Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

«‹›572 »

false flag post-op: May 13, 2009; Enjoy Every Sandvich

Drunken Baker posted:

Furries are so sad. Always so desperate for attention.

It's like they enjoy being dogpiled or something

# ? Apr 19, 2017 13:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 08:34

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Whoa hey guys I just stepped through a time portal from the year 2005 and everybody still had a stick up their rear end about furries

# ? Apr 19, 2017 14:15

Hugoon Chavez: Nov 4, 2011; THUNDERDOME LOSER

purple death ray posted:

Whoa hey guys I just stepped through a time portal from the year 2005 and everybody still had a stick up their rear end about furries

What's your fursona?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 14:56

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

purple death ray posted:

Whoa hey guys I just stepped through a time portal from the year 2005 and everybody still had a stick up their rear end about furries

This implies we have suddenly stopped having reasons to judge them as a group that has sad losers who tolerate pedos and lesser hosed up things.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:02

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Hugoon Chavez posted:

What's your fursona?

I morph between many fursonas, if I use one for too long I'll be trapped as that fursona forever

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:02

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

I'd like to confess that I still think furries are hosed up hilarious broken people. I will laugh at furries until I die.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:16

walgreenslatino: Jun 2, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

purple death ray posted:

Whoa hey guys I just stepped through a time portal from the year 2005 and everybody still had a stick up their rear end about furries

free basket of chips posted:

Yiff in hell

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:19

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

The sad and funny thing about furries is that they try to get into the identity politics game, all "we're just DIFFERENT ok?" like they were born as weird gross losers.

No, you made a decision to be this way and you deserve to be mocked for it. loving cartoon animals, hahaha look at yourself. :v:

EDIT: Also the idea that since time has passed and furries still exist they're not hilarious failure people. lol, no, they have not stopped being ridiculous.

EDIT2: also furry or not Hedrigal is trolling this thread hard and succeeding. I have fallen for the trolling, but that isn't nearly as sad as being a furry, lol

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:27

Hedrigall: Mar 27, 2008; by vyelkin

Feminasty Slut posted:

I'd like to confess that I still think furries are hosed up hilarious broken people. I will laugh at furries until I die.

And that's your purrogative

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:27

free basket of chips: Sep 7, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Hedrigall posted:

And that's your purrogative

Furrogative, if you will

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:30

Hedrigall: Mar 27, 2008; by vyelkin

free basket of chips posted:

Furrogative, if you will

Nope you took it too far :geno:

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:31

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

It's like getting upset at goatse like, yeah it's weird and gross but I've seen it all before and I just can't get too worked up about it. They're part of the weird hosed up fabric of the internet now and I have a hard time imagining it being the same without them.

Besides its 2017 and the perpetually escalating Internet horror machine has given us bronies and feeder fetishists and the alt right and the daddy cummies people so I really don't know why anybody even notices furries anymore

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:32

Jailbrekr: Apr 8, 2002; A TOWN LEVELED BY AN EXPLOSION? DOZENS LIKELY KILLED? OH GOD LET ME SEE THAT SWEET VIDEO OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING

purple death ray posted:

It's like getting upset at goatse like, yeah it's weird and gross but I've seen it all before and I just can't get too worked up about it. They're part of the weird hosed up fabric of the internet now and I have a hard time imagining it being the same without them.

Besides its 2017 and the perpetually escalating Internet horror machine has given us bronies and feeder fetishists and the alt right and the daddy cummies people so I really don't know why anybody even notices furries anymore

Yeah but how can you not mock a group that takes itself so seriously? Its been like 15+ years and they're still trying to establish themselves as some oppressed culture or race or social group.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:41

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

purple death ray posted:

It's like getting upset at goatse like, yeah it's weird and gross but I've seen it all before and I just can't get too worked up about it. They're part of the weird hosed up fabric of the internet now and I have a hard time imagining it being the same without them.

Besides its 2017 and the perpetually escalating Internet horror machine has given us bronies and feeder fetishists and the alt right and the daddy cummies people so I really don't know why anybody even notices furries anymore

Here's the thing: the dude's being a huge twat about it

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:44

Beige: Sep 13, 2004

Jailbrekr posted:

Yeah but how can you not mock a group that takes itself so seriously? Its been like 15+ years and they're still trying to establish themselves as some oppressed culture or race or social group.

Truly furries are the new jews

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:43

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Gloryhold It! posted:

Here's the thing: the dude's being a huge twat about it

gently caress that guy then

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:48

Stickfigure: Sep 4, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Remember that webcomic about a detective (IIRC a stern looking black dude) investigating furry killings? That poo poo was hilarious.
Edit Found it! http://www.dreamingofutopia.com/

Stickfigure fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Apr 19, 2017

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:50

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

Jailbrekr posted:

Yeah but how can you not mock a group that takes itself so seriously? Its been like 15+ years and they're still trying to establish themselves as some oppressed culture or race or social group.

and they're doing that while wearing fursuits. lmao

# ? Apr 19, 2017 15:52

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Ioquacious, post a fesh

# ? Apr 19, 2017 16:30

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Non anonymously I'm just fascinated with the furry scene since I dropped acid on a beautiful afternoon and zipped off on a bike ride. Soon I accidentally encountered a crowd of aminals downtown, while I was tripping balls. I attended the con, I learned that I'm not full fursuit material nor yiff-worthy. The actual engineering and craftsmanship in building fursuits is something else.
I hope I'm not too mentally healthy. Stability is boring.

Masturbasturd fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Apr 19, 2017

# ? Apr 19, 2017 16:37

Beige: Sep 13, 2004

Chlamyllionaire posted:

... while I was tripping balls. I attended the con...

You should definitely write about this experience. I'm picturing some Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas poo poo.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 16:55

Hugoon Chavez: Nov 4, 2011; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Beige posted:

You should definitely write about this experience. I'm picturing some Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas poo poo.

You can't bike here, this is bat country! and they are loving each other

# ? Apr 19, 2017 17:10

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Ioquacious, post a fesh

Been kind of short on material but I have some more now, sure

quote:

My father disappeared on a camping trip several years ago. He was an big wilderness guy and had been camping routinely since he was a kid. He was also a pretty good bow hunter and always took a compound bow out into the woods while camping to make sure wild animals didn't sneak up on him and attack.

He didn't come home the day he was supposed to, and my mom called the police. They searched the woods and found his campsite. Bunch of food still sitting around, tent still set up, fire had gone cold. They expanded the search and found his boots a few yards away, and his bow nearby too. We were convinced he was dead at this point because he would never leave those things behind.

The search went on for days and they found more of his clothing and his gear, but not him. It looked like he had walked away from camp, slowly dropping clothes and gear as he walked. But the trail went cold and they couldn't find his body. Then that winter somebody was walking the trails and found a body frozen near a stream. It was my dad. There's no way in hell the searchers missed a body the first time in this spot, it was only 50 feet from his camp site,so he must have been washed down the stream or been buried under something that was later exposed.

Official cause of death brought up more questions too. No signs of animal attacks - no bites or scratches or claw marks. No bites from snakes or poisonous spiders. No stings from bees or wasps that he could have possibly had a weird reaction to. No signs of a struggle with another person either. After the autopsy they found water in his lungs, so it was believed he must have fallen or passed out and landed in a stream and drowned. Didn't explain the clothing and gear being dropped, unless he had a stroke or something, stumbled around with brain damage due to oxygen deprivation, then drowned. So we weren't happy with the findings and kept pushing for a better resolution. Turns out the water in his lungs was salt water.

No one can explain what happened to him. Nothing makes sense. The nearest salt water is 300 miles away from where he was camping. Unless he wandered 300 miles, drowned, then somehow traveled another 300 miles back to set his own dead body by his camp.

quote:

I love cheesecake and have started eating it every day. I know this is bad for my health but who loving cares.

Sister took me to Cheesecake factory for my birthday. Ate some cheesecake for the first time in my life. Holy poo poo so good. Have been picking up some to-go cheesecake from there at least twice a week since. Also Sam's Club sells these mini cheesecakes which are pretty good and way cheaper, so I've stocked up on those. Target has cheesecake too but I haven't tried that one yet.

In a way I'm glad I never had cheesecake before because, and this is the truth, I would have probably just sat in my room and eaten cheesecake all day instead of going to school or socializing or anything.

I'm going to try making my own cheesecake this weekend and I'm really excited for the results.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKptTuohldI

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:25

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Cheesecake is extremely good tbh I can really see that breaking someone's mind if they never had it until later in life

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:31

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

purple death ray posted:

It's like getting upset at goatse like, yeah it's weird and gross but I've seen it all before and I just can't get too worked up about it. They're part of the weird hosed up fabric of the internet now and I have a hard time imagining it being the same without them.

Besides its 2017 and the perpetually escalating Internet horror machine has given us bronies and feeder fetishists and the alt right and the daddy cummies people so I really don't know why anybody even notices furries anymore

The difference is that most people can unanimously agree that goatse is pretty gross, and nobody is making goatse their entire lifestyle. Like, could you imagine if there were goatse cons where people dressed up like big anthropomorphic, stretched out, prolapsed anuses? And then tried to explain how it's an integral part of their identity? :barf:

To be fair, that honestly sounds worse than furries...but not by much.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:59

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Pearnicious posted:

The difference is that most people can unanimously agree that goatse is pretty gross, and nobody is making goatse their entire lifestyle. Like, could you imagine if there were goatse cons where people dressed up like big anthropomorphic, stretched out, prolapsed anuses? And then tried to explain how it's an integral part of their identity?

To be fair, that honestly sounds worse than furries...but not by much.

Uhh, ever heard of goonmeets?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:13

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

I don't know how you can post on these forums and not know that there are people for whom goatse is in fact their entire self identity

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:26

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

purple death ray posted:

I don't know how you can post on these forums and not know that there are people for whom goatse is in fact their entire self identity

Not true, they also include tubgirl and swap.avi

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:33

Gynovore: Jun 17, 2009; Forget your RoboCoX or your StickyCoX or your EvilCoX, MY CoX has Blinking Bewbs!

WHY IS THIS GAME DEAD?!

H.P. posted:

Official cause of death brought up more questions too. Turns out the water in his lungs was salt water. The nearest salt water is 300 miles away from where he was camping.

Good, atmospheric setup, ending leaves us wanting more. 7/10, Would read more.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:34

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Beige posted:

You should definitely write about this experience. I'm picturing some Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas poo poo.

Meh, I can handle lsd in moderation. Makes me more normal if anything.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:34

Personal Lucubrant: Oct 18, 2016; Just thinking about what to do with all the money I don't have.

purple death ray posted:

I don't know how you can post on these forums and not know that there are people for whom goatse is in fact their entire self identity

Colonel Cancer posted:

Uhh, ever heard of goonmeets?

*points to my reg date*

I've heard horror stores, but I'm mostly blissfully unaware of the majority of the horrors spawned from this place in the last 15 years.

By comparison I suppose furries might be almost acceptable? What is life?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:47

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

That exists for a reason. Goons that self identify as "goons" are worse than almost anything. Mostly because they are basically the worst of everything.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:53

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

being gay is bad you heard it here first

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:25

Hedrigall: Mar 27, 2008; by vyelkin

Stickfigure posted:

Remember that webcomic about a detective (IIRC a stern looking black dude) investigating furry killings? That poo poo was hilarious.
Edit Found it! http://www.dreamingofutopia.com/

The lost Philip Marlowe mystery.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:41

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Colonel Cancer posted:

Uhh, ever heard of goonmeets?

I have had positive goon meet experiences, but as with any social group, you need to be able to tell toxic and lovely people to gently caress off and not come back, instead of letting them hang out because of Goon Solidarity or some similar Geek Social Fallacy garbage excuse.

# ? Apr 20, 2017 01:40

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I am being pressured by my family and our church to stay in a bad relationship and don't know what to do.

I was married for 11 years and, due to my own insecurity and stupidity, ended that relationship. I am on okay terms with my ex-wife because we have a daughter together, but have been told multiple times that there is no chance of reconciliation into something romantic.

After I ended that relationship I discovered that I was a pretty awful person and that my visions of tons of single women being interested in me were far from true. I spent quite a bit of time alone or dating women with massive issues, emotional baggage I wasn't able to handle. It was during this time I started reflecting on my life and made a change to be a better person and not screw up any more relationships. I made my #1 goal in life to be the best father possible and, drat it, I think I did it. I never miss a moment in her life whenever possible, I have weekend custody and visit on weekdays whenever possible, and my ex and I never discuss our own issues in front of our daughter.

In the last ~2 years I started seeing a woman again. Same hobbies and interests as me and we met at church. Oh yeah, I started going to church after the divorce as a way to kind of center myself and get out of the house more.

The issues have started popping up in the last few months. My daughter has repeatedly called my girlfriend "an evil stepmother". And my girlfriend demands my time over the daughter. I suggest we do things together and my girlfriend refuses, saying that she should be number one in my life and that my daughter is basically an adult. My daughter is 9.

I spoke to my pastor and he said I need to try and salvage the relationship and keep the relationship going since I was already stained by a divorce. My brother says the same thing, that the divorce shows I have a history of failing as a husband and that ending this relationship is the same thing. I do not know what to do and don't know if that's true or if I'm valid in ending this.

You should probably dump your girlfriend and change churches

I dunno man I don't really "do" church or whatever but if your pastor is telling you to stay in a bad relationship because ending it is basically like another divorce and you're already going to hell for that one anyway, it's probably not a good church and you shouldn't base your decisions around appeasing them :shrug:

I dunno about your brother, without any specifics I can't really tell if your relationship really is toxic or if you're just a whiner but this kind of thing isn't really your pastor's business and it sounds like a bad church that's all

quote:

My house is haunted by a leprechaun and I swear to God I'm not making it up.

Leprechauns in the oldest stories are small invisible drunken assholes. They will break things and hurt people unless they have a steady stream of alcohol and entertainment. And I know everyone is laughing this confession off but this is terrifying and nobody believes me or has offered a way to fix this.

I don't know what caused it. It started several weeks ago and has had periods of getting worse and periods where it got quiet. I can't think of anything I did to allow this thing into my home.

If I try to eat the plate is pushed onto the floor and bites are taken out. Same with drinks of any kind but especially any alcohol. My skin is pinched and my hair is pulled, my nose is flicked and bit and I've started finding hole cut into my clothing. Usually a bit outburst like this will signal things are getting quiet. I originally assumed this was a ghost but had a "paranormal expert" come out. And yeah I know, bullshit con artist but until you're in this situation you don't know how you'd act either. So he says it's a leprechaun and I'm ready to call bullshit but then he tells me a list of things I didn't tell him before he came in. That liquor bottles were tossed on the ground and the booze would be gone when I went to clean it up. And that my pocket change would be neatly sorted and stacked every day when I woke up.

So I asked this guy how I get rid of it and he said "You don't, you just move out". And that's where I'm at now. I'm poor as gently caress and can't afford to move. I also am slowly feeling myself go insane from lack of sleep and spending less and less time at home out of fear. I have taken multiple videos and photos of the phenomenon but run in to various errors and glitches when trying to upload them. Photos get deleted or turn super blurry, the files get corrupted. I attempted to attach a photo of my pinched skin to this email and now the file is gone from my laptop. I've texted photos to people only to find out they never go the photo, then I check my phone and the photo is deleted.

I realize THAT also sounds like bullshit a crazy person would say to justify a lack of real proof, but it's the truth here. I invite anyone in the Toledo Ohio area to come see this in person. If you seriously doubt this I'll PM you my address and you can come deal with this poo poo and tell me to my face I'm making it up.

mental note: lower inflated real-estate values in expensive neighborhoods with The Ol' Haunted Leprechaun Hustle

A uniquely Boston solution to a uniquely Boston problem

also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qO66Rmi1Mw

# ? Apr 20, 2017 01:57

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I thought leprechauns were just olden time people's way of explaining the very real phenomenon of alien abduction/ experimentation. Think you better get yourself some real help from an alien hunter. Maybe get in touch with this bad dude:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPouUOQNAiY

http://www.alienresistance.org/

# ? Apr 20, 2017 03:13