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*Loses job at family business when Walmart comes to town*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 16:30 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 01:11 |
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*entire town works at Abrams tank plant for generations* *families pray it stays open at least until the kids graduate* *kids graduate, get a job either: -building them or -riding inside* Toadvine fucked around with this message at 16:52 on Mar 25, 2017 |
# ? Mar 25, 2017 16:49 |
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OctaviusBeaver posted:*Loses job at family business when Walmart comes to town*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 17:08 |
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Winter season: *town grows to about 4500 wrinkled snowbirds living out of fifth wheel trailers for the season* Spring season: *ancient snowbirds pack up and leave reverting the town back to its original population of 150*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 17:10 |
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*the town hardware store is also a small grocery, lunch counter, single pump gas station, and mechanic in the shed around the back*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 17:19 |
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"Hippies use side door"
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 17:21 |
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*sends kids on 2 hour bus ride to the only non-religious school in the county*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 18:18 |
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Y'all gonna go see the barn raising?
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 18:55 |
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*Goes to secret dance parties because the town council banned dancing*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 19:47 |
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*Climbs inside silo to dislodge stuck corn*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 19:58 |
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:I swear to God I'll beat Tray's rear end if I see him at Jesse's this weekend. He's been talking poo poo ever since Clay and him got wasted and got in a fight in the parking lot of the Alibi. Did you see that poo poo? Clay hit him so loving hard man, it was loving crazy. Deanna has a video of it on her phone. This is the most accurate post
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 20:12 |
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Toadvine posted:*Climbs inside silo to dislodge stuck corn* gently caress a few years back NPR had a thing on "walkin down the corn" and it was so drat depressing, like they had interview with some kid who's best friend died doing it and the kid being interviewed almost died when he jumped in to try and save his best friend and like he talked about how after they finally got his dead friend out of the silo after a day or so his body looked like a golf ball cause of allthe little indentations smashed intohis body from being packed under literal tons of corn it was hella sad
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 20:42 |
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*Pa falls into lagoon of antibiotic-laden pig poo poo* *son panics, dives in after him*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 20:45 |
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Hey did you hear about that poo poo that went down with Larry last week? He found out his wife was fooling around with Chucky Pickerton while he was at the grinding wheel expo back July so he blowed that sumbitch up yesterday morning. Yeah, drew up the prints here at work, sent them out to the tool shop with a PO... yeah, yeah that rear end in a top hat got both of his bombs built on the company's time and our materials. Anyways, he put it under Charlie's car and left a radio to set it off on the side of the road in front of Chuck's momma's house to make sure she'd see it... Soon as they found the part numbers stamped on what was left sheriff went out there and handcuffed everybody in the drat toolroom for five hours til they could figure out what was goin on... I know it, drat government cost us almost 70k in downtime. And they found the other bomb on top of the hardware store where Staci worked before it went up... yeah I know your boy's been working there part time abd thank the lord he's okay but yknow it just don't seem right that slut getting to go home without a care in the world after she got our best engineer in jail and the only chainsaw repairman around here that was worth a drat dead. *This is a true story
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 20:45 |
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*amish shaving another amish's beard off as some religious crime repentance or something makes the local t.v. news*
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 21:16 |
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Yorkshire Pudding posted:Bill said they're gonna rent out the VFW for Patty and his 25th anniversary, you wanna go? They got $2 longnecks. Could be fun. Yorkshire Pudding posted:I swear to God I'll beat Tray's rear end if I see him at Jesse's this weekend. He's been talking poo poo ever since Clay and him got wasted and got in a fight in the parking lot of the Alibi. Did you see that poo poo? Clay hit him so loving hard man, it was loving crazy. Deanna has a video of it on her phone. Yorkshire Pudding posted:I don't think he's trying to take away or guns or anything like that, I just think he's gonna regulate the industry so much that we can hardly afford ammo. I mean look at the price of ammo, I can't ever remember it being so high. What goods a gun without ammo, you know. It'd be the smart way to do it, if he were going to. I'd just rather be safe than sorry. Yorkshire Pudding posted:You goin' out to Mikey's bonfire tonight? It was pretty sweet last time, his cousin's out of jail and bought a bunch of rum. I think they're going to make jungle juice this time too. Last time Pam got wasted and spilt Natty Light all over her shirt and spent like two hours in just her bra, it was loving awesome. Yeah as long as those faggots from Fort Marshall High don't show up again. We'll beat their rear end if they do. Yorkshire Pudding posted:So, it's in the weekly ad isn't it? Then what's it matter if I don't have the coupons with me? if it's in the ad then you should just scan it at that price. Do you know how long I've been shopping here? I've come to this store twice a week for thirty years. I knew Rick Marshall, he was the manager of this place when it opened. His father and my father played baseball together at the JuCo, I know him. Let me talk to your manager. Where's Kevin, is Kevin here? He'll give me the discount if I talk to him, he's such a sweetheart. This is why people go to Wal-Mart you know, it's cheaper and they don't fret this kind of stuff. This place used to be all about customer service, that's why you're losing customers now. You know what? Nevermind, just put it back. Just put it back on the shelf. I don't want it. I spent 20 years in a town of 2000 people. All of Yorkshire Pudding's posts are 100% accurate.
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 21:29 |
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Has sex with spouse's sibling when spouse is out of town.
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 21:31 |
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"Well, your uncle and I were kind of drunk, and we were driving around in my first '57 Chevy. The cream and red one. What do you mean, 'What kind of Chevy?' Corvettes are all I've owned from them. Anyway we driving and drinking - which, by the way, you ever do that and I won't bail you out - and this was, I think 74? I was on night shift by then, anyway. So it was about 6 AM. We're out where 350 West meets 200 North and there are those train tracks, you know? Right even with the road. So I stopped and backed and filled until I was on the track, your uncle egging me on, and then I just took off. Probably going g 40, 45. We made it a couple hundred feet, then the front wheels went off one way, the back wheels went off another way. Car was stuck. So we grabbed the beer and walked backed to (Uncle's) place. Finished the beer, I passed out. I got up the next day, went to work, and when I can out the side entrance, there was my car! Sitting in the tow lot where the Credit Union is now. I had a spare key in my wallet, so I jumped in, turned it on, and got the hell out of there. Later I found out a train came along those tracks, and managed to stop without hitting the car. The conductor then went up to the houses in front of the track, you know how those tracks are in the backyards of that row of houses? He went up and was like 'is this your car?' It wasn't any of theirs, of course, so the train waited while the tow company came and got the car. They towed it to that lot, lucky for me." "When I was about 15, I was in Brad Trout's convertible with George Cooper & a guy we called Red, cause of his hair. Don't rightly know his real name. He worked at the foundry with me for years. So did George. Brad died in Vietnam, remember, you got me an etching of his name from the wall when you went there on a field trip? Anyway it was the four of us, sunny day, top down, and Brad was showing off. Suddenly the rode turnt from asphalt to gravel, and I see Brand yanking on the wheel from my seat behind him. Then we were in the air, then we were upside down, then I was in a ditch and the car was rolling off away from the road. Crazy poo poo. Brad was finex he'd bailed out before I fell out. We found Red tucked in under the backseat, had to lift the car a bit so he could crawl out. George? We found George just wandering around, in the woods on the otherside of the field. Someone called the police, and an ambulance showed up. The other three were in back, I was up front with the ambulance guys. I must have been in shock because I kept reaching out and poking the button that made the siren go off, and the driver kept telling me to knock it off. I didn't, I pushed that button all the way to the hospital." "When we were growing up, some of the older boys would stick blankets and tarps in the drainage ditch at the bottom of that real steep hill that meets another hill, that little valley. It would fill with water, cars would come through, hit the water, and their engines would die. We would then helpfully offer to push them out for a small fee. We were all dirt poor, every one of us lived in one of a few a tiny cabins, gotta remember that. We had to earn money somehow. Anyway, one time this old boy with a 1940 (make, model, can't remember) truck came down, and hit the water. We appeared, offered help, and then realized the back of his truck was full of chickens. In cages. One of them was pecking Alex's hand the whole time. We get near the top, he just reaches out and wrings its neck. The old man jumped out and commenced to hollering about his chicken, so we let go of the car and moved off to the side. The car was I neutral, so it started rolling backwards. It picked up a fair amount of speed before it hit that water." -chuckles- We'd only push him out if he agreed to pay us the original price and not make a fuss over the chicken." "One time your uncle came home, told Mom he was going to a basketball game. She told him he wasn't allowed. He started arguing, and she just up and broke a big plate over his head!" "I was quality control, my last 11 years at Chrysler. That meant we sat in the break room playing cards, and once an hour we'd go watch parts go by." (I suggest such things contributed to the issues with the Americam big auto parts plants may have been somewhat causes by stuff like that) "Hey, we had a UNION. Blah blah American made cars are still the best blah" "There was a one-legged guy down at the foundry, we called him poo poo on a Stick." Those are all.my dad. Who says "warsh" now just to aggravate me, but used to say it uniorically. "That loving bitch, I'll kick her rear end, messing with my man. I will beat her rear end. There she is! Hey! Hey Amanda! Come here!" -Amanda books it - "Come back here! I just want to talk!" -Amanda and other girl agree to meet after school at a parking lot. 50 people show up. They work out their differences without coming to blows, and people are disappointed- -random loving person I may not even know comes up to me- "Hey, there's a rumor going around school that you're pregnant/on meth/blew a guy for McDonalds/have had five abortions." -this continues long past mybhigh school graduation-
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 22:05 |
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:"Well, your uncle and I were kind of drunk, and we were driving around in my first '57 Chevy. The cream and red one. What do you mean, 'What kind of Chevy?' Corvettes are all I've owned from them.
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 22:15 |
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http://millington-arbela-historical-society.webs.com/
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 22:17 |
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Next time on.... Tobacco Road
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 22:40 |
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*Lives in suburb 20 minutes outside of city of 750K people* *buys 75k King Rancher Leather Interior Ford F550 with Satellite Radio, GPS, Smartphone Docking, only drives into city for work at UPS Call Center* *Prays for 8 minutes alone from fat nagging wife so he can jerk it it stepdaughter porn in peace* "What Hillary and all you coastal elites will never understand is how rural America values hard work and family, values you city slickers will never understand".
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# ? Mar 25, 2017 22:57 |
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Meh nevermind
LSD CURES JUNKIES fucked around with this message at 09:13 on Mar 26, 2017 |
# ? Mar 25, 2017 23:26 |
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*Builds hoard of 10,000+ stolen guns over decades buying them from tweekers *House is searched persuant to another case by town police who fail to notice they are tripping over literally thousands of guns *months later is picked up by sheriffs dept on traffic warrant, deputy notices a gun which had been stolen from him *so many guns are taken into evidence that they had to get the jail work gang to help load them into the 18 wheeler *becomes national headline *meanwhile an enormous scandal erupts when the town police chief is forced to resign while being investigated by state-level authorities for reasons unknown which turn out to be telling his officers they didn't see the pile of stolen guns *brother is pitted against brother in the kind of high intensity battle that only low stakes local politics and academic turf wars can incite *gun hoarder eventually pleads guilty to 12 felonies, is sentenced to time already served.
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:00 |
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shame on an IGA posted:Hey did you hear about that poo poo that went down with Larry last week? He found out his wife was fooling around with Chucky Pickerton while he was at the grinding wheel expo back July so he blowed that sumbitch up yesterday morning. Yeah, drew up the prints here at work, sent them out to the tool shop with a PO... yeah, yeah that rear end in a top hat got both of his bombs built on the company's time and our materials. Anyways, he put it under Charlie's car and left a radio to set it off on the side of the road in front of Chuck's momma's house to make sure she'd see it... Soon as they found the part numbers stamped on what was left sheriff went out there and handcuffed everybody in the drat toolroom for five hours til they could figure out what was goin on... I know it, drat government cost us almost 70k in downtime. And they found the other bomb on top of the hardware store where Staci worked before it went up... yeah I know your boy's been working there part time abd thank the lord he's okay but yknow it just don't seem right that slut getting to go home without a care in the world after she got our best engineer in jail and the only chainsaw repairman around here that was worth a drat dead. I want to read about this story
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:13 |
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this is all I can find 1998 was before google news but gl on your search for more it'd make a good dateline or something http://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-4th-circuit/1146359.html Thread content: There is a chain of video rental stores near here that not only exists but is expanding, in 2017
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:26 |
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Oh poo poo ground beef is on sale at IGA thanks for reminding me.
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:30 |
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shame on an IGA posted:*Builds hoard of 10,000+ stolen guns over decades buying them from tweekers Stop stalking my dead grandpa
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:45 |
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This dude is alive, he just got out last month. https://www.google.com/amp/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/pageland-south-carolina-thousands-of-guns-seized-from-home-warehouse/ http://www.wsoctv.com/news/local/man-with-thousands-of-hoarded-guns-wont-go-to-prison/498777745 E: JFC did not see the part where he will recieve all proceeds from the police auctioning off his stash until now
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 00:59 |
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"Who wants to go muddin'?"
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:25 |
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"Who wants to go plinkin'?"
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:25 |
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"Who wants to drive by the titty bar and shoot the guys standing outside with paintball guns?"
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:25 |
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*The post office is located inside the bait shop*
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:31 |
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"Who wants to drive by the titty bar and post all the sinners' tag numbers on the church blog?" e: seriouspost my county seat has a business operated out of a doublewide which is a triple play combo bait shop, tanning salon and computer repair business also the local gym has an unironic Swole Christ mural shame on an IGA fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Mar 26, 2017 |
# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:31 |
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*watches knife show on the dish* But not for the reasons normal people would *unironically orders the dale jr 4ever memorial katana set with 3 featured katanas and also the deer skinner* Again, not for the funny 'look at this dumb poo poo I got while drunk at 3 am last saturday' normal reasons.
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:47 |
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Billy Big Mouth Bass is still funny
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 01:51 |
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Nooner posted:gently caress a few years back NPR had a thing on "walkin down the corn" and it was so drat depressing, like they had interview with some kid who's best friend died doing it and the kid being interviewed almost died when he jumped in to try and save his best friend and like he talked about how after they finally got his dead friend out of the silo after a day or so his body looked like a golf ball cause of allthe little indentations smashed intohis body from being packed under literal tons of corn it was hella sad lol i remember that segment after it kills midwestern people the corn gets sent to mexico lol
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 02:47 |
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Remember when packaging shut down a few years ago? They sold out to a bunch a drat yankees that was a offshoot from the can plant they know cans but they didn't know poo poo about bottles and wouldn't listen to anybody thats been doing bottles for thirty years and run it right in the drat ground cost everybody been there 25 years a bunch of jobs
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 03:42 |
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Behind Dr Hodges old house? that side end of the road was okay it was around the airbag plant and all next to the creek where they tested positive. *I'm liveposting from the bar
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 03:50 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 01:11 |
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his momma and his two brothers they got a boatload of money from the settlement for that water its not being greedy you don't know what kind of problems they're gonna have from that water. Remember that ashcraft girl that got killed? what was her name devin, the girl that lived in my house that got killed? DeWayne is her stepdaddy
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# ? Mar 26, 2017 03:54 |