Margaret White posted:

I believe my daughter, who is 12, is on the way to becoming a pyromaniac.

Stumpy posted:

I have a fetish for amputees and removing limbs. Obviously I do not plan on living this out in real life. I haven't even shared it with any of my partners since I realize it's really bizarre and potentially scary to some people.

But in my dreams, my perfect partner would chop my arms and legs off with a chainsaw and leave me there as a sexual plaything, unable to move or escape.

quote:

I'm not a very hairy guy. I can't grow a beard to save my life, have basically no chest hair, etc. But do you know what I can grow? A forest of pubes. This upsets me and I can't figure out why. What is the purpose of pubic hair, because I can't see any? You look at a (female) body and you have PUBES, and no other body hair is around. This is utterly bizarre and confounds me. I just shaved my pubes and it felt really good. Pubic hair is p gross and needs to evolve away yesterday. Pubic hair supposedly keeps your genitals warm, but I fail too see how that happens. If the hair was centered on the dick, maybe, but when the hair is on the area above your dick, it doesn't do poo poo. Shaving your pubes doesn't make your genitals colder from what I can tell. Speaking of your dick, shaft hair is the worst. I also wish I had a bigger penis.

I really want to transfer my pubic hair growth to facial hair and grow a beard so people will stop making fun of my babyface. But not chest hair, I don't want much of that. Are my genes that weird. And what's up with people with blonde head hair and dark pubic hair? Gingers usually have matching hair color. gently caress Pubes.


PUBES

quote:

I have a small confession that I've never told anyone before.

I lost my virginity to "The Shining". I wonder sometimes if that says anything or predicted anything about my sex life since.

free basket of chips posted:

I lost my virginity to The Help

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Those were a couple thrilling confessions. I can certainly understand why "i have pubes" and "i had sex while watching tv" needed to be revealed anonymously.

loquacius posted:

and I think the other one was just trying to start a conversation about what media everybody lost their virginity to (I think mine was after The Big Lebowski)

SniperWoreConverse posted:

H.H posted:

I lost my virginity to the sound of her muffled screaming.

H.H posted:

I lost my virginity to the sound of her muffled screaming.

limp_cheese posted:

I think German MTV was playing on the TV in the brothel when I lost my virginity. I was absurdly drunk and it was not a fun experience.

free basket of chips posted:

I lost my virginity to The Help

Solice Kirsk posted:

Hope you got a discount. Customer satisfaction is literally a hooker's job.

Solice Kirsk posted:

I lost my virginity to Nine Inch Nail's Pretty Hate Machine.

quote:

My girlfriend is way, way, way out of my league. She's definitely a 10/10 and I'm a pale, out of shape, kind of awkward nerd. But she's told me that I'm the only person she feels she can be herself around, and we've been together for 4 months now. I am falling in love with her and, as noted before, she is BY FAR the most beautiful woman I've ever know, let alone dated.

Because of our different lives, we have two very diverse social circles. My friends and I are content to go drinking once in a blue moon, watch football on Sundays, and grab a dinner together every so often. In contrast, my girlfriend is friends with several "high society" types, including 2 wives of famous local athletes. She (and by extension me) gets invited to big parties, private events at restaurants, etc. I've met several NFL and MLB stars at this point, along with a host of rich movers and shakers.

Here is where the problem comes in. Of my girlfriend's close circle of friends, several have MAJOR drug dependency issues. Her best friend has admitted to doing cocaine every day, and she's done it in front of me at several parties. Including one which was a birthday party for a 3 year old, which was not cool at all. Another friend in the group keeps a plastic baggie with vicodin in her purse at all times. One time she couldn't get comfortable in a stool at a bar and popped 3 vicodin, then said "I'll sit a lot better now".

It is not my place to say anything to these girls, since they aren't hurting anyone else (they have chaffeurs or grab taxis, and I've never seen them offer drugs to anyone else). However, I am very concerned that this kind of behavior is going to rub off on my girlfriend. I've confronted her several times and said I could not date a drug addict. She admitted that "in the past" she has done cocaine and was in to recreational party drugs for a while. But she says she is clean now and I believe her.

But when she's out late on a Wednesday night I worry. I am trying not to be an insecure boyfriend, but it's hard. I know she is at these parties and around these people, and I worry someone will offer her drugs and she'll say yes. The other issue is our work schedule. I work a 9-5 job that's really more like a 9-7 job most nights.

My girlfriend does model work for car dealerships, local commercials, etc. She'll usually have 3-4 days off a week and, during that time, she'll go out with her friends. So she has a lot of free time. Again, I totally trust her, but I have small fears about drugs being involved.

quote:

My wife and I have been happily married for 4 months. Unfortunately, it appears the honeymoon period is over and we are heading towards divorce.

We purchased a house shortly after our wedding rather than going on a honeymoon. We agreed upon this and decided it was a smart long term investment. I requested one thing - one extra bedroom that I could turn in to my "man cave". I collect vampire memorabilia and wanted a room to keep it in. My wife agreed to this - although now I wish I had recorded it or gotten it in writing.

Once we moved in, things were great. We worked hard putting on new coats of paint, fixing some minor things, and making it feel like home. And then I started on my vampire room and things fell apart. I made one major purchase without her consent, and I admitted to her that I screwed up and should have cleared it with her. But it was on ebay and I was running out of time, and a Real Vampire Kit from the 1900s is rare. This was an actually used kit by someone who believed in vampires, and it included stakes, holy water, crucifixes, and a whole host of awesome things. There was an old bible in there that was easily worth the investment alone, but I got the whole kit for only $4000. I proudly set it in the vampire room in a glass case I bought (with permission) at the furniture store.

Then the fights started. I painted the room black with red dripping blood trim. My wife hated it and said it made the house look trashy. Sorry bitch, it's staying.

I built a replica of the coffin in Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula and set it in there as a bed. Wife said it was ugly and smelled bad and brought in bugs. Well yeah, I just used wood from the backyard to save money, of course we need to expect some ants getting in.

I put plaster over the window to prevent any light getting in. Wife said that it was "poorly done" and looked ugly since you could look in the window from outside and see unpainted plaster. I told her I planned to plant a bush outside to cover it up and she said I wasn't thinking.

I built awesome looking torches with real flames, using some of that tiki torch liquid you can buy at Party City. Wife hated it, called it a fire hazard. I explained we would only light the torches when we were in the room but she wouldn't listen to reason.

I just put a blood fountain in there which looks amazing. I just bought a cheapo fountain at home depot, ran some red food dye into water, and boom. There was a slight issue where it sprayed out and stained the carpet, but guess what? It looks goddamn awesome in the vampire room. But my wife complained endlessly about the cost of it, about having an "outdoor" fountain indoors, and about having standing water in a bedroom. I told her it makes no sense to drain it every day - the food coloring costs would be insane. She said that having a fountain running 24/7 would be a big electrical cost and would cause mold. I asked for proof and she just yelled at me.

So yeah, word of advice - get anything your wife says in writing. I am still going to finish the room, she can accept it or she can be out on the street. I've done everything she asked and kept the costs low - the whole room probably has cost me $15,000, and a third of that is the vampire kit.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Your girlfriend is totally still doing drugs, but unless she's also loving other dudes who cares. Ride the ride you have no business being on as long as it will last.

food court bailiff posted:

Vampire fan, I have an actual wooden stake blessed by priests and used to slay three undead abominations, I'd be willing to sell it to you for $500, pm me

Dogbrisket posted:

Vampire room might have been funny but it went several steps too far. 3/10 would not read again.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Your girlfriend is totally still doing drugs, but unless she's also loving other dudes who cares. Ride the ride you have no business being on as long as it will last.

Solice Kirsk posted:

This, but I'll also add that you're both adults and you can't tell her what to do. If her doing some coke is too much for you to handle then end it. Otherwise suck it up and keep loving your perfect 10 you square.

quote:

I have empathy, I feel real bad that you're going to have to bury every one of your degenerate addict friends when the inevitably OD.