When my portfolio grows, does that mean someone else is losing money to cause the growth?

When I see my 401K grow to 20X the amount when I retire, does that mean someone out there is losing money to cause that growth? If hypothetically EVERYONE in this world invest in their 401K like I do, and each get 20X the amount when they retire, wouldn't everything just cancel out and that 20X would simply be offset by inflation and thus retains the same spending power? Bread will cost 20x more and so will everything else?

quote:

No, unless you count "spending money on products/services" as losing money.

I guess what I meant is, if you look at the whole pie at a high level, when my portfolio grows, someone else's must be shrinking. We only have a limited bucket of resources on earth and no matter how we slice and dice it if someone owns a bigger piece of the pie someone else is losing.

A Bad King posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3tr634/boyfriend_23_does_not_know_how_to_enjoy_his_money/?sort=confidence

Here's the link, folks. Leon got our jimmies rustled with some fake news details.

I'll go back to my lurking bleachers now.

A Bad King posted:

I love this thread so much more when the commentary is about people being bad with money, not wedding rings and fashion advice.

potatoducks posted:

Fake BWM posts. Super lame. You should know better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5zes9s/we_give_our_5_year_old_son_100_a_week_for_his/ posted:

Like the title says we recently started giving my 5 year old son a hundred bucks a week. On Friday evening we both sit down for 'pay day'. We go over the chores he did (clean room, dishes, back yard cleaning) and talk about work and things he can do to make it easier to accomplish. I then get out $100 in 20's 10's 5's and 1's. I hand it all to him so he can see it, touch it, feel it. I let him know he did a great job this week and he earned every bit of what he's holding. Then it's time for the bills. We carefully go over how much rent, electricity, internet and cable TV cost every month. I also explain what each one of these bills are and how they are necessities in life. I loosely break down the amounts to all equal 85$. Rent being the most costly at $50, electricity $20 and cable and internet at $15. With all of his money spread out on the table I take back the money needed to pay each one of his bills. That leaves him with 15$. I am also teaching him the importance of a savings account of which $5 goes into weekly (mandatory). Like all kids, there's usually some big expensive toy or device that he just has to have and that's the carrot we use to dangle in front of him to get him to want to save instead of just forcing him to. We've only been doing this for 6 weeks, but he has responded terrifically in several different ways. I personally had no help understanding the importance of budgeting growing up and my parents were terrible with their own finances. This screwed me entering adulthood and I wanted to come up with something to give my son a good understanding of how the real world works before he ever stepped foot in it. Wanted to share so others might try this method and also get feedback, thoughts or other things some of you may do to help your kiddos with life lessons. Thanks for reading.

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

...made me as angry as the If You Have Savings In Your 20s You're Retarded article from a few years ago

monster on a stick posted:

Maybe we're running out of people who are BWM


She should also make sure to take out FICA and Medicare so he has nothing left.

monster on a stick posted:

Maybe we're running out of people who are BWM


She should also make sure to take out FICA and Medicare so he has nothing left.

quote:

My (25f) fiance (28m) doesn't want me to spend money on the wedding but he spent over 3,000 on a kilt

So me and dave have been together for three years and engaged for six months and I've started wedding planning but every time I plan something dave gets upset about how much I'm spending even though I'm actually spending very little. I spent under £120 on my wedding dress. My three bridesmaid dresses he didn't want to pay for so I bought a cheap plain dress and customised it myself with crystals, this took a lot of work to make them look the way I wanted. I am making my own wedding cake, the venue is being paid for by my parents, make up artist is a family friend (free) as is hairdresser . I have paid for every item from my own personal account and he has only paid for half of his wedding outfit (kilt) and wants me to pay for the rest. I have covered every expense for favours and decoration and he won't even pay for his own outfit. It's over £3000 for his and I'm expected to pay half, now he has said he wants us to pay for his father's outfit too. I'm not against this but he doesn't understand that I really cut costs on my wedding dress so that we can have more money for our lives together and that's why he says he complained. I have spent less than 1000 on favours, cake decorating equipment, wedding dress, shoes, bag, for me and bridesmaids, invitations and we have venue, singer, hairdresser, nail tech and makeup artist all free ( I have bought them all nice thank you gifts) the last thing to pay for are the rings but they aren't like to be the most expensive thing.

I don't know how to explain to him that I've controlled cost to a huge extent and he rubbed my face in it by being extravagant with his kilt?

I am upset that I couldn't spend much on my dress. But I understand that our financial future is more important than a dress. He does admit that if I had spent this on a dress he would have thought I was crazy

We have separate bank accounts, I earn about the same amount he does but he is self employed, I get paid holidays etc which annoys him.

I have asked him if he really wants to get married but he said definitely yes. I thought he may have been making excuses not to but he assures me it's not that.

Tldr our wedding will cost us (I've paid this) about £1000 without rings but fiance bought £3000 kilt and wants us to buy his father's too! How do I make him understand why I'm upset?

lostleaf posted:

I don't know if I would say she is BWM or BWL. She seems to be imparting some good lessons about income vs expenditure. It's not just what you make but what you spend too.

Bhodi posted:

her implementation is just soul crushing and counter-productive because it gives absolutely no agency to the kid over the expenses, he can't skimp or go without, she just keeps 95% of it with a "sorry honey, the world is a cruel place"

quote:

My husband is upset with me because I asked him to stop asking to borrow money from me. He says I am being abusive.

So, I'm looking for some advice on how to handle the situation I'm currently in with my husband.

I'm going to try to keep this short, but I think a bit of back story may be in order, so, here goes:

I've been with my husband for 6 years total. We have twins together who will be turning 5 this year. We live in a two bedroom house that I inherited when my father died back in 2012. (So, I don't have to worry about paying rent, just property taxes and home owner's insurance.) The house is nice enough and we live comfortably on my income in our current situation. However, it's becoming more and more apparent that we need a larger place. Our kids are getting older and they need their own space. We currently have my husband's drum kit in the living room, and it's just becoming a bit cramped.

Now, I'm still very much in the process of climbing out of the hole that I dug for myself when I was younger. I'm a retail manager and I only make about 25k a year. (I'm really fortunate to make that much. I've only been with the company for two years. I advanced there fairly quickly.) I'm also currently enrolled in the nursing program at the local community college part time. I used to make some extra money by selling accessories, bags, and other things that I've made on etsy... but that money is dwindling because I simply don't have the time for projects that I used to.

My husband is a server at a privately owned restaurant and he makes minumum wage (which is actually nice... most servers make a half wage) plus tips. He works 40 hours a week, so he doesn't really make that much less than I do. However, he doesn't help out with bills at all. The only bill he pays is his own phone bill. I used to think he paid for his own car insurance, but I recently found out that his mom has been paying it for years. He mainly spends his money on pot ( which he says he needs to help his IBS) and junk. He spends very impulsively. I counted his t-shirts the other day while I was doing laundry. He has 78 t-shirts. He buys so many posters, wall flags, tapestries, etc that we have to keep some of them put up in our shed because there is literally no room on the walls for anything else.

He buys toys for the kids, which is nice, but we don't have room for the ones they have. (I have given many of their old toys away, but I feel like it would be more frugal to keep their old toys instead of buying new ones all of the time.) We both switched from smoking to vaping last year. Vaping would be much cheaper, but he is always buying new setup instead of just choosing one he likes and buying juice and coils for it. He always needs a new this or that for his drum kit. He also regularly goes to concerts. He likes underground music, so the shows themselves aren't expensive, but when you add gas to drive out of town, extra pot, drinks at the bar, a meal at a restaurant, and a souvenir t-shirt or two it turns into at least $200 affair each time. There's more but this is getting long.

Now, because he's always spending his money impulsively like this, he usually finds himself broke and needing to pay his phone bill or "car insurance." (I recently deduced that "car insurance" is code for more pot.) So... he asks me for the money and I give it to him. He doesn't ever really pay it all back, and what he does pay back, he ends up borrowing again.

So, as I mentioned, I'd like to move into a larger place. I plan on renting and I'm saving up and hoping to make a comfortable move by January of next year. I had a discussion with him about this. I pointed out that I will need his help paying the bills once we make the move so he might have to cut back on his spending. He agreed and even expressed excitement. He also said that he realizes that he doesn't help out as much as he should and wanted to start giving me some money each week to help with bills. I said that I would be satisfied if he just stopped borrowing money from me for now, but I would really appreciate the help and I figured it would probably help him transition into being able to be totally self sufficient.

Well, a few weeks go by. He buys a new vape setup, stickers for his car, drumsticks, and a concert ticket. Then he came to me and asked if he could borrow some money for his "car insurance" bill. (He doesn't know that I know his mom pays it.) I said no. I reminded him of our conversation and told him that it is very important to me that we work towards that goal together.

He said that I was right and apologized. A day or two more go by. He has run out of pot. He spends a lot of the time that he is home running to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet for long periods of time, groaning. He tells me he doesn't have money for pot because he had to pay his "car insurance" bill and asks if he can please borrow a little money, he will pay me back in a few days and then things will be different. I said no. I suggested that he try to sell some of his vape setups if he needs some extra money right now.

So he starts taking pictures of a few of his setups to post on this vaping Facebook group he's in. Before he posts them he asks me again if I'm sure I can't loan him the money. I said, "No, I can't. Maybe you shouldn't have bought all that stuff if you couldn't afford to. I can't lend you money anymore and I need you to start helping with bills in the next few months. I thought I made that clear."

Well, that's when the poo poo hit the fan, folks.

It's been a few weeks since I said that and he has been emotionally distant and will barely talk to me. We still have sex, but afterwards he goes back to being distant and I find that very upsetting and confusing. When I ask him what's wrong he goes on tirades about how I am being controlling and abusive. He says he understands that he needs to make changes, but that I hurt him by talking to him in a belittling manner. He keeps calling me "self righteous" and telling me that I need to "get off my high horse." He thinks that I think I'm "better than everyone else."

I don't think that at all. Honestly, I'm a little embarrassed of my financial situation and my job. I had much higher aspirations at some point in my life. I got side-tracked. I hosed up. I know I've made a lot of mistakes... but I'm trying to improve my situation for the sake of my family. That's all I'm asking of him. I'm sorry, but I don't see how that's self righteous or condescending. I will concede that I can be a little blunt. I'm not good at sugar-coating things, and I know I have a tendency to hurt people's feelings when I don't mean to. I told him this, and I apologized for possibly being crass. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, after all.

Well, things haven't changed at all and I'm unsure of how to proceed. I'm dreading the next time he asks me for money. I'll want to say no, but I feel like he will continue to resent me if I do. I'm afraid that things won't change and that we will be stuck in this cramped space until I've earned my degree, and that might take a few years. I would like to have another discussion with him to clarify our goals, but I guess I don't know how without hurting his feelings.

Wow, that got quite long. Sorry, guys. Thanks so much if you read all of that. I appreciate your time.

Tl;Dr: I've asked my husband to stop borrowing money from me and help out with the bills. He's withdrawn from me emotionally as a result and I don't know what to do. Need advice on how to talk to him about it without making him feel emasculated.

Bhodi posted:

her implementation is just soul crushing and counter-productive because it gives absolutely no agency to the kid over the expenses, he can't skimp or go without, she just keeps 95% of it with a "sorry honey, the world is a cruel place"

lostleaf posted:

The mom probably is a Fox news watcher who believes that the gubmnt is there to take all our money.

I agree that it's the equivalent of telling a 5 year old there's no santa clause. But a large part of our expenses are not that flexible. She could change it so that he gets 20 dollars a week and takes 5 of it for expenses for a much more true to life lesson.

I still maintain that it's a valuable lesson just taught poorly for a young child.

Bhodi posted:

tbf I really like the mmm thing to give them a 'bank of dad' they can put their money in if they choose, that earns 10% interest a month

BraveUlysses posted:

my dad would drag me and half of all my birthday or christmas money down to the bank and force me to buy a savings bond with it

craigslist posted:

For Sale: 2013 Manitou Oasis 230 w/ Evinrude 115 and Yacht Club Trailer. $29,000

Great boat with very low hours, only little over 55 hours on it. This has been a very good boat to us just time for us to sell to be able to afford new house. Bought brand new from Lake View Marina. Has been very well maintained. Inside stored during winter months. Comes with Custom Cover made for trailering and storing. Also comes with Mooring cover straight from factory.

Following accessories are on this boat:
- Lowrance GPS/Fish Finder
- MP3/Stereo with IPOD/Aux hookup, additional factory installed speakers
- Bimini Top factory installed
- Folding rear seat to make lounger or fold up to create additional seating.
- Lots of storage
- Tilt steering wheel
- Upgraded Captains chair that reclines and moves forward and back for best position to steering column

No issues with this boat, there are a couple cosmetic blemishes where stickers rubbed on trailer cover a little while pulling down road but other than that this boat is perfect!

Willing to make a deal and work with you for a reasonable deal but no trades and no soliciting. Boat is now in storage for winter so will need to make arrangements to view when that time comes.

quote:

My (25f) fiance (28m) doesn't want me to spend money on the wedding but he spent over 3,000 on a kilt

Bhodi posted:

and you seem to collect half-working cars, so that GWM idea clearly worked

sorry, sorry for hitting post history, i'm only kidding

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

Kilts: Not even once.

BraveUlysses posted:

huh? the one in my avatar is a race car so it doesnt need to be 'running' I just drive to/from the race track when i have time & money for it.

but i did use those savings bonds to fix my car in college so i only regretted it when my dad dragged me to the bank.

we already have an official AI post history detective in this thread

quote:

Me [37 M] with my wife [34 F]. She's mad because I want to retire right now and she can't
submitted 4 hours ago by inheriterofstuff
Two years ago my mother passed away and left me an inheritance that turned out to be way more than I expected. I just finished selling her assets and investing the money and I realized that I can retire right now and live from the dividends.
Currently, both me and my wife work and I pay for 65% of our expenses, and we divide housework and other duties 50/50.
Unfortunately, the money is not enough for both to retire, so I offered to do 70% of the housework and cover 70% of expenses so she can have more free time and disposable income.
She's still saying it would be incredibly selfish for me to retire while she still has to work. Am I in the wrong?.
tl;dr: Got inheritance. Want to use it to retire. Wife says it's shellfish.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

I think relationship problem forums are a better source of terrible stories than financial advice forums or /r/personalfinance

I'm going to disagree with the current comments because it doesn't sound like you expect some largess, but rather he's irrationally stingy. Now it's entirely his right to be irrationally stingy with his money, but it's possible that he could be more comfortable if he was not so anxious. Additionally, having a mentality that any money spent on non-essential things is a waste can make one penny wise and pound foolish. For example if one saves a small amount of money but at the cost of larger magnitudes convenience, health, or safety it's a fool's errand.
My recommendation would be to do some math and present cases like the 30 year compound interest return on $3 (the smoothie example) and show how it's going to be negligible when compared to what he invests already.
By the way, how is he contributing 40% of his salary to retirement? If he made $100k his max 401k contribution would be 18% in 2015. He could contribute an additional $5,500 to a Roth IRA, but that is after taxes so assuming that number is $50k (60% of $100k-$18k) that would constitute 11%, for an adjusted total of 29%.
Feel free to correct me on my understanding of retirement contributions, I am a layman.