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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Confused Indian Men Posting On Facebook Porn Groups Megathread

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

good work

# ? Apr 7, 2017 07:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 22:55

Prokhor Zakharov: Dec 31, 2008; This is me as I make another great post

Good luck with your depression!

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

good work

her farts so hot 4 asss i fakuc yes

# ? Apr 7, 2017 07:42

fish and chips and dip: Feb 17, 2010

My wife wants us to go to India together. I'm not sure it's such a good idea anymore, she's east Asian.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 10:28

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

fish and chips and dip posted:

My wife wants us to go to India together. I'm not sure it's such a good idea anymore, she's east Asian.

Does she have plumpy holes huh ?

# ? Apr 7, 2017 10:35

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

JaucheCharly posted:

Post your favourite dal recipe.

Dal makhani is my favorite.
LOL, just LOL if you don't supplement the daily diet of Chinese food with dal so you don't get flaccid-muscled local body.
I cook simple dal about 4-5 days per week because strictly Chinese food lacks everything that a person might require to feel and be healthy. The Fiveheads here are definitely not due to genetics.

Here's a photo from my lunch/dinner dal yesterday:

I cook 200gms of split red/pink lentils at a time when I make it, because that's about 50gms of protein. I prefer the pink/red because they are ready to eat in 10-15 minutes if making them bare as possible. Add spices, maybe doufu, whatever. In this photo I added buckwheat noodles chopped up instead of using white rice for khichdi or dal over rice. They get soft and it makes eating and digesting easier than the rice-bloat, plus they have protein of their own and taste like something, unlike rice. A lot of the rice in China makes me feel like I am going to pop after eating. Maybe it's plastic.
I didn't want add vegetables to this dal for what was already about 350gms of food by weight, pre-cooked. Using the food calculator it comes out to about 70+gm of protein and high levels of minerals and vitamins Throwing a bunch of vegetables in there (tomato, potato, cabbage cauliflower, eggplant,, carrot, bell peppers, pumpkin, whole onion, white gourd, etc) and let it all boil down for 40 minutes is legit. I don't cook with oil because it's easier to digest. When people come over, then I make a hefty vegetable dal with peanuts and oil and stuff, and dump it over rice and have some spicy side additions. All done with one pot, and under an hour. Dal is easy as heck and probably impossible to ruin.
http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/legumes-and-legume-products/4405/2

One benefit is it looks the same going out as it does going in.

Gay Weed Dad posted:

Perhaps Haier or one of the other goons who have been to India can confirm/deny:
I had a friend who was the naturalist type who went through a Neem fixation; he would boast up and down about its "amazing cure all" abiities (it is apparently antiseptic, antifungal, and antipyretic) and how it completely absolved the need for the typical variety of hygiene products. While this dude didn't smell like BO, he absolutely reeked of Neem 24/7 so it was only slightly better. Neem is very popular outside of the Western world so it makes me wonder if there is simply an over-reliance on Neem?

People use neem for a lot of things. From what I have seen in villages, people chewing and "brushing" with a fresh neem twig (with the bark peeled off) have teeth that are white and cavity free. It could also be diet, who knows. I used neem oil for a foot itching problem and it made it go away. I don't really believe it is a magic cure-all, but fried neem leaves are loving amazing on the side of food.

fish and chips and dip posted:

My wife wants us to go to India together. I'm not sure it's such a good idea anymore, she's east Asian.

There are shitloads of Chinese tourists going there now, and I know many that have gone. Many people that get into yoga will go just to see it or take lessons, and there are a lot of Hindu-convert Chinese popping up. I even had dates with a Chinese girl I met there while in India. She practically poo poo herself when I touched her shoulder, and she dumped me the next day (not poo poo herself because of diarrhea, and didn't actually dump on me).

Haier fucked around with this message at 12:05 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 11:57

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

DAL TIME

Spices I use: brown mustard seeds to temper some oil before I add the onions and garlic, then once those are soft I add coriander, cumin, turmeric and a bit of paprika before I add red lentils and water. Sometimes throw some curry leaves in for good measure.

Adding some fried onion sambol at the end gives dal some nice extra umami, and adding some coconut milk at the end gives it a nice creaminess.

Also don't mash the lentils. :colbert:

:colbert:

# ? Apr 7, 2017 12:55

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

I was so hungry for dal yesterday that I needed to improvise.

Cooked what must have been 2 cups red lentils in water until they opened up, put the pot aside. Chopped up a red onion, slowly fried it in oil and butter until it was golden, added 2 tbsp ginger and garlic paste, 1/2 tsp turmeric, 1/2 tsp koriander powder, 1 tbsp garam massala to fry until it smelled right, then dumped the lentils in, added a diced large carrot, celery, diced red pepper and let it simmer for 30mins. Shorty before it was done, I cut a scallion and a green chilli to small pieces and dumped it in. Sadly no tamarind pulp around, but it was still pretty good.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 13:35

Cyril Sneer: Aug 8, 2004; Life would be simple in the forest except for Cyril Sneer. And his life would be simple except for The Raccoons.

I've read all 45 pages of this thread and its the best thing these dead gay forums have produced in a long time.

Super bowl to all of you.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 13:41

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Haier posted:

Dal makhani is my favorite.
LOL, just LOL if you don't supplement the daily diet of Chinese food with dal so you don't get flaccid-muscled local body.
I cook simple dal about 4-5 days per week because strictly Chinese food lacks everything that a person might require to feel and be healthy. The Fiveheads here are definitely not due to genetics.

Here's a photo from my lunch/dinner dal yesterday:

I cook 200gms of split red/pink lentils at a time when I make it, because that's about 50gms of protein. I prefer the pink/red because they are ready to eat in 10-15 minutes if making them bare as possible. Add spices, maybe doufu, whatever. In this photo I added buckwheat noodles chopped up instead of using white rice for khichdi or dal over rice. They get soft and it makes eating and digesting easier than the rice-bloat, plus they have protein of their own and taste like something, unlike rice. A lot of the rice in China makes me feel like I am going to pop after eating. Maybe it's plastic.
I didn't want add vegetables to this dal for what was already about 350gms of food by weight, pre-cooked. Using the food calculator it comes out to about 70+gm of protein and high levels of minerals and vitamins Throwing a bunch of vegetables in there (tomato, potato, cabbage cauliflower, eggplant,, carrot, bell peppers, pumpkin, whole onion, white gourd, etc) and let it all boil down for 40 minutes is legit. I don't cook with oil because it's easier to digest. When people come over, then I make a hefty vegetable dal with peanuts and oil and stuff, and dump it over rice and have some spicy side additions. All done with one pot, and under an hour. Dal is easy as heck and probably impossible to ruin.
http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/legumes-and-legume-products/4405/2

One benefit is it looks the same going out as it does going in.

People use neem for a lot of things. From what I have seen in villages, people chewing and "brushing" with a fresh neem twig (with the bark peeled off) have teeth that are white and cavity free. It could also be diet, who knows. I used neem oil for a foot itching problem and it made it go away. I don't really believe it is a magic cure-all, but fried neem leaves are loving amazing on the side of food.

There are shitloads of Chinese tourists going there now, and I know many that have gone. Many people that get into yoga will go just to see it or take lessons, and there are a lot of Hindu-convert Chinese popping up. I even had dates with a Chinese girl I met there while in India. She practically poo poo herself when I touched her shoulder, and she dumped me the next day (not poo poo herself because of diarrhea, and didn't actually dump on me).

I actually really enjoyed this post, but Lol @ bean link

# ? Apr 7, 2017 14:00

Explosive Tampons: Jul 9, 2014; Your days are gone!!!

Haier posted:

]
(not poo poo herself because of diarrhea, and didn't actually dump on me).

disappointing

# ? Apr 7, 2017 16:01

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

If you like Indian food, I would recommend Persian cuisine. They are fairly closely related to one another. (much like Iranians and Indians can be, but don't tell them)

# ? Apr 7, 2017 18:38

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

# ? Apr 7, 2017 20:59

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Does virginity mean something else in India or did he just pop her black cherry

# ? Apr 7, 2017 21:01

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I think it's just all confusing

:nws:

http://i.imgur.com/GNOiML9.jpg :nws:

:nws:

Palpek fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Apr 7, 2017

# ? Apr 7, 2017 21:27

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Palpek posted:

I think it's just all confusing

This vendor dude might want to re-calibrate his stream of consciousness

# ? Apr 7, 2017 21:34

Blue On Blue: Nov 14, 2012

ElGroucho posted:

I can never tell if something Indian is going to be good or bad on youtube, because 3 billion Indians are guaranteed to upvote every goddamn thing.

They're like Filipinos with numerical advantage.

br br br br br

# ? Apr 8, 2017 05:02

whiter than a Wilco show: Mar 30, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

ElGroucho posted:

This vendor dude might want to re-calibrate his stream of consciousness

All plumpy holes are gray in the dark.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 05:05

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

THE 'DAHG GON GIVE IT TO YOU PAGE 46

# ? Apr 8, 2017 05:29

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Palpek posted:

I think it's just all confusing

http://i.imgur.com/GNOiML9.jpg

What? When you see mustached men sucking on ice cream pops you don't immediately think of hot naked women sucking on you?

Does that mean he could watch gay porn and be fine with it if he could imagine the gay guys to be women? Two women 69ing their own dicks.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 05:36

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

ElGroucho posted:

This vendor dude might want to re-calibrate his stream of consciousness

We know they seem to have an understanding of sex similar to a Western boy who is undergoing puberty.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 05:39

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

An example of love jihad ends in murder

http://m.hindustantimes.com/india-n...mngaMpIhNI.html

quote:

By Sanjoy Dey, Hindustan Times, Ranchi

Villagers in Jharkhand’s Gumla district allegedly tied a 20-year-old Muslim man to a tree and thrashed him for hours for being in love with a Hindu woman, leading to his death, police said on Friday.

The man – identified as Mohammad Shalik, a resident of Raza Colony in Gumla town – was allegedly in a relationship with a Hindu woman of a nearby village, Soso, for more than a year, sources said.

The girl allegedly called the boy to meet her at Gumla town for the Ram Navami procession on Wednesday. Fearing trouble, Shakil initially refused but finally went to meet her on a scooty and dropped her home, police said.

It is then that a group of neighbours saw Shalik and surrounded him, tied him to a tree and assaulted him for hours, the woman was quoted as saying by police. He succumbed to his injuries on Thursday.

Police said they arrested three people and lodged an FIR against unnamed people. “Though investigation is on, we were told by the villagers that the boy had been asked earlier not to meet the girl and never visit the village,” said Gumla superintendent of police Chandan Kumar Jha.

The incident comes amid rising communal tensions in the state following a slew of controversial initiatives in neighbouring Uttar Pradesh. Activists have cried foul against Jharkhand’s decision to create anti-romeo squads and seal illegal slaughterhouses, saying that the moves unfairly targeted the Muslim community.

Earlier this week, a Muslim man was lynched by a group of alleged cow protection vigilantes in Rajasthan’s Alwar when he was transporting cattle. A group of men also forced a couple to shave their heads in Uttar Pradesh, one of a similar string of alleged moral policing incidents.

Shalik’s murder triggered tensions in Gumla town but police thwarted any violence by deploying hundreds of personnel. “The situation is under control,” Jha added.

Shalik’s father Mohammad Minhaj said two people came to his house on Wednesday night to tell him that his son was being beaten and tied to rope at Soso village. “I informed police immediately. When we reached at the village, we found my son was critically injured,” he said. He was taken to Sadar hospital immediately. The hospital authority referred him to Rajendra Institute of Medical Sciences (RIMS) in Ranchi but he died on the way.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 12:33

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

Stolen from the funny pics thread

Imperialist Dog fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Apr 8, 2017

# ? Apr 8, 2017 12:52

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Haier posted:

Does that mean he could watch gay porn and be fine with it if he could imagine the gay guys to be women? Two women 69ing their own dicks.

Is anime popular in India?

# ? Apr 8, 2017 12:56

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Imperialist Dog posted:

An example of love jihad ends in murder

http://m.hindustantimes.com/india-n...mngaMpIhNI.html

Well, he was Muslim, so like half of GBS is gonna be okay with this.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 14:18

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

Imperialist Dog posted:

http://m.hindustantimes.com/india-n...mngaMpIhNI.html

quote:
The man � identified as Mohammad Shalik, a resident of Raza Colony in Gumla town � was allegedly in a relationship with a Hindu woman of a nearby village, Soso, for more than a year, sources said.

"Mo, how're things working out with your gf?"
"Soso?"
"Sorry, man, hope things improve."
"What?"
"What?"

# ? Apr 8, 2017 14:27

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Trying right now to imagine the sort of art that would be made by an indian nerd obsessed with japanese anime culture.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 14:59

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

Amarcarts posted:

Trying right now to imagine the sort of art that would be made by an indian nerd obsessed with japanese anime culture.

I'm thinking rape might be involved.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 15:08

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Does India have tentacle monsters

# ? Apr 8, 2017 15:09

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Blue Train posted:

Does India have tentacle monsters

Yes they're called male bus passengers.

# ? Apr 8, 2017 15:15

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Gay Weed Dad posted:

Perhaps Haier or one of the other goons who have been to India can confirm/deny:
I had a friend who was the naturalist type who went through a Neem fixation; he would boast up and down about its "amazing cure all" abiities (it is apparently antiseptic, antifungal, and antipyretic) and how it completely absolved the need for the typical variety of hygiene products. While this dude didn't smell like BO, he absolutely reeked of Neem 24/7 so it was only slightly better. Neem is very popular outside of the Western world so it makes me wonder if there is simply an over-reliance on Neem?

There's actually a fair amount of science behind neem, if you're interested you could google a few studies on its various properties. It is a pretty cool plant but of course it's not as cure all as its fans would say it is, and I think most of the studies had to concentrate it. It's certainly somewhat useful as a weak natural pesticide, I think it basically makes the bugs act super drunk and then die iirc

# ? Apr 8, 2017 17:03

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Murray Mantoinette posted:

I'm thinking rape might be involved.

Tbh, I don't think that Japanese fanworks can get more problematic at this juncture regarding that.

Though it's a little bit weird for me to wrap my head around the fact that India is apparently the new low point compared to Japan. Are there any love hotels in India?

# ? Apr 8, 2017 17:19

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Blue Train posted:

Does India have tentacle monsters

They loving invented them:

# ? Apr 8, 2017 17:19

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Tbh, I don't think that Japanese fanworks can get more problematic at this juncture regarding that.

Though it's a little bit weird for me to wrap my head around the fact that India is apparently the new low point compared to Japan. Are there any love hotels in India?

Haier posted:

Summarized:

...

Hotels won't rent to unmarried couples, and even some areas married couples need to show marriage license, or have a child or relative with them to prove they are not being illicit. Many hotels also won't rent to single women because it's an easy trick for a single guy to also rent a room a few hours later and then the couple can meet.

...

I'm going with 'no.'

# ? Apr 9, 2017 01:08

gentle pete: Feb 21, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

# ? Apr 9, 2017 03:22

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Arranged marriage is pretty lol

It's hard enough to stay happy with someone that you've spent several years in the throws of rapturous love with, and in your later years the embers of passion have cooled to warm ash

Or I guess you could be with that pharmacist your mom picked for you because he has money, LMAO

# ? Apr 9, 2017 03:26

Munchables: Feb 8, 2015; Ask/tell me about legal cannibalism

Goodboob madam

# ? Apr 9, 2017 04:21

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

The one dude slipping in "It's against nature. I hate it." makes me wonder what the picture is.

Probably a man and a woman holding hands.

Anyway, here's some sikh beats to help you seduce your bhabi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgmw41CY1Fo

# ? Apr 9, 2017 04:44

Brutal Garcon: Nov 2, 2014

Munchables posted:

Goodboob madam

This, but said in an offended tone as you storm out.

# ? Apr 9, 2017 04:45

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Superbowl to you, goodboob madam

# ? Apr 9, 2017 05:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 22:55

bubblebee: Jan 6, 2014

What the gently caress is an expanding stage of a navel.

Also lol at the guy with an arrogant dick.

# ? Apr 9, 2017 05:05

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Confused Indian Men Posting On Facebook Porn Groups Megathread

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