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Imperialist Dog posted:And the chabuduo award goes to They're out-britishing the british.
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Mar 24, 2017 14:38
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P-Mack posted:I overheard the electrician at a project I'm working on mutter "chabuduo" to himself and now I'm nervous. Didn't you follow up?
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Mar 24, 2017 15:13
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nickmeister posted:what's the point? Youre required to do this for most banking jobs and apparently there used to be in bank competitions for this that your bonuses were tied to
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Mar 24, 2017 15:28
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loving lol https://tw.news.yahoo.com/%E5%8A%87...-081100502.html 
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Mar 24, 2017 16:29
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 I saw this in another thread and all I could think was "How much Taiwan is China" from the way it's written.
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Mar 24, 2017 16:32
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The Lamest Kanrenao I'm on the train to go meet up with a date, debating if I should just get off the train and tell her I got lost, when we stop and this hobbling guy gets on. He's obviously mentally disabled, and obviously physically disabled, and he's trying his best to move onto the train before the doors close. Judging by his clothes and shoes, he wasn't homeless or dirty. He just looked like a guy that got a bad deal in life. Immediately everyone stops their phone addiction and looks up. Girls start moving out of his way, clutching their purses and bags, and all Chinese eyes are on this poor guy trying to use his shakey hand to hold onto the train pole while his tongue hangs out. He then shuffles to the other car, trying to find a seat. People in that car hadn't seen him yet, and immediately they all back away while some girl screams for no reason. He's trying to make it to one of the seats, and points at one that is filled with a girl (basically saying he wants that seat). I've seen Chinese get up for old people or pregnant women, but nobody wanted to get up for this guy. A large crowd formed and were kanrenao-ing so hard that you get one of those epiphanies and think that if they could put the same amount of effort from this idiotic kanrenao into other things, they could solve so many problems in this country in a short amount of time. Finally, he staggers towards a seat, almost about to fall over due to the train moving, and the girl in the seat jumps up at the last moment. His legs give out and he's on his knees, dragging himself up into the seat, while the people near him are fleeing in terror. The girl that originally had to move stands there and starts berating him while the crowd forms even denser now. She's just whining at him without even pausing to take a breath, most likely about how inconsiderate he is or something. I was on that train for about 10 more minutes she honestly did not let up on the guy with her bitching, so much so that even the onlookers got bored and dispersed. She was like the Micro Machines commercials guy, but directed towards a disabled dude clutching a seat. She was still doing it when I got off the train, and the new people getting on were coming over to watch. It was the loving lamest thing I have seen in China yet. I knew they stared and pointed at disabled people, but this was beyond that. They treated him like a plague rat scurrying about in a toilet. You could see they actually though this must be contagious, hence the running away and screaming. To form an actual gawk circle around a guy that has trouble walking and keeping his tongue in his mouth, holy poo poo.
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Mar 24, 2017 17:20
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but did you hear they're leading the world in green power
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Mar 24, 2017 17:27
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JaucheCharly posted:Didn't you follow up? 太麻煩了 
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Mar 24, 2017 17:41
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P-Mack posted:太麻煩了 對啊!他們都太爛了!
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Mar 24, 2017 18:03
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KERMIT So I went on a date with this girl from Tantan. She was really cute in the photos, but her photos were strictly face shots. I had no idea what the rest of her was like. She wanted to meet me last night, but I was too busy playing Persona 4 and then not playing it because it was super anime and Japanese teen bullshit. Anyway, we talked and she told me she used to be Christian but gave it up because she felt that other gods were just as legit as the one in the Bible. She started talking about religions and got on Hinduism and Buddhism, and was immediately all fire and brimstone about how she hopes those religions have special hells for people that do casual sex. I was LOLing at how much she hated the idea of banging out of wedlock, so I was about ready to quit until she said she likes videogames and started talking about the Playstation 2 being her favorite. I have just been jamming on my PS2 emulator and enjoying some classics, so I told her to come over and play Tekken 5 with me. She immediately agreed, but had to wait until her free day. The next day she said she regretted agreeing to come to my house. She had never met me. What if I just wanted to rape her? What if I was lying about playing games? She couldn't trust a total stranger. I might be a horrible person. How bad am I? What if I was a Chinese pretending to be foreign? That was annoying, but I put on my best Chinese face game and threw it back at her that she just wanted to steal my computer and I really don't know what she looks like and maybe she's a fake account. She demanded I give her my phone number, as if that would prove I am real. I said the truth, that I don't know it, and too bad. She was convinced I was a fake. The next day she asked me to meet face to face and we can prove it. I said no (Persona 4), but tonight I was already on my way by where she lives (very near to me), and decided to just do it and see how bad this could really be. I told her we will buy our teas and food separately, because I said I won't rape her or her wallet. She agreed. I get there and I am waiting at the exit she told me to, and I said I don't see her. I send a voice message and she sends one back. Me: "I don't really look like my photos now (unshaven and haggard since I've been sick), so just look for the white guy." Her: "Look for the fat girl in the dress." Me: "Fat girl?" Her: "Will you leave when you see me?" Me: "Why would I do that? I am here already." Her: "Other guys ran away..." Yep. She had quite a few kilos on me, but said she was much fatter a couple years ago. She was humongous for China, but maybe just "overweight" in North America. She had the big BBW titties to back it up though. Still, it was average-weight white guy with big Chinese girl, and all eyes were absolutely on us everywhere we went. She kept saying she was very ugly, Chinese hate fat people, and feels really uncomfortable in China being a fat person. Her face was very pretty, but she was super conscious about her body and I am sure the locals probably talked about it in earshot everywhere she went. We get to the place and I take out my money to order and she pushes my hand away, saying she will pay for me and I can get anything I want. I asked her if that's how she always orders when she eats somewhere and she said she was on a diet. I LOLd. We were talking and she said she refused every guy on Tantan except me, because of some bullshit I had put in my profile. The other foreign guys she matched with started off with "hey baby" or a dick pic and she immediately unmatched. LOL at being in China and still striking out. She said I was nice and she felt safe and comfortable with me, no rape at all. She said I was like Kermit. Me: "Kermit? Like Kermit the Frog?" Her: "Yes! You are Kermit, so nice and funny. I am Ms. Piggie!" Me: "Come on, no need to sa" Her: "I am a big pig!" We talked videogames and she said she had gotten addicted to World of Warcraft before (I'm utterly shocked!), but now it was just Clash of Clans and Playstation 2 games, which she had learned Japanese so she could play imported games. I realized I was in a the presence of a curvy goonette. I was honored. I touched her shoulder and she turned away, saying she was too shy. I asked when the last time she had sex was. She said several years ago and hasn't dated at all either, and I was the first man she had met since her last serious relationship. She didn't trust foreigners, but she wants to live abroad and leave China forever if she can meet the right guy. I told her I am leaving here in Summer, so don't get her hopes up. She asked if she could still be my video game friend and come over to play, since we live so close. I said sure. She asked if I wanted to walk her back to her apartment, and I agreed and told her it was because she paid for the two separate one-liter jugs of fruit tea I asked for (she said anything I wanted on menu). I didn't know if I was going to score, but I thought the tea would be a good excuse if I wanted to run away (due to peeing). We stood in front of the entrance to her place talking about our divorces and what we want to do later with our time. Her: "I always wanted to have a baby. Do you have any kids?" Me: "Nope. No kids that I know of." Her: "Do you want a baby?" Me: "Ah? Do you mean with you?" Her: "You can." I told her I had to pee, and wanted to pee at the metro station. When I left she immediately sent me a checklist of what kind of women I want to marry, and I said all the options looked bad. She said she was one of the options she had listed, but she knows she's ugly and fat and nobody likes her. Then she demanded I tell her how many women I have been with and I said this is too private for me. She asked again if she can still play video games at my house and I said to come over. She asked if I can cook her a big meal. I told her she was on a diet. She said she can break her rules. I am going to buy a bunch of cake and tell her I always keep cake laying around the house.
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Mar 24, 2017 19:18
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She's going to come over to "play video games." She's going to cook you dinner and then try to bang you, and you will use your bloated stomach/need to poo poo after dinner as the excuse not to bang before reluctantly giving in in the most awkward of ways. I can see the future. Also, do all these people you're dating really believe the whole "I can't have sex because I need to fulfill [bodily function]" excuse or are they just allowing you a face saving retreat? Because it's really hard to believe someone would turn down sex just because they have to pee.
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Mar 24, 2017 19:27
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Haier posted:The Lamest Kanrenao Disability is one of those areas where E-Asia (well, Asia in general) gets very lovely on very fast. Just about the only one remotely decent is Japan and they still have some horror stories there. And sometimes I think they only did that because of all the blind people after the atomic bombings meanwhile, South Korea does this: http://www.independent.ie/world-new...s-30878193.html
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Mar 24, 2017 19:54
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DACK FAYDEN posted:
Somebody doesn't know about the Kuril islands or the Liancourt rocks!
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Mar 24, 2017 22:48
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Cantorsdust posted:Also, do all these people you're dating really believe the whole "I can't have sex because I need to fulfill [bodily function]" excuse or are they just allowing you a face saving retreat? Because it's really hard to believe someone would turn down sex just because they have to pee. Yeah what's the deal with this? Was this explained earlier in the thread?
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Mar 25, 2017 05:24
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Cantorsdust posted:She's going to come over to "play video games." She's going to cook you dinner and then try to bang you, and you will use your bloated stomach/need to poo poo after dinner as the excuse not to bang before reluctantly giving in in the most awkward of ways. I can see the future. I do hope your prediction comes true. I enjoy having idiotic experiences to break the monotony (hence constantly getting into them, like some sort of Mr. Bean with a dating app). Deceitful Penguin posted:So I take it you didn't have a seat to give up then? 1. I get privacy if I am chatting, since everyone will gawk at how totally different my Android is compared to theirs, or try to practice English by reading my screen. 2. I don't have to touch a bunch of filthy people. 3. The actual reason I rarely sit down on public transport - I don't have to waft in clouds of toxic poo poo breath that constantly plague me when being near these people. TCM states that you get fat from drinking too much water, and it is best for health to not have much anyway. The average is about 2-3 cups per day for most people here (even with those who exercise), and the halitosis is so extreme sometimes I want to vomit on the spot. It's sometimes so powerful that 1-2 meter distances don't disperse it. Dead-body Breath is also the main reason why I have dumped many a lady. Everyone complains of chronic headaches, and many times when I have asked people how much water they have had lately, it's like "I had a cup when I woke up (10 hours ago)," or "I drank some yesterday." I was kanrenao-ing the kanrenao. quote:meanwhile, South Korea does this: http://www.independent.ie/world-new...s-30878193.html I remember reading in a book about China that back in the 90s when the Olympic committee came to Beijing to see if it would be able to host the Olympics, they designed a specific path that the cars would take, making sure that there was no way they could see outside what they wanted them to see. They built huge walls on the express roads to block the slums or villages that were there, and everywhere along the way they had police search all the villages to round up any disabled people and make them disappear (forever) because they were worried one might show up and be seen by the committee and they would lose the bid. The only duty a kid has here is to serve his parents and family with money. Having a disabled kid is beyond useless, so might as well just dump them off in the streets and let them die or something, who cares, right? No money from them, anyway.
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Mar 25, 2017 06:03
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The disabled in China seem to me to be treated better than in South Korea, which is saying something. You almost never see disabled people in SK since they're just locked up. At least here I've seen moms taking their adult children with some sort of obvious mental disorder or people in wheelchairs or whatever out and about.
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Mar 25, 2017 06:08
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Haier posted:The only duty a kid has here is to serve his parents and family with money. Having a disabled kid is beyond useless, so might as well just dump them off in the streets and let them die or something, who cares, right? No money from them, anyway. One of my co-workers adopted a twelve year old Chinese girl two years ago. She was born with a double cleft palate and abandoned at age five. She never learned to read and had difficulty speaking due to the cleft palate. She's had a number of surgeries since then though and is adjusting well here. Though they had to keep her away from mobile phones for a while as she kept trying to call her friends back home.
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Mar 25, 2017 06:22
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Experimenting to see if linking to Instagram works https://www.instagram.com/p/BSBQEwUhyYF/
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Mar 25, 2017 07:10
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https://gfycat.com/NippyExcitableHornbill Hole in da road.
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Mar 25, 2017 07:40
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Haier posted:https://gfycat.com/NippyExcitableHornbill Gotta give that second bus driver some credit. My first thought would not be better stop because a hole is gonna appear. Go faster to really make the bus jump!
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Mar 25, 2017 08:07
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GI_Clutch posted:One of my co-workers adopted a twelve year old Chinese girl two years ago. She was born with a double cleft palate and abandoned at age five. She never learned to read and had difficulty speaking due to the cleft palate. She's had a number of surgeries since then though and is adjusting well here. Though they had to keep her away from mobile phones for a while as she kept trying to call her friends back home. Is there something wrong with calling your friends back home?
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Mar 25, 2017 08:09
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BONGHITZ posted:Is there something wrong with calling your friends back home? other than the fact that my brain won't let me imagine what mandarin sounds like with a double clef palate?
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Mar 25, 2017 08:29
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BONGHITZ posted:Is there something wrong with calling your friends back home? International calls can be fucktacularly expensive?
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Mar 25, 2017 08:54
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BONGHITZ posted:Is there something wrong with calling your friends back home? On a mobile phone from the USA to China I imagine you'd quickly rack up charges.
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Mar 25, 2017 09:06
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So it's a fairly nice day in Beijing, especially after two days of cold rain, and I decide to take the opportunity to walk around the campus a bit. Along the way I happen upon a student wearing this:
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Mar 25, 2017 09:33
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It's a combination of religious symbols. Like "Coexist," but with East Asian ignorance and naivete mixed in.
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Mar 25, 2017 10:22
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 What I bought today. Am I reading this right?  2mm thick? Edit: Nevermind, that is the width/girth. I have no idea what the thickness of the condom actually is. The box doesn't say. Haier fucked around with this message at 10:35 on Mar 25, 2017 |
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Mar 25, 2017 10:26
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HilyOLWzrM
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Mar 25, 2017 11:03
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52 mm with a margin of error of 2 mm, so 50 to 54.
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Mar 25, 2017 11:03
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KillingPablo posted:So it's a fairly nice day in Beijing, especially after two days of cold rain, and I decide to take the opportunity to walk around the campus a bit. Along the way I happen upon a student wearing this: Actually this is even weirder than you think. It's the symbol of the Raelians: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ra%C3%ABlism
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Mar 25, 2017 11:19
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Haier posted:Hell yeah they believe it. You could pull the GBS meme of "I'm gay" in the middle of something and they'd believe it. The best I had was she was naked and on top of me, holding my junk, and I said I was very upset because we promised we would only talk to each other. I've passed on doing a lot of things by saying I was sick or had diarrhea (did not have), because it is so common here with everyone that nobody will question it due to Face or normal knowledge that everyone is puking or making GBS threads 90% of the time they eat food outside. I hope you told one of them "suck my drat balls, op" at some point
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Mar 25, 2017 15:19
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ElGroucho posted:I hope you told one of them "suck my drat balls, op" at some point 
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Mar 25, 2017 15:48
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Haier posted:
I thought you brought a big box of rubbers with you so you wouldn't have this issue?
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Mar 25, 2017 16:01
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Is nobody going to mention the 5 cm long condom?
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Mar 25, 2017 16:03
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ElGroucho posted:Is nobody going to mention the 5 cm long condom? You mean "my monster condom for my magnum nong?"
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Mar 25, 2017 16:23
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At least Haier can cure any potential STD just by having some water https://twitter.com/Tsinghua_sem/status/845654744123232256
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Mar 25, 2017 16:37
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Haier posted:But how can I compete? Aint no hover hands there. Good on him.
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Mar 25, 2017 17:11
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Imperialist Dog posted:At least Haier can cure any potential STD just by having some water This report comes from an Imperialist Dog. I do not trust it.
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Mar 25, 2017 17:11
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Haier posted:But how can I compete? Trump for president
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Mar 25, 2017 17:17
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Haier posted:I was standing. I learned a long time ago to never sit down because: Old buddy of mine that was moved to Beijing mentioned the poo poo-breath too and that combined with the smog was why he got one of those high end masks to wear. Haier posted:LMAO, what the gently caress? I like how nobody faces punishment for any of this. They are just going through the motions to make an outrage. Grand Fromage posted:The disabled in China seem to me to be treated better than in South Korea, which is saying something. So if the Red Guards hadn't brutally abused him, the disabled would have it even worse than they already do! What a world we live in BONGHITZ posted:Is there something wrong with calling your friends back home? They should be making new friends and whatnot, goes the thinking. Later, its perfectly fine to reconnect but they should ideally first have gotten a solid base in their new home.
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Mar 25, 2017 17:21
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