|
Cheesus posted:Our son has been suffering a few weeks with some sort of upper-respiratory virus. It was getting better and last week at his 18 month wellness visit last Thursday, he was given a clean bill of health. His ears were explicitly checked. Mine got ear infections like crazy at that age too. It really blows. We came very close to getting tubes for him. KingColliwog posted:My almost 19 months old just discovered tantrums... I'm not a pro by any measure but it sounds like you have the right strategy.
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 16:33
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 14, 2024 03:40 |
|
|
KingColliwog posted:My almost 19 months old just discovered tantrums... Yeah, that's pretty much all you can do. However, I would have a plan in place for when he starts escalating. From his age now to whenever (4-5+), he's going to start testing your fences. He's never had limits before and he's about to start running into all of them. He'll have some real doozy tantrums over all that so it'll be good to have a discipline regime ready to go to help correct bad behavior. But right now, tantrums are normal and should be ignored to avoid rewarding him for throwing one. Redirection is a great tool as well so good job.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 16:45
|
|
|
Heard my son's word for "diaper" over the monitor while getting up. Did he wet the bed again maybe? Sure! And took his diaper off. And pooped. And as soon as I step inside he hands me the diaper. Should I be worried he didn't play with his poop? All the parents I've talked to assure me that that would be normal.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 16:55
|
|
|
Careful Drums posted:Mine got ear infections like crazy at that age too. It really blows. We came very close to getting tubes for him. Are tubes frowned on nowadays? I had 'em almost my entire childhood.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 17:18
|
|
|
hooah posted:Are tubes frowned on nowadays? I had 'em almost my entire childhood. No, I should've added to my first post - tubes are totally normal and common. I got them when I was 2, way back in 1990 and it wasn't a big deal then for my parents. The doctors all recommended we get them, but my wife was just really skittish about putting a 2yr old under if it could be avoided. We waited it out and got lucky that he stopped getting them so frequently.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 18:03
|
|
|
kaschei posted:Heard my son's word for "diaper" over the monitor while getting up. Did he wet the bed again maybe? We had that one night, no poop thankfully. We then started putting her onesie vest on back to front so she couldn't get at the poppers. Got that tip from this thread.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 18:18
|
|
|
My son had ear infections too and while we resisted we eventually got him tubes because it wasn't clearing up on its own. The procedure was really ok, although when he came out of the sedative or whatever it is he was really disoriented and confused and pretty upset as a result. They did make a big difference and then fell out on their own a little while ago. He hasn't had the problems since the procedure though and having them come out after a while is apparently normal and fine? I understand the trepidation but it did make a big difference for him.
|
|
#
?
Apr 19, 2017 18:20
|
|
|
KingColliwog posted:My almost 19 months old just discovered tantrums... You sound like you've got the right approach. The mistake I made for a while was trying to resolve the tantrum before moving on, but it often just doesn't work and everyone would end up getting more frustrated as a result. I eventually learned that sometimes you've just gotta let it happen and then be there afterwards. I'm generally a very placid and easygoing person, but my son's tantrums were the biggest test of that I've probably ever experienced. From like 2.5 to 3.5 were the worst, often with multiple tantrums per day, and they can really wear you down. He's now 4 and a few months and it's much, much better, mainly because he's just that much better at communicating.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 13:57
|
|
|
At 18 months mine has started proto-tantrums and I've also found it a test of my patience, only because he's been using them for regular events. For example, in the morning, since he was able to stand, I'd bring him to the kitchen and either sit or stand him on the floor while I took a minute to pour him milk into his cup and get a bowl ready with a small handful of Cheerios. Up until last month, he had no problem with it and would stay there quietly but nearly every day since then, it's been intense teary wails immediately after putting him on the floor. I ignore it, but inside I'm annoyed and thinking "Dude, we've always done this and I'm quicker than anyone else who does this with you. Why are you melting down?" Then he can't wait to get into my lap while we watch the news and PBS and I'm all  Third day in a row with a reoccurring fever due to his ear infection. What, precisely is the purpose of infrared and ear thermometers again? Last fall we returned the infrared one within a day but a month ago, my wife insisted I pick up an ear one because it was supposed to be more accurate. It's not. They're so irritatingly inconsistent that they just force you to go rectal anyway.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 14:41
|
|
|
Cheesus posted:They're so irritatingly inconsistent that they just force you to go rectal anyway. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 16:56
|
|
|
I have never had an inconsistency problem with either infrared thermometers unless he's struggling so much I know I'm not gonna get a good reading.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 17:48
|
|
|
I've been reading The Whole Brain Child and trying to adjust my parenting accordingly - it talks a lot about how you can't reason with a child who is having a right brain tantrum, you have to appeal to them on a raw emotional level and then you can reintroduce rationality once they calm down. Most of the time this just means being empathetic and acknowledging that they're upset and being ok with the fact that they're being unreasonable or illogical at that moment. My 14 month old hasn't entered the tantrum phase yet but I'm making an effort to be empathetic even when it's something minor like falling and bumping his head. Instead of saying "oh you're fine it was nothing" I'm trying to say "that must have hurt, I'm sorry that happened to you" I'm not big on parenting books but I thought the neuroscience behind the concepts discussed in the book was fascinating.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 18:23
|
|
|
yo, parenting thread! it's been a while. my kid's three (he'll be four in October) and he's mostly great but i do have a few questions - he's super curious about everything (incredible) which sometimes leads to uncomfortable conversations. not because i don't want him to know about sex or death, but because i don't know what's too complex or too serious for a toddler. so he understands that people can die if they get very sick, or very hurt, or very old, but he doesn't understand that they don't come back - not a huge deal, that will come later - and he wants to know WHY? why don't they come back? is it too much to explain death and decomposition to my 3-year old son, who will turn around and promptly repeat every word i say to the other kids in his class? he knows that women can make babies, and that only adults should make babies, but he wants to know HOW they make a baby. how in-depth can i go with that explanation? at home i fully support him learning everything and knowing everything he wants to know, but he's kind of a know-it-all and definitely shows off at daycare by telling everyone all the stuff he knows. it's fine when he's talking about gravity, but probably less fine when he's talking about sex. where do/did y'all draw the line? he's such a little sponge, he soaks up everything and thinks about it and talks about it and that's one of the things i really love about him, but we live in alabama and not everybody wants their toddler having academic discussions about sex and death.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 18:46
|
|
|
KingColliwog posted:My almost 19 months old just discovered tantrums... you're doing fine. this is the age when kids discover they have emotions, their emotions can be used to control others and modify their environment, and that emotions are difficult to control. if your kid has a trantrum you should basically ignore it. don't like completely pretend it's not happening but just remain in control of the situation. "no, it's time to leave the park now, say bye bye" and let them scream it out. explain in a calm voice why they can't have what they want. eventually they'll figure out tantrums don't work and throw them less often kaschei posted:Should I be worried he didn't play with his poop? All the parents I've talked to assure me that that would be normal. does he put a lot of stuff in his mouth, or otherwise like getting messy? some kids are just cleaner than others. we were worried that our toddler would play in the litter box but turns out she won't go near the thing, she knows "cat box, no touch, yucky" and a couple times when she's pooped in the tub she's carefully placed her poops somewhere else
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 19:37
|
|
|
Tourette Meltdown posted:yo, parenting thread! it's been a while. my kid's three (he'll be four in October) and he's mostly great but i do have a few questions - he's super curious about everything (incredible) which sometimes leads to uncomfortable conversations. not because i don't want him to know about sex or death, but because i don't know what's too complex or too serious for a toddler. so he understands that people can die if they get very sick, or very hurt, or very old, but he doesn't understand that they don't come back - not a huge deal, that will come later - and he wants to know WHY? why don't they come back? is it too much to explain death and decomposition to my 3-year old son, who will turn around and promptly repeat every word i say to the other kids in his class? he knows that women can make babies, and that only adults should make babies, but he wants to know HOW they make a baby. how in-depth can i go with that explanation? My advice would be: Provide him with full information, encourage his curiosity, but talk about animals rather than people. Other parents will probably be a lot more understanding about a kid talking about animals having sex and dying than people doing it, and you spend time talking about all the diversity of ways it can happen and expand his curiosity beyond the stuff you wouldn't want to bring up in polite company. Give him enough information, and maybe he'll be more likely to talk about the dual purpose of pedipalps or external fertilization in marine vertebrates which people can shrug off instead of more human-relevant stuff? Not sure if that's the greatest advice though, we haven't had to cross that bridge yet.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 20:13
|
|
|
GlyphGryph posted:I have never had an inconsistency problem with either infrared thermometers unless he's struggling so much I know I'm not gonna get a good reading. We're using the Braun ear model for $50 that was fairly high rated on Amazon (albeit with complaints about consistency). I love the idea of convenience and not bothering him when he's clearly sick, but when successive readings in either the infared or ear bounce between 98.6, 100.9, 99.5 as they did this morning (no struggles) , there's just no point to them.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 20:52
|
|
|
GlyphGryph posted:My advice would be: Provide him with full information, encourage his curiosity, but talk about animals rather than people. Other parents will probably be a lot more understanding about a kid talking about animals having sex and dying than people doing it, and you spend time talking about all the diversity of ways it can happen and expand his curiosity beyond the stuff you wouldn't want to bring up in polite company. Give him enough information, and maybe he'll be more likely to talk about the dual purpose of pedipalps or external fertilization in marine vertebrates which people can shrug off instead of more human-relevant stuff? this is a good idea! he's already talking about how salmon spawn (i think he saw that on an episode of magic schoolbus... i haven't been talking to my kid about fish sperm) and then die so he already understands that animals mate and die, too. i'll try animal-centric discussion until he's a little older and can get what's okay and not okay for polite conversation.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 21:04
|
|
|
My curious 3-year old asked why I was bleeding. By 4, he knew all about menstruation, ovulation, and at 5 he was sharing stuff like that in class when a friend's mom had a new baby or something. Sure, it is embarrassing but he has a better understanding of a woman's reproductive system than some adults. Which means, hopefully, that when he gets a little older and starts hearing crazy stuff on the playground at school he'll know better. We also wanted to make sure he understood about private parts and to let us know if anyone besides his parents or doctor touched him there. We all use the proper terms vagina and penis, so there's no confusion when he says "my penis hurts" or something. I always try to tell the truth about stuff like that, factual things that he can rely on. He curious about the planets, genealogy, death, etc and we try to tell him the truth about everything. My oldest daughter is 4 and everything is make believe, so she isn't very curious about facts these days. Everyone else is too little to ask about stuff. Of course, we have to lie about some stuff. If it's something like a parent going out for drinks or to a movie without the kids, we tell them that person "is going to a meeting" which sounds boring and not kid-friendly and it's worked so far.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 21:36
|
|
|
A book I have really liked for discussing babies is What Makes a Baby. One of the reasons we picked it up is because it is written to be very inclusive, which was important to us, but I also think it does a good job of explaining what goes into a baby without discussing the mechanics too intricately. We read this with my son when he was younger and we've read it multiple times with my daughter (who just turned 3) and they were both very satisfied with it in terms of answering their questions. We haven't had any calls or anything from angry parents either. For death, we talked to our kids a ton about life cycles and death involving plants and animals; we have a small garden and so every year we plant seeds for flowers and vegetables, watch them grow, and then eventually die at the end of the year, and we compost a bunch of stuff to make new soil. So this was a very easy in on explaining it where they could be involved and experience it. In terms of 'why don't they come back', once they have some idea of the cycle you can explain that cycles don't work backwards - in order to get a tomato plant, you need to plant a seed and let it grow, you can't take a dead plant and rewind it to life, just like you can't turn the plant back into a seed. Feel free to go to town talking about decomposition and stuff - if you have any green spaces you can probably take them to find decomposing plants or something similar. Related, last week my son asked me what happened to people after they were dead. We talked about what happens to people's bodies (buried, cremated, etc.) and then I explained that we're not really sure what else might happen. Some people believe that the part of you that is your thoughts and memories goes on to live somewhere else, other people think that part of you comes back in a new life, and other people think nothing else happens at all. He thought about this and then said "I think those first two are strange. I think that what happens is that people just stay there until they are just the bones inside. That seems most likely. That's if they have hard bones. If its something with a shell, then its the inside that goes away." He doesn't seem at all bothered by this, though.
|
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2017 21:51
|
|
|
What's the easiest modern way to mimick a Speak 'N Spell? Basically want to give my five year old an easy way to make a computer speak a word if he encounters it in a book and doesn't know how to pronounce it. He has access to an iPad and a (Windows) PC, or we could buy another device if that'd help. I could also give him my old Nexus 5 if there's something on Android.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2017 17:55
|
|
|
Are there any really good combination harness-booster recommendations? We want to utilize the Target car seat trade in (we have an older convertible seat our son doesn't fit in anymore). But our son is really tall and we're looking ahead to when he's too tall for convertible seats. Something he could use now through booster age.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2017 19:29
|
|
|
Radian seats would fit that criteria
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2017 20:36
|
|
|
For all Canadians reading this thread. https://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/motorvehiclesafety/roadsafety-1484.html
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2017 20:41
|
|
|
Thwomp posted:Are there any really good combination harness-booster recommendations? The Britax Frontier Click Tight is expensive but king. I wouldn't get a Radian since you won't be using it rear facing.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2017 23:44
|
|
|
http://csftl.org/recommended-seats/#combination This is my favorite source for car seat information. We went with the Britax frontier seat as well for my super tall kid.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 00:41
|
|
|
I have mad respect for all those parents out there that are chill and calm when their toddlers are having a meltdown. The exhaustion of dealing with a young child 24/7 can be taxing, and to take all that in stride for the sake of not making bad habits worse takes a lot of inner strength. It reminds me a lot of the teachers I had back in elementary/middle school. My favorite teachers were the ones that never lost their temper, no matter how hard students tried to test them. They weren't pushovers to say the least, its just that they were able to stay in control of very stressful situations. It takes a lot of self-regulation to be like this, which is why I have so much respect for the people with the self-discipline to keep this up.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 00:49
|
|
|
Hi_Bears posted:I've been reading The Whole Brain Child and trying to adjust my parenting accordingly - it talks a lot about how you can't reason with a child who is having a right brain tantrum, you have to appeal to them on a raw emotional level and then you can reintroduce rationality once they calm down. Most of the time this just means being empathetic and acknowledging that they're upset and being ok with the fact that they're being unreasonable or illogical at that moment. Yeah, emotions are essentially a child being unable to deal with emotions. I used to have crazy tantrums as a kid that would last for hours and hours so I read up on all the behavioural science and neuroscience when I had my first kid (onto third now). The 'wait it out' approach wasn't going to work with my kids if they were going to be like me, which they are. I let my partner handle my eldests (4 yo) tantrum tonight and she threw a fit for a good 2 and a half hours. My recipe for curing a tantrum is pretty simple. Hug the child firmly. Acknowledge that they are upset, and why they are upset. Maybe make some soothing noises. If they're old enough, ask them what they could do instead that would make them feel better. That usually stops the tantrum, then distract them with some other activity, like a conversation or singing a song together, until emotional control is reestablished. We also read kids books about different emotions so my kids can articulate how they're feeling. I got a whole bunch with cartoon rabbits called Sadness, Anger, Fear and whatnot.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 13:38
|
|
|
I've found that Pixar's Inside Out is a good place to start building vocabulary about emotions.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 16:33
|
|
|
My kid probably just got his lagest and bloodiest injury, sliced himself from elbow to wrist... on his song book. Despite a bloody papercut that was over a foot in length it barely seemed to phase him though. I would have been screaming bloody murder
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 22:21
|
|
|
Cicero posted:What's the easiest modern way to mimick a Speak 'N Spell? Basically want to give my five year old an easy way to make a computer speak a word if he encounters it in a book and doesn't know how to pronounce it. He has access to an iPad and a (Windows) PC, or we could buy another device if that'd help. I could also give him my old Nexus 5 if there's something on Android. Google translate app has a feature that will speak a word you type into it. We've got it on our ipad. Click on the little speaker icon after you've typed in the word. Nostalgic alternative answer : you can buy speak and spells on ebay
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2017 22:35
|
|
|
Is it normal for a six-month-old to repeatedly hit himself in the face with toys, seemingly with intent? Because that's a fun new game.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 00:54
|
|
|
That's pretty metal.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 04:13
|
|
|
ArmadilloConspiracy posted:Is it normal for a six-month-old to repeatedly hit himself in the face with toys, seemingly with intent? Because that's a fun new game. Yes. It's a fun new game. They're discovering how hard they can hit themselves before it actually hurts and feeling stuff.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 04:13
|
|
|
So, uh - our daycare provider has recommended we get an appointment for a language development specialist for our 26-month old, and my wife just listened to his cousin (who is a bit younger) sing an entire song perfectly, while he, uh... he can manage a third of the words from "happy birthday", poorly pronounced? So she's kind of worried, sort of getting it from all angles that there's something wrong with his development. Personally speaking, he seems fine to me. And we made the appointment just in case. But if you guys could give me a picture of your own kids' language development and capabilities at this age it would be really appreciated... especially if they had similar or lesser skills and turned out fine! (or, alternately, feel free to convince me I should be worrying, haha)
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 04:17
|
|
|
Our oldest was precocious in her verbal ability, and by that point, could more or less sing like the cousin, as I recall (though this stuff fades into misty memory over time). Our middle is 31 months, and since his 2nd birthday his speaking has grown prodigiously, but nowhere as precocious as the oldest. He probably can't yet string a large number of words together, but he can make a number of more-or-less-understandable sentences. His pronunciation needs some work, but that, too, has gotten better. An appointment with a specialist probably isn't a bad idea, but that's more based on the daycare provider (who presumably can at least compare his ability to his peers) suggesting it. The worst they can do is tell you that he's normal, and you're just out the money for it (which sucks, I know). On the other hand, if he does have a problem, this can start you on the path of getting the help you need.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 05:03
|
|
|
Glyph, My only son is only 7 months, but my best friend's son is 26 months, and was at a similar position. I can only say that when my friend was told to see a speech development professional it was a very scary thought, with lots of unfounded fears. From what I've learned via watching my friend go through meeting the speech people is that even if your son is behind schedule a bit (and thats a big if), working with a speech coach can quickly help get someone back on track. Id recommend seeing the professional. If nothing else you'll just learn some new ways to help teach a broader vocabulary. Just remember that seeing someone doesn't mean anything is wrong, and children's vocabulary levels have massive variance at this age.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 13:53
|
|
|
Also, to give some more perspective, another very close family friend had major speech development issues when he was young. Turned out that he was dyslexic, and did need additional support through early his primary school years. This was no doubt challenging for his family, but it completely paid off, and can now read, write, and converse with the best of them. Modern day developmental programs have really good track records for remediation, so even if your son needs some extra help, it is definitely not a signifier for his future.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 14:03
|
|
|
My now 14 year old had trouble with speech, he would say words but miss out the beginning of some words, the middle of some and the end of others and kind of run them all together so unless you were really well attuned to him (basically just me) he was impossible to understand. He started speech therapy when he was threeish and even when he started school at five he was fairly unintelligible but by the end of primary one he had caught up and now he is pretty much grown up you'd never have any idea that he had had problems. Now my daughter is four and she was a really late speaker too. She didn't really bother trying to talk for ages and just pointed and shrieked a lot to get what she wanted, then she started to say words but they were really jumbled up - goo for book, geg for egg. It was really frustrating seeing as she could say some sounds perfectly fine in some words but then not even try to put them in others. She started speech therapy around November and I don't know if it was that was a springboard or just coincidental but now her speech is so much better. It's still not perfect by any degree - she has trouble with a few letters like s and r and makes some substitutions but overall you can have a conversation with her and most people would know what she is saying. She won't stop saying me instead of I though even with constant correction but all in all a vast improvement. In comparison my youngest son is six, he started talking about 19 months and it was just an explosion of words - he was really quick. I think in a way that wasn't great for my daughter as he doesn't let her get a word in edgeways , I couldn't take him to her speech therapy appointments because there was no way he would be able to shut up and have the attention on her for thirty minutes.
|
|
#
?
Apr 23, 2017 15:56
|
|
|
My daughter who has traditionally been ok with brushing has decided that only she will do it now/hates us doing it. Anyone have some book suggestions for toddler brushing? I'd consider 29 months a good run but don't want to jump into holding down my kid.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2017 02:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 14, 2024 03:40 |
|
|
notwithoutmyanus posted:My daughter who has traditionally been ok with brushing has decided that only she will do it now/hates us doing it. Anyone have some book suggestions for toddler brushing? I'd consider 29 months a good run but don't want to jump into holding down my kid. Mine refused to let me do it start at 23 months so yeah, consider it a good run. You could just... let her do it, right? Make it clear that if she doesn't do it well enough you'll be forcing a followup.
|
|
#
?
Apr 24, 2017 05:14
|
|