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Ein cooler Typ posted:what else do you expect them to do? it's too dangerous to try to put out the fire yourself if you're not trained I mean I was there watching to, and then the police told us to back up because the silo might explode, and then we did, and then it did explode and we just hung out in the adjacent park watching it burn for a bit.
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Mar 28, 2017 21:24
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Ein cooler Typ posted:what else do you expect them to do? it's too dangerous to try to put out the fire yourself if you're not trained Don't grain silo fires have a tendency to violently explode, too? e: yep https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dust_explosion e2: 
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Mar 28, 2017 21:24
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WithoutTheFezOn posted:Surprised I haven't seen this one yet: My former next door neighbor no poo poo got 4 DUIs on garden equipment in 9 months
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Mar 28, 2017 21:26
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shame on an IGA posted:My former next door neighbor no poo poo got 4 DUIs on garden equipment in 9 months https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM48uF35ms
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Mar 28, 2017 21:30
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Like it or not small-town farmers are being dragged into the digital age: Desperate John Deere tractor owners are downloading illegal Ukrainian firmware hacks to get the crops in tl:dr: John Deere made it so if you replace a part on one of their tractors you have to pay one of their people to come to you and plug a thumbdrive into your tractor's USB port to "authorize" the part you just swapped in e: welcome to the darknet, are you looking for drugs, stolen credit cards, or farm equipment firmware updates, we got it all!!!
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Mar 28, 2017 21:33
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*is renting out a fifth wheel that was sunk into concrete and hooked up to power/water* *using Wi-Fi antenna to steal library internet while not in library* *spends weekend drinking beer in boxers while watching scizho old lady in trailor across the way rant at her potted plants*
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Mar 28, 2017 21:37
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Why wait for a fire when you can entertain your friends and free yourself from the tyrrany of existence for the low low price of one hammer https://youtu.be/KVCn7qFvcZo https://youtu.be/kn5bNDI1FGs https://youtu.be/EzKvwYt3Zyg https://youtu.be/XHC8GFWpchA https://youtu.be/e45jivkXNLM https://youtu.be/iG8hHTCaHjI https://youtu.be/sdv_HjuCtiM
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Mar 28, 2017 21:38
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I had a bit of a small-town moment when the guy who moved in next door last week asked me if he could pay me to just piggyback on my wi-fi. I politely declined as that seems like a very easy way to get arrested and blamed for whatever hosed-up poo poo he browses OTOH the possibilities for fun pranks seemed endless but 
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Mar 28, 2017 21:39
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Lmao
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Mar 28, 2017 21:45
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Have you read this? It's so gosh-darn fun!
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Mar 28, 2017 22:08
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Pththya-lyi posted:Have you read this? It's so gosh-darn fun! No, what happens in Murder Past Due
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Mar 28, 2017 22:16
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Hector Beerlioz posted:No, what happens in Murder Past Due There are a TON of mystery novels about small-town amateur detectives (think Murder, She Wrote); often they have pet cats and/or a cutesy job or hobby. These books are catnip for middle-aged and elderly women: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cozy_mystery
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Mar 28, 2017 22:31
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Jumps off roof of tallest building in town sprains ankle
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Mar 28, 2017 22:32
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I really wish Bobby would spray paint that he loves me on the bridge.
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Mar 28, 2017 23:37
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*Spends Christmas Eve at the Wal-mart, hanging out in the parking lot, drinking on the hood of my car*
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Mar 28, 2017 23:38
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Kelp Me! posted:It's slightly scary that you know this, I didn't realize that poo poo was specific to this area. Or do you live here too? Did some environmental work on that golf course and was in the loop on the redevelopment battles which gave it away. Bergen county does have a creepy, insular vibe to it too though.
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Mar 28, 2017 23:54
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marsisol posted:Did some environmental work on that golf course and was in the loop on the redevelopment battles which gave it away. ha awesome, is the ground really as toxic as they say? They're tearing up the trees and poo poo now lol, I have to drive by there to get to work and it's going to be really annoying when there are an additional 100+ fancy cars coming in and out every day. e: it's a pretty diverse county overall, but yeah the richer parts are definitely very insular and Trump-voter-ish.
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Mar 29, 2017 00:03
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*Spends all day at various yard sales and buys a couple of shirts for 25c.
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Mar 29, 2017 00:44
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*watches the volunteer fire department respond to the fourth grassfire started by drunk yahoos at the outdoor firing range this month*
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Mar 29, 2017 01:09
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How are we defining small? Less than 20k?
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Mar 29, 2017 01:12
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Oyak posted:**votes for zoning board officials who promise to preserve open space** 
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Mar 29, 2017 01:15
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JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:How are we defining small? Less than 20k? depends on where it is, really
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Mar 29, 2017 01:26
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Haverchuck posted:chinese place opens and fails in 3 months. pizza place opens and fails in 3 months. bbq place opens and fails in 3 months. cracker barrel by the highway onramp is slammed every single day This is sad and true. Some of the best meals I've ever had in my life were at small local eats in small towns. When I pass through the town again, there is always an available or for rent sign where the restaurant once was
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Mar 29, 2017 01:27
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Kelp Me! posted:Like it or not small-town farmers are being dragged into the digital age: Desperate John Deere tractor owners are downloading illegal Ukrainian firmware hacks to get the crops in Oh my god thank you so much for this post holy poo poo I'm gonna make so much fuckin money.
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Mar 29, 2017 01:42
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*Becomes a foster parent to various native American children that were removed from their homes on the nearby reservation* *Uses money to fill house with crap purchased off QVC* *Children live a spartan existence, none are potty trained or have verbal skills due to massive neglect*
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Mar 29, 2017 01:44
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Pththya-lyi posted:There are a TON of mystery novels about small-town amateur detectives (think Murder, She Wrote); often they have pet cats and/or a cutesy job or hobby. These books are catnip for middle-aged and elderly women: Is Miss Marple a Cozy? Edit: NVM I read the wikipedia article and it even has it as an example.
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Mar 29, 2017 01:53
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*is late for school because there was a combine driving on the highway and no place to pass* *half the grade is wearing camo today because it's hunting season* *first day of hunting season is considered an acceptable excuse to miss school, for students and teachers* JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:How are we defining small? Less than 20k? I think it really depends on your perspective. I grew up in a town of 2300, so a town of 20,000 would not be small to me. But then someone from a town of 200 could say the same about me.
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Mar 29, 2017 01:56
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Within the general guideline of "Too small for parking garages to exist" the subcategories of "too small for walmart" and "too small for Dollar General" are just progressively lower circles of hell
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Mar 29, 2017 02:06
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shame on an IGA posted:Within the general guideline of "Too small for parking garages to exist" the subcategories of "too small for walmart" and "too small for Dollar General" are just progressively lower circles of hell Does it count if the big scandal in my town is whether or not to build a parking garage in the commercial part, and it's been debated for several years now?
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Mar 29, 2017 02:25
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:Won't lie, this sounds fun. Git in the truck
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Mar 29, 2017 02:44
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Finally in TYOOL of 2017 I can legally buy beer on Sunday. Trump's president and I can buy a sixer of Bud Light at the grocery outlet three blocks from my house ALL SEVEN DAYS OF THE WEEK.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:30
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gently caress you and your county option we only just got to stop having the Jesus Rope at walmart before 1:30 last year. For the uninitiated, it's grudgingly okay to go grocery shopping on sunday morning but God and the state both say its a crime to buy pants before church lets out.
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Mar 29, 2017 03:41
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Moon Slayer posted:
If you live in tobacco country, the entire school system shuts down for a week or two while kids and teachers both work the fields. Pays pretty well too.
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Mar 29, 2017 04:13
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Your kid does something incredibly stupid one night, and it's all over town by morning. Yes, this really happens.
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Mar 29, 2017 04:46
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*dies in a house fire after passing out with a lit cigarette *dies in a hunting accident *dies getting shot by the police after walking around town pointing a gun at houses *dies drunk driving and gets a whole page in the yearbook A death in a small town is a big loving deal and everybody knows who died and how they died within 24 hours.
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Mar 29, 2017 04:58
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*Adopts a noticeably thicker accent when visiting friends and family back home. *Exists in a liminal space between city and small town values.
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Mar 29, 2017 05:01
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*dies falling off cliff that I throw raccoons off after I live trap them on my property* (this was the talk of a small town I visited recently)
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Mar 29, 2017 05:54
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Most small towns in America suffer from the same kinds of blight like stores closing and/or meth cooking but there are some that are weird anomalies, like mine. There are fewer than 100 people that live here, it's more like a village or hamlet, but the few dozen homes are kept up and neat and the handful of businesses are well-maintained. I think it's mainly because the people who live here are farmers but their homes are not sited on their actual farms, but instead clustered around this spot on the road where the non-farm businesses are. and every single road sign is riddled with bullet/buckshot holes
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Mar 29, 2017 06:43
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DamnCanadian posted:Your kid does something incredibly stupid one night, and it's all over town by morning. My mom used to say that the most terrifying thing in the world for her was when someone at the grocery store or post office or wherever would come up to her and ask "aren't you [my name]'s mother?" 75% of the time it was completely innocuous, but sometimes it was indeed because my friends and I had done something incredibly stupid the night before.
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Mar 29, 2017 07:06
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*is a coal miner* *votes trump* *gets owned* *dies*
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Mar 29, 2017 07:07
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