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This is the official thread for statements by and policy directives of the CSPAM President. The current CSPAM President is: Lastgirl. All hail Lastgirl, and her glorious new regime! Current Policy Directive:
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 14:11 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:20 |
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The 2nd CSPAM presidential election is over! It was byzantine, unrepresentative, and thoroughly prone to corruption and backroom dealing, as usual. Whether a certain former candidate decides to stage any sort of coup in an attempt to overturn the results remains to be seen. The powers and responsibilities of that office are far too complicated and numerous for me to go into right now, but please rest assured that the current President knows everything they need to about the office they hold. However, I should lay out some ground rules just to keep things on as even a keel as we ever have:
This thread is now open that we may all bask in the glory of our new Fearless Leader, and her all-but-guaranteed comical disaster of an administration.
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 14:13 |
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Captain_Maclaine posted:Legum servi sumus ut liberi esse possimus. thus always to possums
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 14:32 |
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Mods, rename the thread to "Executive Mansion 2: Electric Boogaloo"
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 17:57 |
lg is good, OP
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 18:00 |
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I hope someone moved the last supper i had hanging in the foyer before you had the other mansion bulldozed
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 18:01 |
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iospace posted:Mods, rename the thread to "Executive Mansion 2: Electric Boogaloo" Thought about it, but it's been done so many times before.
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 18:17 |
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Captain_Maclaine posted:Thought about it, but it's been done so many times before. Executive Mansion 2: Golf Harder
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 18:47 |
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Hi Thank you very much for your show of support! I am humbled the people of C-SPAM elected me. Since I am your voice and will, I shall do my best to represent you which is why I'm keen on an Open Door policy as a one of the first order of business after everything has fallen into place, such as this thread subtitle and a dysfunctional cabinet!~ But for now, I will be sticking an umbrella in my rum punch and laying out on the C-SPAM mansion front lawn to catch some rays as we transition Happy 4/20 everyone enjoy this day for it is a momentous occasion and thus celebration is mandatory
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:04 |
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does anyone kno how to work the lights in here
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:17 |
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Al! posted:does anyone kno how to work the lights in here cram a penny in there
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:22 |
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Gringostar posted:cram a penny in there penny 'll start a fire
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:23 |
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Gringostar posted:cram a penny in there That's your answer for everything!
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:24 |
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this projector screen keeps lowering down and bonking me on the head when my back is turned, i think some staffers from the previous admin are still hiding in the walls
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:24 |
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wait, i was IN the previous admin
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:25 |
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Annyong
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:27 |
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*sips rum punch and lifts glasses above* electricity is wasteful so can we tear the roof off and let REAL light in? make it happen thank you this is a renewable energy administration and i will not idly stand by and see baby lightbulbs be roasted alive to illuminate spacious areas
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:37 |
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Lastgirl posted:*sips rum punch and lifts glasses above* wisdom
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 19:40 |
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im not leaving
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 20:00 |
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QUIT TOUCHIN MY STUFF FUCKERS
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 20:01 |
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Turdfuzz posted:QUIT TOUCHIN MY STUFF FUCKERS are you going to eat this lime
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 20:47 |
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too late its already in my butt
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 20:49 |
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YAAAS SLAY KWEEN
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 21:38 |
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and now a special address from madam presidents press secretary
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 22:38 |
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Gringostar posted:and now a special address from madam presidents press secretary very fitting
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 23:54 |
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# ? Apr 20, 2017 23:58 |
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CSPAM.White.House.S02.720p.mkv
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# ? Apr 21, 2017 01:34 |
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crazy cloud posted:Annyong
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# ? Apr 22, 2017 06:20 |
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Gringostar posted:cram a penny in there Al! posted:too late its already in my butt Lindsey O. Graham posted:very fitting
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# ? Apr 22, 2017 06:23 |
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Calling to congratulate the new president on her victory, and hoping to become a critical ally in her war on sobriety.
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# ? Apr 22, 2017 14:23 |
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hope everyone's having a great 4 day weekend so far, I'm traveling to my winter whitehouse because i realized that tearing the roof off on the first one was a bad idea so I need tax payer money to cover the damage done to that and also the tax payer money to cover my charter flight to the maldives where the winter whitehouse is because it gets cold in the tropics anyways pay me lots of money and we'll make everything fine dont worry about it
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# ? Apr 22, 2017 18:47 |
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Lastgirl posted:hope everyone's having a great 4 day weekend so far, I'm traveling to my winter whitehouse because i realized that tearing the roof off on the first one was a bad idea so I need tax payer money to cover the damage done to that and also the tax payer money to cover my charter flight to the maldives where the winter whitehouse is because it gets cold in the tropics gets defense contract collects check gives you a cut Bing bong! So simple!
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# ? Apr 22, 2017 23:43 |
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*strolls in with a cup of tea and yawns* ok so walk and talk with me like they do in the hit NBC series west wing with 3 golden globe and 26 emmies so i can feel engaged and busy and important, except like do it more slowly and sitting down and actually just whisper because i have a hang over oh good the lights are still off, lets begin. *ahems* I've taken the 4 day weekend to consider cabinet positions for my administration, and this week we'll start effecting real change to drain the swamp by streamlining every cabinet position into a more sleek, a more hyper agile government designed for the 21st century shitposting lifestyle. i dont have any laser pen or a powerpoint slide so this index card of cabinet positions will do *reads off a weathered index card and squints* right now I think I scribbled Squizzle in as Vice President also Dr. Ben Carson for C-SPAM HUD as well, I figure he could do with the extra practice for his Grain Silo R&D in the goblin's nest. I would also like to appoint Al! for Secretary of Defense and Baloogan as Deputy Secretary of Defense. I believe Lindsey O. Graham was acting attorney general, and would like to have him stay on to fulfill his role until someone is nominated or Lindsey himself is formalized in the position. Secretary of State is open and needs confirmation. You'll be dealing with D&D immigration a lot on this one. Secretary of Liquor and Secretary of Drive Thru Orders are also open and needs confirmation. 3 more spots to fill to streamline this administration and cut out all the bureaucratic redundancy. and... thats all the space I have on this index card and I don't like writing on the back because the ink bleeds through and its harder to read especially without light in here, jest let me know if you accept these positions, thank you! I would like to pass a general motion this week sometimes so feel free to apply for the open positions. While I have some people in mind for the last 3 position, there's a limited window and I want to exhaust all the options and by exhaust I mean procrastinate while I catch some sunrays some more with Every Open Eye in my earbuds and mojitos within reach. C-SPAM first. God bless
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 19:18 |
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I accept the continuation of my position as attorney general, and am seeking the formalization of this position. on another note, i'm loving the picks for defense, hawkish, just the way i like 'em
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 19:58 |
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u havent seen the last of me....
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 20:10 |
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Ill be mowing the lawns. Poorly
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 20:19 |
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very well, Lindsey is formalized as AG as part of crazy cloud's legacy since he accepts. Thatim is Secretary of Short Pants, it should improve your lawn mowing duties now.
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 20:47 |
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actually lets make Lindsey Secretary of Short Pants
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 20:52 |
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to whoever wins secretary of the interior / drive thru i humbly suggest a Re-Education Environmental Exile (REEE) program whereby two posters who are polluting a Thread what with Extremely Opinions on a Subject are quarantined to a single thread, with a probation hung over the Arena of a length asserted by the Extremeliness of the Opinions there, they must argue their positions and do Battle. after the Battle has been waged for a Determined period and there is no more Entertainment to draw from the REEE, the competitors will be judged by the C-SPAM rabble who will vote for a winner, or no winner at all should neither's posts be worthy. this forces the champions to remember, throughout their trials, that they will not win by the ~logical rigeour~ of their arguments but by whatever fickle decisions seize momentary control of the howling Crowd's collective meatsacks. to emphasize this, heckling by the Mob is encouraged, while responding to the heckling is Disallowed. through these Trials posters will be scoured and remade whole those who are disqualified due to refusal or breaking the rules or breaking quarantine increase their probationary period by one category. the remaining competitor must still argue their case to the satisfaction of the Mob
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 21:07 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 16:20 |
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Lastgirl posted:actually lets make Lindsey Secretary of Short Pants I just got new oil for the machine!! But he does seem like a capable gardner
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# ? Apr 24, 2017 21:42 |