|
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:02 |
|
|
# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:57 |
|
Many years ago there was an Emperor so exceedingly fond of new clothes that he spent all his money on being well dressed. He cared nothing about reviewing his soldiers, going to the theatre, or going for a ride in his carriage, except to show off his new clothes. He had a coat for every hour of the day, and instead of saying, as one might, about any other ruler, "The King's in council," here they always said. "The Emperor's in his dressing room." In the great city where he lived, life was always gay. Every day many strangers came to town, and among them one day came two swindlers. They let it be known they were weavers, and they said they could weave the most magnificent fabrics imaginable. Not only were their colors and patterns uncommonly fine, but clothes made of this cloth had a wonderful way of becoming invisible to anyone who was unfit for his office, or who was unusually stupid. "Those would be just the clothes for me," thought the Emperor. "If I wore them I would be able to discover which men in my empire are unfit for their posts. And I could tell the wise men from the fools. Yes, I certainly must get some of the stuff woven for me right away." He paid the two swindlers a large sum of money to start work at once. They set up two looms and pretended to weave, though there was nothing on the looms. All the finest silk and the purest old thread which they demanded went into their traveling bags, while they worked the empty looms far into the night. "I'd like to know how those weavers are getting on with the cloth," the Emperor thought, but he felt slightly uncomfortable when he remembered that those who were unfit for their position would not be able to see the fabric. It couldn't have been that he doubted himself, yet he thought he'd rather send someone else to see how things were going. The whole town knew about the cloth's peculiar power, and all were impatient to find out how stupid their neighbors were. "I'll send my honest old minister to the weavers," the Emperor decided. "He'll be the best one to tell me how the material looks, for he's a sensible man and no one does his duty better." So the honest old minister went to the room where the two swindlers sat working away at their empty looms. "Heaven help me," he thought as his eyes flew wide open, "I can't see anything at all". But he did not say so. Both the swindlers begged him to be so kind as to come near to approve the excellent pattern, the beautiful colors. They pointed to the empty looms, and the poor old minister stared as hard as he dared. He couldn't see anything, because there was nothing to see. "Heaven have mercy," he thought. "Can it be that I'm a fool? I'd have never guessed it, and not a soul must know. Am I unfit to be the minister? It would never do to let on that I can't see the cloth." "Don't hesitate to tell us what you think of it," said one of the weavers. "Oh, it's beautiful -it's enchanting." The old minister peered through his spectacles. "Such a pattern, what colors!" I'll be sure to tell the Emperor how delighted I am with it." "We're pleased to hear that," the swindlers said. They proceeded to name all the colors and to explain the intricate pattern. The old minister paid the closest attention, so that he could tell it all to the Emperor. And so he did. The swindlers at once asked for more money, more silk and gold thread, to get on with the weaving. But it all went into their pockets. Not a thread went into the looms, though they worked at their weaving as hard as ever. The Emperor presently sent another trustworthy official to see how the work progressed and how soon it would be ready. The same thing happened to him that had happened to the minister. He looked and he looked, but as there was nothing to see in the looms he couldn't see anything. "Isn't it a beautiful piece of goods?" the swindlers asked him, as they displayed and described their imaginary pattern. "I know I'm not stupid," the man thought, "so it must be that I'm unworthy of my good office. That's strange. I mustn't let anyone find it out, though." So he praised the material he did not see. He declared he was delighted with the beautiful colors and the exquisite pattern. To the Emperor he said, "It held me spellbound." All the town was talking of this splendid cloth, and the Emperor wanted to see it for himself while it was still in the looms. Attended by a band of chosen men, among whom were his two old trusted officials-the ones who had been to the weavers-he set out to see the two swindlers. He found them weaving with might and main, but without a thread in their looms. "Magnificent," said the two officials already duped. "Just look, Your Majesty, what colors! What a design!" They pointed to the empty looms, each supposing that the others could see the stuff. "What's this?" thought the Emperor. "I can't see anything. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the Emperor? What a thing to happen to me of all people! - Oh! It's very pretty," he said. "It has my highest approval." And he nodded approbation at the empty loom. Nothing could make him say that he couldn't see anything. His whole retinue stared and stared. One saw no more than another, but they all joined the Emperor in exclaiming, "Oh! It's very pretty," and they advised him to wear clothes made of this wonderful cloth especially for the great procession he was soon to lead. "Magnificent! Excellent! Unsurpassed!" were bandied from mouth to mouth, and everyone did his best to seem well pleased. The Emperor gave each of the swindlers a cross to wear in his buttonhole, and the title of "Sir Weaver." Before the procession the swindlers sat up all night and burned more than six candles, to show how busy they were finishing the Emperor's new clothes. They pretended to take the cloth off the loom. They made cuts in the air with huge scissors. And at last they said, "Now the Emperor's new clothes are ready for him." Then the Emperor himself came with his noblest noblemen, and the swindlers each raised an arm as if they were holding something. They said, "These are the trousers, here's the coat, and this is the mantle," naming each garment. "All of them are as light as a spider web. One would almost think he had nothing on, but that's what makes them so fine." "Exactly," all the noblemen agreed, though they could see nothing, for there was nothing to see. "If Your Imperial Majesty will condescend to take your clothes off," said the swindlers, "we will help you on with your new ones here in front of the long mirror." The Emperor undressed, and the swindlers pretended to put his new clothes on him, one garment after another. They took him around the waist and seemed to be fastening something - that was his train-as the Emperor turned round and round before the looking glass. "How well Your Majesty's new clothes look. Aren't they becoming!" He heard on all sides, "That pattern, so perfect! Those colors, so suitable! It is a magnificent outfit." Then the minister of public processions announced: "Your Majesty's canopy is waiting outside." "Well, I'm supposed to be ready," the Emperor said, and turned again for one last look in the mirror. "It is a remarkable fit, isn't it?" He seemed to regard his costume with the greatest interest. The noblemen who were to carry his train stooped low and reached for the floor as if they were picking up his mantle. Then they pretended to lift and hold it high. They didn't dare admit they had nothing to hold. So off went the Emperor in procession under his splendid canopy. Everyone in the streets and the windows said, "Oh, how fine are the Emperor's new clothes! Don't they fit him to perfection? And see his long train!" Nobody would confess that he couldn't see anything, for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. No costume the Emperor had worn before was ever such a complete success. "But he hasn't got anything on," a little child said. "Did you ever hear such innocent prattle?" said its father. And one person whispered to another what the child had said, "He hasn't anything on. A child says he hasn't anything on." "But he hasn't got anything on!" the whole town cried out at last. The Emperor shivered, for he suspected they were right. But he thought, "This procession has got to go on." So he walked more proudly than ever, as his noblemen held high the train that wasn't there at all.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:17 |
|
Golli posted:Many years ago there was an Emperor so exceedingly fond of new clothes that he spent all his money on being well dressed. He cared nothing about reviewing his soldiers, going to the theatre, or going for a ride in his carriage, except to show off his new clothes. He had a coat for every hour of the day, and instead of saying, as one might, about any other ruler, "The King's in council," here they always said. "The Emperor's in his dressing room."
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:22 |
|
.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:31 |
|
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:30 |
|
Space Crabs posted:the door might be identical in footprint, manufacture, size and function to a Stanley automatic door system but it's way more plausible that somehow the CIG employees converted a mechanical garage opener into a drive system for two separate doors that operates silently and instantly that just looks identical to a stanley automatic door system.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:32 |
|
ComfyPants posted:10 years for a circle? Minimum Viable Painting. By Ryan Archer
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:33 |
|
Oh and here's a vine of the spacedoor working. https://vine.co/v/itelIwgEP9z That is an expensive piece of work.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:37 |
|
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:41 |
|
Title : Ben in position for his breakfast.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:44 |
|
the agent has been found to be a goon
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:46 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon Goondolences.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:47 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon The first trace of a true detective work by Dr. Smart's fanbase.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:47 |
|
Dude, how many times? They found it in a loving garage, okay. What's so implausible about that? I went into my garage yesterday to get a paint brush and I found two, dead on the floor. It's not like I was even looking for them. They get everywhere, each female can breed a litter of a dozen every 4 weeks. I'm seriously thinking of getting some traps tbh. gently caress's sake, dumbass goons.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:47 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon I'm as shocked as you are
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:47 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon The last thing you will see before darkness.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:49 |
|
go ducks, down with cloud imperium games
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:49 |
|
spacetoaster posted:The last thing you will see before darkness.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:51 |
|
cuntiflas
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:51 |
|
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:52 |
|
Foo Diddley posted:Oh wow, this guy's in for a real treat
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:52 |
|
Tijuana Bibliophile posted:Oh, and about 200 of those 438 employees are Sandi, and she doesn't demand her VP salary for all of them Like THAT would, much less could, happen.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:53 |
|
TheAgent posted:go ducks, down with cloud imperium games
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:56 |
|
theagents leaks were accurate, derek smart was right t-shirts on sale now, $4.99 with $39.99 S&H
|
# ? May 1, 2017 02:56 |
|
I liked when in his letter Chris described the whale cultists as altruistic. I'm pretty sure they all think they're getting something for their money. They talk about their plans for their fleets and how they'll be hiring fleetless plebeians as crew, not their selfless charitable donation to provide a matrix universe simulation for those less fortunate.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:01 |
|
TheAgent posted:theagents leaks were accurate, derek smart was right t-shirts on sale now, $4.99 with $39.99 S&H fakeedit: medium, obviously. I'm not a Star Citizen.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:02 |
|
TheAgent posted:go ducks, down with cloud imperium games you guys still have 3 games to win, and the Edmonton ConorMcDavid's are lookin pretty hot right now
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:05 |
|
tooterfish posted:Can I buy two at once? Shopping cart with expanded capacity (>1 item) is the May concept ship sale. After May it will be available to subscribers only at a slight premium to the sale price.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:08 |
|
In a way I think that shitizens should really appreciate Derek, because his delightful bombast gives them a convenient windmill to tilt at to distract themselves from the dumpster fire that is Star Citizen.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:14 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon HA HA! All that hard work and craftiness in hiding your identity ALL FOR NAUGHT! I was going to confess you were a Goon, but you spent so much effort obscuring your identity, I was afraid of getting banned for doxxing.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:12 |
|
Ghostlight posted:Four hours ago he tweeted the installer saying it had an hour and thirty left on it. He hasn't updated since because obviously he is having so much fun. Probably having troubles with a follow-up tweet after his router went up in flames.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:18 |
|
TheAgent posted:theagents leaks were accurate, derek smart was right t-shirts on sale now, $ FTFY. Also, according to the ToS, there's no guarantees on shipping date, the size to be shipped, or whether or not it will even be shipped. Don't know why we should harvest some delicious whale tears also. EDIT: I wish I didn't snype so good. Samizdata fucked around with this message at 03:20 on May 1, 2017 |
# ? May 1, 2017 03:17 |
|
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:35 |
|
https://i.imgur.com/IaC7EPn.gifv
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:38 |
|
seems legit
|
# ? May 1, 2017 03:47 |
|
TrustmeImLegit posted:seems legit I feel I can trust you on that.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 04:01 |
|
TheAgent posted:the agent has been found to be a goon hosed up, if true
|
# ? May 1, 2017 04:05 |
|
This thread needs more stoats
|
# ? May 1, 2017 04:11 |
|
Thoatse posted:This thread needs more stoats
|
# ? May 1, 2017 04:22 |
|
|
# ? Jun 5, 2024 07:57 |
|
Thoatse posted:This thread needs more stoats I think these bunnes have the 'tism.
|
# ? May 1, 2017 05:27 |